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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
  
Location: In The Snow, AZ | We have a 9 year old daughter... I about had a panic attack the one time we left her alone and ran to the corner market. She just seems so young to me to be by herself. Very responsible, VERY smart beyond her years. But she’s still my baby. I’m not usually a worry wart, we live in a safe neighborhood. Our small acreage is fully fenced and guarded by an English mastiff and two aussies... but I still lock the doors and windows at night, because the “what if” is still there, especially in this day and age. |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| want2chase3 - 2018-08-16 10:47 AM To leave a child home alone overnight? I'm so irritated at the moment, my ex has my kids this week... my 13 yr old daughter and of course my 9 yr old Jacob. I found out he was planning on going out of town for a few nights while they are there. I let him know I wasnt happy about it and he said they'd probably only be gone 1 night instead of 2. I text him and said I wasnt comfortable with them staying alone at his home, he lives in town about 45 minutes from me. He seems to think it's safe because of his neighbors. He also said he was picking up one of my daughters older girlfriends to come stay with them too. I just found out that girl wasn't coming now so itll just be my kids. My issue isn't with my daughter, shes babysat for us before but only for a few hours if we wanted to go out to dinner or something, plus my in laws live on the same land as us and are just right up the road. They've never stayed alone overnight. He wanted my daughter to stay at his home while they went to a concert about 3 hours away so she could "babysit" their new puppy. I cant get thru to my ex on anything without a huge ugly fight so I'm probably going to pull his new lady friend aside and talk to her "mother to mother" even though her kids are grown and moved on... hopefully she will understand my concern and understand that if they plan on going out of town, the kids won't be staying over there.
What is the point of having them if he is not going to be with them? Send them to you for the night and go get them after the concert. |
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 Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| rodeomom3 - 2018-08-16 2:06 PM
want2chase3 - 2018-08-16 10:47 AM To leave a child home alone overnight? I'm so irritated at the moment, my ex has my kids this week... my 13 yr old daughter and of course my 9 yr old Jacob. I found out he was planning on going out of town for a few nights while they are there. I let him know I wasnt happy about it and he said they'd probably only be gone 1 night instead of 2. I text him and said I wasnt comfortable with them staying alone at his home, he lives in town about 45 minutes from me. He seems to think it's safe because of his neighbors. He also said he was picking up one of my daughters older girlfriends to come stay with them too. I just found out that girl wasn't coming now so itll just be my kids. My issue isn't with my daughter, shes babysat for us before but only for a few hours if we wanted to go out to dinner or something, plus my in laws live on the same land as us and are just right up the road. They've never stayed alone overnight. He wanted my daughter to stay at his home while they went to a concert about 3 hours away so she could "babysit" their new puppy. I cant get thru to my ex on anything without a huge ugly fight so I'm probably going to pull his new lady friend aside and talk to her "mother to mother" even though her kids are grown and moved on... hopefully she will understand my concern and understand that if they plan on going out of town, the kids won't be staying over there.
What is the point of having them if he is not going to be with them? Send them to you for the night and go get them after the concert.
Because hes so busy jet setting lately with the girlfriend who foots all the bills I suppose. My kids rarely even go over there anymore so he should have plenty of time to do single people things on his own time. He mostly wanted my daughter there to keep his new puppy... I'm going to tell him next time the neighbors can watch your dog not our kids. |
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 Own It and Move On
Location: The edge of no where | Few hours would be fine, but way too young for overnight alone. UGH - I feel so bad for you having to deal with him. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 322
| want2chase3 - 2018-08-16 1:43 PM rodeomom3 - 2018-08-16 2:06 PM want2chase3 - 2018-08-16 10:47 AM To leave a child home alone overnight? I'm so irritated at the moment, my ex has my kids this week... my 13 yr old daughter and of course my 9 yr old Jacob. I found out he was planning on going out of town for a few nights while they are there. I let him know I wasnt happy about it and he said they'd probably only be gone 1 night instead of 2. I text him and said I wasnt comfortable with them staying alone at his home, he lives in town about 45 minutes from me. He seems to think it's safe because of his neighbors. He also said he was picking up one of my daughters older girlfriends to come stay with them too. I just found out that girl wasn't coming now so itll just be my kids. My issue isn't with my daughter, shes babysat for us before but only for a few hours if we wanted to go out to dinner or something, plus my in laws live on the same land as us and are just right up the road. They've never stayed alone overnight. He wanted my daughter to stay at his home while they went to a concert about 3 hours away so she could "babysit" their new puppy. I cant get thru to my ex on anything without a huge ugly fight so I'm probably going to pull his new lady friend aside and talk to her "mother to mother" even though her kids are grown and moved on... hopefully she will understand my concern and understand that if they plan on going out of town, the kids won't be staying over there. What is the point of having them if he is not going to be with them? Send them to you for the night and go get them after the concert. Because hes so busy jet setting lately with the girlfriend who foots all the bills I suppose. My kids rarely even go over there anymore so he should have plenty of time to do single people things on his own time. He mostly wanted my daughter there to keep his new puppy... I'm going to tell him next time the neighbors can watch your dog not our kids.
