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 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
  
| I'm so very sorry for your family's loss.
The best thing to do for a person who's dealing with a loss through suicide is to be there for them. Then seek some sort of professional help, whether through the suicide hotline, pastor, counselor, or doctor in general.
A good friend of mine lost her ex-fiance to suicide several months after they had broken up due to physical and mental abuse. She knew they were not meant to be together, but he tried to blame her (through note) because he felt bad about what he did to her. He couldn't handle himself anymore. While I don't think it's any kind of excuse, she STILL is advocating on his behalf with the suicide prevention network and mental health network. She has found comfort through those professionals and is dealing with her loss while trying to help others. |
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 Love Me Some Robert Redford
Posts: 2335
Location: WV | Sorry for you loss. I have not better advice than what has already been given to you. Prayers for you and your family. |
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 Hawty & Nawty
Posts: 20424
| Sometimes I wonder when siblings get so upset about these things is because they fear they are capable of the same thing. I think uplifting him personally without mentioning the incident is a good idea. Remind him how great he is at things, how he's been such a good husband to you etc. Let him know he isn't his father and does not cope in the same way. Lots of prayers and hugs to you and your family.
Also~what a wonderful woman/wife/friend you are to seek out rational help for your husband. He's a very lucky man. |
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 IMA No Hair Style Gal
Posts: 2594
| Thank you all very much.
Don't have time at the moment to say more. Will later.
Xoxoxoxo |
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  Witty Enough
Posts: 2954
Location: CTX | So sorry you are going through this. I have no advice. You and your husband will be in my thoughts. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1258
Location: MN | I lost my mom and my brother to suicide, and the main thing is for him to realize that NOONE is responsible for that act. I truly believe that once someone gets to the point that they are that sick, there is no turning back, unless there is a physical intervention. The mind is a scary place sometimes that can be triggered by many things to the point where someone feels like going over the edge. Your husband did what he thought he needed to do for himself at the time, make him understand, although a selfish act? They are hurting inside so bad that none of us realize what they are going through, no one does. He is not responsible, he is not responsible, he just needs to hear that... |
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IMA No Hair Style Gal
Posts: 2594
| Thank you again for all the input, thoughts, and prayers.
All I can say is I am totally emotionally drained. Yesterday we got together and planned the funeral. My husband is actually over the initial shock and doing as well as can be expected.
Today we are actually going to see his doctor, and plan on getting a referral for seeing a counselor next week. We are doing our best to be our own advocates and proactive, as my husband suffers from depression, and takes medicine for it.
Since the topic of conversation will seem to be suicide for the next few weeks, maybe months and the last time my husband had a real conversation with his dad, his father told him to kill himself we again are trying to stay one step ahead, because who knows what emotions will come out this weekend with the funeral, and with the grieving process?
I have also arranged to have all guns removed from our house. Again, not necessarily worried, but this is some crazy stuff we have had to go through the past few days. I don't want to be niave in any way.
Each day we are taking things a step at a time. Today we are sad. :-(
ETA-The one good thing that has come from this? I have fallen more deeply in love with my husband. They say that with marriage, through the years you fall more in love. After this I have a better understanding of this statement. He is my rock, I am his....and together we will hold each other and get through all of this.
Edited by magic gunsmoke 2014-12-31 10:02 AM
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 Midget Lover
Location: Kentucky |  |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1028
| I hate that you all are going through this, but so happy that you have each other. Thinking of you all. |
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 Shipwrecked and Flat Out Zapped
Posts: 16390
Location: DUMPING CATS AND PIGS IN TEXAS :) | Way to see the good in such a horrible situation. I'm proud of you. Stay strong, buddy. You are doing an amazing job. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1432
Location: Never in one place long | Thinking of you and your family. I'm sad for you all. Hugs to you all. |
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