|
|
 Expert
Posts: 1857
   
| Just think... you're gonna get a two week vacation!    |
|
| |
|
 I Am Always Right
Posts: 4264
Location: stray dump capital of the world | MO gal - 2014-04-04 9:13 AM Sounds like dementia to me. No advice, just hugs.
This is exctly what I was going to say. My mom has Alzheimer's and she started out like this. My brothers refused to visit because she was so flippen nasty. My sister and I would snap at her. Now I feel guilty because my mom is in the latter portion of Alzheimer's where she has no idea who we are, she doesn't speak any longer and is a shell of her former self. Every now and again, she will tell me she loves me, that I'm a good girl or tell me my name...Koken. My name is Kathy. Close enough!
Watch your mother in law carefully. Google dementia and Alzheimer's to see if she has any of the characteristics. Sending prayers. |
|
| |
|
 I Prefer a Beard
Posts: 1944
| sophiebelle - 2014-04-04 3:59 PM
MO gal - 2014-04-04 9:13 AM Sounds like dementia to me. No advice, just hugs.
 This is exctly what I was going to say.  My mom has Alzheimer's and she started out like this.  My brothers refused to visit because she was so flippen nasty.  My sister and I would snap at her. Now I feel guilty because my mom is in the latter portion of Alzheimer's where she has no idea who we are, she doesn't speak any longer and is a shell of her former self. Every now and again, she will tell me she loves me, that I'm a good girl or tell me my name...Koken. My name is Kathy. Close enough!Â
Watch your mother in law carefully. Google dementia and Alzheimer's to see if she has any of the characteristics. Sending prayers.Â
I agree with this 100%, sounds like early dementia to me. I'm an RN and work in Home Health I see this on a daily basis. I would definitely consider that she may be in the early stages of dementia/alzheimers. I would talk to her doctor about the possibility. There is no cure but there are some meds that can slow down the progress of the disease. |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 794
| We have a psy eval in a couple of days to see if there is any Alzheimer's starting. |
|
| |
|
 Elite Veteran
Posts: 720
| How did she get to the SIL's house every Wed? Why couldn't she drive herself on Thanksgiving? If she needed a ride, why didn't anyone (including you) go pick her up on Thanksgiving?
|
|
| |
|
 Princess Goontard
Posts: 4744
Location: Texas | I like to give old people a break. Maybe try not to be so angry and resentful towards her. She's getting on up there in years. So if you can give her the attention she needs without letting her manipulate you, try that. Old people can be lonely and panicky at the end of their lives. |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 794
| amyliz - 2014-04-04 10:05 PM
I like to give old people a break. Maybe try not to be so angry and resentful towards her. She's getting on up there in years. So if you can give her the attention she needs without letting her manipulate you, try that. Old people can be lonely and panicky at the end of their lives.
We spend 24/7 with her. We cook, clean, carry her out to eat, shopping, to visit new and old friends, wash her clothes and help her get her shower each day I don't know anything else we can do for her. We make sure we cook what she wants by asking what she wants to eat before we cook, once the meal is done she will eat maybe three bites then feed the rest to her dog. I just don't know what else we could do for her. The only thing we don't do is put her clothes on her and she want us to do that. |
|
| |
|
  New Word Inventor
Posts: 1506
Location: Who knows | LoudAppy - 2014-04-04 9:38 PM
How did she get to the SIL's house every Wed? Why couldn't she drive herself on Thanksgiving? If she needed a ride, why didn't anyone (including you) go pick her up on Thanksgiving?Â
Â
They put their life on hold for her for years, it sounds like. I think they've done quite enough for her. It always seems that the family members that benefit the most from the older person, pitch in the least for them when life gets rough. I've witnessed this on more than a few occasions. I think resentments start circulating because of this. I say kudos for putting in the effort.
If she is mentally and physically competent and pulling this as a stunt, maybe straight out tell her you are putting her in a nursing home. If she doesn't want to be there, she'll do something about it.
If she is not mentally competent, an assisted living place is probably the best place for her to be. She can have people whose job it is to watch her there 24/7 rather than you folks who need to be working elsewhere, as well as have a home and family life elsewhere. It's very hard for people to take care of someone going downhill with dementia while they have their own lives to take care of. It's a big, big, big burden. I saw it happen with my hubby's grandma, and she had MULTIPLE family members trying to help take care of her.
