I am not currently a frequent visitor to this forum but in years past spent many hours here absorbing information and advice. I am now faced with a difficult decision, one that I see has been posted on a few times before, but I think my situation is slightly different and I’m seeking some input and peace of mind.

I have a 20 y/o Paint gelding that has been with me most of his life. Last year, he was diagnosed with ringbone arthritis in one front leg. He has been on Equioxx since that diagnosis. With that and pads on the front, he has been sound enough to ride.

Prior to the barn he has been at for the last two years, he was pastured with other horses. At this place, however, he is in a large pen (1/3 acre ish) and has shown a lot of fence aggression toward other horses and the barn manager is unwilling to experiment turning him out with others (which I don’t blame her for). I had him tested to make sure he was a true gelding, because he also displayed stud like behavior in the presence of mares, and he is. More recently, I had him tested for Cushings, as the vet thought that might explain some of the behavior. He tested positive. He is now on pergolide to manage that diagnosis. The barn manager is still very reluctant to turn him out, which I again do not begrudge her for, as I understand her job is to prevent injury to other horses.

I have two kids, three years old and under, and find that I can only make it to the barn about once a week. My time is super limited and when I do have free time, I am pulled toward spending it with my family. When I do make my weekly visit, I typically groom him, hand graze him, and address a few other chores. The barn manager is on site seven days a week so he has almost constant oversight, but I have a ton of guilt about the fact that he is by himself and not frequently ridden or otherwise exercised. If I could ride three or four times a week keeping him alone wouldn’t seem like a big issue to me, but as it is, I don’t think it’s fair to him.

I have reached out to ten other barns in the area, to see if there’s any other situation that might be a better fit for him and make me feel better as well. So far, I haven’t had a lot of promising responses. I think most other barn owners will have similar concerns as our current barn manager. I have considered rehoming him, because I do feel that he has some good rides left in him, but with all of his maintenance needs and potential behavioral issues, I worry that he might end up in the wrong hands.

With all of that said, I am considering euthanasia. I have discussed that with his vet, and she said that there is no ethical concern with that from her perspective. But of course, it breaks my heart. It’s not his fault that I am in a chapter of life that hugely limits my time or that he has some issues that make him very difficult to rehome. Ultimately, when I think of watching him stand alone in a pen for another winter, I have to ask myself “why?” But when I see him, he is always super happy to be caught and hand grazed. He generally seems happy in his pen. And, we have a strong bond.

Does anyone have input on this? Has anyone faced something similar?

I think you have to look into your heart & make the decision that is right for you and him so that you can be at peace with your decision. I know that's not a helpful answer but I think only you can make the decision. You should not feel guilty at all. From your post it's clear to see you love the horse & want what is best for him

If you feel that he does have some rides left in him and QUALITY of life---I would find a home for him, be nice to find a young kid to love on him and will also be lighter when riding. BUT---be very careful about rehoming him if giving away, there are a lot of scammers that will get him and then just send him to a sale, so do some research on whoever is getting him.

Horses don't really want to be ridden. We like to think they do. But they'd rather just spend their days walking around grazing or looking for wisps of hay. Not being able to ride wouldn't be a reason I would euthanize a horse. But if it's too hard for you to take care of him, and I can't imagine how hard that is with two kids under three, or you can't afford to take care of him, whatever reason you don't want to or can't, I would not rehome this horse. I would euthanize him. He's not young, he's aggressive towards other horses, and he's got Cushings. He would be at risk if you rehomed him. Unless you really know the person very very well. But we've all heard stories. 

It's a hard thing to do to do the right thing for the horse when it breaks our heart to do it. If you could afford it, I would just leave him there and check on him regularly, not worry about riding, get that pressure off yourself, get those kids a little older, and THEN make a decision. See how it goes. But don't feel guilty about not riding him. He doesn't care. 

In more cases than we want to admit it isn't death that is hard for the horse..it is life.   I have 2 20  year old geldings - we don't use them any longer but I won't sell them or give them away.   When I cannot care for them any longer they will be euthanized.   So may older horses don't get the feed, the dental the foot care they require.  It isn't fair to them.

Thanks for having the courage to post this difficult topic.  I hope you make the right decison for your horse and yourself!