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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 596
 
| I have to agree with Ridenfly on this one. You can only push someone away for so long and they will seek elsewhere. JMO | |
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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
 
Location: Phoenix | Just sayin'....asking "want to have sex?" Does NOT put me in the mood. Effort is required by both parties and I will say that if my long term boyfriend doesnt throw some advances my way I am less likely to partake.....I need to be better about initiating. | |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | hammer_time - 2015-03-08 1:09 PM Just sayin'....asking "want to have sex?" Does NOT put me in the mood. Effort is required by both parties and I will say that if my long term boyfriend doesnt throw some advances my way I am less likely to partake.....I need to be better about initiating.
Sexting: it's not just for horny teenagers. | |
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Member
Posts: 8
| I have read enough of these marriage posts over the years to know that they usually go one of two ways, either the man is a loser and the woman needs to ditch immediately, or the woman is bashed for not treating her man right and everyone wants him to leave her. I wrote all of my posts so that I would be the one being "bashed" because I know I need to work on me. Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond, and an extra special thank you to those who offered honest advice. Ouija, I am going to print out every one of your posts so I can read them often. Thank you for your thoughtful words, they have helped more than you will ever know.
So, on to the update:
Friday night, my husband and I had a long talk and I apologized for being a bad wife and not giving him the attention that he deserves. As it turns out, he was actually only mad about the dog! He has wanted her to be an outside dog since we got her (3 years ago) and I have just ignored his requests. So, she has been living outside the last few days and seems to be enjoying it, and he finally started putting in the in-ground fence I had bought 5 years ago.
I have been reading the books that were suggested and trying to work on me. Regardless of what he was actually mad about the other night, I know that if our marriage is going to work forever that I need to find a way to change how I feel and act toward him. So, in the spirit of change, we've had sex everyday since Friday ;)
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
Location: Gainesville, TX | SoConfused - 2015-03-08 1:49 PM
I have read enough of these marriage posts over the years to know that they usually go one of two ways, either the man is a loser and the woman needs to ditch immediately, or the woman is bashed for not treating her man right and everyone wants him to leave her. I wrote all of my posts so that I would be the one being "bashed" because I know I need to work on me. Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond, and an extra special thank you to those who offered honest advice. Ouija, I am going to print out every one of your posts so I can read them often. Thank you for your thoughtful words, they have helped more than you will ever know.
So, on to the update:
Friday night, my husband and I had a long talk and I apologized for being a bad wife and not giving him the attention that he deserves. As it turns out, he was actually only mad about the dog! He has wanted her to be an outside dog since we got her (3 years ago) and I have just ignored his requests. So, she has been living outside the last few days and seems to be enjoying it, and he finally started putting in the in-ground fence I had bought 5 years ago.
I have been reading the books that were suggested and trying to work on me. Regardless of what he was actually mad about the other night, I know that if our marriage is going to work forever that I need to find a way to change how I feel and act toward him. So, in the spirit of change, we've had sex everyday since Friday ;)
So happy to hear this. You all will do great!!! I really respect the way you even knowingly set yourself up instead of hubby. Even though you expected it, it doesn't mean you had to have it. :) So glad to hear about two mature people working to keep their marriage happy and working! | |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | SoConfused - 2015-03-08 1:49 PM I have read enough of these marriage posts over the years to know that they usually go one of two ways, either the man is a loser and the woman needs to ditch immediately, or the woman is bashed for not treating her man right and everyone wants him to leave her. I wrote all of my posts so that I would be the one being "bashed" because I know I need to work on me. Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond, and an extra special thank you to those who offered honest advice. Ouija, I am going to print out every one of your posts so I can read them often. Thank you for your thoughtful words, they have helped more than you will ever know. So, on to the update: Friday night, my husband and I had a long talk and I apologized for being a bad wife and not giving him the attention that he deserves. As it turns out, he was actually only mad about the dog! He has wanted her to be an outside dog since we got her (3 years ago) and I have just ignored his requests. So, she has been living outside the last few days and seems to be enjoying it, and he finally started putting in the in-ground fence I had bought 5 years ago. I have been reading the books that were suggested and trying to work on me. Regardless of what he was actually mad about the other night, I know that if our marriage is going to work forever that I need to find a way to change how I feel and act toward him. So, in the spirit of change, we've had sex everyday since Friday ;)
Now thats really good news, but why did he punch a hole in the wall? Was it just being mad over the dog being in the house?
