Thinking about doing something completely different with horses. I've wanted to barrel race for a very long time, I worked on my horse a lot and got him sorta kinda patterned but he or I, by no means, is what I feel .. ready to do it.. like really do it.. no fault of his because I've been very inconsistent with riding, hauling ... when Jacob got sick, I didnt hardly ride at all that year. Now hes healthy but I'm just dragging my feet .. this is going to sound weird but sometimes I feel too old to be out there running against the locals. (I'm 43) all the races around here seem to have super nice designer horses with young girls running them. Here I am with my grade (paint) old roping horse and then I have that 4yr old cowbred horse who has fallen thru the cracks with training... he needs so much work and I dont have the confidence to do it myself. I'm not really in the position to send him off to the trainers either right now. Sure, hes broke ok, my daughter likes to ride him occasionally but shes just not going to go any further with it and that's ok.  He will lope around nicely but that's all he knows lol! I literally have no horse friends nearby to haul or even ride with. I'm just in a total funk right now. I dont want to rope anymore either. I do know that I want horses and I do want to ride and get into something, Lord knows, I need it after everything.. my hubby is supportive of whatever I want to do, he encourages me to get into something for myself, whatever it may be. I almost thought about selling out and focusing on my kids sports but my husband said I'd be miserable without the horses and that I need something to do that I enjoy. I just dont think I've got the barrel passion anymore. Cant quite put my finger on it. I've been riding more lately and I do enjoy it, a lot. I want to be competitive but not sure at what! If that makes any sense at all! I've thought about selling the 4yr old and buying a nice been there done that barrel horse I could actually go have fun on but I think my daughter would be upset, he is, after all, her horse shes had since he was a yearling. I cant bring myself to sell my rope horse. Hes gentle enough for my kids to play on when they want to but competitive enough for me or my hubby to go rope on if the urge ever arises. Hes 14 this year. If my boys ever decide they want to ride or rope, he would be perfect for them. I'm kinda rambling here, typing my thoughts lol. Sorry for the long whine... but hopefully will get some advice or some idea of what I need to do here. Just ride and enjoy it for a while, get the younger horse more broke, while just enjoying my older horses experience....

My advice.... take the pressure off!!! Who cares what so and so is riding or how they are doing. Stay in your lane and take that out of the equation. I had more fun on my 2d/3d horse than I did on some high-powered horses. He was safe, consistent and we got to go have fun. I dont know your area but we have SEVERAL organizations to compete in, some more expensive than others, some more competitive than others. Also a great place to meet someone near you. I ride long 95% of the time and sometimes I get bored but I always enjoy it once I am on and going. 

As far as the young horse, no shame in not wanting to or not having the ability to get him where he needs to be. Something to talk to your daughter about. Allowing him to reach his full potential. 

In the meantime, try out some other disciplines. Maybe go take some lessons and just get back out there with some support. Horses are supposed to be fun and you sound very indecisive (no intended to be offensive). The indecisiveness makes me think you should try some things before you decide you're done with xyz.

Last piece of advice and disclaimer, i dont have kids. However, most if not all of my friends do and so many of them have given up their passions and as much as they love their kids and supporting them, they've also lost sight of themselves too. I believe there is a balance. Its amazing IMO watching a Mom chasing something that sets their soul on fire.

I started out as a kid at breed shows doing all-around events -- then moved into high school rodeo where I concentrated on roping, barrels and goat-tying -- then off to college rodeo where I was still focused on those events. During all those years I had three super nice competitive barrel horses-- then I married and backed down from horses to help raise my two young stepsons.  Then I decided to ride again and pulled my old rodeo horse out of the pasture -- off I went into open competiton at breed shows -- reining, speed events, roping -- then I retired that horse and hung up my saddle again concentrating on my career -- then in my late 40s I decided to go again with a super nice all-around horse I lucked into,  and did all the all-around at big breed shows again -- showmanship, trail, horsemanship, etc.... and now in my early 60s I have another nice horse that will do all-around, but I am exploring the world of ranch events and the extreme cowboy racing.  And I LOVE going to horsemanship clinics.....  

