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| You need to do whatever it takes to keep him locked away. Some people are just born bad, no amount of medications or therapy will change them. He started at age 6 and look at he damage he did, keep him locked up. I watched a friends family go thru this, lying, stealing, animal abuse, fire starting and physical attacks on family members. After years of therapy, medications, mental hospitals, county jail, halfway houses he got his way 4 years ago at the age of 24 he murdered his father, stepmother and stepbrother. This kid was raised next door to my brothers family he ran with my nephews till he was 16 and got to weird for them, his father did everything in the world to get him help.
A restraining order is a piece of paper, it will not stop him if he wants hurt you or your family. |
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Location: Montana | I fully intend to do what I can, unfortunately they keep releasing him. I personally feel that people like him should be put to out of everyones misery. What happend to your friends family is my biggest fear. I understand exactly who we are dealing with and I agree with you. He doesnt know where we live or where my kids live and I have this place set up just in case. Four dogs, many firearms, cameras, fully fenced yard, some may think it is overkill but I admit that he scares me. I put my children through many years of defense classes. We live a few states away from where he and my parents are. Two of my brothers live on my parents farm with them and they are armed.
Edited by Bandit94 2014-11-20 9:23 PM
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10D Crack Champion
   
| komet. - 2014-11-20 1:04 AM No..No..NO!!! a million times NO!!! Whatever it takes... court order to stay away.. whatever.... Something else to think about... I don't believe that at the age of 8 he just pulled this behavior out of his butt.(so to speak).. Someone did this to him or showed him or told him this was ok to do and caused him to turn in this direction... If he ever manages to change this activity he will be in the minority..
What is it that caused him to turn to this horrific life when so many who have been abused don't become abusers themselves? |
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Location: SE Louisiana | sodapop - 2014-11-20 10:34 PM
komet. - 2014-11-20 1:04 AM No..No..NO!!! a million times NO!!! Whatever it takes... court order to stay away.. whatever.... Something else to think about... I don't believe that at the age of 8 he just pulled this behavior out of his butt.(so to speak).. Someone did this to him or showed him or told him this was ok to do and caused him to turn in this direction... If he ever manages to change this activity he will be in the minority..
What is it that caused him to turn to this horrific life when so many who have been abused don't become abusers themselves?
So many that have gone through this remember what it was like and would never put someone else through it... But others would... I grew up in very rural Missouri in the 60s, 70s and 80 and saw more of this than I care to remember. I still know most of those people and I see it going from generation to generation. And still it is not reported very much. |
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Expert
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Location: Montana | In order to get a harrassment order I have to disclose where we live, which he would be able to see, so I am not going to file one. My parents had one in place but it ran out a few months ago, my Mother is going to get another one. I have been put in contact with a state run victim notification agency. I also spoke with his prison counseler, he is in solitary confinement and gained himself another month in jail for the harrassment. He will be released Dec of 15. then he will have 36 months of probation.
Komet, he has never said anything about having been abused himself since coming under his Dads custody. My mother in law was an ugly person. She was highly manipulative, told many lies and harrassed us at every op. My husband worked a lot and his mom would care for his son before we met. She played a lot of mind games with everyone but those that didnt know her would think that she was a nice lady. I dont believe that she did anything abusive to him but she never held him accountable would lie for him, belittle my husband in front of him, etc. What I now know is that persons like my step-son are often born with a predisposition for this kind of behavior and need a very structured environment. If you add in early neglect and abuse (his mom) then top it off with an unstructured environment (grandma) then you get someone like him. Our basic personalities are set by the time we are around six and our abilty to attach to others is formed in the first year.
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 Love Me Some Robert Redford
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Location: WV | So sorry but I would keep him from everyone and everything... |
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Location: Montana | mam0329 - 2014-11-22 10:25 AM So sorry but I would keep him from everyone and everything...
I am trying to. The victims advocacy group that I have been put into contact with through the state has asked for copies of all correspondence. I have been given a contact person and they are gathering information so that their will be a case file. It is under thier suggestion that I dont reveal where we all are. Unfortunately, the authorities dont hold people like him accountable the way that they should. |
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Location: SE Louisiana | Bandit94 - 2014-11-22 10:56 AM In order to get a harrassment order I have to disclose where we live, which he would be able to see, so I am not going to file one. My parents had one in place but it ran out a few months ago, my Mother is going to get another one. I have been put in contact with a state run victim notification agency. I also spoke with his prison counseler, he is in solitary confinement and gained himself another month in jail for the harrassment. He will be released Dec of 15. then he will have 36 months of probation.
Komet, he has never said anything about having been abused himself since coming under his Dads custody. My mother in law was an ugly person. She was highly manipulative, told many lies and harrassed us at every op. My husband worked a lot and his mom would care for his son before we met. She played a lot of mind games with everyone but those that didnt know her would think that she was a nice lady. I dont believe that she did anything abusive to him but she never held him accountable would lie for him, belittle my husband in front of him, etc. What I now know is that persons like my step-son are often born with a predisposition for this kind of behavior and need a very structured environment. If you add in early neglect and abuse (his mom) then top it off with an unstructured environment (grandma) then you get someone like him. Our basic personalities are set by the time we are around six and our abilty to attach to others is formed in the first year.
Well that would make sense... The understanding now is you can be born gay or born straight... Why not this? |
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  Angel in a Sorrel Coat
Posts: 16030
Location: In a happy place | Grits - 2014-11-20 9:26 AM I have had experience with people in prison, and one thing that no one else has mentioned is that they constantly want money. They want/need money in their prison accounts, to get luxury items such as cigarettes, food, "favors", and things that aren't allowed in prison but guards will bring it to them. So my first thought regarding your parents is that they might fall for his lies and send him money. PLEASE make sure they are not doing this. Contact the warden of the prison where he is and tell him/her that he is harrassing your family. Ask them to monitor his outgoing mail and stop anything from coming to your parents. Of course, if he calls, it will be collect, and anyone can refuse the call. And get that restraining order. I am sorry this guy has put your family and others through this. Some people can't be helped, and he sounds like one of them. It is a shame that his life turned out like it did, but you have to protect your family from him. Prayers for you. 
Grits reading through all the posts some talk about a restraining order. And you suggested it to. My question is can this possibly help at all? I have had no experience and was just wondering. Your advice is so good. |
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