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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
 
Location: TN | Home with a sick baby girl and got curious to know the horse community’s response to this question... how many years apart are your kids? And what have been the pros and cons to that age gap? | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | 22 months between my 2. And I'm DONE. We may adopt later on but we are done having biological children.
Anyway. Pros....I kind of feel like I just ripped the bandaid off, I went thru a few years of hectic crazy and no sleep and got it over with (lol). And my oldest doesn't remember being an only child. She did get some time to herself but she wasn't so old that she remembers a better time before her brother....haha 
They're also really really close and I hope that stays that way. If one is playing with a friend, the other doesn't tend to feel left out bc there is a large age gap.
Cons.....holy crap those first 6 mos after having my 2nd were rough. My 1st was naturally still very needy, my 2nd had severe reflux and was labeled failure to thrive and it was just tough. I had tons of mom guilt and was constantly exhausted. Looking back I feel like I didnt get to enjoy anything about that stage and it makes me rather sad. Also. I feel like they fight way more than they should. Idk if this is a normal sibling thing or because they are so close. Idk.
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 705
Location: Weatherford, TX | I couldn't have kids, but have to hand it to mothers that have their children close. I can't even begin to imagine the exhaustion and the 'treadmill' of day in day out that you are dealing with having them 2 years apart. I completely get the reasoning; have them close together get it all over with and be done, they will be close as siblings, etc..
But, wow... those 2-3 years have to drive Moms crazy with lack of sleep, fighting and just keeping up with the day to day 'stuff'.
My 'hat' is off to you that you have done it. I'm a big 'wuss'.  
Edited by Gator Bug 2019-01-29 12:05 PM
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | MOGirl07 - 2019-01-29 11:24 AM
22 months between my 2. And I'm DONE. We may adopt later on but we are done having biological children.
Anyway. Pros....I kind of feel like I just ripped the bandaid off, I went thru a few years of hectic crazy and no sleep and got it over with (lol ). And my oldest doesn't remember being an only child. She did get some time to herself but she wasn't so old that she remembers a better time before her brother....haha
They're also really really close and I hope that stays that way. If one is playing with a friend, the other doesn't tend to feel left out bc there is a large age gap.
Cons.....holy crap those first 6 mos after having my 2nd were rough. My 1st was naturally still very needy, my 2nd had severe reflux and was labeled failure to thrive and it was just tough. I had tons of mom guilt and was constantly exhausted. Looking back I feel like I didnt get to enjoy anything about that stage and it makes me rather sad. Also. I feel like they fight way more than they should. Idk if this is a normal sibling thing or because they are so close. Idk.
That sounds so stressful! You are tough mama! I’m sure it will be nice for them to grow up close though since they’ll be into similar things. | |
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Veteran
Posts: 225
Location: Montgomery TX | OK - so my boys are 3 years apart - They were total BFF's until about the teenage years - about the time my older one started driving and getting a little more independent and the younger one staying at home but wanting to go with the older kids. When they both were able to drive and have their own vehicles, things got much better! Now at 21 and 18 they have passed that stage and are back to being great friends!
In 2017 I re-married a wonderful man with 2 daughters - they are currently 4 and 11 - OMG they fight like cats and dogs - I don't know if it cuz they are girls or if it is the age difference or what. The older girl wants to boss the younger ALL the time - and the younger one just wants to love her sister. I have no idea how this is going to play out....
But on a good note - the girls adore their older brothers and the vise versa - so there is that!!
Edited to add - my nieces and cousins have children the same age as our girls so it results in lots of sleep overs - I honestly do not know how people have large families close together. It wears me out, but i'm not as young as I once was either - that's what people keep telling me. LOL
Edited by bten 2019-01-29 12:17 PM
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Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | Thanks, KatieMac and Gator Bug. :) although I assure you I'm a hot mess much of the time at this stage of having a 2.5 and 4 yr old lol!
Idk how I got thru those first 6 mos after having my second. It was the perfect storm and a really hard time for our entire family, but we got through it. Did I mention we had a situation with our house that required a gut job of our kitchen dining and living rooms? Yeah that was fun. Total surprise. We went to replace floors and cabinets and discovered black mold and a myriad of other issues so we just decided to gut it. We didnt have a lot of extra money so my husband did 95% of the work and we moved in with my mom for a bit, me and the kids. My husband would get off work, come visit us as moms house for a bit and have dinner, and go work on the house til 2am and just sleep there. Worst 6 weeks ever. I will never remodel again! Lol! | |
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| 4.5 year between first two and there will be 6 years from second and third. I love the bigger age gaps. Each kid had time to learn to be their own person and are beyond a certain stage before the next one is interested in the same things. My kids hardly ever fight, they are great friends and take care of each other. It's hard to start over again but it works well for us. | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 357
| My two kiddos are 25 months apart exactly. Although I didn’t plan them to be that close, I wouldn’t change it now. I have a 6 year old boy and 4 year old daughter, they are best friends and would be lost without each other. I was a little upset when I become pregnant with my second since I just got back to riding again consistently. So I decided to take another two year break..I decided two is the perfect number for me especiall since they were both easy babies and I probably won’t get that lucky a third time.
