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Member
Posts: 25
| Recently just had my first baby. That means I’m currently not working and it’s only my husband working. And we are barley making it by financially. It was hard enough when we were both working but it has really taken a toll on us with only one income. And now that baby is here, my husband and I have came to
The conclusion that I’m going to stay at home with her instead of returning to work because there’s no way we can afford day care. My check wouldn’t even cover full time day care. It breaks my heart even typing because I never would think in a million years I would sell my heart horse. I have a dressage gelding that we bred and raised/trained And I’m thinking I may need to sell him. For his training/bloodlines I know with out a doubt I could sell him for enough to completely get us out of debt. And possibly enough to put a down payment to get into our first house. But I also know that I will never be able to buy a horse like his calibar. Or replace the memories/history and sentimental value of this horse. Anyone ever been in my position. How do you do it. Do I need to just buck up and sell the horse so I can be a stay at home mom and have a huge financial l relief. Never thought it would come down to this. Would love any tips/advice .
Edited by Bucksinbeauty18 2019-01-22 6:59 PM
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Location: Not Where I Want to Be | Adulting is hard, we've all been there and all had to make hard choices.
But it has to be done and in the long run it will be worth it.
You made one, make another.
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | Pray about it and weigh the pros and cons. Also look to see if there’s another option to help you all financially. We had our daughter last summer and it was so hard returning to work so you’re blessed to get to stay home. However I understand the financial burden. I sold my favorite horse of all time in the fall because he was going to waste sitting in the field in his prime. It was a tough decision but after praying and giving a lot of thought I did it and I’m totally at peace with that decision. He’s in a great home and I’m snuggled up with my baby. |
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 Veteran
Posts: 215
Location: Oregon | I too sold my "once in a lifetime" gelding when my baby was born,... It was life changing money and was well worth it. I wont say there arent days that Im still sad that hes gone, but giving my kids a better life is worth it all! I am not wealthy nor do I have family that helps support my horse passion. It is my hubby and I doing it, I went 1 year with no horses now that my son is older I have another horse. What I have learned its not a particular horse that feeds my passion its, its having a horse and not being stressed out about money. Being able to look at my son and know I have done the right thing. For me I brought another child into the world and it wasnt all about me anymore.... It was hard, but its been four years and I would do it again in a heart beat. (plus horses are fragile animals if you can sell one for life changing money, do it!) |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| We were broke broke broke when first married with kids and like you, a full time job would not have covered the cost if day care- we had 4 in 4 years. I worked nights 2 -3 times a week, worked in church nurseries on the weekends, anything I could find when my husband could be at home with the kids. I did this for about 3 years till his income increased. My daughter keeps one baby to help pay bills so she can stay home. I won’t be much help on selling the horse, I have a hard time keeping emotion out if it. I turned down big bucks for one of ours just because I was attached to him, I turned him into one of the most expensive 3D horses out there. We were no financially strapped so the money was not an issue but it still made no sense. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1367
Location: mi | I agree that adulting is hard and selling is probably what you should do. If it is more just to get out of any expenses associated with the horse and not so much the income from the sale. What about a lease. I know in the non Barrel horse world. Putting your horse with a trainer of your choosing and them finding a suitable student to lease said horse happens all the time. You can then hold off on the selling side and see if you absolutely have to. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | Awe.....hugs to you! When my daughter was born, I stayed home for 9 mos. Our savings ran dry, it was hard. Yes, I was ready to sell out if that's what I had to do. Adulting really bites. My old boss called and asked if I wanted to work part time, and I was able to find good in home child care that wasnt expensive to make the return to work worth it. I was able to keep the horse, but until recently, could not afford to haul anywhere so she just sat. But I'm happy to have her.
Anyway. Noadvice. Just hugs...I remember being so sick to my stomach at knowing if something didnt change I would have no choice and how much it hurt my heart. :'(
Not sure what your line of work was, but is there any type of work from home part time gig you could find, like data entry or something along those lines, you could try to help make ends meet?
Best of luck.  |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
Location: MN | I am not a mom yet but I'll be praying for you and that the right decision presents itself.
Just an idea - I was on indeed.com the other day and noticed there are A LOT of work from home jobs listed there now a days. They dont pay much....but its something and it may help you keep your heart horse. Its so hard to even think about doing that! I know being a new mother and all is a full time job in itself but where there is a will, there is a way. 
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 456
Location: SW MO | Have you exhausted everything? If you really think he is your once in a lifetime, I would do anything to keep him. Work nights, work from home, sell extra clothes/tack/things you don't really need. Coupon. If there is a will, most often there is a way JMO. |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 357
| I have been in a similar position. My husband is not a horse person. I sold my favorite horse when I became pregnant with my first. There was a lady looking for her particular breeding and was going to flush her embryos, so I had the hopes of being able to buy one of her foals down the road. However she got a brain Aneurysm and died a couple years later with no embryos. She contacted me and told me what had happen it literally broke my heart and really never had the desire to ride in 6 years. Last year I sent my dad to pick up a gelding that had been for sale for over a year and I had just kept going back to him for some reason. I just ask a few questions about him never seen him or anything. The first time I put a leg over him I knew, he was what I needed. The feeling he gives me is something I can’t even explain.
So what I’m saying is if you do sell another horse is out there. I sold my mare for top dollar and bought my guy now for dirt cheap! There is another out there for you!