Hope that it works out for you and your husband. | |
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Rad Dork
Posts: 5218
Location: Oklahoma | So glad to read this update! Keep up the work and I believe it will only get better for the two of you. | |
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  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
Location: Florida.. | SoConfused - 2015-03-08 2:49 PM I have read enough of these marriage posts over the years to know that they usually go one of two ways, either the man is a loser and the woman needs to ditch immediately, or the woman is bashed for not treating her man right and everyone wants him to leave her. I wrote all of my posts so that I would be the one being "bashed" because I know I need to work on me. Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond, and an extra special thank you to those who offered honest advice. Ouija, I am going to print out every one of your posts so I can read them often. Thank you for your thoughtful words, they have helped more than you will ever know. So, on to the update: Friday night, my husband and I had a long talk and I apologized for being a bad wife and not giving him the attention that he deserves. As it turns out, he was actually only mad about the dog! He has wanted her to be an outside dog since we got her (3 years ago) and I have just ignored his requests. So, she has been living outside the last few days and seems to be enjoying it, and he finally started putting in the in-ground fence I had bought 5 years ago. I have been reading the books that were suggested and trying to work on me. Regardless of what he was actually mad about the other night, I know that if our marriage is going to work forever that I need to find a way to change how I feel and act toward him. So, in the spirit of change, we've had sex everyday since Friday ;)
.lol...I bet there are alot of men getting mad at dogs right now.. | |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | SoConfused - 2015-03-08 1:49 PM
I have read enough of these marriage posts over the years to know that they usually go one of two ways, either the man is a loser and the woman needs to ditch immediately, or the woman is bashed for not treating her man right and everyone wants him to leave her. I wrote all of my posts so that I would be the one being "bashed" because I know I need to work on me. Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond, and an extra special thank you to those who offered honest advice. Ouija, I am going to print out every one of your posts so I can read them often. Thank you for your thoughtful words, they have helped more than you will ever know.
So, on to the update:
Friday night, my husband and I had a long talk and I apologized for being a bad wife and not giving him the attention that he deserves. As it turns out, he was actually only mad about the dog! He has wanted her to be an outside dog since we got her (3 years ago) and I have just ignored his requests. So, she has been living outside the last few days and seems to be enjoying it, and he finally started putting in the in-ground fence I had bought 5 years ago.
I have been reading the books that were suggested and trying to work on me. Regardless of what he was actually mad about the other night, I know that if our marriage is going to work forever that I need to find a way to change how I feel and act toward him. So, in the spirit of change, we've had sex everyday since Friday ;)
You and your husband have been on my mind since you posted; please know people are pulling for you two. Like I said earlier, far too many people give up far too soon rather than making an effort to work their issues out----I'm so glad to see two mature people making a concentrated effort to save their marriage. | |
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 Hawty & Nawty
Posts: 20424
| SoConfused - 2015-03-09 11:49 AM I have read enough of these marriage posts over the years to know that they usually go one of two ways, either the man is a loser and the woman needs to ditch immediately, or the woman is bashed for not treating her man right and everyone wants him to leave her. I wrote all of my posts so that I would be the one being "bashed" because I know I need to work on me. Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond, and an extra special thank you to those who offered honest advice. Ouija, I am going to print out every one of your posts so I can read them often. Thank you for your thoughtful words, they have helped more than you will ever know. So, on to the update: Friday night, my husband and I had a long talk and I apologized for being a bad wife and not giving him the attention that he deserves. As it turns out, he was actually only mad about the dog! He has wanted her to be an outside dog since we got her (3 years ago) and I have just ignored his requests. So, she has been living outside the last few days and seems to be enjoying it, and he finally started putting in the in-ground fence I had bought 5 years ago. I have been reading the books that were suggested and trying to work on me. Regardless of what he was actually mad about the other night, I know that if our marriage is going to work forever that I need to find a way to change how I feel and act toward him. So, in the spirit of change, we've had sex everyday since Friday ;)
 Let me turn down the lights for you! Good news! | |
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The Resident Destroyer of Liberal Logic
Location: PNW | SoConfused - 2015-03-08 1:49 PM
I have read enough of these marriage posts over the years to know that they usually go one of two ways, either the man is a loser and the woman needs to ditch immediately, or the woman is bashed for not treating her man right and everyone wants him to leave her. I wrote all of my posts so that I would be the one being "bashed" because I know I need to work on me. Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond, and an extra special thank you to those who offered honest advice. Ouija, I am going to print out every one of your posts so I can read them often. Thank you for your thoughtful words, they have helped more than you will ever know.