I am the youngest child in my family ( my sister is 10 years older and brother 8 years older). Although I couldn’t image starting back over after 8 years little my parents did, I’m very close with my siblings and always have been. I was like an only child through my high school years, | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | Oh my goodness MOgirl if you can survive that with young babies you can survive anything! | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 705
Location: Weatherford, TX | KatieMac88 - 2019-01-29 2:27 PM Oh my goodness MOgirl if you can survive that with young babies you can survive anything!
No kidding...that is just nuts! | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | bbennington - 2019-01-29 1:15 PM
My two kiddos are 25 months apart exactly. Although I didn’t plan them to be that close, I wouldn’t change it now. I have a 6 year old boy and 4 year old daughter, they are best friends and would be lost without each other. I was a little upset when I become pregnant with my second since I just got back to riding again consistently. So I decided to take another two year break..I decided two is the perfect number for me especiall since they were both easy babies and I probably won’t get that lucky a third time.
I am the youngest child in my family ( my sister is 10 years older and brother 8 years older). Although I couldn’t image starting back over after 8 years little my parents did, I’m very close with my siblings and always have been. I was like an only child through my high school years,
Two sounds like a good number! My two siblings and I are each spaced 2 years apart and we’re all close but the dynamic between my sister and I (2 years apart) and my sister and brother (2 years apart) is definitely a closer/different bond than my brother and I (4 years apart). | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | bscanchaser - 2019-01-29 1:07 PM
4.5 year between first two and there will be 6 years from second and third. I love the bigger age gaps. Each kid had time to learn to be their own person and are beyond a certain stage before the next one is interested in the same things. My kids hardly ever fight, they are great friends and take care of each other. It's hard to start over again but it works well for us.
This is why my husband and I are kind of leaning towards waiting a longer time before having a second baby. We want our little girl to get lots of special attention but eventually would love for her to have a sibling. That’s good to know your kids are close despite the age gaps. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | bten - 2019-01-29 12:12 PM
OK - so my boys are 3 years apart - They were total BFF's until about the teenage years - about the time my older one started driving and getting a little more independent and the younger one staying at home but wanting to go with the older kids. When they both were able to drive and have their own vehicles, things got much better! Now at 21 and 18 they have passed that stage and are back to being great friends!
In 2017 I re-married a wonderful man with 2 daughters - they are currently 4 and 11 - OMG they fight like cats and dogs - I don't know if it cuz they are girls or if it is the age difference or what. The older girl wants to boss the younger ALL the time - and the younger one just wants to love her sister. I have no idea how this is going to play out....
But on a good note - the girls adore their older brothers and the vise versa - so there is that!!
Edited to add - my nieces and cousins have children the same age as our girls so it results in lots of sleep overs - I honestly do not know how people have large families close together. It wears me out, but i'm not as young as I once was either - that's what people keep telling me. LOL
Interesting... the fighting and not seeing eye to eye is definitely a concern I have about spacing them out farther. | |
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 Zeal Queen
Posts: 3826
Location: TEXAS | 19 months!! Both boys!! Love it they have a best friend!! | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 312
Location: KS | Thanks for the hand. :)
My first 2 are 13 months apart, due with my third in April which will make my 2nd and 3rd 18 months apart, so will have 3 under 3. It is hard on mind and body but so far have no regrets for it happening this way. When we made the decision to start our family after 7 years of marriage, I said I would have them until I KNOW im done, so we will see what God has in store for us. I feel so blessed to get them this way as I know woman out there who try so hard for one.
I am also blessed to get to stay home with my children as we farm/ranch and I am self employed from home. I would not have them this way if I had to work through their childhood. I have to hand it to the working away from home moms because I tried and couldn't do it.
There's days when its overwhelming or I need someone besides a toddler to talk to but so far its all so rewarding. This is truly what life is about. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | Peewee212 - 2019-01-29 4:40 PM
Thanks for the hand. :)
My first 2 are 13 months apart, due with my third in April which will make my 2nd and 3rd 18 months apart, so will have 3 under 3. It is hard on mind and body but so far have no regrets for it happening this way. When we made the decision to start our family after 7 years of marriage, I said I would have them until I KNOW im done, so we will see what God has in store for us. I feel so blessed to get them this way as I know woman out there who try so hard for one.
I am also blessed to get to stay home with my children as we farm/ranch and I am self employed from home. I would not have them this way if I had to work through their childhood. I have to hand it to the working away from home moms because I tried and couldn't do it.
There's days when its overwhelming or I need someone besides a toddler to talk to but so far its all so rewarding. This is truly what life is about.
That’s awesome! You’re a strong mama! I wish I could stay home with my girl. I have to work for us to make ends meet so daycare cost is definitely playing into our decision when planning for a 2nd in the future. Treasure that time with your sweet babies! | |
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Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | Gator Bug - 2019-01-29 2:32 PM
KatieMac88 - 2019-01-29 2:27 PM Oh my goodness MOgirl if you can survive that with young babies you can survive anything!
No kidding...that is just nuts!
I survived.....can't say how sane I was after all that but....I did make it out alive!  | |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| 4 kids, 13 months between 1 and 2, 18 months between 2 and 3, 15 months between 3 and 4 - tubes tied after #4 with no regrets! Pros, everyone played together well, built in friends, all on the same page on vacations, no one too little too participate when they were older. No cons, I loved having them close together. My 3 girls all got to high school rodeo together, #4 was a boy and he does not ride. My kids are ages 26-30 and all very close. | |
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Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | KatieMac88 - 2019-01-29 5:02 PM
Peewee212 - 2019-01-29 4:40 PM
Thanks for the hand. :)
My first 2 are 13 months apart, due with my third in April which will make my 2nd and 3rd 18 months apart, so will have 3 under 3. It is hard on mind and body but so far have no regrets for it happening this way. When we made the decision to start our family after 7 years of marriage, I said I would have them until I KNOW im done, so we will see what God has in store for us. I feel so blessed to get them this way as I know woman out there who try so hard for one.
