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 Expert
Posts: 1304
 
| I really don't know which path to choose. I'm trying to decide whether or not to live in an apartment by myself this year in college, in my school's city, or live with my grandparent's 30 miles north. It sounds like such an easy decision but it's not because I've experienced both and there are pros and cons that mean the same to me. I'm so stressed and have been asking for direction and am just not getting any and need help.
Living in an apartment:
Pros-Being close to school, saving gas, convenience, independence, I would be happy, closer to work, less dangerous weather.
Cons-My horse isn't with me where I can take care of her, my dog will be alone while I'm at school and work, I'm not a big fan of this city, financially stressed.
Living with my grandparent's:
Pros-My animals will be taken care of (they live on a farm and my grandpa is retired so my dog will have someone all day), rural, I like this town, saving money.
Cons-spending all my money in gas, being controlled (my grandma is a control freak), less privacy, the drive to school from here is dangerous in the winter, more wear and tear on my car, no convenience (there is no grocery store here, etc)
I personally would love to live in an apartment and I would be so happy but I have animals that I have to be responsible for which is no one else's fault but my own. They obviously can't take care of themselves so that is one of the biggest things holding me back right now. Who would help me financially isn't the most dependable so I really don't want to rely on them. I would fully support myself but with the amount of school and coursework I have, still even with me working, I won't have enough to. I also lived with my grandparents last year and I hate to say it but it was so difficult. I feel that I need them as grandparents and almost not like parents which is what I get when I live with them. My grandma is a very demanding and controlling person so I felt a lot of bitterness towards them living there and I don't want to feel that again. It's really hard. I don't know where I should choose to live because one makes me happy but the other is stable. Please help. And please no rude, bitchy comments. | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 596
 
Location: Somewhere in the middle of nowhere | Sounds like to me that you have already made your decision. Your dog will be fine through out the day and you can make a point to see your horse on the weekends and visit your grandparents....this might be the stability you are craving. | |
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Expert
Posts: 1304
| You're right. That's the thing though, I don't like putting the responsibility of my horse on to them. I forgot to clarify that I live at my mom's house 2 and a half hours away from them right now so my horse is with me here at "home" but that's not stable and my mom's not home so no one could take care of her there while I'm gone that's why I have to bring her with me somewhere no matter what! Sorry, I didn't really say that before. I thought about paying my grandpa to take care of her plus buying her feed (she needs senior feed and needs fed it a few times a day), I just feel bad to do that. I'm not sure why. I appreciate your response though! This is a tough decision for me, maybe I'm making it harder than it is... | |
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Expert
Posts: 1304
| And you're right, he will be ok! I just know he got so spoiled being with my grandpa and their dogs all day long while I was gone!! | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1119
| Could you find a roommate to live with? That would help with the cost of the apartment and would be an extra person to hang out with your dog. Have you figured out how much you actually save living with your grandparents compared to living in an apartment?
I had a dog and a job when I was in college. You may think you won't be around much, but I went back to my apartment between classes and honestly spent quite a bit of time there. | |
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Expert
Posts: 1304
| I only know two girls up there that I'm good friends with but the one has a place to live and the other isn't very reliable rent wise, and when I lived with roommates before (I'm a junior now) my freshman year and it was a BAD experience. The one girl was a nut job/slut and took us to court trying to get restraining orders against us...because she was just cray cray. Lol. So I'd really rather not live with anyone even though I know how less expensive it'd be :/ And you're right, I know I'll be home a good bit at night/evenings, etc. I think it will work out for him that way. Thank you for the reply! | |
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I Really Love Jeans
Posts: 3173
Location: North Dakota | Find a horse facility near your school that will board your horse in exchange for you riding their horses or cleaning stalls, but get what you will be doing in writing completely. Some farms do have room and board if you work enough for them.Or try to find several room-mates that are renting a house together and work part time to pay rent. If none of this is possible just grind your teeth and work hard to finish school so you can move out of your grandparents home after you graduate. I lived with my grandparents during college and it was hard. I went to school during the day and worked at night until 2:00am but my grandmother would complain if I wasn't up by 7:00am. They are dead and gone now and I wish I could see them everyday!! Just finish school whatever it takes! | |
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Expert
Posts: 1304
| Thank you for the reply! I'll definitely be working. As much as I hate to, I'm going to continue being a caregiver because they're flexible and I get a higher pay but I also am trying to get a job at the school farm or a vet hospital I volunteer at because it's related to my field of study. If I really have to, I will get roommates. They're just a headache. Lol. I'm sorry about your grandparents, I love them very much and appreciate everything they've done for me. I really do. They're just difficult as you know! It's the opposite, my grandma complains if I'm not home early enough. Even if I have been working on homework or getting help with homework on campus! Ugh..but thank you all for being so helpful! | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 596
Location: Somewhere in the middle of nowhere | Then move back with the grandparents for as long as possible, at least you know your dog and horse are well taken care of. Take care of business...school, work, animals. It is after all 9-10 months that you spend at your grandparents house, they need you and you obviously need them and you are not there 24/7...you will have time later for yourself but time with them is limited. You will be glad, one day, that you spent the days with them. | |
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