I do want to add.. as I was once the "new lady friend" lol - I understand the position you are feeling with your ex. I am SO blessed I have a great relationship with my daughters mother. When she is frustrated with the father she will contact me to discuss... this doesn't happen too often. I understand why - they dont have a great relationship and immediately get on the defense and listening in general stops. Sometimes it is easier for her to discuss issues with me as I can relay it in a different manner.
I will also say we have missed our fair share of events, concerts, etc because it was our time with our daughter. We have plenty of time inbetween to do childless activities. There is no reason why he cannot switch days/weekends/ however it is you two have your time set up. If this all comes down to a puppy, what would he do if he were taking the kids on a vacation? Who would care for the puppy then?? |
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 No Tune in a Bucket
Posts: 2935
Location: Texas | Mis_Trev - 2018-08-16 11:43 AM I guess I see this differently than others... To me staying home alone overnight at 13 isnt a big deal. My step-daughter (an only child) is about to turn 10 and although we wouldn't leave her home alone overnight quite yet, we let her stay home alone while we are at work for 9-10 hours during the day and I work 40 mins from our house / her father is easily 1.5 hours away. This was the first summer we let her stay home so we did get her a cell phone. She is also type 1 diabetic, but very responsible, mature, and independent. By time she is 13, I have no doubt we will let her stay overnight by herself.
I am old, but No, No, No, No, No. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | Do you know the 20 whatever year olds???do you know who you are leaving your children with?KEEP YOUR KIDS HOME,LET THE 20 WHATEVERS WATCH THE PUP |
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| jake16 - 2018-08-16 5:33 PM
Do you know the 20 whatever year olds???do you know who you are leaving your children with?KEEP YOUR KIDS HOME,LET THE 20 WHATEVERS WATCH THE PUP
I knew them when I was still married to him they've lived across the street from us, course he was probably 11 yrs old back then. Yes. I agree find a dog sitter. I already made it clear this won't be happening again. |
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Nut Case Expert
Posts: 9305
Location: Tulsa, Ok | A couple of hourse now and then, no big deal if the children are mature and responsible for their age. Overnight -- no way in hell.
I don't care how good of kids they are, they are totally lacking in life's experiences. The chances of them panicing in the face of an emergency are just to great.
They have the rest of their lives to be adults, why push them into it prematurely?? |
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Addicted to Baseball
Location: Where the stars at night are big and bright, TX | I haven't read all the posts. Do you know and trust these 20-somethings? We had just hired a friend's daughter to babysit for us one evening when we'd be getting in late from a business dinner. The idiot invited a pile of friends over and she had one of the boys threaten my kids not to say anything. I came UNGLUED when I found out. Thankfully my kids told me first thing in the morning. I wanted to slap that girl until she begged for help. What if one of those friends was a pedophile or brought in drugs or booze. I was livid. And now working in the courts NFW would I leave my kids alone at that age overnight. |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | want2chase3 - 2018-08-16 6:38 PM
jake16 - 2018-08-16 5:33 PM
Do you know the 20 whatever year olds???do you know who you are leaving your children with?KEEP YOUR KIDS HOME,LET THE 20 WHATEVERS WATCH THE PUP
I knew them when I was still married to him they've lived across the street from us, course he was probably 11 yrs old back then. Yes. I agree find a dog sitter. I already made it clear this won't be happening again.
I don't think it should happen at all,not this time,not ever.It only takes one time for someone to abuse your children. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 395
| No way in hell would I leave my kids there. He is being irresponsible to even CONSIDER leaving them alone! God forbid something happens, you will never forgive yourself.
Tell him to bring the kids home and get a dog sitter. Shame on him! |
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 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | want2chase3 - 2018-08-16 2:43 PM
rodeomom3 - 2018-08-16 2:06 PM
want2chase3 - 2018-08-16 10:47 AM To leave a child home alone overnight? I'm so irritated at the moment, my ex has my kids this week... my 13 yr old daughter and of course my 9 yr old Jacob. I found out he was planning on going out of town for a few nights while they are there. I let him know I wasnt happy about it and he said they'd probably only be gone 1 night instead of 2. I text him and said I wasnt comfortable with them staying alone at his home, he lives in town about 45 minutes from me. He seems to think it's safe because of his neighbors. He also said he was picking up one of my daughters older girlfriends to come stay with them too. I just found out that girl wasn't coming now so itll just be my kids. My issue isn't with my daughter, shes babysat for us before but only for a few hours if we wanted to go out to dinner or something, plus my in laws live on the same land as us and are just right up the road. They've never stayed alone overnight. He wanted my daughter to stay at his home while they went to a concert about 3 hours away so she could "babysit" their new puppy. I cant get thru to my ex on anything without a huge ugly fight so I'm probably going to pull his new lady friend aside and talk to her "mother to mother" even though her kids are grown and moved on... hopefully she will understand my concern and understand that if they plan on going out of town, the kids won't be staying over there.
What is the point of having them if he is not going to be with them? Send them to you for the night and go get them after the concert.
