Southtxponygirl - 2018-08-12 4:31 PM

Oh heck theres adults that still dont behave like adults, they still go on like they are teens, putting their fun time befor children, wife/husband, bills.    

WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 5:11 PM   you only live once. Horses are my priority and I don't really want kids... Maybe one. My fiance knows this and this is how I choose to live my life. It's honestly a choice. If you choose a college away where you can't take horses, a job that requires you to travel, marry a husband that doesn't support horses or have kids and just stop riding/ competing... it's a choice. Money obviously is they biggest drive but if you really want something you do find away to keep it in your life even just a little. Maybe it makes me a bad person to say that because I didn't choose that path but horses are what drive me and with out them I'd seriously be lost. Like I said you only live one life... One time.

WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 5:11 PM

  you only live once. Horses are my priority and I don't really want kids... Maybe one. My fiance knows this and this is how I choose to live my life. It's honestly a choice. If you choose a college away where you can't take horses, a job that requires you to travel, marry a husband that doesn't support horses or have kids and just stop riding/ competing... it's a choice. Money obviously is they biggest drive but if you really want something you do find away to keep it in your life even just a little. Maybe it makes me a bad person to say that because I didn't choose that path but horses are what drive me and with out them I'd seriously be lost. Like I said you only live one life... One time.

jake16 - 2018-08-12 4:10 PM  ADULTING IS HARD:(((

Southtxponygirl - 2018-08-12 5:34 PM

Hey now I was talking about the ones that are married and have children, not saying anything about the single people, if single then keep doing what you love best, but if married and have children then they should be your top priority..  

Chandler's Mom - 2018-08-12 9:08 PM Yep, I see it all the times, folks with children (multiple usually), that act no different than they did when they were 18 or 19. And seem offended by the notion that their life should change because "of that kid". Disgraceful

Chandler's Mom - 2018-08-12 9:08 PM


Yep, I see it all the times, folks with children (multiple usually), that act no different than they did when they were 18 or 19. And seem offended by the notion that their life should change because "of that kid". Disgraceful

WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 9:42 PM


  Kids should be your priority if you them but by no means does it mean you should neglect your time for you. Drop all your passions in life and get lost just because you have kids. To many people have kids and lose themselves. Then when the kids are gone they don't know who they are anymore. Even with children, horses can be a big part of your life... That was my point. It's a choice you make as a Person. Kids should not be a death sentence to your other joys on life.

madredepeanut - 2018-08-12 10:27 PM

I'm realizing that life is a whirlwind, and as soon as I slow down for one thing, another picks me back up and tosses me around before spitting me out. For about twenty years, I was all about horses and rodeo and never dreamed that I wouldn't be out there competing every weekend. Now I am counting down the days until my foals are old enough to be started, but I know once we start having kids I will be watching my horses run from the sidelines.

Responsibilities and priorities change, and accepting this fact to keep your life in order is paramount. The ones who resist change and are inflexible to life's curve balls find themselves lagging behind, clinging to the past instead of striding forward, excited for the next step.

Speaking of cleaning house, sorry to hijack the thread, but how many of you BBs on here have a housekeeper? We are contemplating having a reputable, local housekeeper come in and deep clean every month or two, as those arduous chores are not high on our list since we have so many other things to accomplish throughout our days, and I despise deep cleaning.

Chandler's Mom - 2018-08-12 8:45 PM


Kinda like Max said, thank goodness Sean and I both don't mind a little hay or dog hair on the floor!!! I do have a housekeeper once a week; she's been with my family since I was in elementary school, so as she gets older, she maybe doesn't do as much as she used to! But it's completely worth it to me to not have to do house work when I do get home from office, fish farm, barn, etc!!!

Go for it L!!!!

