cooking,   drop in a peeled potato and will absorb the excess salt

   for an instant  "fix-me-up."

   Real Women - If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too

   damn bad.  Please recite with with me The Real Women's motto: "I made

   it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

   *************************************************************

   Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on

   your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

   Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You

   might still have the headache, but who the hell cares?

   *************************************************************

   Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone

   to prevent ice cream drips.

   Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone,

   for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with

   your feet up anyway.

   *************************************************************

   Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with

   the potatoes.

   Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry

   about the potatoes growing arms and legs.

   *************************************************************

   Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a

   bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on

   the inside of the cake.

   Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the sonofabitch

   for you.

   *************************************************************

   Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to

   yield  a beautiful glossy finish.

   Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include

   brushing egg whites over stuff, so don't do it.

   *************************************************************

   Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex

   dishwashing gloves.  They give a non slip grip that makes opening

   jars easy.

   Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.

   *************************************************************

   And finally the most important tip....

   Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine.  Freeze into ice cubes

   for future use in casseroles and sauces.

   Real Women - Leftover wine?? 

   *************************************************************

   A good friend will come and bail you out of jail....but, a true friend

   will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn..that was fun!"