Because hes so busy jet setting lately with the girlfriend who foots all the bills I suppose. My kids rarely even go over there anymore so he should have plenty of time to do single people things on his own time. He mostly wanted my daughter there to keep his new puppy... I'm going to tell him next time the neighbors can watch your dog not our kids.
If he's so busy jet setting all the time, why the h3ll did he get a puppy?? It's not your daughter's responsibility to puppy sit, the dog will be totally fine with the neighbors coming to check on it.
I personally would put my foot down and say if he's not there, the kids aren't there. My mom was one of those people who wouldn't let us go home (literally less than a mile away) while she was at work, she made us stay there by ourselves until she got home (this was during the summer and we were plenty old enough to stay home alone). It's a power trip, control kind of thing "It's MY weekend, you're at MY house!"
I'll stop there or I'll just unload about how ridiculous some parents can be and how crappy it is for the kids. |
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| The gf purchased the dog for him apparently as a surprise. She just doesn't know him yet lol! Truth is he doesn't like dogs, at all. When we divorced he made sure I was taking all the dogs with me but demanded I leave the stupid cat. I wouldn't have left my dogs anyway but still, I feel sorry for the gf and the dog actually. I believe there is a lot of truth to that control thing there. |
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 Night Chat Leader
Posts: 13150
Location: Home....Smiling M Farms | want2chase3 - 2018-08-16 11:25 AM
Agreed. He finally returned my call and said the neighbors son and his gf are staying over there, they are in their 20s. Had he took the time to explain this to me earlier it would have saved me the anxiety attack. Now if he's lying. I'll know my daughter will tell me. I still.think its absolutely ridiculous for them to leave my kids at home while they go to an overnight concert 3 hours away. I do know this, in the future, when my kids are scheduled to go over there for the weekend they'd better stay home or my kids won't go... plain and simple. Buy a puppy. Deal with the consequences...
This just doesn't set right with me. How well do you know his neighbors son and his gf? Who's to say they won't be making out on the couch in front of the kids or something of that nature?
If it's his weekend and he's not going to be around, then the kids don't go. No way, no how. That's just my opinion. Bring the puppy to your place. |
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Expert
Posts: 1586
Location: west of East Texas | My oldest is 21 and I don't think she stayed alone until she went to college because she was just a big chicken. My youngest is a few weeks away from sweet 16 and she's never stayed alone either. It wouldn't bother her, I just don't do it. I switch nights with her dad if I need to be out of town. We live out in the country and only about 2 miles down the road from each other but still.... nope, she goes to the other parent if needed. I might consider it once she has her license and can drive herself around but not yet.... |
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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | My son just turned 14, no way he is staying home alone overnight. For a couple of hours during the day, sure. But he has a phone, we have a doberman, the doors stay locked, and he doesn't open them for anyone. We live in the city, nice neighborhood, my son goes to a "privileged school" as his principal puts it, friendly neighbors, my husband works less than a mile away. We also found a stolen car in our alley parked at our gate that had been in a police chase the night before and was ditched. Inside the car were knives, guns, and stolen electronics. Bad things happen in good neighborhoods. Bad people don't say "Oh.. this is where the nice people live, we can't go any further."
I don't think my son is going to throw a house party. I don't want my son in a situation where he can't protect himself.
Another thing... if I had a 13 year old daughter... hell would freeze before the neighbor's 20 year old son stayed the night with her, I don't care if he has a girlfriend or not. |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12838
| Children sometimes make bad choices or make bad choices when they are alone simply because they are not adults. Will keep this short. Two of my students were hunting and their dad had taken them to the deer stands. They were told not to get out until he came to get them. They got bored and got out of the stands and met in the woods. They sat down under a tree and were just talking. One was fiddling with his gun and it when off hitting his brother in the upper led. Somehow the younger kid got his brother to the hospital by flagging a truck down. After 28 pints of blood they ended up amputating the older kid’s leg. These two boys got along so well and wee good boys BUT kids do things they would not do with adult supervision. Stuff happens. (This was way before cell phones). Suppose someone breaks in the house? Suppose the house catches on fire? Uh, I think that is why they need a parent around.
I really think CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES would frown on this. Better safe than sorry. |
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Regular
Posts: 89
| I have a 10 yr old and I would never leave her by herself for more than 30 mins to an hour. Do I trust her yes... but I don't trust the world it's crazy out there. I took a new job the beginning of this summer and was unable to get her a day camp program so her 20 yr old brother stayed home with her even though he works nights. He did sleep a lot but was there in case anything went wrong. I just skimmed through the posts so I don't know if I'm speaking out of turn my niece is type 1 diabetic and she does everything right the way she is supposed to but she has had some incidents where her blood sugar has not done right let me tell you its a scary feeling when you get that call from her college roommate that you need to get down to there because something is wrong. Thank God that she has the same roommate this year. Things can just go south so quick, and puppies on the ceiling is not a good thing I promise you. But you know your child best and know what they are capable of. |
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| I did some research on the matter unfortunately hes not breaking any laws by leaving them home alone here in the great state of Texas. I wouldn't have a leg to stand on in a court other than it's not morally right, it's not against the law. Fortunately the weekend was without incident but it still angers me he left them overnight depending on neighbors to keep an eye on them. |
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