They finally put her in assisted living home with her hubby (she was pretty far gone but he seemed happy about it since he was in on the decision), and she was downright nasty and physically violent toward anyone at that point. |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 794
| LoudAppy - 2014-04-04 9:38 PM
How did she get to the SIL's house every Wed? Why couldn't she drive herself on Thanksgiving? If she needed a ride, why didn't anyone (including you) go pick her up on Thanksgiving?Â
Â
SHE COULD DRIVE HERSELF AT THAT TIME. SHE DROVE ON WED. SO SHE COULD HAVE DRIVEN ON THURSDAY. (THE VERY NEXT DAY) We have in no way neglected this woman. We have been with her 24/7 since the first week of December. My husband has given up work, hunting, working with the horses, cows, dogs every thing to take care of her. |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 794
| I went to see her in the rehab center yesterday she was so excited to see me. She jumped out of her chair and came to meet me at the door when she saw me come in. I was so hurt leaving her there but I know she is already getting better. She was all smiles and so happy to see me. Her daughter came in while I was there and she was happy to see her as well. She did tell me we had two weeks up there for her then she was headed home if she had to catch a bus. (LOL) She looked so good just like she did before my FIL passed. I really pray she is on the way to recovery. Thanks for all the comments. I truly hope those of you who have read only part of the comments from me will take the time to go back and read the entire post as we have done every thing we can to make this woman's life better we are not in this to make our on life better but we know what a strong and loving woman she can be and we want her to have that life back and not be unhappy. |
|
| |
|
| Going to throw my 2 cents in and say I agree but with some other thoughts. Not only think about dementia but what if she was screwing around with her medications before? When you're blood sugar gets really high or really low you can feel bad and your brain won't function correctly; same with high blood pressure/heart medications (making blood pressure too high or too low). Maybe not only a psychiatric evaluation for dementia but possibly a neurological evaluation for other problems.
It sounds like things are shaping up-thank the lord! But if it doesn't or keeps happening think about ruling out other causes before thinking she's just trying to get attention. Now, if everything else gets ruled out and she is just seeking attention--my granny always said "If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you got".
Hope everything stays on a good course for you and your family! |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 794
| farmer's tan - 2014-04-07 1:06 AM
Going to throw my 2 cents in and say I agree but with some other thoughts. Not only think about dementia but what if she was screwing around with her medications before? When you're blood sugar gets really high or really low you can feel bad and your brain won't function correctly; same with high blood pressure/heart medications (making blood pressure too high or too low). Maybe not only a psychiatric evaluation for dementia but possibly a neurological evaluation for other problems.
It sounds like things are shaping up-thank the lord! But if it doesn't or keeps happening think about ruling out other causes before thinking she's just trying to get attention. Now, if everything else gets ruled out and she is just seeking attention--my granny always said "If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you got".
Hope everything stays on a good course for you and your family!
A stroke was the very first thing we thought of so we have had an MRI of the brain which was normal and we have a Psychologist Eval set for April 15 even though she is doing so much better we want to make sure there is no pending Alzh. or Organic Brain Syndrome going on. Because she was still grieving over the death of my FIL the dr suggested we put her on some antidepressant and that has worked wonders. May be she was just depressed all this time. We are not ready to give up on her and just say she is seeking attention. |
|
| |
|
Sideways Riding Expert
Posts: 11371
Location: ND--it snows, it floods, it snows, it floods | Look into a retirement type setting for her where there are people around but yet she is still independent. It might be right up her alley. As for the SIL...it's time she cleans her own stuff etc. It really sounds like she's trying to get hubby to replace dad if that makes sense. |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 794
| docschic - 2014-04-07 3:31 PM
Look into a retirement type setting for her where there are people around but yet she is still independent. It might be right up her alley. As for the SIL...it's time she cleans her own stuff etc. It really sounds like she's trying to get hubby to replace dad if that makes sense. Â
That is what we are thinking. He did every thing for her including put her clothes on her each day. She has always said that her kids were going to take care of her when she got ready for them to. She is doing sooooooo much better. She will be home next Tuesday from rehab they say she is in great shape and can do for herself. We do have a lady that will be sitting with her during the day just to keep her company and to give this lady some money(she is 54 and her work place just closed so she can't find a job) Things are looking so much better all around. Thanks for all the words or encouragement. |
|
| |
Folks on-line