He's shown no remorse just his typical anger. He definitely has anger issues on top of being an alcoholic. Doesn't drink every day but has to get drunk when he drinks and gets mean. This last deal was in front of the boys so I'm requiring supervised visitation which totally ****ed him off! Take control away from a narcissist and watch their head spin. 

Awww girl, got you and the boys in my prayers, you stay safe

I won't go into a lot of detail, but Chris had to have supervised visitation at either his mother's or his father's house, couldn't drive with Chandler after dark, and couldn't cross state lines (he was living in MS with his gf at the time)--he was not a happy man either.  It reached the point where he wouldn't even come back to AR for his weekends. . . Thankfully once he and the gf ended and he moved back to AR, he and Chandler got back to a better relationship before Chris died.  

So sorry. My divorce took 4 months and we had absolutely nothing. No house and no kids. 

So it looks like I just wait it out ??. No tears for him, but man the anger I feel some days for turning our world upside down. I am normally such an upbeat person, but some evenings when the boys are in bed I feel like I'm drowning in frustration. I am a planner and not knowing even where I'll live next month is awful. We can't sell anything but I've pretty well packed all the small things I want in the house and put in storage.  He and his dad who I have saved from getting a beating twice, will soon figure out how much I did. 

Hang tough girl.  I know it's hell, but you are the stronger one.  I know it's easier said than done, but don't let the anger waste your energy and hope.  You'll get through this & so much better & stronger for it!

Every state has a little bit different rules.  I have not looked to see what state you are in. 

Courts - Keep in mind that COVID has really put the cases behind regardless of which type.  Your divorce and his criminal proceeding will be on different dockets, different judges and a different back log to deal with.

Given you do have criminal charges pending - that will slow things down without COVID.  Your boys are of age that their opinion of where they want to reside could be taken into consideration also. 

Whatever can be agreed up PRIOR to going to Court is your best option. (I realize this is not always possible).  You can give your attorney the information to draw up and present to his counsel and if an agreement is reached that is great - Judges like it when they do not have to make all of the decisions when it comes to your pesonal affairs and children.  Back to t statement above about every state being different - some states require mediation before you can go in front of th judge.  

As for a time frame - a judge can rule on different portions of a divorce prior to granting a final decree and you can go back to court to enforce any court order following the divorce - for years.  Every time you ask your attorney to do something - the price goes up and the attorney works for you, but that said attorney wants those billable hours also.

I would ask your attorney what the back log is on the dockets and then what you would propose for settlement and go from there.  Mind you. . your soon to be ex may not agree to anything until the criminal matter is decided. I hate to say it, but you need to be pro-active and run your own case and push an attorney some times to move things along. Court rules always rule though on their time frame.

(((HUGS))) to you and your boys.  Relationships are tough and divorces are tougher.

I asked my lawyer Thursday what we need to do to get things rolling. Friday he said he's not willing to divide anything piecemeal so I gave a 3 page list of my demands and mentioned I'm not negotiable on much. It's fair and not a person other than maybe him, would think it wasn't. He should have taken my first offer, but instead ran and got a lawyer. 

Now that he has lawyered up I wouldn't back down from what you deserve.

My first divorce was fairly simple (no kids, no property) and we parted fairly amicably.  HOWEVER, he did pull some things that I would have never thought he would have done. 

Just be warned that you need to take care of you and make sure your big girl panties are pulled up high and tight, cause it might get rough.