Chandler's Mom - 2018-08-12 10:00 PM


I'm talking about people who make a decision to get married and have children. Or keep having more children in spite of the very apparent fact that LITTLE ONES CHANGE YOUR LIFE. My son is my passion, my life, my everything. Do I adore my horses and give them the best? Absolutely, but Chandler is my number one joy and priority in life. Bar none. Again, I made this decision, and I realize not everyone feels like I do. I'm definitely not condemning you or your decision by any means. On the contrary, everyone should be so clear on their priorities.

madredepeanut - 2018-08-12 10:54 PM


We don't mind either, but we probably don't mind a little *too* much...
I completely agree with you D, it is so nice coming home to a clean house, and especially one less thing to worry about on a hectic day! I'm slowly convincing Jake by telling him about EVERYONE I know that has a housekeeper, there's no more subtle hints here

WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 10:59 PM


  nothing in no way wrong with your choice and its great you have your priorities in line with having children. But that isn't what I was getting at either. I meant we have a choice for what we make time for and how we spend it. If it's something you want... horses or whatever and you really want it in your life then you will make the time. Just like the career we choose. No way was I choosing a career that would effect my barrel racing by traveling for work or working where I couldn't have time to compete. I wanted a career that would compliment my lifestyle.... Because work is not my life.

madredepeanut - 2018-08-12 10:27 PM

I'm realizing that life is a whirlwind, and as soon as I slow down for one thing, another picks me back up and tosses me around before spitting me out. For about twenty years, I was all about horses and rodeo and never dreamed that I wouldn't be out there competing every weekend. Now I am counting down the days until my foals are old enough to be started, but I know once we start having kids I will be watching my horses run from the sidelines.

Responsibilities and priorities change, and accepting this fact to keep your life in order is paramount. The ones who resist change and are inflexible to life's curve balls find themselves lagging behind, clinging to the past instead of striding forward, excited for the next step.

Speaking of cleaning house, sorry to hijack the thread, but how many of you BBs on here have a housekeeper? We are contemplating having a reputable, local housekeeper come in and deep clean every month or two, as those arduous chores are not high on our list since we have so many other things to accomplish throughout our days, and I despise deep cleaning.

WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 5:11 PM


  you only live once. Horses are my priority and I don't really want kids... Maybe one. My fiance knows this and this is how I choose to live my life. It's honestly a choice. If you choose a college away where you can't take horses, a job that requires you to travel, marry a husband that doesn't support horses or have kids and just stop riding/ competing... it's a choice. Money obviously is they biggest drive but if you really want something you do find away to keep it in your life even just a little. Maybe it makes me a bad person to say that because I didn't choose that path but horses are what drive me and with out them I'd seriously be lost. Like I said you only live one life... One time.

WetSaddleBlankets - 2018-08-12 9:42 PM   Kids should be your priority if you them but by no means does it mean you should neglect your time for you. Drop all your passions in life and get lost just because you have kids. To many people have kids and lose themselves. Then when the kids are gone they don't know who they are anymore. Even with children, horses can be a big part of your life... That was my point. It's a choice you make as a Person. Kids should not be a death sentence to your other joys on life.

madredepeanut - 2018-08-12 11:27 PM I'm realizing that life is a whirlwind, and as soon as I slow down for one thing, another picks me back up and tosses me around before spitting me out. For about twenty years, I was all about horses and rodeo and never dreamed that I wouldn't be out there competing every weekend. Now I am counting down the days until my foals are old enough to be started, but I know once we start having kids I will be watching my horses run from the sidelines. Responsibilities and priorities change, and accepting this fact to keep your life in order is paramount. The ones who resist change and are inflexible to life's curve balls find themselves lagging behind, clinging to the past instead of striding forward, excited for the next step. Speaking of cleaning house, sorry to hijack the thread, but how many of you BBs on here have a housekeeper? We are contemplating having a reputable, local housekeeper come in and deep clean every month or two, as those arduous chores are not high on our list since we have so many other things to accomplish throughout our days, and I despise deep cleaning.

WYOTurn-n-Burn - 2018-08-13 9:56 AM

Actually.....no. As a 40 something year old, married to a team roper, no kids, I find we do what we want, when we want to do it. We've purposely set up our lives to have horses in the forefront. This may mean that my house isn't always clean, the yard not mowed and in impeccable condition, and that laundry may pile up.  And I'm really ok with that because our horses are working amazing and we are having fun together. Life is too short and our season is too short, to worry about living in a clean house or having the impeccable yard. I want to enjoy the life I created now and while I'm still able to do it.

Turnburnsis - 2018-08-13 8:04 AM

One of the reasons I chose not to have kids! Im 46 and don't regret it at all! Life bout choices. Not saying you or anyone on this board but when I hear complaints bout how hard life is, and even me! I have to realize we made the choices we wanted and it may not always go as planned but we have to make the best of it.

