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Location: Texas | My dream my whole life has to barrel race. I have a trainer and stuff but she lives in my fathers town and it's about 2 hours away from where I live with my mom. My father and I have been talking about me moving in with him so I can train more but that means breaking my moms heart. My mom wants me to graduate high school living with her but I want to barrel race and I can't do it living with my mom. So is living my dream worth breaking my moms heart? Im a sophmore right now and if I decide to move with him then I will be a junior. So please tell me what's right to do. |
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 Expert
Posts: 1304
| I feel like it'd be best if you were up front with your mom and talked to her about it and see how she feels and I think your parents, if possible, should talk about it together. I feel like it's a big decision to make at your age and that you would want to make sure your expectations were really going to be met and that it's not one or the other trying to "fight" over you. I'm really not tryin to be negative or say that that's the case because I don't know but I come from a divided family so I'm not just blowin smoke, I do understand! I still feel it'd be best if you talked to your parents individually, together and had them talk together if at all possible. Also make sure that you're schooling wouldn't be affected! Be realistic and follow your dreams! |
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Meanest Teacher!!!
Posts: 8552
   
Location: sunny california | does your horse stay with the trainer? maybe find one close to your mom |
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Location: Texas | My school will not be effected at all it's just if a do I will go to a new school but I'm ok with that. My horse is with the trainer because I'm still learning as well and it's too expensive to take riding training and stuff where my mom lives. Plus she'll probaly never take me because she's always busy. |
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  Twin Sister to Queen Boobie
Posts: 13315
Location: East Tennessee but who knows?! | Stuff like this takes a lot of soul searching, praying and a lot of thought -- we never know what impact our decisions will have a long ways down the road.
Here's the thing -- IMO, breaking your mom's heart shouldn't factor into it all.
What should factor into it is what is best for your ultimate future and outcome-- Where will you have the most stable environment to make sure that you graduate from school? Where is it that will give you the best chance for your future?
A little dose of reality too.... it's great to have dreams but it's also good to have a backup plan to keep a roof over your head. It pays to think long term down the road. Don't make rash decisions on what you want right now when it could impact your life long term.
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 Veteran
Posts: 178
| Have a heart to heart with your mom. I do not think it is unreasonable to have the best of both worlds, and I think if your mom understood what your thoughts were, that would be a great starting point to finding a solution.
Are you old enough to drive? There are many compromises that could easily be made to make this situation work. