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  Warmblood with Wings
Posts: 27846
    
Location: Florida.. | If hes been a good father then I see nothing wrong with him wanting to be in his kids life more 50% of their time..of course you will lose your child support.. or would here in florida.. if the time is divided thats usually how it works... I know its harder for you as a mom and you did move far away and they are established..I doubt he will win.....but hes their dad and if hes a good Dad (and I dont mean a good husband or ex) ... a dad... then Id try to work something out.. imho.
Edited by Bibliafarm 2015-05-04 7:33 AM
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 Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| Bibliafarm - 2015-05-04 7:19 AM
If hes been a good father then I see nothing wrong with him wanting to be in his kids life more 50% of their time..of course you will lose your child support.. or would here in florida.. if the time is divided thats usually how it works... I know its harder for you as a mom and you did move far away and they are established..I doubt he will win.....but hes their dad and if hes a good Dad (and I dont mean a good husband or ex) ... a dad... then Id try to work something out.. imho.
Yes I know about the child support and honestly I think that's his motivation. He's very financially driven and I haven't gone back for more child support I know he's gotten a raise and he's also gotten a 2nd job that he's making good money at. I'm not gonna say he's a bad dad but I'm not gonna say he's a good one either. He's scaring the kids by telling them his plans like this my daughter was really upset last night because she's worried we are gonna have to go to court. I think the kids are adjusted here and adjusted to seeing him on this schedule. He wants 50 50 yet I am allowed to move 100 miles from him my husband brought that up to him a d he said once I get you guys back here and within my limits I will move to wherever ya'll live. Unbelievable. He also demands the kids say "I love you daddy" if they don't he reminds them call me daddy! It's disturbing to hear and watch my kids faces . |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 915
Location: SE KS | Bibliafarm - 2015-05-04 7:19 AM
If hes been a good father then I see nothing wrong with him wanting to be in his kids life more 50% of their time..of course you will lose your child support.. or would here in florida.. if the time is divided thats usually how it works... I know its harder for you as a mom and you did move far away and they are established..I doubt he will win.....but hes their dad and if hes a good Dad (and I dont mean a good husband or ex) ... a dad... then Id try to work something out.. imho.
Just a titbit from our experience with "summer visitation" & not paying child support. My husbands kids would come for the summer. During that time he didn't pay child support. Mind you she never made a fuss or said anything to him about it. (kids were 3 & 5 when they divorced) When the last kid turned 18, she filed for back child support & medical bills to the tune of $20K!!! Since there was no record stating he didn't have to pay while he had them & the State of Kansas showed he didn't pay it, our lawyer advised up to offer a settlement.
My point is be sure you get it in the COURT documents when & how it child support is paid!!! |
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| I really don't think he has a leg to stand on. Since you have been away for a couple of years or so, very, very doubtful that a judge would make you move back. Getting 50% custody will be problematic because that means the kids would be in 2 different school systems which won't happen. I think he's just going to cost you money with legal fees and some extra stress.
Good luck. |
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| lhighquality - 2015-05-04 9:50 AM
Bibliafarm - 2015-05-04 7:19 AM
If hes been a good father then I see nothing wrong with him wanting to be in his kids life more 50% of their time..of course you will lose your child support.. or would here in florida.. if the time is divided thats usually how it works... I know its harder for you as a mom and you did move far away and they are established..I doubt he will win.....but hes their dad and if hes a good Dad (and I dont mean a good husband or ex) ... a dad... then Id try to work something out.. imho.
Just a titbit from our experience with "summer visitation" & not paying child support. My husbands kids would come for the summer. During that time he didn't pay child support. Mind you she never made a fuss or said anything to him about it. (kids were 3 & 5 when they divorced ) When the last kid turned 18, she filed for back child support & medical bills to the tune of $20K!!! Since there was no record stating he didn't have to pay while he had them & the State of Kansas showed he didn't pay it, our lawyer advised up to offer a settlement.
My point is be sure you get it in the COURT documents when & how it child support is paid!!!