I am also blessed to get to stay home with my children as we farm/ranch and I am self employed from home. I would not have them this way if I had to work through their childhood. I have to hand it to the working away from home moms because I tried and couldn't do it.
There's days when its overwhelming or I need someone besides a toddler to talk to but so far its all so rewarding. This is truly what life is about.
That’s awesome! You’re a strong mama! I wish I could stay home with my girl. I have to work for us to make ends meet so daycare cost is definitely playing into our decision when planning for a 2nd in the future. Treasure that time with your sweet babies!
Kudos to both of you! Peewee....I'm seriously so impressed that you're able to work at home and get things done with two littles!
And katie....idk how full time working mamas do it. I really dont. I work only 20 hrs a week and can barely keep up with housework and everything else. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | MOGirl07 - 2019-01-29 7:04 PM
KatieMac88 - 2019-01-29 5:02 PM
Peewee212 - 2019-01-29 4:40 PM
Thanks for the hand. :)
My first 2 are 13 months apart, due with my third in April which will make my 2nd and 3rd 18 months apart, so will have 3 under 3. It is hard on mind and body but so far have no regrets for it happening this way. When we made the decision to start our family after 7 years of marriage, I said I would have them until I KNOW im done, so we will see what God has in store for us. I feel so blessed to get them this way as I know woman out there who try so hard for one.
I am also blessed to get to stay home with my children as we farm/ranch and I am self employed from home. I would not have them this way if I had to work through their childhood. I have to hand it to the working away from home moms because I tried and couldn't do it.
There's days when its overwhelming or I need someone besides a toddler to talk to but so far its all so rewarding. This is truly what life is about.
That’s awesome! You’re a strong mama! I wish I could stay home with my girl. I have to work for us to make ends meet so daycare cost is definitely playing into our decision when planning for a 2nd in the future. Treasure that time with your sweet babies!
Kudos to both of you! Peewee....I'm seriously so impressed that you're able to work at home and get things done with two littles!
And katie....idk how full time working mamas do it. I really dont. I work only 20 hrs a week and can barely keep up with housework and everything else.
MOgirl, it’s so hard! I teach so thankfully I get weekends, holidays, and get off work at 3 but still there is never enough time in the day to get everything done. Most of the time I’d rather play with my little girl than clean the house anyway lol. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | rodeomom3 - 2019-01-29 7:03 PM
4 kids, 13 months between 1 and 2, 18 months between 2 and 3, 15 months between 3 and 4 - tubes tied after #4 with no regrets! Pros, everyone played together well, built in friends, all on the same page on vacations, no one too little too participate when they were older. No cons, I loved having them close together. My 3 girls all got to high school rodeo together, #4 was a boy and he does not ride. My kids are ages 26-30 and all very close.
That’s impressive! I bet those were some great memories raising all those babies! | |
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Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | KatieMac88 - 2019-01-30 7:38 AM
MOGirl07 - 2019-01-29 7:04 PM
KatieMac88 - 2019-01-29 5:02 PM
Peewee212 - 2019-01-29 4:40 PM
Thanks for the hand. :)
My first 2 are 13 months apart, due with my third in April which will make my 2nd and 3rd 18 months apart, so will have 3 under 3. It is hard on mind and body but so far have no regrets for it happening this way. When we made the decision to start our family after 7 years of marriage, I said I would have them until I KNOW im done, so we will see what God has in store for us. I feel so blessed to get them this way as I know woman out there who try so hard for one.
I am also blessed to get to stay home with my children as we farm/ranch and I am self employed from home. I would not have them this way if I had to work through their childhood. I have to hand it to the working away from home moms because I tried and couldn't do it.
There's days when its overwhelming or I need someone besides a toddler to talk to but so far its all so rewarding. This is truly what life is about.
That’s awesome! You’re a strong mama! I wish I could stay home with my girl. I have to work for us to make ends meet so daycare cost is definitely playing into our decision when planning for a 2nd in the future. Treasure that time with your sweet babies!
Kudos to both of you! Peewee....I'm seriously so impressed that you're able to work at home and get things done with two littles!
And katie....idk how full time working mamas do it. I really dont. I work only 20 hrs a week and can barely keep up with housework and everything else.
MOgirl, it’s so hard! I teach so thankfully I get weekends, holidays, and get off work at 3 but still there is never enough time in the day to get everything done. Most of the time I’d rather play with my little girl than clean the house anyway lol.
My house is NEVER clean anymore. It drives me bananas but I'm with you, I'd rather be playing with my kids after work than cleaning.
What do you teach? | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | MOGirl07 - 2019-01-30 7:45 AM
KatieMac88 - 2019-01-30 7:38 AM
MOGirl07 - 2019-01-29 7:04 PM
KatieMac88 - 2019-01-29 5:02 PM
Peewee212 - 2019-01-29 4:40 PM
Thanks for the hand. :)
My first 2 are 13 months apart, due with my third in April which will make my 2nd and 3rd 18 months apart, so will have 3 under 3. It is hard on mind and body but so far have no regrets for it happening this way. When we made the decision to start our family after 7 years of marriage, I said I would have them until I KNOW im done, so we will see what God has in store for us. I feel so blessed to get them this way as I know woman out there who try so hard for one.