Don't limit yourself.  Enjoy horses however you wish.  Horses are absolutely no fun when you feel weighed down by pressures to do this or that -- working and riding your horse should always be fun and full of joy.  If you have no joy in barrel racing, explore something else.  Be happy!  :)

Thank you so much! Oh gosh yes, I'm extremely indecisive when it comes to my "horse goals" instead of just focusing on enjoying them because I truly do enjoy and love them.. sometimes admittedly I have to drag my butt to the barn and saddle up but once I'm on and riding I'm completely happy and in my element. I like the idea of some basic horsemanship clinics. I grew up riding hunter jumpers and competed hardcore until I was in my 20s so I'm just stuck in that mindset that I MUST pick a discipline and go on. As far as that little 4 yr old goes and I say little, I mean little, hes cutting bred and a wee lil thing... buuuut, hes fun to ride, he rides around like a reiner ... low headed and can drag his rear end into a slide stop but other than that he knows nothing. Hes willing, I'll give him that. My kid likes to ride him maybe once or twice a week and that's it. I should be riding him more because I truly enjoy him when I do it. 

Doesn't sound like a bad idea for you to buy something that's been there done that, where you don't feel like you have to train, and you can go have fun! 

To answer your question, sort of.  I have always wanted to barrel race, always wanted barrel horses, when I didn't have a barrel horse I trained it to do the best it could do in whatever discipline that was, but I never questioned that I wanted to run barrels. However, I have always also enjoyed doing other things with horses, like open shows and the english classes.  I've always thought that was fun to do and a nice change.  

I also think you need to absolutely not compare yourself to your competitors.  Do your thing, enjoy your horse, do the best you can do for yourself and your horse and don't look at what other people are doing.  Someone will always appear to have it better. If the horses you have make you happy, then enjoy the happiness.  Who cares if they aren't designer bred? 

The only time a deadline matters with a horse is if you want to futurity. If you don't want to futurity, they are just like any other barrel horse prospect. When they are ready, they are ready... on your timeline. They can still enter everything else a barrel horse can enter. You aren't really missing out on anything, especially if futurities werent in your plan anyway.  

Cool think about life, you can start over as many times as you want. Jumpers, sure. Barrels, heck year. Reiners, why not. Cutting, lets go... teach your horse a trick. Do a competitive trail class. Enter ranch riding. No one makes the rules about this besides you! 

You can reinvent your journey whenever... find a way for your to enjoy it. I do think its normal to be tired and have to coax yourself out to the barn sometimes to ride, as long as once you're there you enjoy it. 

I stoped going to barrel races just got bored with them without all my running buddies that I use to haul with.. But when I was doing alot with my horses I went to team pennings, open horse shows and went on alot of trail rides on the King Ranch and Kenndy ranch and there were quite a few rides up in the hill country, those trail rides were so relaxing and just a blast, got to meet all kinds of people..

Do whatever it is that your heart enjoys. Everything else is minor details. There have been a few times I have thought about switching disciplines, I thought about getting into reining, dressage, or cowboy mounted shooting, but I always go back to barrel racing. I have reached out and taken multiple lessons in those disciplines, and always think about and do apply what I have learned from them to my barrel horses.

I love how much barrel racing demands of a rider and how challenging it is! I really think it is one of the harder disciplines that requires top notch riding and training.

Don’t sweat the “designer” bloodlines and young girls. My husband got me into barrel racing on a cutting bred horse we got for 500 bucks. That horse went on to place in the 1D nationally. (My BHW name if you wish to google his stats)Don’t let a bias you have on yourself or your horse keep you from getting out and having fun. 

And if it isn’t barrels you crave just get out and ride and enjoy the horses! Whatever it is, it all starts with just getting out there! I personally love training and trail riding.

