I need help.  Not for me.   For my students.  Maybe some for me, I guess.   

In the past school year, I had 2 students in my class either attempt or threaten suicide.  A couple others talked about not being around anymore but snapped out of it quickly with some chats. 

School starts Monday.  Today one came in today to check out his computer and left a note that was close to a goodbye letter and then left the building.  Long story short, he was in contact with his mom and was found ok and calmed down. 

Can anyone direct me to more resources to give to the kids besides the suicide hotline? Iowa is few and far between for docs and counselors for mental health. 

Can anyone offer resources to keep me from heartbreak and worry over these kids who aren’t mine, but are in my heart?  This whole deal just sucks.  Not sure how long I’ll be able to continue in this profession with this stress and turmoil. 

  Your local church may have help available.Prayers for these children, a school not to far from us had 8 suicides last year :(

I teach high school. I have 225 students on my roster this year. our school has a full time therapist and crisis intervention specialist. However YOU are the best resource for the kids. You will likely be the first line of intervention and possibly the ONLY line of intervention. I guess it comes with the job In a lot of ways  I have had to sit with a student for several hours until CPS arrived. 

I am pretty cruel. 

I would just tell them to grow up or get on with it.

Because in 10 more years no one will care. 

We need to quit coddling these millenials 

I would ask about any meds they are on or if there have been any dosage changes recently.  So many kids these days are on some pretty powerful drugs and I don't think we really understand how some of these medications affect a developing brain.  

Please get with your school resource officer and local police/EMS. They might know of someone in the area that can do some work with your kids. I understand that rural areas have a harder time of keeping someone in the district that can provide these services. We're lucky that we have so many retiring in our "out of the way" area and they've been donating time to our children. (Have a friend that does this in Sutherland Springs; the site of the church shooting. Those poor families are still living thru the hell that man caused.) 

You have a powerful advocate in your barn, your horse. Have those troubled students out let them brush your horses tell them to lean their ear against the chest and listen for the heart beat. Tell them, the beat goes on in their chest. Just like the horse we beat because we've been given a gift of life. Help them to understand that we need to have goals in life. We set small goals and life goals to put forth work toward. Sometimes, breaking it down on the simplest of terms helps one to have more beats go on in their life. 

I look at suicide a lot differently since the funniest man on the planet, Robin Williams, killed himself. His friends and family tried very hard to help him. Mental illness and depression are definitely illnesses. There should be some counselor at school who can help. Obviously it is not a problem that you outgrow  

Suicide threats should never be taken lighty, I have a friend that lost his son to suicide and know of another one that was in the family. 

My former hairdresser's son hung himself about 6 months ago.  He was in his 20s.   Would have never ever guessed this would happen in this family.   Last week a girl I knew from high school (and knew her family fairly well), in her early 40s I believe, hung herself.  Had at least 2 children, which she had asked her half sister to take and raise a couple of years ago.   The date she did it was 1 day different from when her father shot himself several years ago.  Chan sent me an obituary from a 20 year old young man that worked for a farmer C knows; he shot himself 3 weeks ago today.  C said it was depression.   I just don't know what's wrong with our "kids" today that they feel death is the only way out.  I can remember after my wreck (it was 33 years ago Friday, I had just turned 17), being so down and depressed--felt like my life was over--and just wanting to hide in the house. . . But never crossed my mind to take THAT way out.   I cried so hard over the 20 year old boy I couldn't breath.   I didn't know him, saw him drive past our farm 1 time, but my heart broke thinking how I could deal if that was Chandler. . . And what his mother (father has passed away) was going thru.   I surely don't know the answers, but this seems to be an epidemic.  

Teaching is tough, and teaching in a digital age is even harder. I am in my tenth year of teaching and have had several students attempt suicide. My hardest year was two years ago where I had two students attempt, and another two students come to me about two different sex abuse issues that happened outside of school. I was very disappointed in one of the cases with how admin and counselor handled the situation, so I did go behind their back and report it to our school resource officer, since it was not taken seriously enough. From there the second time I had anything reported to me I went straight to the school resource officer.

About 4 years ago I lost my father in law to suicide two days after Christmas. Watching what my husband went through was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through and my childhood was not an easy one.

First off, love them unconditionally. Let them know you love them unconditionally. But also reach out to your resources. Contact parents, contact school counselor, and  reach out to school resource officer. 

If these are not resources for you, I would contact the police department and get advice from them on how you should proceed. Another resource is going to google and checking out “mental health clubs.” I am wanting to start one a time my school, and came across some great resources there.

The hardest part in all of this, is that sometimes our students need the kind of help we aren’t capable of giving. That’s when you just listen, and lean on those around you (fellow teachers, family etc), and report report report to cover yourself as well. 

Since kids can’t even unplug these days at any given moment something from the internet can set them off, making mental illness that much more of an epidemic, and kids so much more volatile.

And lastly, you also have to take care of you. You can’t be helpful to others if you aren’t mentally rejuvenated as well. If you need help with more resources PM me and I can give you my work email. We could keep in touch thru email since I check it daily. Thanks for all you do for the next generation. Hardest part of our job is people really just don’t get it, unless they are in the trenches with us.

It is a thankless job.

