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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 937
  
| I am having a hard time right now deciding what to do. I know I need to just be patient and see how things play out but I want some other people's opinions and perspectives. Sorry that it will be long!
I am young, only 23 and have no major commitements holding me back, like a SO or owning a house or anything. I have a fantastic job that I love very much working for the USDA. I have a great boss too! I also have a nice place to live and have my horse now and am able to ride.
Now for the downside.. I am 5 hours from any family and I feel lonely and isolated. I have one friend that lives about an hour from me that I see occasionally. I can't really meet anyone my age from work as everyone is in their 40's mostly. Like I said I love my boss but I can't stand my other coworker. She backstabs and causes a lot of drama in the office with the other people who work here and is actually very lazy. Also my boss is transferring offices within the next 2 years, so I will be stuck with this woman for a long time. Where I live is perfect but it is about an hour away from work so that is kind of annoying as well but not a deal breaker.
My dilema is I want to move closer to home and my family, there are periodic openings usually within 2 hours of my house. The problem is I am about to get a raise within the next 2-3 months with the possibility of taking over the office when my boss transfers. Should I stick it out for the long haul for a pretty significant 15-20k raise in the next two years or should I move closer to home and stay at a lower salary but have family and people closer around?
I worry if I stay I will end up miserable because of this other woman, I know she won't respect my authority as a boss because I am so much younger. I also worry that if I transfer closer to home I won't financially be able to compete for 3-4 more years either...
Sorry for the book I just needed to get it all out |
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 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| If she doesn't respect you as boss...fire her. You'd have reasonable cause if she's not getting the work accomplished.
As far as making friends, there doesn't have to be an age limit on who you hang out with. I personally like hanging with a group that's a little older...they are more mature and the drama tends to be non-existent. You said you have a horse, I'm guessing you board since you don't own a place, make some barn friends.
As far as family, I think there are pros and cons to being close enough, yet far away. I get along with my family, but I definitely need some space too. My hubby only cares to see his family for a few hours at gatherings! Is keeping the same level of pay going to take you where you want to go in life? Or would having an extra 20K help you accomplish major goals? (house, horses, etc) If you can find out if you could become boss closer to home, I'd look into that, then your options would be more open. |
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 Night Chatter
Posts: 1907
Location: Mississippi | When I was in my late teens and moved to college, I ended up hanging out with all the horse friends I met-and the majority of them were in their thirties or above. I loved it! They don't have near as much drama!
I understand feeling isolated and lonely. My advice would be to find some horse or similar interest-minded people in your area. You can meet a lot of people just going to local NBHAs or horse shows, even just to watch. I used to take my barrel horse to the roping pen, and that was my idea of fun. We would just cut up and have a good time-plus it was good for my horse AND my budget, since I couldn't afford hauling all the time.
ETA: I think you should stick it out, if you can. You sound passionate about your job, and if your boss feels like you can be in charge soon, I think that is awesome. My uncle worked for the USDA and retired at a young age-built a huge house and has everything paid for.
Edited by CorinthCowgirl 2014-09-16 7:45 AM
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 937
| The problem with meeting horse related people is that my horse is at my house with me and there's an arena and everything there, but I am the only one there. There are no other boarders and I don't have a truck so hauling to shows is pretty much out of the question for another year at least.
I don't have a problem with hanging out with people older than me, I just don't prefer to mix work and pleasure so to speak.
Thanks for the advice so far  |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 596
Location: Somewhere in the middle of nowhere | When I was your age, I was where you are only no horse and I lived so far out that even going grocery shopping had to be planned and in my time there was no internet and free tv (3 fuzzy channels).....my advice to you is don't get in a hurry. If you have time to decide, take it. So you don't get a long with a co-worker at your current job, that could happen at the next job too. Build for YOUR future...make friends online, save for that truck...... |
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 Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | I wouldn't worry over it until an opportunity presented itself. Then you can decide.
And like a previous poster said, if you become boss and there is anyone not respecting your authority, FIRE THEM! It will probably only take firing one and the rest will know you're serious and tighten up. |
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 I Prefer to Live in Fantasy Land
Posts: 64864
Location: In the Hills of Texas | It's evident many don't know how hard it is to get someone fired that has a federal job.. LOL
I don't have any advice as only you know what is going to make you happy. Good Luck!
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| I agree. Getting fired from a federal job takes a lot more than disrespect. I can't really identify with your post. I'm 24 hours from my family on an 80 hour week. 5 hours on a 40 hour a week job is easy. Just go see them!
The truth is, if you're going to run away from a job you said you would do, not to improve your situation, but because there's a nasty dragonlady, you're not playing the game. You should be spending your time figuring out how to recruit her to your cause. Life shouldn't be spent running away. Suck it up, smile, and use the extra money you'll make towards getting yourself a hauling rig. Go volunteer to set barrels at the local jackpots, invite a group of girls to come ride at your place. People won't just jump into your pocket without effort to be available to them. You probably could find someone to take you to the jackpot if you ask.
There's a time to grow up, step forward, and do some things for yourself. There's dragonladies in this whole world. Don't run from them. Befriend them or face them down. I would never be putting the same hours in for less money because of some jerk.
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