With all that you have dealt with this past year, you are certainly entitled to change your mind or feel like trying any and everything you want!   You just enjoy you and your horses--whatever you want to do with them, I say go have fun!   Hugs 

This is all great advice and insight! I've been beating myself up mentally the last few months over this, with barrels it just feels forced with the 2 horses I have as options right now. I know any horse can run around barrels but i cant say that I'm enjoying the process with my horse hes not conformationally built, per say, for it. Hes super butt high and quite frankly it kills my back trying to turn him in tight circles,  he cant help it. I love everything else about him and I get along with him great, hes my go to when I just want to hop on and go relax and ride.

If it just feels forced, then definitely take a step back and evaluate why you think you "need" to run barrels. Is there a reason why the old rope horse isn't still roped on? If you haven't tried it already, I say dabble in some breakaway roping! Go trail riding- that's good for everyone's souls. There are many, many disciplines to choose from, and even if you try a new one for a couple lessons/shows/etc and decide it's not for you, at least you tried something new and let your mind and body take a break from the turmoil that barrels is causing you. Then try something else, and so on. You can't beat yourself up over this indecisiveness, it is human nature to question. I say start by taking baby steps towards different disciplines, see what you like and don't like, and go from there. There is no right or wrong answer here, this is your life and you should be able to enjoy it any way you choose. Like Chandler's Mom said, you have been through so much, now it's time to find something that thrills your soul.

Do what you feel is best. For you it may be doing something else with them for awhile. I was lucky enough to ride with a few trainers in high school and college and got to experience the show side of the horse world. I can tell you, its not for me. I playdayed a bunch when I had younger horses that needed to just go to see the sights and experience everything. Ive sorted, Ive penned, Ive went out and worked cows in the pasture. Ive done trail competitions and the one thing I come back to is running barrels. It has to be fun or its not worth doing. Right now my little 3D mare and I are having a blast. I am actually taking her and my old mare to Glen Rose this weekend. I only run my old mare a handful of times a year and last year she won a nice check there. 

If you want to keep competing, find some playdays and go. The ones Ive been to are fun and theres no pressure. Plus entry fees arent that bad ;)

My good horse got hurt. My colt was gone to be sold and I was burnt the heck out. Sucker in the dirt and I didn't want to pick it up. So I bought a cheap dressage saddle on the Facebooks, put out some letters, and turned my retired gelding into a very low level dressage pony. He always was my favorite horse to ride but his body just can't hold up to turning that hard anymore. 

I never made it to a show - those clothes are pricy! - but it was fun to play pretend in my little barrel patch. The hardest part was getting him to turn up centerline without taking off to the first barrel

Do whatever you want. If running barrels is not paying the bills, you have the freedom. Go chase some cows or jump some sticks or make your old grumpy QH flick his toes like a warmblood. It's supposed to be fun. 

Things change. That's the only thing you can count on!!

I bought Love thinking that would change my enthusiasm level for barrel racing. Well, sort of did and sort of not. I've had a few physical issues and other life things that have interfered with my enjoyment level of riding at all, and especially race day body usage. When I took Demon down to my trainer in early May we talked and I made the decision to leave Love with him for the remainder of 2019 and all of 2020 to get some good results on her to help with marketability on her foals. Three weeks later Zan bled through lasix at a show. So, two events happened that ended my riding all together for now. I also finally went to the doc about my back issues to find a very strange muscle/nerve bundle in my mid/lower back needs some PT and lots of exercises (which do NOT include riding) to make better. 

Being one to try to spin stuff positive - I have the time now, with no pressure to keep horses in shape, to heal myself. I think I might start enjoying riding again if I don't hurt like heck every time I get on? So, when I am ready to ride again in August or so I can hopefully leg Zan back up and go to a few one day shows and see how he does. One more bleed through lasix at a one-run-and-done event and he's done for good. I am also starting a new 'thing' and am spending all my time preparing to be a vendor at the 3/4 day shows instead of a competitor. First show as a vendor will be the Colonial Supershow in August!

I do hope to return to barrels. I hope Zan's issue is the stalls and dusty environment at the big shows. He's been so Mr. Consistent over the past 10 years and has won checks at all but a small handful (5-6) shows and knocked only 2 barrels in all those years. Demon is not going to be my horse, and Biscuit, tho BIG for a yearling, will not be ready for 3-4 years. 