I am also blessed to get to stay home with my children as we farm/ranch and I am self employed from home. I would not have them this way if I had to work through their childhood. I have to hand it to the working away from home moms because I tried and couldn't do it.
There's days when its overwhelming or I need someone besides a toddler to talk to but so far its all so rewarding. This is truly what life is about.
That’s awesome! You’re a strong mama! I wish I could stay home with my girl. I have to work for us to make ends meet so daycare cost is definitely playing into our decision when planning for a 2nd in the future. Treasure that time with your sweet babies!
Kudos to both of you! Peewee....I'm seriously so impressed that you're able to work at home and get things done with two littles!
And katie....idk how full time working mamas do it. I really dont. I work only 20 hrs a week and can barely keep up with housework and everything else.
MOgirl, it’s so hard! I teach so thankfully I get weekends, holidays, and get off work at 3 but still there is never enough time in the day to get everything done. Most of the time I’d rather play with my little girl than clean the house anyway lol.
My house is NEVER clean anymore. It drives me bananas but I'm with you, I'd rather be playing with my kids after work than cleaning.
What do you teach?
2nd Grade - we’ve been off for snow days and I’m loving it! More time with the little sweetie. | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 312
Location: KS | KatieMac88 - 2019-01-30 11:16 AM
MOGirl07 - 2019-01-30 7:45 AM
KatieMac88 - 2019-01-30 7:38 AM
MOGirl07 - 2019-01-29 7:04 PM
KatieMac88 - 2019-01-29 5:02 PM
Peewee212 - 2019-01-29 4:40 PM
Thanks for the hand. :)
My first 2 are 13 months apart, due with my third in April which will make my 2nd and 3rd 18 months apart, so will have 3 under 3. It is hard on mind and body but so far have no regrets for it happening this way. When we made the decision to start our family after 7 years of marriage, I said I would have them until I KNOW im done, so we will see what God has in store for us. I feel so blessed to get them this way as I know woman out there who try so hard for one.
I am also blessed to get to stay home with my children as we farm/ranch and I am self employed from home. I would not have them this way if I had to work through their childhood. I have to hand it to the working away from home moms because I tried and couldn't do it.
There's days when its overwhelming or I need someone besides a toddler to talk to but so far its all so rewarding. This is truly what life is about.
That’s awesome! You’re a strong mama! I wish I could stay home with my girl. I have to work for us to make ends meet so daycare cost is definitely playing into our decision when planning for a 2nd in the future. Treasure that time with your sweet babies!
Kudos to both of you! Peewee....I'm seriously so impressed that you're able to work at home and get things done with two littles!
And katie....idk how full time working mamas do it. I really dont. I work only 20 hrs a week and can barely keep up with housework and everything else.
MOgirl, it’s so hard! I teach so thankfully I get weekends, holidays, and get off work at 3 but still there is never enough time in the day to get everything done. Most of the time I’d rather play with my little girl than clean the house anyway lol.
My house is NEVER clean anymore. It drives me bananas but I'm with you, I'd rather be playing with my kids after work than cleaning.
What do you teach?
2nd Grade - we’ve been off for snow days and I’m loving it! More time with the little sweetie.
Well you have the best job for a working mom as you will get the same days off when they are or if they are in school. And my mom (who also had 4 in 4 years) always has told me who wants to me known as the woman/mom with the clean house. So much more to life than a house that is tidy 24/7, it will be there tomorrow or the next.
Yes I am lucky to have a supportive husband and when given the opportunity to work under a business my best friend and her husband started, I know God answered my prayers. I was working part time for the first 6 months of my sons life. Makes is easier that this job is something I think my husband enjoys just as much and is easy enough to do while we still farm/ranch. At this point I don't know that Ill ever go back to a 8-5, I am planning to homeschool for awhile as long as its a good fit for each kid. | |
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Location: NE Wyoming | Twelve years between mine. Daughter is 16 and Small Male Child (SMC) is 4. Absolutely LOVE the age difference!! Never wanted more after daughter, we were perfectly happy. But we would not trade SMC for the world!! Although I tell myself that now, it may change when daughter goes to college (I may go with her) lol. They're really close and she loves teaching him things. She rodeos and raises show sheep and he thinks she walks on water, especially when he gets to ride her good horses. As a side note, I'm a waaayyyy better mother as an older mother, so that's a huge plus for my kiddos :) | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 933
Location: north dakota | 18 years. My oldest son is 20, 15 year old daughter, 14 year old son, 12 year old son, 6 year old daughter, 3 year old daughter and almost 2 year old son.
The pros to being close in age is they play a lot together when there younger but they also want what the other is playing with. Cons is when they are little you end up with them all wanting to sit on your lap and when it’s more than 2 little kids it’s a tight fit.
