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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 357
 
Location: Canada | I'm 24 and single so I'm not in a position where I will be truly considering having a child anytime soon but the idea of it terrifies me. Being pregnant, giving birth, and then the responsibility and sacrifices of being a parent is overwhelming and scary. I don't know if I'll always feel this way but I think it is normal to be unsure/worried of the unknown. | |
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Veteran
Posts: 220
| I felt the same way before I got pregnant. I thought everything about it was miserable and gross. I saw nothing beautiful about any of it. I hated my body and the restrictions people were trying to place on me. I honestly never wanted kids because anything I saw people looked miserable, tired, and I wanted no part of that. I liked my freedom, sleep, and nothing tying me down. But I knew my husband wanted one so I took the jump and got pregnant. None of it was near as bad as I thought it would be, or how some women make it out to be. It really wasnt bad at all. And the delivery was not bad either. I just didnt like being pregnant period. I am going to give you the best honest answer. I love my daughter with all my heart and would not trade her for anything. But your life will never be the same and completly change. And until you are absolutly without a doubt ready to basically have your life revolve around that little bundle, do not do it until then. I went into post partum depression 4 days after delivery. My DR he has never diagnosed it that early but I had it for sure. I struggled with the fact of always needing help and everything I did revolved around someone else. But I have come a long way since then and love my daughter more than anything. Life is alot harder when it comes to doing anything but the when I see her smile and hear her giggle. It is all worth it. But I am one of those people I love my kid and only my kid. | |
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Veteran
Posts: 220
| And yes, you are smart and completly normal for feeling that way. | |
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Veteran
Posts: 220
| I agree with the statement God only gives you what you can handle, and I truely believe he gave me the child that was perfect for me. Because I had a friend who had a colicy baby and was up all night for almost a year. Not sure if I wouldnt be locked up on the funny farm at this point if my daughter was that way lol! | |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7545
  
| Whit37 - 2014-01-23 10:45 AM I'm 24 and single so I'm not in a position where I will be truly considering having a child anytime soon but the idea of it terrifies me. Being pregnant, giving birth, and then the responsibility and sacrifices of being a parent is overwhelming and scary. I don't know if I'll always feel this way but I think it is normal to be unsure/worried of the unknown.
I'm only a little younger than you but I feel the same way.
OP, don't take what I am about to say to heart, it is only my opinion and perspective of myself. You are you and I am, well, me!
I don't know if I could do it - be a parent that is. The thought of it all absolutely terrifies me. I don't think I'd make a good parent at all. I like to do my own to thing and in general like to be left the heck alone. I don't know how or if I could handle giving up everything for a child. Talk about the ultimate invasion of privacy. LOL. I knew from a young age too. I didn't like playing with baby dolls, playing "house", or pretending pretending to be mommy. I never wanted to hold babies and still would rather not. I remember being a teeny bopper and avoiding babies like the plague while my cousins who were close to my age were falling all over themselves to have a chance at holding them. It is still like that, although much more awkward. I inadvertently offended my aunt not too long ago by declining to hold my newest cousin. He is about 16 months old now. He loves to pull hair and get into all sorts of mischief. He is adorable and funny to me - from a safe distance. LOL. I don't think child rearing should be done at a distance, and do not believe I'd be a good parent due to that and a myriad of other reasons.
ETA: I guess my point is to really get to know yourself, and to stand your ground with whatever you choose. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, and you have to love the whole experience. Not only that, but other people to make us doubt our choices all the time. If you have kids, you're selfish. If you don't have kids, you're selfish. If you don't like kids, you're evil and something is obviously wrong with you. If you like children you are required to have one or adopt....it's all silly BS. Only you know you, and only you should make the decision. DO NOT let anyone pressure you one way or the other. I hope that makes sense.
Edited by Just Plain Lucky 2014-01-23 11:18 AM
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 602
| The great thing about technology is that the doctor can determine the baby's health pretty quick while you are pregnant. You would be surprised how much you love your baby even if he/she does have a health issue. My daughter was born with hip dysplasia and that was determined within a few hours after birth. Within 24 after birth I had a specialist come take a look at her and he put her in a full body sling. (I cried alot because she couldnt move around alot) but I appreciate the steps we took to make sure she could live a normal life. We thought she would have issues crawling, walking, or running. Well she is almost 2 years old and you would never know she was born with a hip issue. Im greatful for medical research and technological advances. | |
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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | Just Plain Lucky - 2014-01-23 9:05 AM Whit37 - 2014-01-23 10:45 AM I'm 24 and single so I'm not in a position where I will be truly considering having a child anytime soon but the idea of it terrifies me. Being pregnant, giving birth, and then the responsibility and sacrifices of being a parent is overwhelming and scary. I don't know if I'll always feel this way but I think it is normal to be unsure/worried of the unknown.
I'm only a little younger than you but I feel the same way.
OP, don't take what I am about to say to heart, it is only my opinion and perspective of myself. You are you and I am, well, me!
I don't know if I could do it - be a parent that is. The thought of it all absolutely terrifies me. I don't think I'd make a good parent at all. I like to do my own to thing and in general like to be left the heck alone. I don't know how or if I could handle giving up everything for a child. Talk about the ultimate invasion of privacy. LOL. I knew from a young age too. I didn't like playing with baby dolls, playing "house", or pretending pretending to be mommy. I never wanted to hold babies and still would rather not. I remember being a teeny bopper and avoiding babies like the plague while my cousins who were close to my age were falling all over themselves to have a chance at holding them. It is still like that, although much more awkward. I inadvertently offended my aunt not too long ago by declining to hold my newest cousin. He is about 16 months old now. He loves to pull hair and get into all sorts of mischief. He is adorable and funny to me - from a safe distance. LOL. I don't think child rearing should be done at a distance, and do not believe I'd be a good parent due to that and a myriad of other reasons.