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 502
Location: United States | I'm really sorry that selling your heart horse is the only option for financial relief, kids are amazing but as mothers we have to sacrifice a lot to benefit from the rewards of our efforts. If I were you I would sell your heart horse and when you baby/children are older it will be time for you to purchase another prospect and make another winner. My boys are now 5 and 7 and this is the first year I wont be feeling bad about hauling to more overnight races. There is a short time in a mothers life when we have to accept that our investment in our young family is the foundation to an amazing life ahead. I'm thinking of you, I know this must make you very sad. If you sell I hope you become friends with the buyer. Maybe someday he would be back in your life, even if he is 24 years old. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | What a hard decision. I recently had to make one kind of similar. I sold every horse I owned so that we could build our house this year. I know that I will be grateful for it eventually, like when the house is done and we have a much more reasonable mortgage than if we had done it with just the savings we had before I sold out. But it was a hard call to make and I missed them a lot. So now I'm exercising horses for a farm up the road from 5:30-7:30am about 4-5 days a week. I get my fix and I'm actually making a little bit of spending money from it.
I don't think you'll regret putting your family first. But that doesn't mean you won't miss your horse too. Wishing you the best with your decision! |
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Expert
Posts: 1314
Location: North Central Iowa Land of white frozen grass | Sell the horse
Pay off your debts
Your marriage will be much better without the stress.
They make new horses every year.
Shut off the daily cost of having the horse.
When you are in a better spot in your life you can find a much less costly horse and have just as much fun.
Your thoughts on what kind of horse you want after having your child will change. As in not putting your health at risk.
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 Expert
Posts: 1718
Location: Southeast Louisiana | Keep in mind that you won’t be able to show him, either. He will be sitting in the pasture, losing value and going to waste.
If you sell him now, while he is at the top of his game, you can be a little picky about who buys him.
I also like the leasing idea. I actually did that with a nice barrel horse I once had and it worked out well. They ended up buying him. |
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Miracle in the Making
Posts: 4013
| family first and that horse could brak a leg off andit happen my book sell him kiss him and thank him for the opportunity he is giving ur family
don/t look back debt free and a house
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 Own It and Move On
Location: The edge of no where | Sell him. The reality is that you won't have the finances to show him if you're scraping by. I made the decision a month ago to sell my 'once in a lifetime mare'. It will help me get to where I need to be financially (getting divorced is HARD on the checkbook) & I will train another. She's a very nice horse that I've really been blessed to own and I pray that the right person loves her next. I'll cry a lot the day I let her go, I raised her and she's been good to me. As one poster stated - adulting is hard!
She's going to sell Feb 9.
https://barrelhorseworld.com/horsedetail.asp?ID=356355
Edited by MS2011 2019-01-23 3:52 PM
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | MS2011 - 2019-01-23 3:50 PM Sell him. The reality is that you won't have the finances to show him if you're scraping by. I made the decision a month ago to sell my 'once in a lifetime mare'. It will help me get to where I need to be financially (getting divorced is HARD on the checkbook) & I will train another. She's a very nice horse that I've really been blessed to own and I pray that the right person loves her next. I'll cry a lot the day I let her go, I raised her and she's been good to me. As one poster stated - adulting is hard!
She's going to sell Feb 9.
https://barrelhorseworld.com/horsedetail.asp?ID=356355
Very nice horse, sorry that you are having to sell  |
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Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| MS2011 - 2019-01-23 3:50 PM Sell him. The reality is that you won't have the finances to show him if you're scraping by. I made the decision a month ago to sell my 'once in a lifetime mare'. It will help me get to where I need to be financially (getting divorced is HARD on the checkbook) & I will train another. She's a very nice horse that I've really been blessed to own and I pray that the right person loves her next. I'll cry a lot the day I let her go, I raised her and she's been good to me. As one poster stated - adulting is hard!
She's going to sell Feb 9.
https://barrelhorseworld.com/horsedetail.asp?ID=356355
Aww, so sorry you are having to sell. I had to retire my once in a lifetime horse because of injury. I thought I would never own another that would mean as much to me as he did but you know what, a year later I have one in my barn one that I also consider my once in a lifetime horse. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2128
| Last week within two days we sold our two best rope horses that were part of the family. One we raised since a yearling. IT STINGS but if you are in the horse business you have to let the good ones go if you are ever going to make money and get ahead. Sounds like you have the oppourtunity to significantly improve your situation. It may hurt, but if you are considering it you should. Think of how much relief it will bring to your every day life. I am one that LOVES my horses, my emotions are involved but we have goals in life and we had to do what we had to do. Plus anyone that gives that kind of money for a horse you can almost rest assured they'll be well taken care of.
Edited by scwebster 2019-01-24 10:05 AM
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | I sold my heart horse. Loaded him in the trailer to his new home January 31, 2016. He paid off a lot of debt. In hindsight, my situation was a little different. I had found out the day before I was pregnant. BUT, I let my narcissist of a now ex husband tell me I'd never do anything with him, etc. I should have sold the ex and kept the horse.
Only you know what to do. You may think another horse of that caliber may not come along and you could be right... but you have to do what is best for you and your family.
I've been trying like hell the past 3 years to figure out a way to get mine back. It may happen in the next couple of years, only time will tell. |
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 BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25351
Location: Bastrop, Texas | Kudo’s to you for asking for advice, and kudos to you for demonstrating the maturity to consider making this painful decision.
In the end, you will be better for it, and you will have learned a valuable lesson.
I hope you heed the good advice others have offered to you.
There are a lot of potential “heart horses” out there, and I have a feeling you will have another someday. |
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Member
Posts: 25
| Wow! I was not expecting such supportive responses. Y’all are amazing! Really helped me look at it from a realistic stand point. As some have said if I keep him he will sit in the pasture and be a trail horse for a few years. He’s in his prime and he loves the showing atmosphere. It would be mean of me to let him waste in the field. Sounds like it’s time for him to go find someone and make their dreams and goals come true and help us get out of a financial rut. We don’t have a savings we live pay check to pay check. Guess he is a blessing to my new little family to help us get on our feet, out of this mountain of debt and let me experience being a mom. Thanks again everyone for all the kind responses. |
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