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 Dog Resuce Agent
Posts: 3459
   
Location: southeast Texas | Disclaimer,,,, I don't have kids......
But, if I did they would be in Karate class. Learning how to defend theirselves. And part of that training should involve how to do everything to avoid a fight but kick ass when nessary. | |
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 Peecans
| Nateracer - 2014-10-01 5:10 AM
della - 2014-09-30 6:39 PM Nateracer - 2014-09-30 2:28 PM You teach your child from day one that no one else's opinion matters but their own. What they say doesn't matter.Â
I was picked on and made fun of from about 3rd grade through high school. Did I get depressed and down on myself?? NO. Did I tell my parents? NO. Did I really honestly care about what they were saying?? NO.    I knew who I was and what I could accomplish from a young age. Â
I was in a couple of shoving matches but for the most part, I wasn't in any fights. I was told let them swing first and you won't get in trouble. Physical bullying is a whole different ball game.
Maybe that was my benefit to being an only child. Maybe it was a benefit of the horses. I don't really know.  I didn't need to compete for attention, but I could handle it if I didn't get any either. Kids have got to be taught to be more independent. I don't know how to accomplish that with the way all the crazies are making the world.   Though I agree with you, it can be so hard. when the other children tease my daughter about medical issues she has no control obIT it not only turns into her self confidince being shattred every day, but "why me god" questions. I dont know how to answer thoes questions, I try but gosh being a parent is really hard some days. I hold close a quote, nit sure who its from but I love it so much OUR JOB AS PARENTS IS TO FILL OUR CHILDREN's BUCKET OF SELF WORTH SO FULL OF LOVE THAT NO MATTER HOW MANY HOLES GET POKED INTO IT THEY NEVER RUN EMPTY.
I have talked to the parents, she's talked to the kids. Heck her very first show and tell sjebrought the ggiant teddy bear the hospital gave her, told the class about the whole hospital stay, what she had and what shes been left with.
If anything it made it worse.
Shes always been a more senstive person, she really cares deeply for others but also gets hurt easily than others. Since school has started back her attitude has really slid, she loves learning and that part of school, but she comes home in tears often.
I dont know the answer, picking on each other is one thing but truly getting bullied is quite different.
Im doing the best I know how to help her. But gosh some peoples children are fing ass hats. I know my daughter will be just fine, shes increadibly strong and bright. This is just a harder learning curve than I expected it would be! If only babies came with an owners manual and troubleshooting guide lol. | |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | della - 2014-10-01 11:53 AM Nateracer - 2014-10-01 5:10 AM della - 2014-09-30 6:39 PM Nateracer - 2014-09-30 2:28 PM You teach your child from day one that no one else's opinion matters but their own. What they say doesn't matter.
I was picked on and made fun of from about 3rd grade through high school. Did I get depressed and down on myself?? NO. Did I tell my parents? NO. Did I really honestly care about what they were saying?? NO. I knew who I was and what I could accomplish from a young age.
I was in a couple of shoving matches but for the most part, I wasn't in any fights. I was told let them swing first and you won't get in trouble. Physical bullying is a whole different ball game.
Maybe that was my benefit to being an only child. Maybe it was a benefit of the horses. I don't really know. I didn't need to compete for attention, but I could handle it if I didn't get any either. Kids have got to be taught to be more independent. I don't know how to accomplish that with the way all the crazies are making the world. Though I agree with you, it can be so hard. when the other children tease my daughter about medical issues she has no control obIT it not only turns into her self confidince being shattred every day, but "why me god" questions. I dont know how to answer thoes questions, I try but gosh being a parent is really hard some days. I hold close a quote, nit sure who its from but I love it so much OUR JOB AS PARENTS IS TO FILL OUR CHILDREN's BUCKET OF SELF WORTH SO FULL OF LOVE THAT NO MATTER HOW MANY HOLES GET POKED INTO IT THEY NEVER RUN EMPTY. I have talked to the parents, she's talked to the kids. Heck her very first show and tell sjebrought the ggiant teddy bear the hospital gave her, told the class about the whole hospital stay, what she had and what shes been left with. If anything it made it worse. Shes always been a more senstive person, she really cares deeply for others but also gets hurt easily than others. Since school has started back her attitude has really slid, she loves learning and that part of school, but she comes home in tears often. I dont know the answer, picking on each other is one thing but truly getting bullied is quite different. Im doing the best I know how to help her. But gosh some peoples children are fing ass hats. I know my daughter will be just fine, shes increadibly strong and bright. This is just a harder learning curve than I expected it would be! If only babies came with an owners manual and troubleshooting guide lol.
If you can, I would remove her from the situation. Most kids have to be taught empathy, and not enough parents seem to realize this or have a clue how to go about it. Or are lacking empathy themselves.
My my nephew was pulled from public school in first grade because he wasn't getting what he needed to learn and his IEP was being ignored as well as not being modified as needed. Found out after that he was being teased and bullied as well. He is now homeschooled and as part of that is in a Christian homeschool program with kids whose parents give a crap about morals and behavior and how they treat others. This kid went from being terrified of groups of children (I witnessed his fear first-hand when he stayed with me last summer) to being a social butterfly.