So, on to the update:
Friday night, my husband and I had a long talk and I apologized for being a bad wife and not giving him the attention that he deserves. As it turns out, he was actually only mad about the dog! He has wanted her to be an outside dog since we got her (3 years ago) and I have just ignored his requests. So, she has been living outside the last few days and seems to be enjoying it, and he finally started putting in the in-ground fence I had bought 5 years ago.
I have been reading the books that were suggested and trying to work on me. Regardless of what he was actually mad about the other night, I know that if our marriage is going to work forever that I need to find a way to change how I feel and act toward him. So, in the spirit of change, we've had sex everyday since Friday ;)
So great to hear this!!!! | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1273
Location: South Dakota | Wishing you both the very best! I have a lot of respect for you!! | |
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 pressure dripper
Posts: 8696
Location: the end of the rainbow | The sex is a bonus. I am glad you two were able to talk about what was bothering him and reach a compromise that you are both happy about.
Edited by willrodeo4food 2015-03-09 8:12 AM
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
Location: Kansas | SoConfused - 2015-03-08 1:49 PM I have read enough of these marriage posts over the years to know that they usually go one of two ways, either the man is a loser and the woman needs to ditch immediately, or the woman is bashed for not treating her man right and everyone wants him to leave her. I wrote all of my posts so that I would be the one being "bashed" because I know I need to work on me. Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond, and an extra special thank you to those who offered honest advice. Ouija, I am going to print out every one of your posts so I can read them often. Thank you for your thoughtful words, they have helped more than you will ever know. So, on to the update: Friday night, my husband and I had a long talk and I apologized for being a bad wife and not giving him the attention that he deserves. As it turns out, he was actually only mad about the dog! He has wanted her to be an outside dog since we got her (3 years ago) and I have just ignored his requests. So, she has been living outside the last few days and seems to be enjoying it, and he finally started putting in the in-ground fence I had bought 5 years ago. I have been reading the books that were suggested and trying to work on me. Regardless of what he was actually mad about the other night, I know that if our marriage is going to work forever that I need to find a way to change how I feel and act toward him. So, in the spirit of change, we've had sex everyday since Friday ;)
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 696
| oija - 2015-03-09 11:06 AM
SoConfused - 2015-03-08 1:49 PM
I have read enough of these marriage posts over the years to know that they usually go one of two ways, either the man is a loser and the woman needs to ditch immediately, or the woman is bashed for not treating her man right and everyone wants him to leave her. I wrote all of my posts so that I would be the one being "bashed" because I know I need to work on me. Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond, and an extra special thank you to those who offered honest advice. Ouija, I am going to print out every one of your posts so I can read them often. Thank you for your thoughtful words, they have helped more than you will ever know.
So, on to the update:
Friday night, my husband and I had a long talk and I apologized for being a bad wife and not giving him the attention that he deserves. As it turns out, he was actually only mad about the dog! He has wanted her to be an outside dog since we got her (3 years ago) and I have just ignored his requests. So, she has been living outside the last few days and seems to be enjoying it, and he finally started putting in the in-ground fence I had bought 5 years ago.
