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Elite Veteran
Posts: 667
  
| For those of you who have done it.... or whom have opinions...
when you start talking to someone, how long do you text before you have an actual over the phone conversation.... then how long till you meet up...
seems like some want to meet right away and others just text and email and take it much slower.
Edited by TNcowgirl88 2014-02-28 10:51 AM
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  Independent Cuss
Posts: 3978
 
Location: Dearing, GA | TNcowgirl88 - 2014-02-28 10:48 AM
For those of you who have done it.... or whom have opinions...
when you start talking to someone, how long do you text before you have an actual over the phone conversation.... then how long till you meet up...
seems like some want to meet right away and others just text and email and take it much slower.
Ok everybody knows that I tried this and dated a guy for about two years that I'd met online. I like to take it slow so we talked for a two months before I met him in person. However I gave him my phone number after two days because we just clicked. Other guys I wouldn't give my number to at all since I just didn't feel "it." I think it all depends on what your gut feeling is. Also, if a guy is pressuring you to text or meet before you're ready, say adios. There are plenty out there who will respect your time frame. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2276
Location: ohio-in my own little world with pretty ponies :) | My best friend met someone online on a dating website. They messaged each other on there for about a week and then they started texting and talking on the phone for a couple months and added each other on Facebook and other social networks and she just met him in person last week and he wasn't a weirdo! I think he's actually better than anyone she has met in real life at first lol!!! |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 304
Location: SW North Dakota | I'm currently doing the whole online dating thing. The guys I'm talking to have all been about the same - message each other for about a week and then if we seemed to be hitting it off, move it to a text conversation . I have talked to both types...the one that wants to meet up right away and the ones that say they want to meet you and then just keep texting... I have found that its way better to meet up right away because I end up picturing them way differently. That might be just me though. lol.
I did meet one guy last week...we had only messaged and texted each other, we never did have an actual phone coversation. We met up at a restaurant and had lunch and great conversation for 3 hours. We really hit it off and I've got my second date with him tomorrow.
I'm not sure if it would work out the same for you or not. I would say just trust your gut when it comes to meeting someone.
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 667
| klutz02 - 2014-02-28 11:56 AM
I'm currently doing the whole online dating thing. The guys I'm talking to have all been about the same - message each other for about a week and then if we seemed to be hitting it off, move it to a text conversation . I have talked to both types...the one that wants to meet up right away and the ones that say they want to meet you and then just keep texting... I have found that its way better to meet up right away because I end up picturing them way differently. That might be just me though. lol.
I did meet one guy last week...we had only messaged and texted each other, we never did have an actual phone coversation. We met up at a restaurant and had lunch and great conversation for 3 hours. We really hit it off and I've got my second date with him tomorrow.
I'm not sure if it would work out the same for you or not. I would say just trust your gut when it comes to meeting someone.
It's been the exact same with me.. there have been a few that want to meet right away.. and then the one that I have moved slower with has yet to ask to meet.. we have great text conversations..have not had a phone convo yet... he is the one that I would like to meet.
And I agree.. I would rather meet right away because I am afraid that I may picture him totally different. after all I am not looking for a phone/ text relationship so I don't know why you wouldnt want to meet?
Maybe that is me being impatient? i dont know. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 304
Location: SW North Dakota | TNcowgirl88 - 2014-02-28 11:06 AM
klutz02 - 2014-02-28 11:56 AM
I'm currently doing the whole online dating thing. The guys I'm talking to have all been about the same - message each other for about a week and then if we seemed to be hitting it off, move it to a text conversation . I have talked to both types...the one that wants to meet up right away and the ones that say they want to meet you and then just keep texting... I have found that its way better to meet up right away because I end up picturing them way differently. That might be just me though. lol.
I did meet one guy last week...we had only messaged and texted each other, we never did have an actual phone coversation. We met up at a restaurant and had lunch and great conversation for 3 hours. We really hit it off and I've got my second date with him tomorrow.
I'm not sure if it would work out the same for you or not. I would say just trust your gut when it comes to meeting someone.
It's been the exact same with me.. there have been a few that want to meet right away.. and then the one that I have moved slower with has yet to ask to meet.. we have great text conversations..have not had a phone convo yet... he is the one that I would like to meet.