He was barely verbal when he started kindergarten, and has made amazing progress on that front, but he had absolutely no way to defend himself without resorting to physical violence, which was obviously not acceptable. At some point, he will have to learn to handle mean people, but not at such a young age when he's still working so hard to overcome his issues. He needs confidence, not torture. | |
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 I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
Location: MD | sodapop - 2014-10-01 8:09 AM
 Who is going in and sitting in class with him everyday and why? I am confused. I know the counselor can't sit with one student all day. I would assume his mom is sitting with him..?? Kids unfortunately will pick on others who have their mom or dad hovering over them too......even the ones who just come to school regularly to eat lunch with them. Around 2nd and 3rd grade it isn't considered cool to have your mom or dad with you all the time at school unless the parent is a classroom volunteer helping the teacher and all students. Otherwise the bully type kids just think the kid is a big baby who can't be at school without his mom.
mom went in to sit with him, ate lunch with him, visited the counselor with him etc, saw who the bullies were.
He's the new kid on the block at this school and they are finding him to be the easy target. I also feel like it would make the situation worse, but I'm not the parent here so I don't really get a say. Was more looking for personal advice for when he comes over this weekend to speak to him in private if he wants to talk about it. She made the attempt to "make friends for him" by telling kids they can come over and shoot arrows and bb guns etc. I hope it works, I really hope it works. But I think he's learning to understand that aside from school punishment, nobody at home will penalize him for standing up for himself.
my heart hurts for him.
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Peecans
| Crowned Image - 2014-10-01 11:40 AM
sodapop - 2014-10-01 8:09 AM
 Who is going in and sitting in class with him everyday and why? I am confused. I know the counselor can't sit with one student all day. I would assume his mom is sitting with him..?? Kids unfortunately will pick on others who have their mom or dad hovering over them too......even the ones who just come to school regularly to eat lunch with them. Around 2nd and 3rd grade it isn't considered cool to have your mom or dad with you all the time at school unless the parent is a classroom volunteer helping the teacher and all students. Otherwise the bully type kids just think the kid is a big baby who can't be at school without his mom.
mom went in to sit with him, ate lunch with him, visited the counselor with him etc, saw who the bullies were.
He's the new kid on the block at this school and they are finding him to be the easy target. I also feel like it would make the situation worse, but I'm not the parent here so I don't really get a say. Was more looking for personal advice for when he comes over this weekend to speak to him in private if he wants to talk about it. She made the attempt to "make friends for him" by telling kids they can come over and shoot arrows and bb guns etc. I hope it works, I really hope it works. But I think he's learning to understand that aside from school punishment, nobody at home will penalize him for standing up for himself.
my heart hurts for him.
I acatualy have advice on this.
I dont ask agressivisly what happened, it just makes her shut down more. If I want her to tell me about it we bake cookies. Its fun, she loves it and lets little tidbits out as we go along baking and eating. By the end of it I have all the detales.
If you can talk about it over something the child loves it really helps, it eases thier mind and when they start to get worried I always give her an out "go get two eggs" and go back to it when shes settled and calm again. | |
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I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
Location: MD | della - 2014-10-01 3:53 PM
Crowned Image - 2014-10-01 11:40 AM
sodapop - 2014-10-01 8:09 AM
 Who is going in and sitting in class with him everyday and why? I am confused. I know the counselor can't sit with one student all day. I would assume his mom is sitting with him..?? Kids unfortunately will pick on others who have their mom or dad hovering over them too......even the ones who just come to school regularly to eat lunch with them. Around 2nd and 3rd grade it isn't considered cool to have your mom or dad with you all the time at school unless the parent is a classroom volunteer helping the teacher and all students. Otherwise the bully type kids just think the kid is a big baby who can't be at school without his mom.
mom went in to sit with him, ate lunch with him, visited the counselor with him etc, saw who the bullies were.
He's the new kid on the block at this school and they are finding him to be the easy target. I also feel like it would make the situation worse, but I'm not the parent here so I don't really get a say. Was more looking for personal advice for when he comes over this weekend to speak to him in private if he wants to talk about it. She made the attempt to "make friends for him" by telling kids they can come over and shoot arrows and bb guns etc. I hope it works, I really hope it works. But I think he's learning to understand that aside from school punishment, nobody at home will penalize him for standing up for himself.
my heart hurts for him.
I acatualy have advice on this.
I dont ask agressivisly what happened, it just makes her shut down more. If I want her to tell me about it we bake cookies. Its fun, she loves it and lets little tidbits out as we go along baking and eating. By the end of it I have all the detales.
If you can talk about it over something the child loves it really helps, it eases thier mind and when they start to get worried I always give her an out "go get two eggs" and go back to it when shes settled and calm again.
Thank you!
his dad is going to give it a try this weekend. He loves to play street hockey so he said he'd take the goals up to the school and have a "boys day" if he wants to talk about it, he will, if not he's not going to push it. | |
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