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Elite Veteran
Posts: 794
  
| LMS - 2014-08-27 11:33 AM
Pack her up put her in the car/van take her with you! I'm making assumptions here about her health but WHY do you limit yourself? If you're husband has been afraid to get too far away for 3 years, how much longer are you going to have to wait?? Sorry dumb questions but I totally would be infuriated by your situation. Demands that other family members put on each other is sometimes so unbelieveable! You ARE doing your best, its OK to be selfish every now and then.
She is unable to travel very far at a time and the sale is about 3 hours away.She has congestive heart failure and swells really bad when she is out in the heat so I really don't want to get her out in the heat if we could help it. The whole problem is that we will not step up and say no to them in front of her and once she knows that we are staying she get so excited. I tend to wait on her a little more than is really needed I guess plus I am a really good cook and I love to cook so I fix meals of real food the in-laws will always bring in food for her and she is not big on cold burgers and French fries. I know I brought this on my self that is why I got to just cowgirl up and get over it. LOL |
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 Expert
Posts: 3534
 
Location: Stuck in a cubicle having tropical thoughts | My mom took care of my great-grandma during her last years. She didn't have somebody around the clock, but there was also a nurse aid or two that came during the week also. The family PAID my mom to stay and take care of her because this is what my mom did instead of working.
My guess is the nurse aids are being paid so there is no reason you shouldn't be paid also |
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 Do You Feel Lucky Punk?
Posts: 3156
Location: NM...the Land of Manana | Bless your heart for caring so much! Too bad your husbands siblings are such creeps about it, but you and your husband are to be commended for knowing what really counts in this life! |
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 Experienced Mouse Trapper
Posts: 3106
Location: North Dakota | cavlier - 2014-08-27 2:56 PM
LMS - 2014-08-27 11:33 AM
Pack her up put her in the car/van take her with you! I'm making assumptions here about her health but WHY do you limit yourself? If you're husband has been afraid to get too far away for 3 years, how much longer are you going to have to wait?? Sorry dumb questions but I totally would be infuriated by your situation. Demands that other family members put on each other is sometimes so unbelieveable! You ARE doing your best, its OK to be selfish every now and then.
She is unable to travel very far at a time and the sale is about 3 hours away.She has congestive heart failure and swells really bad when she is out in the heat so I really don't want to get her out in the heat if we could help it. The whole problem is that we will not step up and say no to them in front of her and once she knows that we are staying she get so excited. I tend to wait on her a little more than is really needed I guess plus I am a really good cook and I love to cook so I fix meals of real food the in-laws will always bring in food for her and she is not big on cold burgers and French fries. I know I brought this on my self that is why I got to just cowgirl up and get over it. LOL
See assumptions make things hard! Chin up, someday, when your time comes, there will probably be a very short talk between you and St. Pete at the gates......you truly are wonderful to your mil! |
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 Balance Beam and more...
Posts: 11493
Location: 31 lengths farms | Can your husband take care of her alone while you go to the sale and then when you get back he can take off and get a break?
Also, take it from me, you need to get some ground rules set up NOW on this. Never in a million years would I have expected my siblings to have disappeared like they did when my mom got sick. My mom was the only reason growing up that we led what appeared to be a normal life. My dad is great, don't get me wrong but we were his troops. 27 years in the Marines will do that, if he said "Sh*t!" you were suppose to ask "how much?"
Anyway, get a schedule set, they can't show up they need to trade a weekend, or pay someone to come in. I did this for 10 years,lived there full time, worked a full time job, and came home to taking care of my mom from 6 pm till 6:30 am when I got her up, got her dressed and fed and had to go back to my paying job. The worst day and the best day of my life was last December when my mom had a stroke and it got taken out of our hands, she needed full time care and had to go to a facility. I had completely forgotten what it meant to decide to go to coffee with your fiancé and not have to A) take mom with you or B) find a sitter. God Bless that woman, she deserved all 10 of those years and more but it would have been nice to have had more support from family. My siblings and I are not as close as we used to be and I understand in a way. I feel like looking back I was so overwhelmed I'm sure every time I called it was to ask if one of them could come stay with mom so we could just go to a hotel and take a break, never just to say "hi". And they never called me to ask if I wanted to go do something because it was pretty much impossible to do that, someone had to stay with mom.
Get that schedule done now, the sooner the better. |
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 pressure dripper
Posts: 8696
Location: the end of the rainbow | girl, you are burned out. Take the time and go to the sale. In return give your husband a couple hours of alone time the next day. If you don't get your nails professionally done exchange mini-manicures with your mil while hubby has an hour off. Your mil will enjoy the opportunity to paint your nails & pamper you a bit. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 794
| Well I gave it my best try. Went Friday and stayed until 10;30 this a.m. She has not slept more than an hour at a time . Husband and I took turns helping her but she would have a crying fit when I wasn't up so I would get up to keep her from being so stressed. I finally this morning had to call SIL (or Hubby did) told her to come home we needed help she flat out refused said leave her by her self she would make do. Called BIL he refused then called back and ask if we could compromise If we would stay on today so he is staying tonight and we are relieving him at 5 am so he can go hunting. You know Dove season only comes around once a year. LOL The regular lady will be in tomorrow and we will all get some rest then. For those of you who do this full time Bless you God for sure has a place in heaven for you with a gold crown. Thanks to all who have commented. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | cavlier - 2014-08-31 11:19 AM Well I gave it my best try. Went Friday and stayed until 10;30 this a.m. She has not slept more than an hour at a time . Husband and I took turns helping her but she would have a crying fit when I wasn't up so I would get up to keep her from being so stressed. I finally this morning had to call SIL (or Hubby did) told her to come home we needed help she flat out refused said leave her by her self she would make do. Called BIL he refused then called back and ask if we could compromise If we would stay on today so he is staying tonight and we are relieving him at 5 am so he can go hunting. You know Dove season only comes around once a year. LOL The regular lady will be in tomorrow and we will all get some rest then. For those of you who do this full time Bless you God for sure has a place in heaven for you with a gold crown. Thanks to all who have commented.
Sorry girl, this is not going to get any easier unless the others are welling to help out and sounds like they are just to busy to want to help.They should be soooo ashame of themselves  . Hugs you need many  |
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Sideways Riding Expert
Posts: 11371
Location: ND--it snows, it floods, it snows, it floods | Ok I will say what everyone is thinking.....SIL is a b$tch and Karma WILL bite her in the hind end. |
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A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | docschic - 2014-09-01 7:24 PM Ok I will say what everyone is thinking.....SIL is a b$tch and Karma WILL bite her in the hind end.
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