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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
   
Location: OH. IO | Where do you live?It's not good to have basically no one around you.Even if it's to vent,lol.Let me ask you this.What would you be doing every day if your mom wasn't there??GO DO THOSE THINGS! I AGREE A PARENT CAN CAUSE STRESS living with you.Be careful starting and just stopping meds like that.I think your family needs more room.If momma moved out the kids would have an extra room.It also has to be VERY stressful on the children.Is a camper on your property an option for her? |
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| I have found that when I'm in a funk, I evaluate two things. How often have I been studying my bible and how much have I been working out?
Get in the word, study for at least 30 minutes a day for at least 2 weeks and see what happens. I love proverbs. I also listen to Joyce Meyer.
Jillian Michaels has a 30 day shred DVD that you can buy at Walmart for $10. It takes 30 minutes and two 5 lb weights. Give it two weeks as well and see if that helps.
Don't be too hard on yourself or your Mom. |
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 BHW New Catch of the Day
Posts: 9884
Location: Missouri | Can I ask how old you are? I didn't have the added stress of a mom living with me, but different stressers. I was tired, mad, depressed, stressed out, not interested in doing anything, gained weight and couldn't lose, joined a gym, not motivated to go or ride. I was crabby a lot.
I went to an amazing place that did very extensive blood work, they balanced out my hormones and now I feel amazing, motivated, happy and I've lost weight.
I still have stress but I don't react near as bad as before. I still get mad. I'm normal. |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| tell her your sister wants her to live with them and since your house is small and your financial situation is tight right now, she needs to move in with her. I know that sounds mean, but something has to give and since she is in pretty good health and your sister wants her to live with her, that is where she should go, unless she wants her own place that she pays for. |
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Miracle in the Making
Posts: 4013
| want2chase3 - 2017-07-10 1:08 PM Silly Filly - 2017-07-10 11:56 AM Wow, my mom would call her a piker. She should contribute towards the expenses, since you're not married to Bill Gates........ Does she at least help cook and clean? I don't want to turn this into me bashing my mom, because it's not like that, her living with us, is one of many things that stresses me out.. some days are better than others... just lately it's been a weird environment, because the tension I know she can pick up on. It's crummy to feel awkward in your own home... she likes to take the kids places but I can see her lose her temper with them.. they can be pretty rowdy. She's around alllll the time, we feel bad when we want to take kids out for a family dinner or lunch or breakfast on the weekends because we have to include her and to be honest it's not cheap! I told her last week when my husband got home he and I were going to load up the kids and take them to sonic for a treat supper... she got upset and left and wouldn't answer her phone for hours while she was gone... just stuff like that gets on my nerves.. I never thought it was wrong to want to go spend a few hours with my husband and kids.... without my mother.
dumb question could u add a 14x14 room out side or buy a shed at hd convert too a tiny home bedroom bath mini fride |
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 Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| Tbred - 2017-07-11 12:18 PM
Can I ask how old you are? I didn't have the added stress of a mom living with me, but different stressers. I was tired, mad, depressed, stressed out, not interested in doing anything, gained weight and couldn't lose, joined a gym, not motivated to go or ride. I was crabby a lot.
I went to an amazing place that did very extensive blood work, they balanced out my hormones and now I feel amazing, motivated, happy and I've lost weight.
I still have stress but I don't react near as bad as before. I still get mad. I'm normal.
I'm 41
I'm actually going to see my dr tomorrow who specializes in women's health... going to reevaluate the medicine and get some blood work pulled. I actually felt a little better today but I think it's mental because I'm seeing my dr. |
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 To the Left
Posts: 1865
Location: Florida | I was in your situation for years. My mother would go away for the summer and the last time she came back she came early and called work. I literally threw up at the news. So I did something about it, and lucky for me I could afford it. I bought her a home where she spent the summers and told her it was on the condition she did not come back to Florida for winter. It has continued to cost me some, but how can you put a price on sanity and peace of mind. Drastic, sure, but after spending most of my adult life letting her make me miserable, it is so worth it.
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| vjls - 2017-07-11 12:54 PM
want2chase3 - 2017-07-10 1:08 PM Silly Filly - 2017-07-10 11:56 AM Wow, my mom would call her a piker. She should contribute towards the expenses, since you're not married to Bill Gates........ Does she at least help cook and clean? I don't want to turn this into me bashing my mom, because it's not like that, her living with us, is one of many things that stresses me out.. some days are better than others... just lately it's been a weird environment, because the tension I know she can pick up on. It's crummy to feel awkward in your own home... she likes to take the kids places but I can see her lose her temper with them.. they can be pretty rowdy. She's around alllll the time, we feel bad when we want to take kids out for a family dinner or lunch or breakfast on the weekends because we have to include her and to be honest it's not cheap! I told her last week when my husband got home he and I were going to load up the kids and take them to sonic for a treat supper... she got upset and left and wouldn't answer her phone for hours while she was gone... just stuff like that gets on my nerves.. I never thought it was wrong to want to go spend a few hours with my husband and kids.... without my mother.
We discussed this with her a while back... my husband could easily convert a portable building for her, it was actually his idea. She wasn't too keen on the idea, said something about me putting her in the backyard with the chickens.. I swear sometimes she's IMPOSSIBLE! I will say she really helped me out last night by taking my son to his game because I couldn't get out of bed, I had one of the worst migraines in my life. So I'm glad she was here to take him. For that I was very grateful. |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| vjls - 2017-07-11 12:54 PM
want2chase3 - 2017-07-10 1:08 PM Silly Filly - 2017-07-10 11:56 AM Wow, my mom would call her a piker. She should contribute towards the expenses, since you're not married to Bill Gates........ Does she at least help cook and clean? I don't want to turn this into me bashing my mom, because it's not like that, her living with us, is one of many things that stresses me out.. some days are better than others... just lately it's been a weird environment, because the tension I know she can pick up on. It's crummy to feel awkward in your own home... she likes to take the kids places but I can see her lose her temper with them.. they can be pretty rowdy. She's around alllll the time, we feel bad when we want to take kids out for a family dinner or lunch or breakfast on the weekends because we have to include her and to be honest it's not cheap! I told her last week when my husband got home he and I were going to load up the kids and take them to sonic for a treat supper... she got upset and left and wouldn't answer her phone for hours while she was gone... just stuff like that gets on my nerves.. I never thought it was wrong to want to go spend a few hours with my husband and kids.... without my mother.
A friend of mine actually did this for her mom. It was the portable building that looks like a cute cottage. It works great for them. It is literally only 20 steps from her house. Granny can still be close to everyone but she has her privacy. She still looks after the great grandson when they go to shows and my friend can keep a close eye on Granny as she does have some health issues. |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | GLP - 2017-07-11 1:12 PM
vjls - 2017-07-11 12:54 PM
want2chase3 - 2017-07-10 1:08 PM Silly Filly - 2017-07-10 11:56 AM Wow, my mom would call her a piker. She should contribute towards the expenses, since you're not married to Bill Gates........ Does she at least help cook and clean? I don't want to turn this into me bashing my mom, because it's not like that, her living with us, is one of many things that stresses me out.. some days are better than others... just lately it's been a weird environment, because the tension I know she can pick up on. It's crummy to feel awkward in your own home... she likes to take the kids places but I can see her lose her temper with them.. they can be pretty rowdy. She's around alllll the time, we feel bad when we want to take kids out for a family dinner or lunch or breakfast on the weekends because we have to include her and to be honest it's not cheap! I told her last week when my husband got home he and I were going to load up the kids and take them to sonic for a treat supper... she got upset and left and wouldn't answer her phone for hours while she was gone... just stuff like that gets on my nerves.. I never thought it was wrong to want to go spend a few hours with my husband and kids.... without my mother.
A friend of mine actually did this for her mom. It was the portable building that looks like a cute cottage. It works great for them. It is literally only 20 steps from her house. Granny can still be close to everyone but she has her privacy. She still looks after the great grandson when they go to shows and my friend can keep a close eye on Granny as she does have some health issues.
I was kinda thinking the same thing---maybe one of those tiny house deals? |
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 Expert
Posts: 1440
Location: Texas | It sounds like there are lots of things going on here. Some may be chemical with in you. I take antidepressants and swear by them.....but you cannot start and stop them within a few weeks. It takes a minimum of 3 weeks to a month till you really see any positive effects from the meds and if you stop them all at once it can cause even worse mood issues. It also sounds like you need some you time! You need date nights and kid night where it is just you and hubby or you hubby and kids. If your mom pouts and gets upset that is on her. She will eventually learn to deal with it. Boundaries are important for kids and parents alike. Not bashing mom, just saying that you are not responsible for her happiness and you have to take the time to make you ok for your kids! If your mom doesn't like it well...you have offered her other options as far as living arrangements. Good luck to you. |
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| I visited with my dr today, she's been my dr for 12 plus years and has delivered all 3 of my kids so I have a really wonderful relationship with her. She prescribed me a different medication so hopefully this will work better. Yeah, so my mom is really involved in EVERY aspect of my life and while I should be thankful she's still here, I feel smothered! This is what I was discussing with my dr. She basically just said she should probably try and move out or go visit my other siblings for months at a time to let me have my much needed space with my kids and husband. I am scared to death to tell my mom this but I'm going to have to. |
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