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Posts: 1432
  
Location: Never in one place long | So I am a very involved volunteer at my local animal shelter.... so much so that I'm there pretty much there EVERYday on my lunch break, often on weekends, foster one dog after another, put ads out for dogs, work with dogs etc.... I try to do everything and anything possible to help these dogs and find them homes. I have literally gotten so involved I know EVERY Animal at the shelter....
Soooooooooo.... once again, as happened last year and several other times in between,... our animal shelter is FULL and we are facing having to Euthanize.... I don't know what else I can possibly do but anyway here is my problem.... My mood of the day is determined by how the animal shelter is doing... if it's full or I know a dog is "at risk" I'm tense, nervous and stressed, so much so that I can't concentrate and can't even relax enough to have a good time no matter who I'm with.. it's all I can think about and I have NO power to do anything about it..... this I KNOW but I can't relax. My husband could really care less and thinks my fostering is a huge pain but he lets me do it... he just doesn't understand so I can't confide in him and I feel bad talking to others about it as they never know what to say or just brush it off, it's easy to say who cares when you don't KNOW the dogs. I also find myself getting extremely upset, for example, when I see people coming in and surrendering their dog because they're "too noisy" "too Hyper" too friendly" etc I want to SCREAM at them! or "unwanted litter" well what did you THINK would happen, now it's OUR problem and not theirs.....
So after this LONG rant I guess what I'm wondering is how do you let things go and relax? How can you NOT get upset? What can I do to make it so I'm not always giving myself ulcers over this!? I just love these animals so much and when you know them on a personal level it's hard not to have feeling for them and let them die! I want to stay involved with helping animals but it's making me a mess! I'm leaving for a vacation a week from today but even then, when I leave in a situation like this, it's constantly on my mind....How do I live the other part of my life and be happy while at the same time care for these animals? |
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 Tough Patooty
Posts: 2615
 
Location: Sperry, OK | Maybe you should scale back your involvement for your own health and sanity. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1034
| Your mood is your choice. Fake it 'til you make it.
Everyone - EVERYONE has pain and difficulty, including those who are pleasant and happy. They are that way by choice. Exceptions are people with true medical need for chemical rebalancing, and that is clearly not their choice.
http://www.dennisprager.com/happiness-is-a-moral-obligation/ |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1079
| bless your heart for being one of the caring smart animal people in this world! I always say I could never work in a pet store because I would kill someone. "how cute!" --- only criteria for spontaneously getting a puppy---- you see the other end, when they get dumped for xyz reason that should have prevented the purchase / breeding / etc in the first place.
I say try to educate people, do what you can for the dogs in the shelter and take the absolute best care you can of your own dogs. It's really all you can do.
A local rescuer in my community once told me (after me saying I wish I could foster/help her) she said I DO help her by taking great care of my own dogs.
My random thoughts to hopefully ease your stress. Keep helping, but know you can only do so much. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 550
| ACEINTHEHOLE - 2014-06-25 2:55 PM
Maybe you should scale back your involvement for your own health and sanity.Â
This is what I had to do.
A girl around here started a FB page for the animals at the shelter, and got it featured in the local paper. It increased adoptions, and is helping to fix some problems at the shelter. She takes pictures & posts them, and people can share them, look for fitting rescues, etc.
Not really an answer to your question. Maybe a little break will help you come back ready to go again. |
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Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | HorseMommyFiveO - 2014-06-25 2:01 PM
Your mood is your choice. Fake it 'til you make it.
Everyone - EVERYONE has pain and difficulty, including those who are pleasant and happy. They are that way by choice. Exceptions are people with true medical need for chemical rebalancing, and that is clearly not their choice.
http://www.dennisprager.com/happiness-is-a-moral-obligation/[/quote...
OH I am an expert faker... I have to fake it at work and around people but that is not the way I feel. My husband and a select few friends and my Mom are the only ones I am totally real with but it's hard hiding it.....and not having a husband who cares makes it difficult. I can't fault him, not all people are animal rescuers but it's still hard... |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | Keep helping. However, it is important to realize you can't save them all. It's not possible. Do what you can, and understand that if you weren't helping, things would be worse.
You need to develop that distance doctors or healthcare workes HAVE to develop with patients. You try your best, but in the end, you cannot allow yourself to become extremely emotionally involved with your patients. It would wear on one's sanity and take a huge toll, as well as make the person a less efective dr, nurse, whatever as their judgement may become clouded.