With the bigger age gap the older siblings can help out. Usually less fighting. Con is you have to take the small kids to the older kids sporting and school events and you are divided in keeping the younger kids entertained and watching the event. Taking them to jackpots and rodeos is even more challenging and most of the time I don’t bring a horse for myself
Edited by ndcowgirl 2019-01-30 5:13 PM
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Addicted to Baseball
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | Irish twins, 11 months to the day. We got a late start in our late-30's and thought we better not put it off too long. A girl and a boy. They were easy to raise and have always gotten along great. DH is 4 years older than his brother and they were not close, always different schools, then separated by college. It was like having 2 rounds of kids and he didn't want that. | |
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 Born not Made
Posts: 2931
Location: North Dakota | My two are 20 months apart .... and the younger one is just coming up on 1 year old. Yeah, it's crazy sometimes but I figure we already have the house baby-proofed. Might as well get'r done! LOL. It hard to choose some nights between working with the horses (I board) and coming home, but I still love them to death anyway. | |
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Member
Posts: 14
| MOGirl07 - 2019-01-30 7:45 AM My house is NEVER clean anymore. It drives me bananas but I'm with you, I'd rather be playing with my kids after work than cleaning.
I totally agree with you here,
According to Greg McKeown the author of the book called Essentialism the majority of things in life are completely UNIMPORTANT and only a few things truly matter.
It is my strong opinion that playing with kids, investing time in their development, and understanding that raising champion kids is a hard hard work that requires a lot of patience are those few things we need to be focusing on instead of being upset about how clean the house is for example.
Have you read the book (here is a short summary) or did you come to this conclusion by yourself?
I mean, not too many people agree (but I am definitely with oyou here) that a super clean house 24x7 is completely unimportant compared to spending quality time with kids. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 705
Location: Weatherford, TX | r_beau - 2019-02-02 8:25 PM My two are 20 months apart .... and the younger one is just coming up on 1 year old. Yeah, it's crazy sometimes but I figure we already have the house baby-proofed. Might as well get'r done! LOL. It hard to choose some nights between working with the horses (I board) and coming home, but I still love them to death anyway. I know you love them beyond whatever is out there. But it has to be very hard and I sincerely applaud you for that.
You are a WAY bigger person than I am.
Because if I could have had kids, I would have sucked as a parent and they would have been in therapy.
You can say that a lot of kids are products of 'selfish' parents. Because people were selfish and had kids cause they thought they needed to and the kids are screwed up. Seen it, been there, done that. Got the 'Tee-shirt' type of thing. I have had long talks and talked to Moms.
I am applauding you for your choice/no choice and may God bless you for doing it. Cause God knows, I couldn't have done it even IF I could have kids.
I take Mother's Day very seriously with my Mom.
Edited by Gator Bug 2019-02-02 9:44 PM
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Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | RomanK - 2019-02-02 9:29 PM
MOGirl07 - 2019-01-30 7:45 AM My house is NEVER clean anymore. It drives me bananas but I'm with you, I'd rather be playing with my kids after work than cleaning.
I totally agree with you here, According to Greg McKeown the author of the book called Essentialism the majority of things in life are completely UNIMPORTANT and only a few things truly matter. It is my strong opinion that playing with kids, investing time in their development, and understanding that raising champion kids is a hard hard work that requires a lot of patience are those few things we need to be focusing on instead of being upset about how clean the house is for example. Have you read the book (here is a short summary) or did you come to this conclusion by yourself? I mean, not too many people agree (but I am definitely with oyou here ) that a super clean house 24x7 is completely unimportant compared to spending quality time with kids.
I haven't heard of this book, I'll check it out!
It used to stress me out that the house is never perfect (because I was quite the clean freak prior to having kids) but now as long as a few things are kept up with daily (laundry not piled up TOO much, dishesn, and my countertops tidy....those are my main things) then I can pretty well roll with the rest.
I used to spend most of my time at home (I work PT) cleaning and playing catch up, and telling my kids 'just s minute' or 'hold on, I'm busy.' One day it just kind of hit me that I'll blink and they'll be grown. The mess will be there tomorrow, regardless, but they'll be one day bigger. And how must it feel to them to have mom constantly saying, essentially, 'I'm too busy bc cleanliness is way more important than you.' So I've tried to really change that. And they're happier, I'm happier, and I feel like I'm pouring more into their lives than I was say a year ago. It's worth leaving the mess for tomorrow, that's for sure! :) | |
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Member
Posts: 14
| MOGirl07 - 2019-02-02 9:43 PM
So I've tried to really change that. And they're happier, I'm happier, and I feel like I'm pouring more into their lives than I was say a year ago. It's worth leaving the mess for tomorrow, that's for sure! :)
What a great story!
Another amazing book that can wake quite a few people up is called: The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying.
It might be unsettling to read for some people as some heart-breaking stories are shared but gosh...
It definitely puts things into perspective making you want live your life with passion and spend time on things that truly matter in life! | |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Gator Bug - 2019-02-02 9:36 PM
r_beau - 2019-02-02 8:25 PM My two are 20 months apart .... and the younger one is just coming up on 1 year old. Yeah, it's crazy sometimes but I figure we already have the house baby-proofed. Might as well get'r done! LOL. It hard to choose some nights between working with the horses (I board) and coming home, but I still love them to death anyway. I know you love them beyond whatever is out there. But it has to be very hard and I sincerely applaud you for that.
You are a WAY bigger person than I am.
Because if I could have had kids, I would have sucked as a parent and they would have been in therapy.
You can say that a lot of kids are products of 'selfish' parents. Because people were selfish and had kids cause they thought they needed to and the kids are screwed up. Seen it, been there, done that. Got the 'Tee-shirt' type of thing. I have had long talks and talked to Moms.
