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Elite Veteran
Posts: 831
  
| Ok so I have a 7 year old little boy from a previous marriage. We have been devorced for 5 years. I am happily remarried to a wonderful man that has taken my little boy right in as his own!! As far as before my husband I would never bring a guy that I was just dating around my son; period!!
My question is: My x does brings girls around a lot!! As in a different one almost every time my son has to go see his father. In fact sometimes my son doesn't even get their names!! I mean I know I can't say anything but I just worry about how this could effect my little boy in the long run!! I mean I know at least he has stabalization here at home but I just still worry!! And I'm just not sure how to handle this!! How do I explain to my little boy if or when he askes about it!!
Thanks in advance!! |
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 Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | Your Dad's a little messed up right now?????  |
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 The best bad guy on the internet
Posts: 3519
Location: Arizona | Have you spoken to your ex about it? You might want to mention that it's not a good idea to bring home so many girls when he has your son... |
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 Toastest with the Mostest
Posts: 5712
Location: That part of Texas | I would tell your ex to think about his child instead of himself and let him know that you can go back to court to get a special visitation provision prohibiting him from having a member of the opposite sex over between certain hours (like 8pm-8am) unless they are married. Let him know you don't want to do that but if his behavior doesn't stop, you will. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1857
| I think if his main "home" is stable and he see's the proper interaction between women and men you might not have that much to worry about. He lives with you, he sees and lives in a home that is stable, he might already realize that his fathers behavior isn't right. If he asks why his dad has a new girl every time he goes over there I think I would tell him that that is a question for his dad to answer. That you don't agree with it but maybe is father just hasn't found the right one yet. As long as you are teaching him the proper way to treat girls, respect women than I'm sure it wont have that big of an effect on him. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 596
Location: Somewhere in the middle of nowhere | Red Raider - 2014-04-03 2:07 PM I would tell your ex to think about his child instead of himself and let him know that you can go back to court to get a special visitation provision prohibiting him from having a member of the opposite sex over between certain hours (like 8pm-8am) unless they are married. Let him know you don't want to do that but if his behavior doesn't stop, you will.
No disrespect intended but I have this for the same reasons and it is only as good as the paper it is written on.....I try to live as an example for my kids and that so far has been the best option for me. Its not a perfect solution but the only one I have at this time and my kids are 16, 14, 13, and 10.... |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Red Raider - 2014-04-03 3:07 PM I would tell your ex to think about his child instead of himself and let him know that you can go back to court to get a special visitation provision prohibiting him from having a member of the opposite sex over between certain hours (like 8pm-8am) unless they are married. Let him know you don't want to do that but if his behavior doesn't stop, you will.
This^. I would be very concerned. |
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 Midget Lover
Location: Kentucky | I really don't see the ex "listening" to anything you say. Can you tell your son that those are his Dad's "friends"? |
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  Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | I have an idea, but it might send you to jail....... |
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Toastest with the Mostest
Posts: 5712
Location: That part of Texas | nmeastplains - 2014-04-03 3:26 PM Red Raider - 2014-04-03 2:07 PM I would tell your ex to think about his child instead of himself and let him know that you can go back to court to get a special visitation provision prohibiting him from having a member of the opposite sex over between certain hours (like 8pm-8am) unless they are married. Let him know you don't want to do that but if his behavior doesn't stop, you will. No disrespect intended but I have this for the same reasons and it is only as good as the paper it is written on.....I try to live as an example for my kids and that so far has been the best option for me. Its not a perfect solution but the only one I have at this time and my kids are 16, 14, 13, and 10....
Yes it is only as good as the paper it is written on if you don't go back and file a motion to enforce when it is violated. Every custody order is pretty much subject to that on every provision though so you might as well have it written in there as opposed to not doing it. I'd rather have a gun with ammo than just a gun laying around. Doesn't mean I'm going to shot it but if I need to, I'd rather have it handy than not. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 831
| LRQHS - 2014-04-03 3:34 PM
I have an idea, but it might send you to jail.......
Haha!! I'm pretty sure I have already had that idea!! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 831
| As far as it goes he does call them "my daddy's friend" but then he will ask me y all of his daddy's friends are girls?!?! I'm like cuz ur dads a womanizing con artist slut!! Lol, j/k. I just really don't want him to grow up thinking its ok to b that way. My husband really tries to teach him and b a good example but I'm afraid that because my x is so much of a "Disney land dad" that he looks up to him. |
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Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | ready2rodeo - 2014-04-03 4:05 PM As far as it goes he does call them "my daddy's friend" but then he will ask me y all of his daddy's friends are girls?!?! I'm like cuz ur dads a womanizing con artist slut!! Lol, j/k. I just really don't want him to grow up thinking its ok to b that way. My husband really tries to teach him and b a good example but I'm afraid that because my x is so much of a "Disney land dad" that he looks up to him.
Well, I don't have any kids.....for a good reason......but, if I did, I would just talk to him about it (the kid). I think he will understand if you talk to him.....especially, as he gets a little older.
IF that doesn't work, anytime your son brings a little girl to meet you, I'd have a talk with her too......lay the rules down, at the kitchen table, with both of them on their first date......that should work.
You could, also, try stalking your sons Facebook, school and baseball games for any unsavory little girls and scare them off before hand......be the Mom that is so crazy, no one wants to go out with your son.
That's all I've got....
OR, break the Dad's knee caps so he can't go out looking for the ladies..... |
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Expert
Posts: 1857
| Disney Land stops being cool the older you get. Buying them off only lasts so long. I would try to stay a neutral as possible and maybe even ask his dad if he can explain to you two's son why so many girls are around because he keeps asking you and you don't want to get the answer wrong. Maybe even be with your son when he asks that way he feels brave enough to ask and then it's called out to your ex. He may get it and may not! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 831
| LRQHS - 2014-04-03 4:13 PM
ready2rodeo - 2014-04-03 4:05 PM As far as it goes he does call them "my daddy's friend" but then he will ask me y all of his daddy's friends are girls?!?! I'm like cuz ur dads a womanizing con artist slut!! Lol, j/k. I just really don't want him to grow up thinking its ok to b that way. My husband really tries to teach him and b a good example but I'm afraid that because my x is so much of a "Disney land dad" that he looks up to him.
Well, I don't have any kids.....for a good reason......but, if I did, I would just talk to him about it (the kid). I think he will understand if you talk to him.....especially, as he gets a little older.
IF that doesn't work, anytime your son brings a little girl to meet you, I'd have a talk with her too......lay the rules down, at the kitchen table, with both of them on their first date......that should work.
You could, also, try stalking your sons Facebook, school and baseball games for any unsavory little girls and scare them off before hand......be the Mom that is so crazy, no one wants to go out with your son.
That's all I've got....
OR, break the Dad's knee caps so he can't go out looking for the ladies.....
You crack me up!! But ur pretty much right on the nail. I AM the crazy mom that no girl will have anything to do with him. I mean as of right now he is to young to "date" and he doesn't have FB.
I have kinda tried to talk to him but as of right now I think he is still to young but I will for sure keep trying.
And I was thinking more skull not knee caps!! Lol!! |
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Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | My niece's Dad is very similar.......around age 9 - 10 she figured it out and realizes that her step dad is more of a father than her real dad......they figure it out. Just keep it right at home and it will all work out :) |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 831
| LRQHS - 2014-04-03 4:27 PM
My niece's Dad is very similar.......around age 9 - 10 she figured it out and realizes that her step dad is more of a father than her real dad......they figure it out. Just keep it right at home and it will all work out :)
Thank U!! |
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