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 I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3314
  
Location: Jersey Girl | So I have not been able to ride since November 2015 due to a CSF leak. I am still prob 4 mos or so away from being able to get back on and thats assuming this next procedure holds.
Before that all happened my confidence was waning due to not really clicking with my current horse. Since then I have wittnessed him buck someone off, due to a combo of saddle fit issues and how they were riding him. (he's not a bucker at all). I now have alot of anxiety anytime he gets ridden (like I am waiting for him to do something wrong). He hasn't done anything wrong since that one incident but I am not sure I can ever get past it. Once I do get sealed and healed getting bucked off would be a huge setback.
So assuming I do sell and get a confidence builder....how DO you get past all of these anxieties and get your confidence back? I have owned and ridden since I was 14. I am now 50 and have NEVER been a timid rider.
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Addicted to Baseball
 
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | I think you are right in getting a horse that you feel comfortable on, even if it's something way dialed back until you're feeling mentally and physically stronger. Start just walking, even if it's around and around in a round pen. After my 2 c-sections just 11 months apart and no riding during either pregnancy from the get-go, that's where I started. I would cool off the horses in the round pen after hubby had worked them. From there I picked the one I trusted most and built from there a gait at a time until I was riding hard again. The next horse I bought after her was a young gelding off the track. It'll come back if you don't get yourself scared or over horsed too soon. |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | A horse you're comfortable with, get an older youth suitable horse if that's what you need, and then lots of saddle time. Start however slow you need to to feel confident and work up. After my brain surgery that came right after pregnancy, I started back with my old faithful who was retired due to soundness issues and we walked. A lot. He had already brought me back from a broken pelvis, broken leg, and my first pregnancy--I trusted him implicitly. I was crazy and bought a 4 year old with 45 rides a few months later, but I felt comfortable on her the instant I stepped on. She turned out to have soundness problems and I had to move on a couple of months after I bought her, but she gifted me with the confidence and physical strength to handle the next prospect that wasn't so easy. |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12842
| Get something that is bombproof and sign up for a clinic. |
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 Expert
Posts: 3534
Location: Stuck in a cubicle having tropical thoughts | I've basically ridden since I was born. My mom sat me on a horse at 3mos, started me in lead in at abot 15mos, then moved up to walk-trot and showmanship. I showed all around in 4-H and local shows/circuits doing all the western and english events on my pleasure mare and I also started barrel racing at about age 9. I stopped the pleasure stuff and got two barrel horses at 14. I won grand champion at 4H level numerous times on numerous different horses. I would jump on any horse, no fear, and go balls to the wall. I used to keep my horses in shape by running full speed around the edge of the hay fields that my dad kept mowed. Then somewhere about age 19, 20, 21ish I started getting anxiety. The mare i had at the time was one of the nicest ones I'd ridden and very quick and athletic, but super spooky and kind of a pain to be around. She'd even spook just standing in her own stall. I could go on about her issues but I won't. eventually when I moved, I was so done with that mare that I left her in my mom's barn and my confidence was shot. I ended up with a big 16HH confidence builder gelding. Which was tough for me because I was used to winning. I rode him about 3 years. With him, I realized I enjoyed walking to the barn and going for a ride for the first time in a long time and I'd load him up and get on at the shows with-out all the anxiety and the feeling of puking. I just enjoyed him. I then sold him and started working on my two younger ones. That was about 5.5 years ago. I was sarting to really get back into it with the oldest of the two But due to getting married, moving, helping grandparents move, my dad going through cancer, my husband changing jobs, I only had time to ride about 6 weeks that year. I rode a lot the next year, Then surprise, we were pregnant and our beautiful daughter was stillborn 3 weeks before she was due. On top of a lot of family members passing away I missed another year of riding. My riding time riding was so inconsistent for years at this point, I had confidence issues and was an emotional wreck. in spring 2015 I sold the mare I'd been riding so I could focus on the one who was always on the back burner. I sent her to a very well known trainer, one state away and went and rode with him a few times. He got her going slowly on