Southtxponygirl - 2018-08-13 9:46 AM


I was not going to reply to the comment about kido's being a death sentence to ones life joys, but that comment just bugged me, yes your life changes when you have children but in such a good way, children mode us to become a better person. I would never consider a child a death sentence to what we love doing we just learn to do things different and at a different pace.. I know the younger adults that dont have childern must see it this way, but please dont look at childern and think this, my 2 boys were a blessing and so many others think the same about their kids. I didnt drop my passion for horses I still have them and did what I wanted to do and never lost myself either. I agree its a choice and not everybody should be a mommie or daddy. 

abrad12 - 2018-08-13 9:14 AM


Sometimes that traveling job is all you can find that will pay the bills. Being single, taking care of 2 horses, paying rent and bills gets expensive. I can't just quit and go work at dairy queen. Yes I've applied for a million jobs, have a college degree, but the job market is shot right now. Not everyone is lucky to have a husband pay the bills. I'm super blessed I got to haul as much as I could last year. For that I'm greatful. For now, I have to grow up and get my SH** together so that I won't be living under an overpass somewhere. Not always a "CHOICE"

jake16 - 2018-08-13 9:57 PM

 Just remember,somewhere along the line life choices will slap you in the face,and you may just find yourself begging for a job that you don't love,and getting rid of things you enjoy and live for but can no longer afford.you may think you have the perfect life,but it only takes one bad accident,one sick loved one,and you just may loose it all.

Tbred - 2018-08-13 2:17 PM

Some days as an adult, a tired adult, I just don't feel like riding.  My kids are grown, my husband is busy doing his thing.  I don't have to keep the house as clean as I once did or have supper ready at a decent hour.  Sometimes I'm just tired.
I'm real gungho in the spring and the beginning of summer, but by this time of the year, I just don't wanna.  Maybe riding once a week.  I'm still running every weekend though, either a rodeo or a jackpot.  I don't do weeknight jackpots because it's just too much and I just want to stay home.
I work a full time job, and a part time job.  Some days just saddling is more work than I want, lol.
 

jake16 - 2018-08-13 9:57 PM  Just remember,somewhere along the line life choices will slap you in the face,and you may just find yourself begging for a job that you don't love,and getting rid of things you enjoy and live for but can no longer afford.you may think you have the perfect life,but it only takes one bad accident,one sick loved one,and you just may loose it all.

Herbie - 2018-08-14 9:45 AM I used to be that person that was "nothing will ever come between me and my passion, my horses, my traveling to run barrels" and even had a good side business riding for the public, starting their horses on the pattern, and marketing my own until the wheels fell off my wagon all at once several years ago.  I was married to a man who was into the same things as me; children were not only never in the picture, they weren't an option or up for discussion as our/my lifestyle didn't support having kids....we were both very driven and selfish.  We rodeod, we started horses, sold horses, everything was about horses.  When we divorced, I continued that lifestyle with an even more "all about me and my wants" attitude until something happened that robbed the joy of hauling and competing.  I was lost.  I sold my horses all except one, sent my outside horses home, and learned to enjoy new things.  I went to the lake, read lots of books, experienced alot of life that i'd missed out on due to my tunnel vision.   A couple years later I met a man who had two very young kids of his own.  I had started back riding and hauling a little bit at the time and the thought of having children had still never crossed my mind.  He was not a horsey guy, but he was interested and supportive of the fact that I was.  With two young kids though, I knew if I was going to commit to this man, and his kids, that my priorities were going to have to change and my wants and needs would have to come second.  I made that commitment over 8 years ago and it has been the best decision.  I do still ride, and I do still haul when it's convenient for our family.  They support me and the money it takes to maintain the couple of horses I have, and I support them in their athletics and the money it takes to help them to follow their dreams.  You can try to raise kids to love what you love, but that doesn't mean they will.  We have provided the kids with the opportunities to try as many things as they want, riding being one of them, and it just wasn't what they chose to pursue and that is perfectly fine.  They know what it's like to help me around the barn, yet most weekends we spend at sports tournaments and helping them pursue their passions.  



