Hiii! 
So I can't really vent to my friends as they think I'm crazy and wrong so here we go. 

I have the best mare ever. I wouldn't trade her for anything but recently I'm starting to feel pretty hopeless. I've owned her for three years and competed for 2. She just turned 9. We started with local gaming shows and the first year was great. Constantly improving and felt fun. The last year I think we've had more unsuccessful runs then successful. We do a bit of everything to keep her brain sound so cows trails English etc.

So, now to the problem. My mare is extremely athletic,gritty and smart but also extremely independent and stubborn. It's her way or no way. She lives for going fast and competing. So it started with gate issues about one year ago. At first it was only one arena and then all off them but only after like two or three events. Had her vetted,chiroed etc. Everything came back fine. Then we did a few 3 event days instead of five like we had previously and she was fine. Then to five events and she was fine. All was good for a few months and then something new arose. Like trying to not cross over between first and second,blowing third, etc. But it was never a consistent issue and when we thought we fixed it, a few months later it would start again. I've gone to lessons and clinics and of course she never presents these issues. I know she is hard to ride and she is strong, opinionated and fast. She is the biggest mommas girl so she refuses to do anything when someone else rides her. I've been told many times she has all this potential and I just don't feel like I can get it out of her at this point. I don't feel like it's fair to her to waste away because I can't fix the issues or ride her properly. It's making me feel like a terrible horse owner and very selfish.

Do I give up and either sell or switch paths for a bit? Is it normal to have such long spells of terribleness? I never see my friends have such long spells. Do I just push through? Send her to a trainer? Go back to trotting patterns?

So any advice or thoughts on this? Is it normal/okay to feel this way?

Thanks

P.S I hope this all made sense. I am writing this full of thoughts about the matter and might have blabbered or missed details.