I had a really good friend, she was shot by her husband, I was good friends during our younger years with both of them {they were getting divorce} and then he shot himself, never ever did anybody see this coming, another man {a farmer}that I knew he committed suicide when he got too far in debt, theres more but to depressing to think about and these were grown men in their early 50's, so suicide dont just hit the young its all ages. So I take a suicide threat very serious when its somone thats got problems.. 

Being a mental health professional, my first piece of advice is to not let yourself dive too deep into being a potential lifeline. Being supportive is exceptionally important, but having someone who is indeed suicidal requires someone who is TRAINED in knowing what to look for when it comes to someone who is having suicidal ideations, having the means, attempts, and commitment. The only reason why I am saying this is because as a teacher, that is not a part of your job description. You may want to help someone, but one thing I learned in undergrad by a teacher who was a Psychiatrist for 20+ years is that you cannot save everyone. There a lot of underlying reasons that could usher someone into taking their own life, and when they are at that point, there is something significantly wrong considering they are mentally bypassing the most innate human instinct.. which is to survive. 

That being said, if you do not have the correct knowledge base and training, something like that can emotionally wear you down.. especially if they do finally commit suicide. Because then you will be put in a position of asking, what could I have done? Is this my fault? Could I have done anything differently? If you said something to them, did it send them over the edge? That can send YOU into states of depression, doubt, grief ect. which may affect it, and even lead to you needing some form of therapy in order to adjust your cognitive thinking. 

Moving forward, a good resource is to dial 211. That is a national resource where if you call them, they will provide you with information and refer you to therapist, counselors, inpatient facilities, ER etc. and also give you some ideas on how to handle that situation. A couple of years ago I had intervened in a similar situation on a family member who was suicidal. Even though I couldn't go to them, I gave them the 211 number and they were able to find him a counselor, place him in inpatient and also give him some stabilization for the time being. 

I will also say that working with young kids/teenagers that are suicidal can be hard, because in the end if they are underage unless CPS is involved(which if they are called, I would highly suggest you have accurate information because you could ruin a family's life if you don't. I've seen it happen.), the parents are the ones who have to make the final decision on the individual treatment.  And if the parents are part of the problem, then generally your hands are tied and that alone can be a hard position to be in. 

Hope this helps. 

I am the director of childrens mental health services for 3 counties in Alabama. We see this way too often. Thankfully, we have a pretty good relationship with all the schools in this area and they call us whenever a student makes a threat or is showing signs. I recommend for you to read a book by Jeff Yalden called Teen Suicide: The Why Behind America's Suicide Epidemic. It is a great book and he also does podcasts. I really enjoy listening to him speak on the topic.

It’s hard reading some of these posts. This was never a problem when I was going to school. I went to school during the Cold War where we constantly had drills where they had us either go into the hallways and sit with our heads between our legs or under our desks. (Which anyone with a brain cell knew it was ridiculous. We called it going into the kiss your ass goodbye position) 

I think Facebook and social media has hurt our society more then it has helped. 24/7 news hasn’t helped either. We use to have 30 minutes of news at night.

I wish there was a magic wand to fix these kids that would allow them to be just kids growing up in the America I did.??????????????

As I can tell you have no experience with dealing with something  like this. That does not work!!! My brother took his life 6 months ago. He was no millennial  but a very successful business man. We as a society need to quit being so cruel to one another . I agree as another poster said you can’t help everyone but sometimes the small things matter the most. Whether it is bringing someone coffee when they have a rough day ahead of them or just telling them they have done a great job at something. I feel we spend more time criticizing one another then praising each other

In Texas, if you do not report students who could be suicidal there are various consequences. This also includes students who may be victims of bullying, physical abuse, sexual abuse. Realize that teachers spend more time with kids than their parents do. Often teachers pick up on that way before parents do. We are told to report these students to our counselors who are very good. 

Kids growing up today have a VERY different life from what we had. 

Chandler was really upset about the 20 year old who killed himself 3 weeks ago.  I told him you never know what someone is going thru, and you should always remember that.   Smile and speak or just wave if you're going past them in a truck.   You never know what little act can help someone or maybe make them change their mind if something like suicide is a possibility. . . . 

I taught school for 34 years, and can't stress enough how important it is to contact the parent to communicate what the student said, and to refer this student to a counselor.  Not only are you responsible for notifying the parent and appropriate school staff, but you must take caution to act as this student's teacher, not therapist.  Each time you refer any student to qualified staff, always copy to the administrative staff as well.  If the employees responsible aren't taking action, report it.  Document everything, and make copies of referrals.  

I used to feel that way until it affected me personally.  Until you have experienced being around someone close to you that is suddenly suicidal, or knew someone well who committed suicide that was totally unexpected, you have no idea.  Sometimes the ones that commit suicide are the ones that are always smiling, friendly, and helpful.  I was terrified when someone close to me was suicidal, even though they kept telling me they would never commit suicide.  A good friend said don't believe it.  She lost her son who repeatedly told her he would never commit suicide.  But then he did.  I have two good friends that lost their sons to suicide.  Both caused by relationship breakups. 

You are cruel. 

Death is permanent and these kids may or may not see that they have a future. 

In 10 years, there's a good chance their parents, their grandparents, their SOs, their kids etc. will care. 

Mental health awareness and care is not coddling. 

Thank you!  

This is the kind of advice I was looking for!