Something dawned on me recently that I guess I didn't realize was a thing before. Lots of parents are buying their kids homes. I don't mean helping with rent while in school or something like that. I mean, all out purchasing them a permenant home. Totally their business! I am not trying to dispute that.  I just find it interesting from a socialogical standpoint. Is this a new age parenting trend or has it always been?

I know several of them that have amazing places that was given to them by their parents or grandparents.  I often envy them but figure they are probably responsible for the outrageous property tax.  We live on 16 acres that's owned by my in laws... my sister in law also lives on it with her family so its shared. Not the best situation but we make it work. Hopefully someday we will either own all of it or just move on. Until then, we just make do. I have my horses, a barn and a nice big yard for my dogs so I'm not complaining too much. 

I know a couple families that bought houses for their kids to live in while they went to college. Both of them rented the extra bedrooms out to other students at a pretty low fee. After the kids graduated one just kept the house for rental property and the other sold it. I dont really care what people do for their kids. It’s none of my business.  When my son saves up enough money to build a house we will give him an acre or two for his house. He works hard and I want my grandson out in the country, not cooped up in an apartment. 

We won't be buying C a house when he and LB marry next year, but they will be given some acres at the north end of my pasture.   

Whatever happened to making it on your own? My parents didn’t help me with squat. I put my self thru flight school and became a commercial pilot. I chose my own path, paid for it including my horses, barrel racing and lifestyle. This millennial parenting is BS and has contributed to the demise of our society. Your kids should work hard and buy their own places!

You don’t know our situation at all. I don’t appreciate you bad mouthing my kid or anyone else’s when you don’t have the whole picture and it’s really none of your business. 

Goodness

I'll tell you what, If we are ever fortunate enough to be able to give our kids some land or help with a home, we'd do it in a heartbeat. I dont feel theyd be worse off for it. 

Help me be nice here. . . How about all I say is that I VERY MUCH believe it depends on the child/young adult and their attitudes and work ethics and morals.    Chandler is 21, Laura is 22.  He's a self-employed farmer with three different types of crops going on (beans, hay, crayfish).   She's a RN, going to anesthesiologist school next year.    They are conservative, hard working kids that value family, faith, and busting your butt to earn a living.    Please rest assured that if helping them contributes to "millennial BS parenting," then I'm guilty.  And OH SO VERY PROUD of it. 

Feelers have been touched. 

Ole TT is mostly right though

My parents bought houses for both my brother and me. We had to pay the mortgage, utilities, etc. but it's so much nicer when your mom is your landlord. We all came out ahead financially. The mortgage was less than rent and they got the tax benefits of rental property. When I bought my own farm, they sold my little house and managed to make a little money even though they bought it in 2008 before the market crashed.

I'm so beyond grateful that they could afford it and were willing to do it. I don't think we'd be where we are financially if it weren't for them. 

Well I paid for all 3 of my kids college for them.  I did not want them to come out in life with student debt.  So in a way I paid for their houses.  If you figure what a lot of kids pay in student debt and interest it adds up to the price of a house.  They are all very successful as I have taught them about money their whole life.

There is a difference IMHO in being a good parent to young adults versus 'keeping them kids'.  During my work career I saw parents show up with their grown children for interviews, parents that tried to get involved in salary negotiation, parents that wanted to sit in on the interview -- and parents actually calling management about their child's work schedule, etc.  Many of these young people had no social skills and any time one of them ran up against a problem - no matter how small - they called mom and dad and most always mom and dad tried to get involved with management or human resources. Mind you, these were young people with advanced college degrees in their mid-twenties. One set of parents drove a long distance to get their son to take him home because he had to work too many hours a day several times during the first six months of his employment. This, in my opinion, is not good for the children -- it keeps them living as 'kids' instead of making the step into adulthood to face all that entails.  I often wonder what happened to some of them once their parents passed away. How did they make it?

We helped our boys obtain college degrees but they also contributed some funds via working. After that, it was big-boy time. We did not help them with home or auto purchases, etc. We have stepped up to provide some help when they have had a crisis -- such as when our oldest son's home burned to the ground. We gave him money to help him find a rental, buy some furniture to get by until his insurance stepped up and paid. They knew on the front end they would need to get out and 'make it' to have all the things they wanted to have. And we tried hard to teach them good life skills, i.e. about banking, budgets, social skills, how to work their way through problems and conflicts, etc., and step up to face consequences (for example, one son - a few months after getting his first checking account at age 16, wrote $300 of hot checks and expected us to cover them; we did not; he had to sell his little fishing boat and a couple of guns to cover the checks and all of the fees -- and he had to personally go handle it all).  Our boys know we are here for them -- but we are not going to support their desired lifestyle -- that's up to them.