I am applauding you for your choice/no choice and may God bless you for doing it. Cause God knows, I couldn't have done it even IF I could have kids.
I take Mother's Day very seriously with my Mom.
I absolutely do not think you would have sucked as a momma. . . You would have raised kids that were taught right from wrong, educated, to think for themselves, and to respect the world we live in  | |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | MOGirl07 - 2019-02-02 9:43 PM
RomanK - 2019-02-02 9:29 PM
MOGirl07 - 2019-01-30 7:45 AM My house is NEVER clean anymore. It drives me bananas but I'm with you, I'd rather be playing with my kids after work than cleaning.
I totally agree with you here, According to Greg McKeown the author of the book called Essentialism the majority of things in life are completely UNIMPORTANT and only a few things truly matter. It is my strong opinion that playing with kids, investing time in their development, and understanding that raising champion kids is a hard hard work that requires a lot of patience are those few things we need to be focusing on instead of being upset about how clean the house is for example. Have you read the book (here is a short summary) or did you come to this conclusion by yourself? I mean, not too many people agree (but I am definitely with oyou here ) that a super clean house 24x7 is completely unimportant compared to spending quality time with kids.
I haven't heard of this book, I'll check it out!
It used to stress me out that the house is never perfect (because I was quite the clean freak prior to having kids ) but now as long as a few things are kept up with daily (laundry not piled up TOO much, dishesn, and my countertops tidy....those are my main things ) then I can pretty well roll with the rest.
I used to spend most of my time at home (I work PT ) cleaning and playing catch up, and telling my kids 'just s minute' or 'hold on, I'm busy.' One day it just kind of hit me that I'll blink and they'll be grown. The mess will be there tomorrow, regardless, but they'll be one day bigger. And how must it feel to them to have mom constantly saying, essentially, 'I'm too busy bc cleanliness is way more important than you.' So I've tried to really change that. And they're happier, I'm happier, and I feel like I'm pouring more into their lives than I was say a year ago. It's worth leaving the mess for tomorrow, that's for sure! : )
This made me smile thru some tears. If only more mommas felt this way. . . | |
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Regular
Posts: 89
| My kids are 10 yrs apart almost to the day. I thought I was through after our son and was so thankful and blessed to have him at 30. Then at 40 I had our daughter. I think there are pros and cons to both sides of the coin but I'm thankful that I had the time to spend one on one when they were babies/toddlers and even now. And I could not ask for a better big brother for my daughter or a better little sister for him. She was at all his sporting events and believe you me there were many she was his biggest cheerleader... When him and his long term girlfriend broke up she refuses even now to go and eat at her former fav restaurant because she still works there. Then when she wanted a new pony b/c his/hers was old he basically bought it for her. I was worried that they wouldn't be close because of the age gap but that was the furthest thing from the truth. I wouldn't do it any different. But I see my sisters whose kid are about 2yrs apart, and sometimes she seems frazzled but I see the benefits to that side too. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | whoapony07 - 2019-02-03 6:44 AM
My kids are 10 yrs apart almost to the day. I thought I was through after our son and was so thankful and blessed to have him at 30. Then at 40 I had our daughter. I think there are pros and cons to both sides of the coin but I'm thankful that I had the time to spend one on one when they were babies/toddlers and even now. And I could not ask for a better big brother for my daughter or a better little sister for him. She was at all his sporting events and believe you me there were many she was his biggest cheerleader... When him and his long term girlfriend broke up she refuses even now to go and eat at her former fav restaurant because she still works there. Then when she wanted a new pony b/c his/hers was old he basically bought it for her. I was worried that they wouldn't be close because of the age gap but that was the furthest thing from the truth. I wouldn't do it any different. But I see my sisters whose kid are about 2yrs apart, and sometimes she seems frazzled but I see the benefits to that side too.
That’s so sweet! I had our girl at 30 and we’re wanting to wait a while before having another one so that’s encouraging that it worked so well for you. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1035
Location: TN | Chandler's Mom - 2019-02-02 10:58 PM
MOGirl07 - 2019-02-02 9:43 PM
RomanK - 2019-02-02 9:29 PM
MOGirl07 - 2019-01-30 7:45 AM My house is NEVER clean anymore. It drives me bananas but I'm with you, I'd rather be playing with my kids after work than cleaning.
I totally agree with you here, According to Greg McKeown the author of the book called Essentialism the majority of things in life are completely UNIMPORTANT and only a few things truly matter. It is my strong opinion that playing with kids, investing time in their development, and understanding that raising champion kids is a hard hard work that requires a lot of patience are those few things we need to be focusing on instead of being upset about how clean the house is for example. Have you read the book (here is a short summary) or did you come to this conclusion by yourself? I mean, not too many people agree (but I am definitely with oyou here ) that a super clean house 24x7 is completely unimportant compared to spending quality time with kids.
I haven't heard of this book, I'll check it out!
It used to stress me out that the house is never perfect (because I was quite the clean freak prior to having kids ) but now as long as a few things are kept up with daily (laundry not piled up TOO much, dishesn, and my countertops tidy....those are my main things ) then I can pretty well roll with the rest.