And I agree.. I would rather meet right away because I am afraid that I may picture him totally different. after all I am not looking for a phone/ text relationship so I don't know why you wouldnt want to meet?
Maybe that is me being impatient? i dont know.
Maybe he's nervous to ask you?? If you guys have been talking for a while, I wouldn't hesitate to ask if he wants to meet up somewhere. Maybe casually say that it would be fun to have lunch sometime soon. Then you are dropping a hint without actually asking. Plus lunch opens it up to being a flexible date...if you don't like each other then you can get the heck out of there....or if it goes well, add onto it.
I met one guy for lunch and he ended up being nothing like his profile stated. We had a nice lunch but I didnt' stick around for very long.
The guy I met last weekend, we had lunch and decided that we weren't ready to end the date so we went to a movie. I'm having my second date with him this weekend.
If he's still hesitant to meet you, I would move on. There are a ton of other guys that are just waiting for that chance. :) |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 667
| klutz02 - 2014-02-28 12:31 PM
TNcowgirl88 - 2014-02-28 11:06 AM
klutz02 - 2014-02-28 11:56 AM
I'm currently doing the whole online dating thing. The guys I'm talking to have all been about the same - message each other for about a week and then if we seemed to be hitting it off, move it to a text conversation . I have talked to both types...the one that wants to meet up right away and the ones that say they want to meet you and then just keep texting... I have found that its way better to meet up right away because I end up picturing them way differently. That might be just me though. lol.
I did meet one guy last week...we had only messaged and texted each other, we never did have an actual phone coversation. We met up at a restaurant and had lunch and great conversation for 3 hours. We really hit it off and I've got my second date with him tomorrow.
I'm not sure if it would work out the same for you or not. I would say just trust your gut when it comes to meeting someone.
It's been the exact same with me.. there have been a few that want to meet right away.. and then the one that I have moved slower with has yet to ask to meet.. we have great text conversations..have not had a phone convo yet... he is the one that I would like to meet.
And I agree.. I would rather meet right away because I am afraid that I may picture him totally different. after all I am not looking for a phone/ text relationship so I don't know why you wouldnt want to meet?
Maybe that is me being impatient? i dont know.
Maybe he's nervous to ask you?? If you guys have been talking for a while, I wouldn't hesitate to ask if he wants to meet up somewhere. Maybe casually say that it would be fun to have lunch sometime soon. Then you are dropping a hint without actually asking. Plus lunch opens it up to being a flexible date...if you don't like each other then you can get the heck out of there....or if it goes well, add onto it.
I met one guy for lunch and he ended up being nothing like his profile stated. We had a nice lunch but I didnt' stick around for very long.
The guy I met last weekend, we had lunch and decided that we weren't ready to end the date so we went to a movie. I'm having my second date with him this weekend.
If he's still hesitant to meet you, I would move on. There are a ton of other guys that are just waiting for that chance. : )
Great advice... I like the lunch idea.. or coffee even...
thank you! |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 304
Location: SW North Dakota | You are very welcome!! I like the coffee idea too. Good luck! |
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 Dr. Ruth
Posts: 9891
Location: Blissfully happy Giants fan!!! | I think I did it all wrong. Matched us on FarmersOnly and I bet it wasn't a week before I met him. And ended up going to a Giants game with him where he drove us in to the City. Then went to 2 more games and spent the week with him basically. lol!
Of course, we have been together for 6 years now and basically inseparable. Married for 3. Thank goodness I am not going through that!
I do have a friend that is and she is super careful. I think if she feels there is a connection she will meet them in a public place. But I know most of who she is talking to is local. |
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I Really Love Jeans
Posts: 3173
Location: North Dakota | I saw on Dr Phil that people will use fake pics and try to find women and start asking for money etc...be very careful!!! If you live in a large city you can usually find social groups that meet once a month for business networking or even social networking. It just scares me thinking about the number of women who go out with people they meet online. You could be meeting a true crazy!! |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 972
Location: Texas! | angelica - 2014-02-28 12:13 PM I saw on Dr Phil that people will use fake pics and try to find women and start asking for money etc...be very careful!!! If you live in a large city you can usually find social groups that meet once a month for business networking or even social networking. It just scares me thinking about the number of women who go out with people they meet online. You could be meeting a true crazy!!