Do what makes you happiest. Always the best plan.

Thank you all so much for the advice. The more I think about it the more I'm not wanting the barrels anymore. I want to ride and enjoy my horses. If I had the money right now I'd be sending off the 4yr old to this guy I know who is a reining trainer, i think he would put a super nice handle on him. I was thinking about asking him if he gives lessons as well. There is also a really nice gentleman right down the road from me who is big into cutting around these parts, maybe he gives lessons too. All I can do is ask! So over the last 2 years with my son getting sick, then going thru treatments, in and out of the hospital, I managed to pack on some serious pounds and I've been working really hard to get them off. Lots of weight training and cardio and changed my diet, completely gave up alcohol(best thing I've done) I've gotten almost 30lbs off my frame and my back pain is pretty much gone so I have been able to enjoy riding again, there was a time where I was in so much pain I was living on muscle relaxers. I can tell a huge difference when I ride. Which makes me really happy. I'm still not at my goal weight but I'm definitely closer to it than I have been in quite a while. So I was lacking a lot of confidence when it came to pretty much doing anything .. my confidence level is slowly getting better. This is all such a mental dance for me! 

Even thou I'm not hauling anywhere I still enjoy my horses and never will be without any, I just do my thing, I feed twice a day every day do the doctoring when it needs to be done, love on him, still feed them the best way, I just cant be without them, they have a home for life with me as long as I'm here. Maybe one day the barrel bug will bite me again and if that does happen I will be perpared, lol..But for now I'm just happy to do some trail riding

I think you got some good advice, trying something like penning, sorting, mounted shooting, ranch riding, etc. and have some good ideas, taking lessons for example. I understand what you feel body wise. I have lost about 30 lbs so far and have quite a bit more to go. I am hoping it will help me actually be able to ride and keep up with some of these nice prospects I have been raising lol. But lots of stuff is fun to do on a horse. Heck, maybe even a local drill team might be fun and that let's you be social too.

Jump of the porch and go do whatever you want.  If it were me I'd put some feelers out for some riding groups near me and go to a couple of events (trail rides, team penning, whatever) to see if I could meet some new riding buddies.  I also think you should start riding and patterning that four year old.  You arent going to hurt him.  Get him trotting & loping a decent pattern and then take him to a clinic or trainer for help stepping up.  You are not going to ruin him, trust yourself a little.

While I still love barrel racing, I've discovered that I love watching it more so than competing!!  I'm currently discovering different trails around our area and the National Forest - and I think I would really enjoy camping  with the ponies and some like minded women - horses, friends, nature and nice relaxing trail rides....  Sounds like an amazing weekend to me!! Anyway - life changes, people change and interests change.  I know I'm getting older and I just want to really enjoy life, I've spent too much time just working and paying bills and stressing over the small stuff. 

My husband asked me one time when we first met "What do you do for fun?" (I didn't have a horse at the time) It took me a week or so to answer him, cuz all I did was work, come home cook, clean, go to bed and do it all again the next day.  So he bought me a horse..... and life is amazing!!  I just enjoy her.  That's all. No pressure to "do" anything.  And yes, I do haul to some races and just ride her around, the exposure is good for her - he thinks I'm nuts, but whatever.....

My hubby keeps trying to encourage me to get on that 4yr old and pattern him too. I will say hes crazy athletic and a speed demon when he runs in the pasture playing. He tells me to have a little more faith in myself when it comes to training on one lol! I think I just need to get out of my own way sometimes. I dont think it will hurt that horse one bit to learn a little bit of everything. Hes got loping perfect circles down pretty good lol! 

So how do you go about finding a person to go take lessons with? Word of mouth, which for me  Is a little tough because I dont know anyone really, that's local. I'm in Central Texas,  think Belton/Temple area... if I was looking for someone to go take a lesson or 2 or get more direction on barrels so I'm not completely overwhelmed at the thought. Maybe just getting out of my "arena" riding somewhere else under some direction will light a fire ...