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 Expert
Posts: 1631
   
Location: Somewhere around here | Me and my husband have been married for two years now and we know we want to have children before we get into our thirties, which is less than 5 years away, because neither of us want to be in our fifties when our kids graduate high school haha. I'm all for having kids right now but my only fear is that will I have to stop barrel racing for 15 years?? I see some women racing with young kids, high school kids, all ages of kids so I believe it's possible but why are some women being able to barrel race with kids while others are telling me that my life will stop once I become pregnant? |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
 
Location: Midwest | My friend has two little ones and she runs every weekend. She finds family or a sitter. She rode most of her pregnancy, but did not run barrels. She was back running not long after her second was born and hasn't looked back!
I don't want kids, but I don't think having them would stop you from running, especially if you have a nice group of friends that can help watch them when you can't find a sitter. |
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 Buttered Noodles Snacker
Posts: 4377
Location: NC | It is hard, but doable. it mostly depends on how much support you have and what I mean is baby sitters ;-). Do a search a few similiar threads have been posted and with some good tips on how to keep riding/barrel racing with small children. |
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 Coyote Country Queen
Posts: 5666
| A good support system is important to get you through the first couple of years. My husband, dad, and in-laws have helped me out so much. Not to mention all of the barrels racers and their husbands that pitch in to keep an eye on the little ones at the jackpots.
Whether it be going to a barrel race or out to dinner, take your kids from the time they are young and they'll be used to it. We loaded up our how whole family and went everywhere. I also had many people tell me that we'd be stuck at home, but that is just not our lifestyle.
I'm not going to lie, it was hard getting horses exercised when my boys were little. And it was pretty crazy trying to load everything up to go somewhere, but it gets easier. I always kept a bag of spare clothes in the trailer, I restocked my diaper bag as soon as I got home from anywhere so that when I was running late (and that was pretty common!) I could just grab it and go. When they got a little older I put together a bag of arena toys that I kept in the trailer so there was always plenty for them to play with.
My boys are 4 and 6 now and they are pretty good at keeping themselves entertained and in a safe place. I still rely on my family but it is much easier now that they are a little older. I'm more worried about not having time to go once sports start. But what I've learned is that where there's a will there's a way. If you really want it you'll find a way to make it work. |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| I rode more when my kids were little. It was when they got in Jr. High and High School that I quit. They were playing sports year around, showing heifers year around and UIL events, too. Sooo, I quit. I didn't have to but I wanted to be at all their activities, well, not the UIL ones. I don't regret it at all, but if I hadn't ridden when they were little, I may have lost my mind. It was my me time. I didn't haul much, probably 2 or 3 weekends a month never when we had baseball or basketball games. I have not regretted it. I had my kids to enjoy them and watching them do their stuff was a great part of it. Seeing their faces as they realize they can overcome setbacks or physical limitations was such a high for me. Watching them win with their cattle that for the most part were bred and owned was great. It is not such a sacrifice at all, it just seems like it when they are so small and can't do much, lol. Now I am getting back oh so slowly to barrel racing and I am really happy about that now. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 1182
Location: Do I hear Banjos? | Ohh...I thought from this title that you were asking if the fear of children was irrational. See that I can relate to...I fear them myself. Mostly because they have germs. 
But...in all seriousness. I chose not to have children because I know I'm not cut out for it...and I wasn't willing to make the sacrifices necessary to raise them. I decided there are plenty of people on the planet already. Selfish...yeah...I suppose. But it was a choice I made with careful thought. I much prefer being a mentor when I can and be supportive of my friends who have kids.
There will be sacrifices no doubt...and life will get more complicated...but if it is what you want to do you will find ways to still ride and compete.
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| TrailGirl - 2014-09-22 8:29 AM
Ohh...I thought from this title that you were asking if the fear of children was irrational. See that I can relate to...I fear them myself. Mostly because they have germs.
But...in all seriousness. I chose not to have children because I know I'm not cut out for it...and I wasn't willing to make the sacrifices necessary to raise them. I decided there are plenty of people on the planet already. Selfish...yeah...I suppose. But it was a choice I made with careful thought. I much prefer being a mentor when I can and be supportive of my friends who have kids.
There will be sacrifices no doubt...and life will get more complicated...but if it is what you want to do you will find ways to still ride and compete.
I don't think you are selfish at all. There is a couple that live near us. They can't have children, but they raise show cattle and have helped so many kids and most of those kids think of them as family. She is very active in volunteering in the 4H programs, too. My sister never had kids and that is great because she is good with them for awhile, but her temperment is geared toward being a GREAT aunt. Every one has a role in life, not all are as parents. After a certain age, kids don't really listen to parents but they will listen to someone older that they look up to. Maybe that is your role in life. That is just as important. |
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 Saint Stacey
| When you have kids, they grow up in the blink of an eye. Barrel racing will always be there. How much of it you want to do when you have kids is your personal choice. I competed until my daughter turned about 8. At that point I decided it was more important that she do the horse thing than me. When she was 10 I gave her my barrel horse. I have never regretted the choices I made. With 4D's, you and your kids can both compete. Having kids is not a death sentence to your barrel racing. You simply choose the degree of involvement that you can live with and you be happy with that choice. |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | I don't go every weekend like I used to because I do have priorities other than barrel racing. When my kids were really little and I needed someone to watch them while I rode, my horses weren't in as good a shape as I would have liked, but they got ridden. They're 6 and 9 now, and I have as much riding time as I want, and have for a couple of years. My 6 year old daughter is riding and hauling with me and that's pretty awesome. I don't have enough holes in the trailer for both my colts because I have to haul a horse for her, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I did have 3 prospects, but traded one for a beginner barrel horse for her.