ETA: I guess my point is to really get to know yourself, and to stand your ground with whatever you choose. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, and you have to love the whole experience. Not only that, but other people to make us doubt our choices all the time. If you have kids, you're selfish. If you don't have kids, you're selfish. If you don't like kids, you're evil and something is obviously wrong with you. If you like children you are required to have one or adopt....it's all silly BS. Only you know you, and only you should make the decision. DO NOT let anyone pressure you one way or the other. I hope that makes sense.
I'm the same way. My worst nightmare is getting pregnant. I'm going to be he worst hypocrite if it actually happens. Luckily the hubby is on the same page as me. I'm terrified of it. There's no way I could be a good mother. Or that I could afford it, | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 357
Location: Canada | Just Plain Lucky - 2014-01-23 11:05 AM
Whit37 - 2014-01-23 10:45 AM I'm 24 and single so I'm not in a position where I will be truly considering having a child anytime soon but the idea of it terrifies me. Being pregnant, giving birth, and then the responsibility and sacrifices of being a parent is overwhelming and scary. I don't know if I'll always feel this way but I think it is normal to be unsure/worried of the unknown.
I'm only a little younger than you but I feel the same way.
OP, don't take what I am about to say to heart, it is only my opinion and perspective of myself. You are you and I am, well, me!
I don't know if I could do it - be a parent that is. The thought of it all absolutely terrifies me. I don't think I'd make a good parent at all. I like to do my own to thing and in general like to be left the heck alone. I don't know how or if I could handle giving up everything for a child. Talk about the ultimate invasion of privacy. LOL. I knew from a young age too. I didn't like playing with baby dolls, playing "house", or pretending pretending to be mommy. I never wanted to hold babies and still would rather not. I remember being a teeny bopper and avoiding babies like the plague while my cousins who were close to my age were falling all over themselves to have a chance at holding them. It is still like that, although much more awkward. I inadvertently offended my aunt not too long ago by declining to hold my newest cousin. He is about 16 months old now. He loves to pull hair and get into all sorts of mischief. He is adorable and funny to me - from a safe distance. LOL. I don't think child rearing should be done at a distance, and do not believe I'd be a good parent due to that and a myriad of other reasons.
ETA: I guess my point is to really get to know yourself, and to stand your ground with whatever you choose. It's not all sunshine and rainbows, and you have to love the whole experience. Not only that, but other people to make us doubt our choices all the time. If you have kids, you're selfish. If you don't have kids, you're selfish. If you don't like kids, you're evil and something is obviously wrong with you. If you like children you are required to have one or adopt....it's all silly BS. Only you know you, and only you should make the decision. DO NOT let anyone pressure you one way or the other. I hope that makes sense.
You just described me to a tee! Glad to know I'm not alone 
I always joke that if you give me a foal, calf, puppy, etc I know exactly what to do.... but hand me a baby human and I'm lost
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | You'd be surprised how much your instincts kick in. I looked at it a little differently tho. Not a baby person at all, but I figured they couldn't be too much different from puppies and horses.  | |
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 Expert
Posts: 3534
Location: Stuck in a cubicle having tropical thoughts | This post reminds me of a quote from Ty Murray when he was talking about bull riding and fear. He said "You're never really ready, it's just eventually your turn". | |
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 WOOO HOOO!
Posts: 2018
Location: CA | I just had my first baby last year. I was terrified.. not about starting a family or being able to afford it. Just the medicial aspect of it. I wanted my baby to healthy and perfect and I did everything I could possibly do to insure that. All you can do is take care of yourself and pray. I had one of those horror stories due to horrible doctors. I'm not trying to freak anyone out but you should prepare your self for anything because it's not a walk in the park. I lived in a hospital for weeks while my son was in the ICU. I was pretty sure I wouldn't be coming home with him. But I prayed, my family prayed.. They told me all the things that "would" be wrong with him but he continued to prove them wrong time after time. It was the hardest time in my life but I wouldn't change it.. He's a happy normal 4 month old, he's even advanced for his age. If you decide to have a baby educate yourself. Learn everything you can about pregnancy & Labor, including whats in vaccines and nutrition. Learning all you can seems to take some of the fear out of it. And when it comes down to labor and your hospital stay you can stay in control.
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 Expert
Posts: 2276
Location: ohio-in my own little world with pretty ponies :) | Everyone is different. for me, I honestly feel like I'm meant to be a mother. I've always felt like that and I cannot wait until the time is right for us to have a baby. Definitely not any time soon that's for sure but I don't feel scared or weird about it for some reason. My sister has had 2 kids and was nervous and worried both times...if you want it then do it. Don't do it because someone else wants you to. | |
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 I'm Here!!
Posts: 4583
Location: Is it Summer Yet? | I don't remember being scared, I remember being stressed, the stress level was beyond high. I would recommend some how keeping the stress level down because I do think it has had an effect on my son. My son now has a fear of me leaving him, I do think this is something he developed when he was inside of me. All that stress couldn't be good for him.
But I will say those 9 mths of pregancy is the easiest it will ever be. Once that baby is born, it's just gets busier, that baby starts walking, then they start talking. Then they go to school, they start hockey. They make their own opinions, they share those opinions. They have an attitude. See where I'm going? Pregancy is the easy part. Sent you a PM too with more of my story. | |
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