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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 555
 
Location: In the rockies. | cloverleaf - 2017-07-05 7:31 AM Put it back on him- say that since he can't pay you, you've had to take another job. And stay far away from him.
DITTO!!! 
Take the ads down you paid for them.
Don't even think about him again! You will be a lot better off.
Lesson learned.
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 Guys Just Wanna Have Fun
Posts: 5530
Location: OH | BALE----he is not gonna pay you anyway !!!! He obviously does not do what he says pertaining to anything else, why would you think that he would in this instance. |
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16575
Location: Displaced Iowegian | KPwuvsOliver - 2017-07-04 7:57 PM I guess I feel obligated because I've always been very good to my bosses and want what is best for them. I've never had to work with someone that's trying to scam me. My name and number are on the ad. Another weird part of this whole story is he doesn't want his name associated with this mare as he doesn't want to offend the previous owner. More I think about it, the weirder that seems because selling horses is a normal thing to do.
You REALLY can't be that naive .... he doesn't want his name associated with the horse because if someone gets hurt...YOU are the one on the hook for the bad mouthing...... he is USING you and getting the benefits from your work ethic. Walk up to him TODAY and say .... You owe me $$$$ for my work and the ads that I have paid for and I want the money TODAY.....no more excuses.
If you don't....you get what you deserve ....... a life lesson! |
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Location: Not Where I Want to Be | NJJ - 2017-07-05 2:38 PM KPwuvsOliver - 2017-07-04 7:57 PM I guess I feel obligated because I've always been very good to my bosses and want what is best for them. I've never had to work with someone that's trying to scam me. My name and number are on the ad. Another weird part of this whole story is he doesn't want his name associated with this mare as he doesn't want to offend the previous owner. More I think about it, the weirder that seems because selling horses is a normal thing to do. You REALLY can't be that naive .... he doesn't want his name associated with the horse because if someone gets hurt...YOU are the one on the hook for the bad mouthing...... he is USING you and getting the benefits from your work ethic. Walk up to him TODAY and say .... You owe me $$$$ for my work and the ads that I have paid for and I want the money TODAY.....no more excuses.
If you don't....you get what you deserve ....... a life lesson!
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 710
| I told him that I couldn't work for him because I wasn't getting paid timely. He replied asap and said he's 'had my money for weeks' and when I asked if I could meet him for it (we live 5 miles apart) he said he was busy. Then he said he was sorry. But I'm not going to work for him again and don't want to deal with this #%#$% show. |
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 Quarter Horse HIstorian
Posts: 2878
Location: Aubrey, Texas | If I were you, I would cut my losses and cut off communication with him. However, if you must talk to him again, there is a technique for dealing with manipulative people (I learned this when I was a teacher; it was actually taught in grad school) called the "broken record." It goes like this: "Johnny, sit down please." (Johnny) "But he hit me first!" "Johnny, sit down, please." (Johnny) "You always pick on me! Why aren't you mad at him?" "Johnny, sit down please." And so on until you wear him down. If he can draw you into an argument, he will likely win because he is adept at it. If he can't draw you in, he will quit because it becomes work for him and he will get bored. SO, your new mantra is, "I can't help you anymore, I've had to take another job." Statement of fact, no excuses, no wiggle room. Don't be hurt if you look up in two weeks' time and see another girl riding for him. Life is full of tough lessons- ask me how I know! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 710
| cloverleaf - 2017-07-05 8:02 PM
If I were you, I would cut my losses and cut off communication with him. However, if you must talk to him again, there is a technique for dealing with manipulative people (I learned this when I was a teacher; it was actually taught in grad school) called the "broken record." It goes like this: "Johnny, sit down please." (Johnny) "But he hit me first!" "Johnny, sit down, please." (Johnny) "You always pick on me! Why aren't you mad at him?" "Johnny, sit down please." And so on until you wear him down. If he can draw you into an argument, he will likely win because he is adept at it. If he can't draw you in, he will quit because it becomes work for him and he will get bored. SO, your new mantra is, "I can't help you anymore, I've had to take another job." Statement of fact, no excuses, no wiggle room. Don't be hurt if you look up in two weeks' time and see another girl riding for him. Life is full of tough lessons- ask me how I know!