Best of luck. You are doing a good thing. You do what you can in this life, and accept that not every animal will have a happy ending... however, you are making sure they know love and have a chance. That is huge.
Edited by barrelracr131 2014-06-25 2:05 PM
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Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | quikchik - 2014-06-25 2:02 PM
ACEINTHEHOLE - 2014-06-25 2:55 PM
Maybe you should scale back your involvement for your own health and sanity.Â
This is what I had to do.
A girl around here started a FB page for the animals at the shelter, and got it featured in the local paper. It increased adoptions, and is helping to fix some problems at the shelter. She takes pictures & posts them, and people can share them, look for fitting rescues, etc.
Not really an answer to your question. Maybe a little break will help you come back ready to go again.
I put pets on the County/City Fb pages quite frequently, we feature in newspapers, on craiglist etc. anything and everything I can think of... take my fosters to barrrel races to show them to people. Adoptathons...
I'm taking a week break next week... it's just always on my mind and I almost feel guilty knowing that most days, I'm the only one there that takes the animals out so I know when I leave they'll get hardly ANY attention while I'm away... that makes it pretty hard.
Edited by DLV 2014-06-25 2:08 PM
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  Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | Where is your shelter at? |
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Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | LRQHS - 2014-06-25 2:08 PM
 Where is your shelter at?
Kansas |
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 You get what you give
Posts: 13030
Location: Texas | DLV - 2014-06-25 2:05 PM
quikchik - 2014-06-25 2:02 PM
ACEINTHEHOLE - 2014-06-25 2:55 PM
Maybe you should scale back your involvement for your own health and sanity.Â
This is what I had to do.
A girl around here started a FB page for the animals at the shelter, and got it featured in the local paper. It increased adoptions, and is helping to fix some problems at the shelter. She takes pictures & posts them, and people can share them, look for fitting rescues, etc.
Not really an answer to your question. Maybe a little break will help you come back ready to go again.
I put pets on the County/City Fb pages quite frequently, we feature in newspapers, on craiglist etc. anything and everything I can think of... take my fosters to barrrel races to show them to people. Adoptathons...
I'm taking a week break next week... it's just always on my mind and I almost feel guilty knowing that most days, I'm the only one there that takes the animals out so I know when I leave they'll get hardly ANY attention while I'm away... that makes it pretty hard.
what about the other volunteers or employees? are you absolutely sure you are the only one who does those things? If so, I would be discussing with the shelter to have those duties spread out to other people….so that you can see other people helping them and not just you.
I think you need to take a break, cut back on the trips there, and maybe recruit some other people to volunteer. And like someone else said- you can't save them all but you do the best you can. It sounds to me like you are almost too emotionally involved and its taking a toll on your family and personal life- that is when it's too much and you need to take a step back. |
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 Stinky Cat Owner
Posts: 4097
Location: Oregon | I wish more people were like you! Thank you for all you do!! I can't imagine working there because I would become an animal hoarder in my attemp to save them all. I wish there was more education and knowledge about all the unwanted animals in shelters and that dog breeding wasn't just another way to fund a hobby OR be a hobby. I will always believe that when you breed two purebreds you get a mutt yet people pay hundreds of dollars. (scratching my head?) I admire your passion and I guess I'm no help here but THANK you for being such a great animal advocate!  |
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 Pork Fat is my Favorite
Posts: 3791
Location: The Oklahoma plains. | I volunteer a lot for the city of Tulsa animal shelter but only as a foster. It is VERY hard for me to go there and walk thru the kennels.
I am glad I have been able to help those that I have but I have lost two and I had to take a break from fostering. I have a knack with the medical needs but its not something I want to be good at and it is a high risk success rate.
Maybe you can join a rescue group that comes to your shelter and then you would be in a more positive daily path? 
I would reach out to some of those rescue groups and ask how they unwind? Or even ER doctors or nurses and ask how they cope? |
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 Veteran
Posts: 204
| A "friend" of mine put her perfectly healthy dog to sleep a few weeks ago because he attacked a kitten. She said he was "getting too aggressive." Instead of trying to give him proper training or even just INTRODUCING a kitten to him (because obviously he didn't even know what the thing was), she ran to the vet hours after the incident to put him to sleep...A dog she had since it was a baby. She didn't even try to find someone who would have taken him in for her. THEN a day or 2 later she got a brand new puppy. It's people like that in this world that make the good people who try to help the animals miserable. My heart is racing right now as I type this I'm so angry.
I'm not much of a help on the advice part...if I was in your position it would consume my every minute, too....I just don't understand how cruel humans can be...
