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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 628
  
Location: Missouri | First let me start off by introducing myself. I'm 25 a degree in communications and I live in Kansas City, Mo.
I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I'm stuck. I hate my job which is making me hate my life. I find no joy in riding any more, no joy with my bf, nothing. I don't know what to do. My bf has told me that he would pay for everything if I wanted to quit my job, but I don't want him paying for everything because I don't even know if I want to be with him any more. Another problem is if I leave I have no where to go. I have no family, no furniture, no anything to start my life. He pays for almost everything right now as it is. I just have gotten to the point where I really am starting to hate my life. The idea that I will be working this same job, living in the same spot, and doing the same thing every day for the rest of my life really gets to me. I hate it. I love adventure and have even thought of selling everything I own to go and live anywhere!
I feel like I sound like a spoiled brat because I have everything you would want to have owning horses. A nice barn, 15 acres, a bf who supports me, a truck a trailer, 2 really nice 1-d horses, one in foal to A Streak of Fling, but I feel like I really don't have anything because he pays for it. Am I just being a brat? Any ideas on jobs? I would love to do something AG related, maybe teach, but I have no clue where to go or what to do! Anyone else in this spot or am I just having a mid life crises, without the midlife. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 667
| I want to say that I am sorry that you are going through this. I dont have a lot of imput but I will keep my thoughts with you.
What I do have to say is this..... It sounds to me like you want to feel needed and appreciated in a sence. So, I think teaching is a great idea. You most definitely will be needed and you can share your wisdom with others. and if you have a passion for what your teaching, it will make it that much more rewarding. |
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 Own It and Move On
Location: The edge of no where | Read a book called, "The Slight Edge". |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12841
| At related things are always looking for communications people. Look into Ag related magazines, there has to be an Ag related university in MO.. RFD channel. MO must have some kind of extension service. They put out all kinds of pamphlets. I met a lady from somewhere right around KC that sells equipment to vets. That sound pretty interesting. Think about different services available in your area that are Ag related and check with them. Getting out and trying to find something new might be just what you need to get you pepped up and going. Good luck |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1119
| I'm pming you. I was in a VERY similar situation a few years ago and basically hated everything about my life. I'm near KC too! |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | Sounds like you need a friend....I'm in topeka. I'm not far and can always load up and ride. Sometimes we just need someone to vent too, I've been there....kind of felt hopeless. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 794
| Girl you need to get off the couch and live. Start planning trip of adventure, take up mountain climing, sky diving, take trips to some exotic countries. Get out theirs and live. It does sound a little like you are spoiled and want someone else to make life exciting for you but I don't think that is who you truly are I think you are just in a slump right now. I would also go see my family physician and have a really good physical with blood work, check your thyroid, vitamin D and iron all these can cause some mild depression which can lead to what you are experiences right now. Hope things improve some for you. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 324
| I was tired all of the time. I dreaded riding my horses. I couldn't stand to see my boyfriend (we'll call him S.O.) I couldn't tell if I was depressed or what... This has gone on until very recently... It my sound cliche or typical but I swear it can help.
I started setting goals.
Enter a big race with a big payout. Get excited for something...
It'll be hard to find something that's worth getting excited for but it can be done, for me it was NBHA World.
Get a nice prospect maybe, being able to see the consistent improvement will help your motivation.
Also, I started taking vitamins too... I think Iron has helped me the most to not feel so tired anymore. Others to try are Vitamin D, C, ginseng, cinnamon, hair skin and nails, b12, and echinacea if your immune system feeling weak.
Maybe change up your look a little, it'll help give you a fresh perspective. Color your hair or change the way you style it, try a different eyeshadow, maybe get your nails done... A pedicure can go a long way! (I would never do it, but you could do yoga if you're into that sort of thing)
And the hard one: the boyfriend.... My advice isn't solid! I'm still working on this one and I've got to say, I'm getting somewhere but I haven't managed to figure it all out...
S.O. and I had a perfect relationship for about 2 years... too perfect, boring. I didn't want to be with him anymore because I was so bored. He would do or say something that really wasn't that wrong but it would upset me to no end. We have spent the last several months just fighting. I dreaded seeing him, talking to him, really everything. When I told him how I felt he just kept asking how to fix it and I really didn't have an answer, I just wanted it to end. I must've seemed like a real b**** because I was so foul in the relationship and he didn't really do anything to deserve it.
I think that my consistent unhappiness was really the biggest issue. As I started working on my positivity in the other aspects of my life, it got better with him.
Put the other parts of your life before your boyfriend, it may upset him and he may think that you're negelcting him, but if you're able to find happiness in other places, you'll probably be able to find happiness with him too... You may even take a trip together. A weekend at the lake can make a ton of difference, no wifi, no stress, no problems (:
I know it's really long, but I hope you can find something to help you from it.
If you need to talk, I know we're strangers, but it never hurts to have someone there to listen so you can pm me anytime.
It really is all about perspective (: |
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 Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | hoofs_in_motion - 2015-06-29 12:56 PM
Sounds like you need a friend....I'm in topeka. I'm not far and can always load up and ride. Sometimes we just need someone to vent too, I've been there....kind of felt hopeless.Â
This is exactly what I was going to suggest. Do you have any good gal pals/barrel racing friends in KC? Or are you originally not from there?
