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Hungarian Midget Woman
  
Location: Midwest | I am an only child. I was spoiled but not spoiled rotten. My folks made sure that I earned things. I worked from 8th grade on. I'm not huge on material "things", am not a big shopper or anything like that. I have a good relationship with my folks and am fairly well-adjusted (lol).
I was given a lot, but I am very grateful. I don't "miss" having a sibling, though I would not have minded having one.
Not all siblings are close... my husband has a brother who is a complete jerk. They don't keep in touch at all- so basically, now, he's an only child too (when his parents need help).
I would do what feels right. Don't feel obligated to have more than one if that's not what you or your husband inherently want. |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | I can't imagine life without my sister. I have a boy and girl 3 years apart and they love each other dearly, although they fight like crazy at times: one is a picker and the other has a red headed temper.  Our lives would be poorer if we had stopped at one, which I kind of wanted to because I couldn't imagine loving another that much, and hated being pregnant, but the good Lord took it out of my hands and sent her to us anyway. She has been such a blessing to our family, beyond what I could have ever imagined. After 2 I knew without a doubt we were DONE and got my hubby snipped. |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| Three 4 Luck - 2014-12-29 9:43 AM
I can't imagine life without my sister. I have a boy and girl 3 years apart and they love each other dearly, although they fight like crazy at times: one is a picker and the other has a red headed temper. Our lives would be poorer if we had stopped at one, which I kind of wanted to because I couldn't imagine loving another that much, and hated being pregnant, but the good Lord took it out of my hands and sent her to us anyway. She has been such a blessing to our family, beyond what I could have ever imagined. After 2 I knew without a doubt we were DONE and got my hubby snipped.
LOL, yeah, HE sure does let you know your path! I didn't want any kids and after my daughter, didn't care if I had another one, but once again the Lord stepped in and helped me see one more kid was needed at our house. I couldn't love my kids more and having more than one does not take away love for the first one. |
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  Playing the Waiting Game
Posts: 2304
| Mom had 8 kids in 9 years was a real trip growing up... that being said my Ex is and only child and he is having a real hard time now that his parents are getting to that age of needing care and extra help and he's the only one to make the decisions... He really wishes now that he had a brother or sister to help out. ALSO from my point of veiw him being an only child he has a hard time fighting... aka resolving conflicts... he thinks when you fight that's it and doesn't really understand that you can still be friends after you're done. |
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Hungarian Midget Woman
Location: Midwest | Having siblings doesn't mean they will help out with older parents.... My hubs has one, but I highly doubt he will be of any help... EVER. My BIL didn't even call my MIL when she had her knee replaced until the next holiday after her surgery. SMH |
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Member
Posts: 11
| I am going through the same thing. I have a 4 year old son and my husband and I are trying to decide on another child. He has children from previous relationships that are not in the picture. I only have my son. I am happy with him being an only child. My dad is an only child and he says that is the worst thing you can ever do to a person. Both of my grandparents on his side have passed and he says there is nobody left to share the memories with. I see his point, but I am still not sure what my husband I will decide. |
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I just read the headlines
Posts: 4483
| My grandmother passed this year. She was 95. ALL her children helped care for her. My uncle did the most since he lived in the same town. My aunt lived a couple hours away, but she and her daughter visited at least once a week. My mom lived 7 hours away, but would go up for Doctor appointments and whenever Granma was hospitalized to help take care of her in addition to other periodic visits. Not all siblings fight and not all kids leave the care of their parents to just one kid. It breaks my heart to hear how some of you are left alone to care for your parents. That is just not right. I include you in my prayers and am in awe of your resolve and love you have for your family.  |
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Veteran
Posts: 120
| TessBelle - 2014-12-29 5:39 AM
I'm a only child and love it! But I won't lie I'm about the biggest spoiled brat you will find. I'm not proud of it but that's just the way I am. I never missed having anyone to play with because I was never a sharer. What's mine is mine and you don't touch it. I'm 22 and don't plan on having kids but if I do I just want one. I think if you have just one you can do more with him/her and give more. There's no way I could have everything I have now if I wasn't a only child.
Not trying to be mean....but this is a good example of why NOT to have an only child...this is the dreaded only child syndrome that people talk about.....kudos to you for being honest..but wow......lol
Edited by banjomia 2014-12-29 10:41 AM
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 Party Girl
Posts: 12293
Location: Buffalo, Wyoming | If it weren't for my 3 sisters I probably wouldn't have had any real friends when I was growing up. The 4 of us are the best friends anyone could ever have. Of course we fight but we stick up for one another no matter what!