I used to spend most of my time at home (I work PT ) cleaning and playing catch up, and telling my kids 'just s minute' or 'hold on, I'm busy.' One day it just kind of hit me that I'll blink and they'll be grown. The mess will be there tomorrow, regardless, but they'll be one day bigger. And how must it feel to them to have mom constantly saying, essentially, 'I'm too busy bc cleanliness is way more important than you.' So I've tried to really change that. And they're happier, I'm happier, and I feel like I'm pouring more into their lives than I was say a year ago. It's worth leaving the mess for tomorrow, that's for sure! : )
This made me smile thru some tears. If only more mommas felt this way. . .
YESSS, MOGirl this hit home. Our babies are not babies for long enough. | |
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Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | KatieMac88 - 2019-02-03 10:32 AM
Chandler's Mom - 2019-02-02 10:58 PM
MOGirl07 - 2019-02-02 9:43 PM
RomanK - 2019-02-02 9:29 PM
MOGirl07 - 2019-01-30 7:45 AM My house is NEVER clean anymore. It drives me bananas but I'm with you, I'd rather be playing with my kids after work than cleaning.
I totally agree with you here, According to Greg McKeown the author of the book called Essentialism the majority of things in life are completely UNIMPORTANT and only a few things truly matter. It is my strong opinion that playing with kids, investing time in their development, and understanding that raising champion kids is a hard hard work that requires a lot of patience are those few things we need to be focusing on instead of being upset about how clean the house is for example. Have you read the book (here is a short summary) or did you come to this conclusion by yourself? I mean, not too many people agree (but I am definitely with oyou here ) that a super clean house 24x7 is completely unimportant compared to spending quality time with kids.
I haven't heard of this book, I'll check it out!
It used to stress me out that the house is never perfect (because I was quite the clean freak prior to having kids ) but now as long as a few things are kept up with daily (laundry not piled up TOO much, dishesn, and my countertops tidy....those are my main things ) then I can pretty well roll with the rest.
I used to spend most of my time at home (I work PT ) cleaning and playing catch up, and telling my kids 'just s minute' or 'hold on, I'm busy.' One day it just kind of hit me that I'll blink and they'll be grown. The mess will be there tomorrow, regardless, but they'll be one day bigger. And how must it feel to them to have mom constantly saying, essentially, 'I'm too busy bc cleanliness is way more important than you.' So I've tried to really change that. And they're happier, I'm happier, and I feel like I'm pouring more into their lives than I was say a year ago. It's worth leaving the mess for tomorrow, that's for sure! : )
This made me smile thru some tears. If only more mommas felt this way. . .
YESSS, MOGirl this hit home. Our babies are not babies for long enough.
It's crazy. When my 1st was born, and I was dealing with the exhaustion and trying to nurse and all that, the days felt SO long. And I've blinked and she's 4 and a half. I don't know how it happened! | |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | MOGirl07 - 2019-02-04 9:12 AM
KatieMac88 - 2019-02-03 10:32 AM
Chandler's Mom - 2019-02-02 10:58 PM
MOGirl07 - 2019-02-02 9:43 PM
RomanK - 2019-02-02 9:29 PM
MOGirl07 - 2019-01-30 7:45 AM My house is NEVER clean anymore. It drives me bananas but I'm with you, I'd rather be playing with my kids after work than cleaning.
I totally agree with you here, According to Greg McKeown the author of the book called Essentialism the majority of things in life are completely UNIMPORTANT and only a few things truly matter. It is my strong opinion that playing with kids, investing time in their development, and understanding that raising champion kids is a hard hard work that requires a lot of patience are those few things we need to be focusing on instead of being upset about how clean the house is for example. Have you read the book (here is a short summary) or did you come to this conclusion by yourself? I mean, not too many people agree (but I am definitely with oyou here ) that a super clean house 24x7 is completely unimportant compared to spending quality time with kids.
I haven't heard of this book, I'll check it out!
It used to stress me out that the house is never perfect (because I was quite the clean freak prior to having kids ) but now as long as a few things are kept up with daily (laundry not piled up TOO much, dishesn, and my countertops tidy....those are my main things ) then I can pretty well roll with the rest.
I used to spend most of my time at home (I work PT ) cleaning and playing catch up, and telling my kids 'just s minute' or 'hold on, I'm busy.' One day it just kind of hit me that I'll blink and they'll be grown. The mess will be there tomorrow, regardless, but they'll be one day bigger. And how must it feel to them to have mom constantly saying, essentially, 'I'm too busy bc cleanliness is way more important than you.' So I've tried to really change that. And they're happier, I'm happier, and I feel like I'm pouring more into their lives than I was say a year ago. It's worth leaving the mess for tomorrow, that's for sure! : )
This made me smile thru some tears. If only more mommas felt this way. . .
YESSS, MOGirl this hit home. Our babies are not babies for long enough.
It's crazy. When my 1st was born, and I was dealing with the exhaustion and trying to nurse and all that, the days felt SO long. And I've blinked and she's 4 and a half. I don't know how it happened!
Wait til you blink----and they're 21. . . . | |
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Regular
Posts: 89
| Chandler's Mom - 2019-02-04 7:08 PM
MOGirl07 - 2019-02-04 9:12 AM
KatieMac88 - 2019-02-03 10:32 AM
Chandler's Mom - 2019-02-02 10:58 PM
MOGirl07 - 2019-02-02 9:43 PM
RomanK - 2019-02-02 9:29 PM
MOGirl07 - 2019-01-30 7:45 AM My house is NEVER clean anymore. It drives me bananas but I'm with you, I'd rather be playing with my kids after work than cleaning.