I'm near STL, btw. Not far from you! I've got family in columbia so occasionally I'll head out that direction for barrel races. You and I are the same age :) I do find myself currently in a rut with my job, I can't stand it. It's monotonous, and i feel bad bc lots of other people would give an arm to have a boss like mine. But I just don't see it being my 'forever career.' So I can definitely relate there. Hang in there! |
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Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | Holy cow....so I just looked at your profile and saw your name. Maybe I'm thinking of someone else but I'm almost certain we're from the same town! I don't live there anymore but...Festus? R-7, specifically???
If I'm thinking of someone else...sorry! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 628
Location: Missouri | Thanks for all the replies. Mo Girl I did go to R-7! Then Herculaneum then moved to Hallsville then to KC To live with the BF. The response on the S.O. That is exactly our relationship. He doesn't do anything wrong per-say but I am constantly not wanting to be around him. There is NO excitement in our relationship any more. I can tell you exactly what we are going to do almost everyday for a year! I love him but I am soooooooooooo bored with him! |
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Expert
Posts: 1395
Location: Missouri | mlh0972 - 2015-07-01 7:31 AM
Thanks for all the replies. Mo Girl I did go to R-7! Then Herculaneum then moved to Hallsville then to KC To live with the BF. The response on the S.O. That is exactly our relationship. He doesn't do anything wrong per-say but I am constantly not wanting to be around him. There is NO excitement in our relationship any more. I can tell you exactly what we are going to do almost everyday for a year! I love him but I am soooooooooooo bored with him!
I went to R-7 also, then Crystal City for HS. I had horses but didn't do any showing in middle school. Started showing WP in high school and didn't get into barrel racing til I was a freshman in college. I think you were a yr ahead of me in school?:) You may or may not remember me. My maiden name is Rebecca Goodwin. |
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Miracle in the Making
Posts: 4013
| how about going to church volunteer at shelters quit thinking woe is me do something for someone else |
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Rad Dork
Posts: 5218
Location: Oklahoma | I read an article a few years ago in some magazine that said a quarter life crisis was a thing. I kinda believe it because I was in your shoes a year and a half ago (minus the horses) and I knew that I was extrememly unhappy. College degree, nice paying job, nice place to live, nice vehicles, etc... but I was miserable. I decided to buy a horse and I've been MUCH happier since then.
I don't love my job, but I will probably never leave it just because it's flexible enough for me to do my horse things when I need to & I work with my husband. I still get down about things even though I have my horses again, but I've found that it helps to have something to look forward to. I like to take one big trip a year and I focus countless hours of my free time planning that trip. Last year it was Vegas for the NFR and the year before that it was going back to NYC. I love getting excited about big barrel races, but I can't seem to keep my horse sound and the thought of races are more or less just depressing. If your horses are good to go then I'd pick a race that you've never been to and make an adventure out of it! I should also add that I do these things without my husband. Love him to death, but he puts into work and our ideas of a getaway vary greatly and so we don't really vacation together. Not saying that's a healthy thing to do, but it's what works for us right now. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3782
Location: Gainesville, TX | Longneck - 2015-07-01 9:36 AM
I read an article a few years ago in some magazine that said a quarter life crisis was a thing. I kinda believe it because I was in your shoes a year and a half ago (minus the horses) and I knew that I was extrememly unhappy. College degree, nice paying job, nice place to live, nice vehicles, etc... but I was miserable. I decided to buy a horse and I've been MUCH happier since then.
I don't love my job, but I will probably never leave it just because it's flexible enough for me to do my horse things when I need to & I work with my husband. I still get down about things even though I have my horses again, but I've found that it helps to have something to look forward to. I like to take one big trip a year and I focus countless hours of my free time planning that trip. Last year it was Vegas for the NFR and the year before that it was going back to NYC. I love getting excited about big barrel races, but I can't seem to keep my horse sound and the thought of races are more or less just depressing. If your horses are good to go then I'd pick a race that you've never been to and make an adventure out of it!  I should also add that I do these things without my husband. Love him to death, but he puts into work and our ideas of a getaway vary greatly and so we don't really vacation together. Not saying that's a healthy thing to do, but it's what works for us right now.
I know something you have to look forward to. ;) |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 628
Location: Missouri | vjls - 2015-07-01 8:57 AM
how about going to church volunteer at shelters quit thinking woe is me do something for someone elseÂ
I volunteer with harvesters which is an organization which provides food to children who often times don't get meals if they are not at school. I have been applying to a ton of jobs. Even if I don't think I can get them I submit my resume. I think some traveling and getting out to see the world will help with a lot of what I am feeling. If all else fails I can sell my horses and find something new to do. I can always get back into horses. Thank you for all the help. I hate feeling like a spoiled brat which in some cases I am because I have a lot. Some times I think we just need people to put that into perspective for us. |
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Regular
Posts: 94
Location: Texas | "The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for" Someone posted that on one of their discussion boards on this site and I thought it was fitting. We all have things we take for granted....just be careful, what you do have can all be lost in an instant (health, job, money, friends and family). |
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