Interesting I will keep that in mind. I think that would be a good strategy in dealing with him because I have noticed he gets very pushy. |
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 A Barrel Of Monkeys
Posts: 12972
Location: Texas | You are young - the most important thing you can learn to do is say no. No explanation needed, just no. And let your no be no and move on. |
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 Queen Bee Cat Owner
Posts: 3629
Location: Way up North | So you feel obligated to do favors for him but he doesn't feel equally obligated to pay you for work you have already done? His bills are more important than yours? Been there, done that. He is NEVER going to change, this cycle will go on and on. Find your self-respect, firmly demand you are paid in full, find an employer that has half a shred of respect for you.
Edited by AllAroundRider 2017-07-06 4:04 PM
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 380
| Take the ads down and get away. This guy sounds like a crook. Is this a well known trainer? |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 678
Location: Canada | A GOOD trainer knows what a horses market value is and would know the local conditions. If the horse was priced fairly and accurately then it would sell. A GOOD trainer would want his name on that horse even if it isn't that great. Not all horses are athletic, or easy to ride, and a GOOD trainer would be able to explain that and help find a home for the horse that was appropriate. A GOOD trainer pays his staff on time to ensure that horses are looked after, staff is happy, and clients are happy with the results
A SHADY trainer will bash someone else for writing a "poor ad." A SHADY trainer will try to hide information about a horse, their history or medical issues. A SHADY trainer says the "cheques" in the mail.
You went there to learn something and what you learned is the exact definition of a shady trainer.
You need to tell your boss that you need to be paid immediately (which you likely won't be --- sorry) and then take down all of those ads you put up with your contact information. He can write his own ads and sell his own horses from now on.
Don't stay there any longer! |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 710
| SloRide - 2017-07-06 2:43 PM
Take the ads down and get away. This guy sounds like a crook. Is this a well known trainer?
Fairly well known in my state. He has a very easy market of the old ladies that have over horsed themselves and they love him. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 710
| RunNitroRun - 2017-07-06 6:35 PM
A GOOD trainer knows what a horses market value is and would know the local conditions. If the horse was priced fairly and accurately then it would sell. A GOOD trainer would want his name on that horse even if it isn't that great. Not all horses are athletic, or easy to ride, and a GOOD trainer would be able to explain that and help find a home for the horse that was appropriate. A GOOD trainer pays his staff on time to ensure that horses are looked after, staff is happy, and clients are happy with the results
A SHADY trainer will bash someone else for writing a "poor ad." A SHADY trainer will try to hide information about a horse, their history or medical issues. A SHADY trainer says the "cheques" in the mail.
You went there to learn something and what you learned is the exact definition of a shady trainer.
You need to tell your boss that you need to be paid immediately (which you likely won't be --- sorry) and then take down all of those ads you put up with your contact information. He can write his own ads and sell his own horses from now on.
Don't stay there any longer!
Thank you. He almost convinced me to work for him again today but I read this and I'm going to text him and say no. I do need the money, but not at this cost. He tried to guilt me and say he needed me and a bunch of other stuff but it's not worth it. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | KPwuvsOliver - 2017-07-06 11:08 PM RunNitroRun - 2017-07-06 6:35 PM A GOOD trainer knows what a horses market value is and would know the local conditions. If the horse was priced fairly and accurately then it would sell. A GOOD trainer would want his name on that horse even if it isn't that great. Not all horses are athletic, or easy to ride, and a GOOD trainer would be able to explain that and help find a home for the horse that was appropriate. A GOOD trainer pays his staff on time to ensure that horses are looked after, staff is happy, and clients are happy with the results A SHADY trainer will bash someone else for writing a "poor ad." A SHADY trainer will try to hide information about a horse, their history or medical issues. A SHADY trainer says the "cheques" in the mail. You went there to learn something and what you learned is the exact definition of a shady trainer. You need to tell your boss that you need to be paid immediately (which you likely won't be --- sorry) and then take down all of those ads you put up with your contact information. He can write his own ads and sell his own horses from now on. Don't stay there any longer! Thank you. He almost convinced me to work for him again today but I read this and I'm going to text him and say no. I do need the money, but not at this cost. He tried to guilt me and say he needed me and a bunch of other stuff but it's not worth it.
Good for you, it feels good to stand up for yourself, you will be worth so much more to someone else, you got that drive to want to be a good hard working girl, this man sounds like a taker and dont care for anyone but himself.. Tell him if you wanted to work for free that you will go to a Charitie group and donate your time there if hes still bugging you to come ride for him. Just start putting the word out that you are looking for a new job to start working horses with someone that needs a hard working girl like you, Good Luck  |
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