barrels and poles because he knows I know how to ride, but mentally I wasn't ready to go full speed. I brought the mare home and I took it slow. Even though him and the mare were ready to go faster, I had to step back and do a lot of walk trotting and slowly intergrating loping. I was literally terrified to lope a circle. I was hauling to a local indoor and using what the trainer had taught me and in a few weeks I was loping big beautiful circles. I ended up cantering the entire barrel pattern the day before Thanksgivng last year. I was so proud of myself and so happy with my mare that I was in tears. Four days later we found out we were pregnant again. I stopped riding right then. And now our beautiful second daughter is 10 weeks old. My grandma is supposed to come over today and watch the baby for a couple hours and I'm hoping to saddle up and get back on for the first time since loping that pattern last Thanksgiving. Sorry this was so long. Don't be afraid to get help. If you are even thinking about selling the horse, just do it. It seems hard to part with them, but there are much worse things. Just list that horse and see if you get any bites. I mentally argued with myself for 6 months over listing the last horse I sold and I figured I could put her out there and see how it goes and I sold her in less than a month. it was just meant to be. THen use a professional to help you find your confidence builder. Take some lessons. You'll be happy you did. Even i you're like me and have ridden forever, it never hurts to get help. My mom is 58 and has been riding since she was 5. There is a one day clinic coming up less than 30 minutes from her house and I'm really encouraging her to go. (sorry this was so long but I've been there, done that, had my confidence shot and I'm determined to get it back) |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 670
Location: Running my kids somewhere. | I know completely how you feel. I was finially given (2 months ago) the ok from the doctors to ride again after 3 back/neck surgeries. I have not rode more than a dozen and a half times in the last 5 years. I sold the horse that I had a slight doubt about. I could not get over it and I have had enough set backs. I had a friend come and ride the horse that I trusted to be sure because of sitting for so long. This helped but I know I am riding the same way I did. I think it was the only way I could have rode again. I am still cautious when I ride.
I'm entering my first show at the end of the month. I have not shown since April, 2009. I am VERY nervous.
Edited by flyingcolors 2016-10-06 2:31 PM
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 395
| Great advice from all. I totally agree on getting a bomb proof (The "MAN") and going to a few clinics.
Edited by free1109 2016-10-06 7:05 PM
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | barlracr429 - 2016-10-06 12:49 PM
I've basically ridden since I was born. My mom sat me on a horse at 3mos, started me in lead in at abot 15mos, then moved up to walk-trot and showmanship.  I showed all around in 4-H and local shows/circuits doing all the western and english events on my pleasure mare and I also started barrel racing at about age 9. I stopped the pleasure stuff and got two barrel horses at 14.  I won grand champion at 4H level numerous times on numerous different horses. I would jump on any horse, no fear, and go balls to the wall. I used to keep my horses in shape by running full speed around the edge of the hay fields that my dad kept mowed. Then somewhere about age 19, 20, 21ish I started getting anxiety. The mare i had at the time was one of the nicest ones I'd ridden and very quick and athletic, but super spooky and kind of a pain to be around. She'd even spook just standing in her own stall. I could go on about her issues but I won't. eventually when I moved, I was so done with that mare that I left her in my mom's barn and my confidence was shot. I ended up with a big 16HH confidence builder gelding. Which was tough for me because I was used to winning. I rode him about 3 years. With him, I realized I enjoyed walking to the barn and going for a ride for the first time in a long time and I'd load him up and get on at the shows with-out all the anxiety and the feeling of puking. I just enjoyed him. I then sold him and started working on my two younger ones. That was about 5.5 years ago. I was sarting to really get back into it with the oldest of the two But due to getting married, moving, helping grandparents move, my dad going through cancer, my husband changing jobs, I only had time to ride about 6 weeks that year. I rode a lot the next year, Then surprise, we were pregnant and our beautiful daughter was stillborn 3 weeks before she was due. On top of a lot of family members passing away I missed another year of riding. My riding time riding was so inconsistent for years at this point, I had confidence issues and was an emotional wreck. in spring 2015 I sold the mare I'd been riding so I could focus on the one who was always on the back burner. I sent her to a very well known trainer, one state away and went and rode with him a few times. He got her going slowly on barrels and poles because he knows I know how to ride, but