My point is, we never know what tomorrow will bring.  I enjoyed the days when my wants and needs were paramount over anything else and the self serving life I lived, but I enjoy this time in my life even more.  Sometimes it's not easy to put the needs of someone else's children before your own, but it's a commitment I made to this man and those kids and has been the best gift of my life.  Had you asked me 15 years ago if I thought i'd be married to a non horse man and be a step mom to two kids who have no interest in horses or riding I would have laughed in your face, but what a blessing this life is and i'm so thankful that things happened exactly the way they did.  I wouldn't miss this time for the world!  

Herbie - 2018-08-14 9:45 AM

I used to be that person that was "nothing will ever come between me and my passion, my horses, my traveling to run barrels" and even had a good side business riding for the public, starting their horses on the pattern, and marketing my own until the wheels fell off my wagon all at once several years ago.  I was married to a man who was into the same things as me; children were not only never in the picture, they weren't an option or up for discussion as our/my lifestyle didn't support having kids....we were both very driven and selfish.  We rodeod, we started horses, sold horses, everything was about horses.  When we divorced, I continued that lifestyle with an even more "all about me and my wants" attitude until something happened that robbed the joy of hauling and competing.  I was lost.  I sold my horses all except one, sent my outside horses home, and learned to enjoy new things.  I went to the lake, read lots of books, experienced alot of life that i'd missed out on due to my tunnel vision.   A couple years later I met a man who had two very young kids of his own.  I had started back riding and hauling a little bit at the time and the thought of having children had still never crossed my mind.  He was not a horsey guy, but he was interested and supportive of the fact that I was.  With two young kids though, I knew if I was going to commit to this man, and his kids, that my priorities were going to have to change and my wants and needs would have to come second.  I made that commitment over 8 years ago and it has been the best decision.  I do still ride, and I do still haul when it's convenient for our family.  They support me and the money it takes to maintain the couple of horses I have, and I support them in their athletics and the money it takes to help them to follow their dreams.  You can try to raise kids to love what you love, but that doesn't mean they will.  We have provided the kids with the opportunities to try as many things as they want, riding being one of them, and it just wasn't what they chose to pursue and that is perfectly fine.  They know what it's like to help me around the barn, yet most weekends we spend at sports tournaments and helping them pursue their passions.  

My point is, we never know what tomorrow will bring.  I enjoyed the days when my wants and needs were paramount over anything else and the self serving life I lived, but I enjoy this time in my life even more.  Sometimes it's not easy to put the needs of someone else's children before your own, but it's a commitment I made to this man and those kids and has been the best gift of my life.  Had you asked me 15 years ago if I thought i'd be married to a non horse man and be a step mom to two kids who have no interest in horses or riding I would have laughed in your face, but what a blessing this life is and i'm so thankful that things happened exactly the way they did.  I wouldn't miss this time for the world!  

Griz - 2018-08-14 5:42 AM I totally relate to this too. Sometimes, I just want to sit by the fire pit, drink a beer and CHILL. (on weekends, I go to bed too early to do this during the week)! LOL

Tbred - 2018-08-15 2:23 PM


It takes me till Thursday to recover from my weekends, LOL  Then we start over on Friday, LOL

jettster - 2018-08-16 8:17 AM Well I'm almost an adult LOL! I am 57 and 1/2 years old now. My whole life has been focused on succeeding running barrels, training horses, and being someone I've always wanted to be..I didn't get to have horses growing up..my mother raised 5 of us as a widow... . Life handed me a couple of Upper Cuts to the head. I had a fire come through that took almost everything. The firefighters saved my horse trailer,my horses, my house...thank God... I also had a divorce hit me at the same time.... that almost killed me. I dropped to 104 pounds. I was mentally gone. I have had good horses.... I have been to the turquoise circuit finals... And ..being alone so much... I'm finding I have no desire anymore to do anything . I feel like my soul was crushed. I still feel that way but I've been struggling. I'm in the best shape of my life... I have a great job that pays for just about anything I need... I have Brother Dave ...who's the best horse ever! ;-) I love my Dave...I dusted him off after 10 months of medical leave..he won a buckle,saddle,and money his first race back since the NMRA finals last October... so how do I get myself out of this pit of self-pity, and get myself back to being happy on a horse? The desire is there ..I am not driven as I used to be. I'm also alone and in alone I mean no one to share riding,chores, a beer,,....I'm taking care of my autistic teenager on the weekends, and my developmentally disabled sister 24/7. I have a bucket list that will never be recognized. I have 5 acres, a boarding facility ,and arena( needs better ground) that could be a showplace. I have a horse that could go on to be doing great things. I have a colt that is a potential winner...Instead I sit and I stare and I think... I don't know what to do sometimes...so I do nothing.