Life gets crazier and more challenging when you start adding kids, but it doesn't stop. IMO, living for your kids does a disservice to them and to you. They are my number one priority always, but they are not the center of the universe. Their needs come before all else, but their wants don't automatically trump my own--it's all about balance. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 428
Location: God's country | I never wanted children until I married my current husband. I was afraid of having to give up my horses also. After she was born, I would have her in her stroller in our arena. Then as she got older, we had an angel of a babysitter horse. You could turn her loose on him and he wouldn't hurt her for anything. Now, at 8 years old, she can quote bloodlines better than most adults, went to Youth World as a 6 year old, and wants to be a barrel horse trainer when she grows up. She loves it more than me some days, Lol. She encourages me to get out and ride on days I don't feel like it. I will warn you though, they always end up with the nice tack and nice horses! |
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  Neat Freak
Posts: 11216
Location: Wonderful Wyoming | You have to have a lot of support from someone-friends, family, spouse etc. I didn't even get to ride much for the first 3 yrs because no one would watch my son so I could, I also live way out in the boonies and to drop him off at a neighbors was a good 20 minute drive. So when he was 3, I left him at daycare an extra hour and brought my horse to a friends house near my work and rode right after work. It was heaven.
Then I had another and the older one can entertain the younger while I ride. I have friends that were more than happy to watch him if we ever went to the same place...which was actually not very often so I haven't competed as much as I would like. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | cecollins0811 - 2014-09-22 7:56 AM Me and my husband have been married for two years now and we know we want to have children before we get into our thirties, which is less than 5 years away, because neither of us want to be in our fifties when our kids graduate high school haha. I'm all for having kids right now but my only fear is that will I have to stop barrel racing for 15 years?? I see some women racing with young kids, high school kids, all ages of kids so I believe it's possible but why are some women being able to barrel race with kids while others are telling me that my life will stop once I become pregnant? Who ever told you that you're life will stop once you become pregnant is full of bullSh**, your life will change but for all the good reason's. And life will go on, and why would you stop something that you love doing, it may slow down a bit for a while untill you can figure out a routine. 
Edited by Southtxponygirl 2014-09-22 10:41 AM
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything. My stallion hasn't been campaigned like I had hoped because she'd rather do other things. BUT, she is starting to show more interest in the horses now at 6 1/2 and I am so happy!!!! I haven't tried pushing her into them, because I want her to pick her own path. Horses will always be there since they're my passion, but if she doesn't want to ride, I'll be at whatever sport/hobby she decides she wants to do...
My stallion is the best babysitter for her. She will cool him out for me and loves just hoping on him and walking him around bareback with a halter. We have 2 phenominal mares that we are breeding to him in the spring. We may give her one of the foals as long as she continues to show interest. We are giving her english riding lessons for Christmas. I want her to ride english so she learns her balance and not to rely on a deep seat or a saddle horn.
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 Expert
Posts: 4625
Location: Desert Land | TrailGirl - 2014-09-22 6:29 AM Ohh...I thought from this title that you were asking if the fear of children was irrational. See that I can relate to...I fear them myself. Mostly because they have germs.
But...in all seriousness. I chose not to have children because I know I'm not cut out for it...and I wasn't willing to make the sacrifices necessary to raise them. I decided there are plenty of people on the planet already. Selfish...yeah...I suppose. But it was a choice I made with careful thought. I much prefer being a mentor when I can and be supportive of my friends who have kids.
There will be sacrifices no doubt...and life will get more complicated...but if it is what you want to do you will find ways to still ride and compete.
This is me to a T! |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 602
| I went from going to barrel races 3-4x per month and now I average about 2x per month. Things do shift but its for the better. I would say the first year of being the mom is the hardest with a riding schedule. My husband was very supportive and would watch her when I wanted to ride. I dont race as much because my daughter has activities on the weekends. (i.e. swimming and gymnastics) and sometimes I rather do that stuff instead of racing. I get to see my kid develop more motor skills and swithching up things is always entertaining. I thought I wanted 2 kids but after having my daughter, I realize I only want one. I wanted to keep a balance with my activities and with her activities. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| I did not want any kids but found myself pregnant (I am 35 and actually it seems to be working out just fine at this age, there is a time and an age for "tearing it up" and I am reaching the limit IMO.) So far I have ridden my entire pregnancy, I am 7 months along and just stopped barrel racing as of last week, but I still ride and go to play days. There are a bunch of moms in our barrel racing association with young kids, tween kids, and teenagers...and they all seem to do just fine, so I'm not scared. My husband says that he will be happy to take baby after he gets home from work so that I can ride for an hour or so. We can also alternate nights- barrel practice night he will watch the baby and roping practice night I will have baby duty. But we live in a pretty suburban area so it might be easier for us. One thing is for sure...we will not be giving up our horses and our lives will not "end" just because we have a kid. It doesn't have to be that way. Like another poster said, your kid's needs can be met...but it's not necessary for your world to totally revolve around them. Actually...they might grow up and be better humans if it doesn't. |
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