mentally I wasn't ready to go full speed. I brought the mare home and I took it slow. Even though him and the mare were ready to go faster, I had to step back and do a lot of walk trotting and slowly intergrating loping. I was literally terrified to lope a circle. I was hauling to a local indoor and using what the trainer had taught me and in a few weeks I was loping big beautiful circles. I ended up cantering the entire barrel pattern the day before Thanksgivng last year. I was so proud of myself and so happy with my mare that I was in tears. Four days later we found out we were pregnant again. I stopped riding right then. And now our beautiful second daughter is 10 weeks old. My grandma is supposed to come over today and watch the baby for a couple hours and I'm hoping to saddle up and get back on for the first time since loping that pattern last Thanksgiving. Sorry this was so long. Don't be afraid to get help. If you are even thinking about selling the horse, just do it. It seems hard to part with them, but there are much worse things. Just list that horse and see if you get any bites. I mentally argued with myself for 6 months over listing the last horse I sold and I figured I could put her out there and see how it goes and I sold her in less than a month. it was just meant to be. THen use a professional to help you find your confidence builder. Take some lessons. You'll be happy you did. Even i you're like me and have ridden forever, it never hurts to get help. My mom is 58 and has been riding since she was 5. There is a one day clinic coming up less than 30 minutes from her house and I'm really encouraging her to go. (sorry this was so long but I've been there, done that, had my confidence shot and I'm determined to get it back)
I admire your determination to never give up and keep riding thru all you've been thru. Congrats on the new baby, and hugs for all your past trials. |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | Three 4 Luck - 2016-10-06 8:35 AM
 A horse you're comfortable with, get an older youth suitable horse if that's what you need, and then lots of saddle time. Start however slow you need to to feel confident and work up.  After my brain surgery that came right after pregnancy, I started back with my old faithful who was retired due to soundness issues and we walked. A lot.  He had already brought me back from a broken pelvis, broken leg, and my first pregnancy--I trusted him implicitly.  I was crazy and bought a 4 year old with 45 rides a few months later, but I felt comfortable on her the instant I stepped on.  She turned out to have soundness problems and I had to move on a couple of months after I bought her, but she gifted me with the confidence and physical strength to handle the next prospect that wasn't so easy.Â
Those confidence builders are priceless; I have three in my barn and they are worth their weight in gold. |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | flyingcolors - 2016-10-06 2:26 PM
I know completely how you feel. Â I was finially given (2 months ago) the ok from the doctors to ride again after 3 back/neck surgeries. Â I have not rode more than a dozen and a half times in the last 5 years. I sold the horse that I had a slight doubt about. Â I could not get over it and I have had enough set backs. I had a friend come and ride the horse that I trusted to be sure because of sitting for so long. Â This helped but I know I am riding the same way I did. Â I think it was the only way I could have rode again. I am still cautious when I ride.Â
I'm entering my first show at the end of the month. Â I have not shown since April, 2009. Â I am VERY nervous.
Please come back and let us know how the show goes---Good Luck  |
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I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3314
Location: Jersey Girl | Thanks everyone for the advice...it sure is comforting to know others are in or have been in the same boat as me.
It surely has been a tough year for me. I am hoping this next round of treatmant will stick and I can get on with my life. Also, my dr has advised me against galloping my horse, EVER AGAIN. Honestly don't know if I will follow that advice. That would mean giving up my passion. I will see how it goes and how I feel once I can get back to riding again. |
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I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3314
Location: Jersey Girl | flyingcolors - 2016-10-06 3:26 PM I know completely how you feel. I was finially given (2 months ago) the ok from the doctors to ride again after 3 back/neck surgeries. I have not rode more than a dozen and a half times in the last 5 years. I sold the horse that I had a slight doubt about. I could not get over it and I have had enough set backs. I had a friend come and ride the horse that I trusted to be sure because of sitting for so long. This helped but I know I am riding the same way I did. I think it was the only way I could have rode again. I am still cautious when I ride.
I'm entering my first show at the end of the month. I have not shown since April, 2009. I am VERY nervous.
Please let me know how it goes!! |
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