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 Hawty & Nawty
Posts: 20424
       
| I've been busy. Really busy. My husband tells me he misses me, doesn't know who I am anymore... I attend a party today with many barrel racers and they treat me as one of their own but I don't feel like one of them...FRAUD. That's kind of where my mind went. My best friend in the world whom I have neglected for nearly a year shows me her blingy tack, her filly that has now grown that marble butt she wanted...and I'm thinking, "I really have disappeared." I had a reason and that reason is about to be published in a few weeks. I hope afterwards I find balance in my life, lose the wieght I gained, get back in the saddle and re-acquaint myself with my barrel girls. **I thought it was over, and then it calls me back. I'm really yearning to walk away from the keyboard for awhile and go ride my horse. So funny because I thought I was done. I thought the feeling and the "want tos" went south.
I guess not. xoxoxo |
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 Dancing in my Mind
Posts: 3062
    Location: Eastern OH but my heart is in WV | Many hugs to you Kelly. I understand the position you are in. I 100% feel for you. Writing is not what has taken me away but the daily, busy lives of two kids. My world feels like it revolves around kid's activities and I have lost who I am. I love that my kids are thriving and growing and I keep reminding myself I will miss these days very soon but my heart really misses my horses and my "horsey" friends for that matter. The horses are right out in the field but other than ensuring they are healthy and taken care of, I hate they get so little attention. Just NOW, the end of May. we are getting a FEW rides in and to top it off my daughter has fallen in love with my horse and I am stuck riding her old pony until I can afford to get another horse. I should clarify that, they have a bond and I want her to have that with a special horse, so I gave over my ride. I most likely will not run barrels again, unless I find that very special horse that will allow me to come back slowly, but I just miss that bond and time in the saddle. I hope this long weekend I can at least ride tomorrow and Monday morning I know it is hard for people who don't have a true love for horses to understand the draw and what a need it is for those of us that do but it gets in your blood. No matter you how much you try to tell yourself you can walk a way for a while, you really can't.
I hope you get back in the saddle soon and find yourself again. If you ever need to just vent or talk about missing your horses, just p.m. me because I feel your struggle girl   
Edited by Rolling J 2014-05-24 9:01 PM
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 Hawty & Nawty
Posts: 20424
       
| Wow, thank you for totally getting where I'm coming from. The guilt is killing me that I have these horses just standing around. It wasn't until my husband pulled me aside and told me he misses me did I realize how much I have completely abandonded myself.
Its crazy. |
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 Expert
Posts: 4121
   Location: SE Louisiana | A tiger don't change it's stripes Riden.. We all know who you are, even if you get too busy to stop by..  |
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  Twin Sister to Queen Boobie
Posts: 13315
       Location: East Tennessee but who knows?! | Doing the promo work and writing will suck you down into the black hole never to be seen again!!! It's so much work and it's hard to find a balance, especially with as much as you've written and how well you've done! You'll get the balance eventually and you'll get back to the horse world......and then we'll be sick of Poprock pictures instead of promo posts on your book!! 
The only thing that keeps me from getting permently sucked down and staying there is the fact that I have so many horses and critters to feed and I have to go to work! I don't get enough riding in and I don't get enough writing in.....
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 Hawty & Nawty
Posts: 20424
       
| Thanks F.J. I hope so. Don't get me wrong, humbled and grateful I truly am. |
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 Hawty & Nawty
Posts: 20424
       
| komet. - 2014-05-25 7:31 PM A tiger don't change it's stripes Riden.. We all know who you are, even if you get too busy to stop by.. 
LOL Komet my roar is a weak little mew. |
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  Twin Sister to Queen Boobie
Posts: 13315
       Location: East Tennessee but who knows?! | You've worked really hard and you've done fabulous!    |
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 Dancing in my Mind
Posts: 3062
    Location: Eastern OH but my heart is in WV | Hey I was just thinking, after you are a rich, famous author- you can hire some one to keep your horses in shape for you, haul them to shows and you just need to show-up and ride. Or your stable boy can just have them saddled and waiting when you want to hit the trails. YEAH, THAT'S THE PLAN AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT YET  |
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  Angel in a Sorrel Coat
Posts: 16030
     Location: In a happy place | The main thing is just ENJOY life. Whatever each day brings. |
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  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
           Location: Florida.. | we all get busy in our Lives some more with careers in horses .. some not.. but one thing for certain.. it will always call you back... our lives change.. circumstances change.. its OK........ thats life... our blood still runs horses ... we will always be connected.. in some way or another.proud of you !!!!!........... |
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