jettster - 2018-08-16 9:17 AM

Well I'm almost an adult LOL! I am 57 and 1/2 years old now. My whole life has been focused on succeeding running barrels, training horses, and being someone I've always wanted to be..I didn't get to have horses growing up..my mother raised 5 of us as a widow...
. Life handed me a couple of Upper Cuts to the head. I had a fire come through that took almost everything. The firefighters saved my horse trailer,my horses, my house...thank God... I also had a divorce hit me at the same time.... that almost killed me. I dropped to 104 pounds. I was mentally gone. I have had good horses.... I have been to the turquoise circuit finals... And ..being alone so much... I'm finding I have no desire anymore to do anything . I feel like my soul was crushed. I still feel that way but I've been struggling. I'm in the best shape of my life... I have a great job that pays for just about anything I need... I have Brother Dave ...who's the best horse ever! ;-)
I love my Dave...I dusted him off after 10 months of medical leave..he won a buckle,saddle,and money his first race back since the NMRA finals last October... so how do I get myself out of this pit of self-pity, and get myself back to being happy on a horse? The desire is there ..I am not driven as I used to be. I'm also alone and in alone I mean no one to share riding,chores, a beer,,....I'm taking care of my autistic teenager on the weekends, and my developmentally disabled sister 24/7. I have a bucket list that will never be recognized. I have 5 acres, a boarding facility ,and arena( needs better ground) that could be a showplace. I have a horse that could go on to be doing great things. I have a colt that is a potential winner...Instead I sit and I stare and I think... I don't know what to do sometimes...so I do nothing.

Griz - 2018-08-16 5:37 AM Are you my twin? LOL

jettster - 2018-08-16 8:17 AM

Well I'm almost an adult LOL! I am 57 and 1/2 years old now. My whole life has been focused on succeeding running barrels, training horses, and being someone I've always wanted to be..I didn't get to have horses growing up..my mother raised 5 of us as a widow...
. Life handed me a couple of Upper Cuts to the head. I had a fire come through that took almost everything. The firefighters saved my horse trailer,my horses, my house...thank God... I also had a divorce hit me at the same time.... that almost killed me. I dropped to 104 pounds. I was mentally gone. I have had good horses.... I have been to the turquoise circuit finals... And ..being alone so much... I'm finding I have no desire anymore to do anything . I feel like my soul was crushed. I still feel that way but I've been struggling. I'm in the best shape of my life... I have a great job that pays for just about anything I need... I have Brother Dave ...who's the best horse ever! ;-)
I love my Dave...I dusted him off after 10 months of medical leave..he won a buckle,saddle,and money his first race back since the NMRA finals last October... so how do I get myself out of this pit of self-pity, and get myself back to being happy on a horse? The desire is there ..I am not driven as I used to be. I'm also alone and in alone I mean no one to share riding,chores, a beer,,....I'm taking care of my autistic teenager on the weekends, and my developmentally disabled sister 24/7. I have a bucket list that will never be recognized. I have 5 acres, a boarding facility ,and arena( needs better ground) that could be a showplace. I have a horse that could go on to be doing great things. I have a colt that is a potential winner...Instead I sit and I stare and I think... I don't know what to do sometimes...so I do nothing.

Chandler's Mom - 2018-08-17 8:55 PM


Hugs and prayers for you

Griz - 2018-08-17 10:11 AM

Jettster - BIG HUGS! You must be exhausted! I agree with the other poster about you needing help! I don't think you are just sitting and doing nothing, I think you are too tired to take on more!

jake16 - 2018-08-17 9:08 AM


 OMGOSH,YOU HAVE YOUR HANDS FULL,AND YOU NEED SOME HELP!Is there any way you can get some outside help for home?Mentally you must be so tired,I can't even imagine.I bet you could sleep for days.Do you have medical insurance for your sister and son?maybe it would include outside help?So many prayers for you.