If I have kids I do want 2 so they have someone to grow up with. We do not live close to either side of our family so they wouldn't really have any cousins to grow up with.
Good luck in your decision. |
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| My ex was an only child and was very selfish and cold. But, his mother was that way also. I determined that I would have 2 kids which I did - a boy and a girl--got lucky there. They are great friends now as adults. My siblings had never been really close, but as we've grown older we have grown closer and appreciate having siblings more.
That being said, it is a personal decision for your and your husband. |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7545
| I think this is a choice that only you and your husband can make.
There are so many different outcomes; good or bad. I know great only children and a few not so great only children, just like I know great people who have siblings and not-so-good people who have (good) siblings. It just depends. Having me as a sibling/friend didn't stop my sister from becoming selfish, either. I still lover her, though.
My great grandfather had 4 children and only one (my great aunt) took care of him. Thankfully she had the help of his grandchildren. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2276
Location: ohio-in my own little world with pretty ponies :) | I couldn't imagine being an only child. I loved always having someone there to play with or hang out with. My cousin is an only child and was always jealous and sad she didn't have siblings...although she was close with us it still wasn't the same. |
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 Am I really the Weirdo?
Posts: 11181
Location: Kansas | I have two younger brothers - one is 4 years younger and the other is 12 1/2 years younger - and my boyfriend is an only child. My brothers and I are all more outgoing than Matt is, probably because we grew up with other kids around. Brett as the youngest is by far the most social, most outgoing and most willing to share things with others probably because he grew up going to all of Kyle and I's events, basketball games, horse shows etc, and had to find ways to entertain himself. Though Matt is an only child, he is pretty close to one of his cousins - also an only child - and that's nice. All 4 of us grew up being fairly spoiled, but not terribly so. My brothers and I are the only grandkids on my Mom's side of the family so grandma and grandpa always spoiled us while at Matt's, his parents did the spoiling. lol. As far as having 1 kid or more, I don't really have an opinion. 2 would almost certainly be the max for me as I absolutely hate doctors offices, hospitals and throwing up. Honestly I would prefer to just adopt or have someone else do the pregnancy thing for me! LOL> |
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 Veteran
Posts: 246
Location: Idaho | This is a personal decision between you and your husband. I am one of two siblings. We are 6 years apart. We get along but we arent "close". My husband is an only child (great man!) When we first got together in my mind I wanted 3. We got surprised with our first one. And she has been our only one, she is now 8. Neither of us are planning on another for a few reasons. Financially, right now we can support all three of us and our hobby (horses, which we all do and enjoy together), We've never "felt" we needed/wanted another child ( which my mom said she would only have one and 6 years later "felt" very strongly she needed another, ive always waited for that feeling and havent gotten it.) We are happy! I work to keep my kid in check because its easy to spoil her. She is a little (or a lot) due to the grandparents but i do make it a priority to keep her in check. She is pretty well adjusted, however, kids her own age dont get her and she has a hard time relating to them. Shes spent so much time with adults, she can relate to older kids and adults easily.
Bottomline, its your choice and what you need for you and your husband. I will say that the way our society has changed it has caused a lot of people to only have 1 child. I have many friends who only have 1. With both parents working, if you have horses as a hobby, life getting faster and faster..... its hard with even one. Not to say it cant be done with more children, because it can. Dont let anyone guilt you into having more if you dont want to have anymore. I get a lot of grief from people for only having one. But i know what works for us and we are happy. Would we still be happy if we had another.. yes... i rarely hear people say they regret having a child, but nonetheless, it our choice to make. :) |
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 I hate cooking and cleaning
Posts: 3314
Location: Jersey Girl | I was an only child and so is my son. We are both well adjusted and normal LOL On a more serious note, you need to do what you feel is right for you and your family. Just because you have a sibling it doesn't mean you are going to have a close or good relationship with that person. I know plenty of people that never see or talk to their siblings. |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9992
Location: Kansas | I told myself that when I had my daughter, I don't want anymore kids. And at this point....I'm still thinking that on occasions LOL, only because my daughter is in her crabby 2 year old "I want this" temper stage. But I also want another baby down the road. |
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | I have two boys, but when I had my first one I was thinking I didnt want any more, he was perfect always good didnt cause any problems was just a good little fella, but as time went on I got to thinking I do want another one, wish I didnt want so long but they are 9 years apart and love them both so much but I always thought I should had have that 3rd one. Oh well but at least I got my second boy and no way would I have it any other way. My mother was an only child and she always told me she was a lonely little girl growing up and she had a hard time making friends because she was so shy. |
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