I have been reading the books that were suggested and trying to work on me. Regardless of what he was actually mad about the other night, I know that if our marriage is going to work forever that I need to find a way to change how I feel and act toward him. So, in the spirit of change, we've had sex everyday since Friday ;)
So happy to hear this. You all will do great!!! I really respect the way you even knowingly set yourself up instead of hubby. Even though you expected it, it doesn't mean you had to have it. : ) So glad to hear about two mature people working to keep their marriage happy and working!
^^^^^^^^^^^ PERFECTLY SAID!! Knowing what you are going through from personal experience, it is hard to improve a marriage once it hits rock bottom but it is NOT impossible!! If it is what you both truly want then never give up. Everyone says marriages shouldn't "have" to be worked on but nobody is perfect and sometimes it just takes effort. Good luck to y'all and wishing y'all the best!! | |
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 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | So glad to hear things are getting better!! Thanks for coming back with an update!
Animals can be a big source of conflict in a relationship. My husband moved in with me before we were married, and we would fight about my dogs a lot. I had to accept the fact that it wasn't all about me and what I wanted. He didn't want me to get rid of the dogs, he just had different ideas of what the "dog rules" should be. At first my attitude was "well they were here first, so deal with it", but that's not a healthy way to treat someone you love. I did compromise on a few things, and he accepted some of the things that I wanted to keep in place. For instance, I'm ok with the little dog being on the couch with me, but he's not crazy about it, so I put a blanket down that she can lay on so there's no dog hair on the couch itself. She also can't just get on the couch whenever she wants, she has to wait until I invite her on the couch.
He also doesn't like the dogs around the table when we eat because they like to beg, so they stay in another room until we're done.
At first I was really annoyed that he wanted to change how MY dogs were treated, but I learned that we have to be able to work together and compromise so that we both feel like we're contributing, and there isn't just one person making all the rules and controlling everything. | |
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 I Don't Brag
Posts: 6960
| So Confused, I am So Happy that you looked at yourself and asked yourself "What can I do?, took action and got a positive result. Even happier still that he responded in an honest manner..... I hope. I used to get arms folded over chest and a gruff "Talk" and when I said my piece, he said......nothing.......for years. Not everyone responds in a rational manner to things like The Love Dare, or Care and feeding of husbands.
Turns out, that this was mostly a communication issue. I hope and pray that as you find a little more peace and security your husband becomes sexier than you thought he was a few days ago. Attraction ebbs and flows in many marriages and commitment, friendship, stability and faith are what get us through those times. | |
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 Husband Spoiler
Posts: 4151
Location: North Dakota | SoConfused - 2015-03-08 1:49 PM I have read enough of these marriage posts over the years to know that they usually go one of two ways, either the man is a loser and the woman needs to ditch immediately, or the woman is bashed for not treating her man right and everyone wants him to leave her. I wrote all of my posts so that I would be the one being "bashed" because I know I need to work on me. Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond, and an extra special thank you to those who offered honest advice. Ouija, I am going to print out every one of your posts so I can read them often. Thank you for your thoughtful words, they have helped more than you will ever know. So, on to the update: Friday night, my husband and I had a long talk and I apologized for being a bad wife and not giving him the attention that he deserves. As it turns out, he was actually only mad about the dog! He has wanted her to be an outside dog since we got her (3 years ago) and I have just ignored his requests. So, she has been living outside the last few days and seems to be enjoying it, and he finally started putting in the in-ground fence I had bought 5 years ago. I have been reading the books that were suggested and trying to work on me. Regardless of what he was actually mad about the other night, I know that if our marriage is going to work forever that I need to find a way to change how I feel and act toward him. So, in the spirit of change, we've had sex everyday since Friday ;)
YAY!!! It sounds like you really want to make this work. It is so nice to hear about someone that is willing to fight for their relationship. | |
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 Love Me Some Robert Redford
Posts: 2335
Location: WV | Good for you two sitting down and talking things out. I'm glad to hear your really working on things. We all have been through a patch or two sometimes in our marriage. Wishing you and your hubby many more happy years together! | |
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