The child support is on an automatic system. I get it deposited once a week. Honestly I don't even care about his child support we would be just fine without it. He's required to keep the kids on his medical insurance too and he complained about how much it was costing him. My husband's company pays for our medical insurance and it cost no extra for us to add the kids to it so we did. Told him he could drop the medical if he wanted to but he has not. My daughter broke my heart this morning on the way to school she talked to me. Told me he's been asking her alot of questions about us and where we live how big the house is etc etc.. he's trying to build a case against me I'm guessing. Yes my 3 kids share a bedroom but mind you its a very VERY large bedroom and they aren't cramped at all. So he's saying oh she doesn't even have her own bedroom .. check... just stupid stuff like that, that won't hold up in court for crying out loud. She said to me if daddy takes you to court, just tell the judge what he did to us when he kicked us out of our house. Very sad deal for my daughter to be subjected to this nonsense. She's 9 .. so not fair. |
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Location: Texas | want2chase3 - 2015-05-04 10:07 AM lhighquality - 2015-05-04 9:50 AM Bibliafarm - 2015-05-04 7:19 AM If hes been a good father then I see nothing wrong with him wanting to be in his kids life more 50% of their time..of course you will lose your child support.. or would here in florida.. if the time is divided thats usually how it works... I know its harder for you as a mom and you did move far away and they are established..I doubt he will win.....but hes their dad and if hes a good Dad (and I dont mean a good husband or ex) ... a dad... then Id try to work something out.. imho. Just a titbit from our experience with "summer visitation" & not paying child support. My husbands kids would come for the summer. During that time he didn't pay child support. Mind you she never made a fuss or said anything to him about it. (kids were 3 & 5 when they divorced ) When the last kid turned 18, she filed for back child support & medical bills to the tune of $20K!!! Since there was no record stating he didn't have to pay while he had them & the State of Kansas showed he didn't pay it, our lawyer advised up to offer a settlement. My point is be sure you get it in the COURT documents when & how it child support is paid!!! The child support is on an automatic system. I get it deposited once a week. Honestly I don't even care about his child support we would be just fine without it. He's required to keep the kids on his medical insurance too and he complained about how much it was costing him. My husband's company pays for our medical insurance and it cost no extra for us to add the kids to it so we did. Told him he could drop the medical if he wanted to but he has not. My daughter broke my heart this morning on the way to school she talked to me. Told me he's been asking her alot of questions about us and where we live how big the house is etc etc.. he's trying to build a case against me I'm guessing. Yes my 3 kids share a bedroom but mind you its a very VERY large bedroom and they aren't cramped at all. So he's saying oh she doesn't even have her own bedroom .. check... just stupid stuff like that, that won't hold up in court for crying out loud. She said to me if daddy takes you to court, just tell the judge what he did to us when he kicked us out of our house. Very sad deal for my daughter to be subjected to this nonsense. She's 9 .. so not fair.
Parenting is more than "child support", the fact you don't care about child support says a lot.
If I ever divorced my husband, I would never ask for a dime. I would simply want him to be in our children's lives, be the best father he could be and be civil with me - not too much to ask for.
I don't think you are doing anything wrong, or should be concerned with his threats. Your children already see what is going on and how he is....
If you need to talk or want other advice, PM me, I've been through the same situation |
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| Thank you for all the replies. These kids want for nothing, they are well taken care and loved .. doing exceptional in school , have friends , we are able to have them grow up on an amazing ranch out here with 2600 acres to go ride horses or whatever on. Cows .. roping, barrel racing you name it we got it here. Ducks, dogs, kittens even a pond with fish lol! My ex is anti rural, best way I can describe it, he has no appreciation for our "lifestyle" and has made fun of us several times that it's gotten back to me what he's said to mutual friends. That's neither here nor there but my husband told him yesterday how good it is for the kids to experience this place we have to let them thrive here instead of being in a city ". Horses keep them busy and out of trouble in my opinion. I already had to sell my last 2 horses because he left me in such a bind I needed the money when we first split I finally got myself back into the horses and I sure don't want to lose them over needing money for court and attorneys etc etc... |
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