I totally agree with you here, According to Greg McKeown the author of the book called Essentialism the majority of things in life are completely UNIMPORTANT and only a few things truly matter. It is my strong opinion that playing with kids, investing time in their development, and understanding that raising champion kids is a hard hard work that requires a lot of patience are those few things we need to be focusing on instead of being upset about how clean the house is for example. Have you read the book (here is a short summary) or did you come to this conclusion by yourself? I mean, not too many people agree (but I am definitely with oyou here ) that a super clean house 24x7 is completely unimportant compared to spending quality time with kids.
I haven't heard of this book, I'll check it out!
It used to stress me out that the house is never perfect (because I was quite the clean freak prior to having kids ) but now as long as a few things are kept up with daily (laundry not piled up TOO much, dishesn, and my countertops tidy....those are my main things ) then I can pretty well roll with the rest.
I used to spend most of my time at home (I work PT ) cleaning and playing catch up, and telling my kids 'just s minute' or 'hold on, I'm busy.' One day it just kind of hit me that I'll blink and they'll be grown. The mess will be there tomorrow, regardless, but they'll be one day bigger. And how must it feel to them to have mom constantly saying, essentially, 'I'm too busy bc cleanliness is way more important than you.' So I've tried to really change that. And they're happier, I'm happier, and I feel like I'm pouring more into their lives than I was say a year ago. It's worth leaving the mess for tomorrow, that's for sure! : )
This made me smile thru some tears. If only more mommas felt this way. . .
YESSS, MOGirl this hit home. Our babies are not babies for long enough.
It's crazy. When my 1st was born, and I was dealing with the exhaustion and trying to nurse and all that, the days felt SO long. And I've blinked and she's 4 and a half. I don't know how it happened!
Wait til you blink----and they're 21. . . .
I know right Chandler's mom, my oldest is 21 and I've been going through stuff here at the house, and I came across his 1st day of kindergarten picture I just about cried it's back on the fridge where it belongs. They grow up so fast, cherish all the time with them while you can. I catch a lot of flack for taking/picking up my daughter from school from my coworkers, but it's time I can spend one on one with her :) | |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | whoapony07 - 2019-02-04 7:17 PM
Chandler's Mom - 2019-02-04 7:08 PM
MOGirl07 - 2019-02-04 9:12 AM
KatieMac88 - 2019-02-03 10:32 AM
Chandler's Mom - 2019-02-02 10:58 PM
MOGirl07 - 2019-02-02 9:43 PM
RomanK - 2019-02-02 9:29 PM
MOGirl07 - 2019-01-30 7:45 AM My house is NEVER clean anymore. It drives me bananas but I'm with you, I'd rather be playing with my kids after work than cleaning.
I totally agree with you here, According to Greg McKeown the author of the book called Essentialism the majority of things in life are completely UNIMPORTANT and only a few things truly matter. It is my strong opinion that playing with kids, investing time in their development, and understanding that raising champion kids is a hard hard work that requires a lot of patience are those few things we need to be focusing on instead of being upset about how clean the house is for example. Have you read the book (here is a short summary) or did you come to this conclusion by yourself? I mean, not too many people agree (but I am definitely with oyou here ) that a super clean house 24x7 is completely unimportant compared to spending quality time with kids.
I haven't heard of this book, I'll check it out!
It used to stress me out that the house is never perfect (because I was quite the clean freak prior to having kids ) but now as long as a few things are kept up with daily (laundry not piled up TOO much, dishesn, and my countertops tidy....those are my main things ) then I can pretty well roll with the rest.
I used to spend most of my time at home (I work PT ) cleaning and playing catch up, and telling my kids 'just s minute' or 'hold on, I'm busy.' One day it just kind of hit me that I'll blink and they'll be grown. The mess will be there tomorrow, regardless, but they'll be one day bigger. And how must it feel to them to have mom constantly saying, essentially, 'I'm too busy bc cleanliness is way more important than you.' So I've tried to really change that. And they're happier, I'm happier, and I feel like I'm pouring more into their lives than I was say a year ago. It's worth leaving the mess for tomorrow, that's for sure! : )
This made me smile thru some tears. If only more mommas felt this way. . .
YESSS, MOGirl this hit home. Our babies are not babies for long enough.
It's crazy. When my 1st was born, and I was dealing with the exhaustion and trying to nurse and all that, the days felt SO long. And I've blinked and she's 4 and a half. I don't know how it happened!
Wait til you blink----and they're 21. . . .
I know right Chandler's mom, my oldest is 21 and I've been going through stuff here at the house, and I came across his 1st day of kindergarten picture I just about cried it's back on the fridge where it belongs. They grow up so fast, cherish all the time with them while you can. I catch a lot of flack for taking/picking up my daughter from school from my coworkers, but it's time I can spend one on one with her : )
C and I never fail to hang up the phone or part ways with an "I love you," and I've often wondered what his friends or the people he's around think of a 21 year old and his momma doing that. But he's never shied away from it. And every night ends with an "I love you and say your prayers."
I know exactly what you mean about the keepsakes---I have a picture he drew when he was around 6. . . It's of me after I'd had a run in with a rifle scope while running birds---he has the blood dripping down my face and everything!! That picture is more priceless to me than a Van Gogh. | |
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Age gap between your kids