What an awesome wedding gift!!

It seems what most of you are talking about is giving you kids land or having been given land. I think that is awesome!! Land is something that is very often passed down to family. Others have mention their parents finacing the home and letting them pay for it, or helping a student with housing. Also a blessing to be able to help with. However in what I have seen latley is a little different that what you guys are mentioning. In these cases, the parents are purchasing homes with land for their young adult kids. No expectation to pay the note or anything of that sort. Let me say again, it is their privilege to do so if they see fit. Again from a socialogical perception it seems that as the generations go on, parents are caring for their children further on into their lives. At one time it was common for parents to care for their kids until they were old enough to get a job/18 or married (very often at age 16-18). Then it became more normal for parents to help on through college. I am seeing that progress now into their married lives after they recieve their education and well into adulthood.  

Yes it seems that every new generation expects their parents to make their life easier than their parents.

The pendeline will swing the other way soon.   As the generation that has had it so easy they will expect their kids to take care of them like the parents did.   Its called the " The millinials "

They think they are entitled to everything.  And you are seeing this generation right now.

I think that's a gross generalization. 

I am of "millenial age".  I bought my house (In California. Where you get a lot less for a whole lot more $). I pay my bills. I am responsible for my horses/dogs. I have bought my own vehicles and trailers. BUT, my mother has been there to help me during every sinlge endeavour. She taught me how to budget, save, make payments, and be smart with my money. I absolutely give her the credit for everything I have because she did her best to set me up for a life of success. 

I also know that she is in no way required to help me should I get in over my head. I went to school/rodeo'd with both of my neighbors, and they bought their houses themselves with no help from their parents either. 

Are there "millenials" who are entitled? Sure. Are there just as many of us, if not more, who are making our own way and know that we aren't owed anything by society or our parents? You bet.

I bought a nice house under the guise of giving it to my child. 

But before we transferred the deed I gave it a homeless person instead. The lessons were multiple and long lasting. 


1. It taught that life is full of disappointment

2. It taught a lesson in giving

3. It taught that life isn't fair

4. It taught that you should never trust anyone fully, but yourself. 

And it was funny. 

Also,,,,,,Pendeline? 

I am of millennial age also. I was clothed, fed and cared for but once old enought to have a job I had one. I went out completely on my own at 18. I paid all of my own bills and worked while grants helped me some in college. There was no safety net or anyone to fall back on. It was tough but I am glad for it. I am very proud of eveything I have today that my husband and I worked hard for. We both come from similar situations where there is no help to be given, no one is going to die one day and leave either of us anything. We are totally fine with that. I have friends who have parents who worked hard so they could help them pay for their education and expenses until they could get on their own. That is a blessing. I hope I am able to help my kids some. However, I want them to know the value of a dollar. I want them to know the world owes them nothing and that if you want something in life it is absolutley up to you alone to get out there and get it.   

Thank you so much!   This would put him on the farm as well as give her access to an area for her horses.  He's wanted to build his home in this area since he was tiny--he would always say "the north end is gonna be my house place."   

Apparently my parents missed that memo 18 years ago! I had my first home built (on my own) at age 19. 

I do, however, know someone who pays their child's mortgage due to circumstances (her son and his wife have 5 small children and she needs to stay at home with them, so their mother pays the mortgage to help out).

We gave my daughter and her family 14 acres,they gave it backand bought their own place :)))

That was nice of you! I'll take it!! haha

It doesn’t make sense to waste money on renting a house for your “college student “ child. Purchasing a small home and paying towards something of value that will always hold value is a better investment. It is a great way to save money in a way because you are putting your money into your own property instead of someone’s bank account! Dorm rent is as expensive as purchasing a home these days! They could always get a roommate to help with the utilities and help pay the mortgage essentially!

i bought my son and daughter in law but they pay me pay me back every month.as i am sort of retired and permantly disabled this help my finaces

With today's property values, I don't know how young people can afford to buy a house anymore.  I guess it would be great if you can afford to help your kids.  I wouldn't mind them living close but most of our property is flood plain so giving them a couple of acres to build on isn't really an option.  They each have their own homes, just not any acreage.  The kids will have to wait until we croak to get ours. lol

I paid most of my college expenses as I went. I have bought my own horses and equipment, property and home. I have friends who have had parents buy them homes, get them started in business and for the most part they appreciate what their parents have done for them. Personally, I am happy for them. I think without exception, the ones whose parents have helped them out are very hard working people. 

Thank you so much for saying this.  Rubs me way way wrong when some people assume they know what ALL of today's young people are like. . . .