What does make me happy is going home and playing with my rescue babies...they bring me more joy than most humans do...And I can see the appreciation in their eyes everyday. You can't save them all, but you can make a huge difference for the ones that you are able to save.
God bless you for caring so much! The world needs more of you!
Edited by TheMidasTouch 2014-06-25 4:27 PM
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 Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | focus on the good your doing.. and realize that while your there at least you are making a differance but you cant help them all.. owners have to take responsiblity which will never happen.. not all of them.. I worked as a receiveing clerk at Humane Society for 2 yrs when I was in my early 20's and assistant animal cruelty worker. I practically lived there....I felt same as you.. but I decided who was staying and who was not adoptable.. age, attitude, looks etc.. back then it was early 80's and we had gas chamber.. over 20 animals would be put in the basket and wheeled to that.. each time.. if animal was older or to young Id inject them. it wears on you emotionally.. you had to distance yourself.. needle to heart for kittens or puppies under 12 weeks old.. we took in over 80 a weekend on summer months. there is no way they are all adoptable. litters came in.. to choose was hard so you must distance yourself.. I put my 2 weeks notice in when i realized I couldnt handle it anymore. it was affecting me to badly. all you can do is show love and compassion whether they stay or are euthanized..these days I think its easier to be there with your heart..love them all,, but have your life away to.. it will consume you...give duties to others.. they will do as good as job as you.. realize that.
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Industrial Srength Barrel Racer
Posts: 7264
| I don't have any advice but BLESS YOUR HEART for helping! |
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Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | TheMidasTouch - 2014-06-25 4:24 PM
A "friend" of mine put her perfectly healthy dog to sleep a few weeks ago because he attacked a kitten. She said he was "getting too aggressive." Instead of trying to give him proper training or even just INTRODUCING a kitten to him (because obviously he didn't even know what the thing was), she ran to the vet hours after the incident to put him to sleep...A dog she had since it was a baby. She didn't even try to find someone who would have taken him in for her. THEN a day or 2 later she got a brand new puppy. It's people like that in this world that make the good people who try to help the animals miserable. My heart is racing right now as I type this I'm so angry.
I'm not much of a help on the advice part...if I was in your position it would consume my every minute, too....I just don't understand how cruel humans can be...
What does make me happy is going home and playing with my rescue babies...they bring me more joy than most humans do...And I can see the appreciation in their eyes everyday. You can't save them all, but you can make a huge difference for the ones that you are able to save.
God bless you for caring so much! The world needs more of you!
Thank you for the kind words, I know exactly what you mean... happens all the time here and it truly is sad! Most of the time what people SAY their dog is doing wrong.... never once happens when I foster them... they just lie to "ditch" them. :( How sad about your friend. |
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Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | Bibliafarm - 2014-06-25 6:00 PM
focus on the good your doing.. and realize that while your there at least you are making a differance but you cant help them all.. owners have to take responsiblity which will never happen.. not all of them.. I worked as a receiveing clerk at Humane Society for 2 yrs when I was in my early 20's and assistant animal cruelty worker. I practically lived there....I felt same as you.. but I decided who was staying and who was not adoptable.. age, attitude, looks etc.. back then it was early 80's and  we had gas chamber.. over 20 animals would be put in the basket and wheeled to that.. each time.. if animal was older or to young Id inject them. it wears on you emotionally.. you had to distance yourself.. needle to heart for kittens or puppies under 12 weeks old.. we took in over 80 a weekend on summer months. there is no way they are all adoptable. litters came in.. to choose was hard so you must distance yourself.. I put my 2 weeks notice in when i realized I couldnt handle it anymore. it was affecting me to badly. all you can do is show love and compassion whether they stay or are euthanized..these days I think its easier to be there with your heart..love them all,, but have your life away to.. it will consume you...give duties to others.. they will do as good as job as you.. realize that.
Â
OH my goodness I would have NEVER been able to take that, where was this shelter? that is disgusting. You're right, things have gotten somewhat better at least in my experience. I can't believe how we can place so little value on some pets but on the other hand spoil "our" pets. It's awful. Thank you for your advice. |
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Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | back then it happened in ALL shelters.. jackcsonville fl
where else would these animals go? at least the youngsters and elder werent placed in the chamber with the others..that is a horrific death.. its outlawed now.There simply is TO many animals.. and not enough space.. hence why I am a spay nueter advocate and Im sure fb gets tired of my posts..
I would never be able to do it now.
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