My mom did E-Harmony for awhile, she would use a "burner" phone. lol She didn't want any wacko getting her real number so she had a track phone that she used stricly for online dates. |
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 Damn Yankee
Posts: 12390
Location: Somewhere between raising hell and Amazing Grace | Just my own personal opinion....no relationship that is worth putting effort into starts over a text, unless it's someone you already know. If you can't pick up the phone and actually speak to them, then what's the point?
Now that being said, hubby and I met on eharmony. Our only form of communication the first two weeks was eharmony (they have it set up to communicate without using personal emails). When my free 30 day trial was over I sent him a message with my personal email address but not my phone number. We hadn't really gotten to know each other yet. Well.....I just wrote it off as a lost cause, no big deal, and three weeks later he finally emails me.
We talked via email another two weeks before the first phone call, which I promptly hung up on him when I dropped my phone on the concrete and couldn't put it back together fast enough before he tried again and left a voice mail. Then when he did call again I refused to answer it because it was an international number and I had NO idea who it was.
He sent me an email after that to set up a day and time to call and he told me it would be a wierd 9 digit number or something like that. So I finally answered the phone and he told me halfway through the conversation he was deployed in Iraq. I had no clue :) Hence the lack of communication and strange numbers. We talked for months on the phone after that, we never used text as a main means of communication, though we texted plenty to when he got back :) |
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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | Our friend used an online dating website... plenty of fish or something like that. Anyway he found a girl in Iowa (we are in Texas). It wasn't even a month before she was on a plane heading down here to meet. I did talk to her over the phone and told her he was a good guy and not a serial killer or anything, not that she could really trust me either lol. I still thought she was crazy to travel that far alone at 19 years old to meet a guy she didn't know.... but that is me. Once she got down here, she never went back. They dated for a year and just got married last Saturday.
I did feel bad for her. She got to dallas and her flight to Amarillo was canceled. So his great aunt and great uncle picked her up from the airport because he had about a 6 hour drive to get to her. So she hung out with some senior citizens while she tried to find her luggage that was lost. By the time our friend got there it was late, so they stayed the night at his family's house... which they said was awkward. The next morning they went to walmart to get her some clothes and stuff since her luggage was still MIA. At some point on the drive back to Amarillo her phone broke... So there she is with a guy she doesn't know, driving around Texas, no luggage, and no phone lol. It all worked out apparently, but that must have been a first meeting from hell. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 667
| pinx05 - 2014-02-28 4:25 PM
Our friend used an online dating website... plenty of fish or something like that. Anyway he found a girl in Iowa (we are in Texas). It wasn't even a month before she was on a plane heading down here to meet. I did talk to her over the phone and told her he was a good guy and not a serial killer or anything, not that she could really trust me either lol. I still thought she was crazy to travel that far alone at 19 years old to meet a guy she didn't know.... but that is me. Once she got down here, she never went back. They dated for a year and just got married last Saturday.
I did feel bad for her. She got to dallas and her flight to Amarillo was canceled. So his great aunt and great uncle picked her up from the airport because he had about a 6 hour drive to get to her. So she hung out with some senior citizens while she tried to find her luggage that was lost. By the time our friend got there it was late, so they stayed the night at his family's house... which they said was awkward. The next morning they went to walmart to get her some clothes and stuff since her luggage was still MIA. At some point on the drive back to Amarillo her phone broke... So there she is with a guy she doesn't know, driving around Texas, no luggage, and no phone lol. It all worked out apparently, but that must have been a first meeting from hell.
What a great story!!! That's is when you truly know it's meant to be! |
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 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | I tried the online thing for a while way back before I met my hubby. If I found someone I was interested in, we would email back and forth a few times, and if there was a "connection", we'd exchange numbers. I didn't really mind texting, but if they couldn't CALL, I would NOT set up a date. They had to at least show effort by making an actual phone call to set up a date. I got tired of the guys who wanted to text only and never speak on the phone.
Anyways, there's no set time frame, but I'd say two to three weeks max between the time you "meet" online and when you meet in real life. Wait much longer, and one of you will most likely lose interest. There are SO many people online, that if one of you drags your feet, it's way too easy to move on to the next person.
So my routine was always email for a few days, exchange numbers if I was feeling it, then set up a date if we were both interested. |
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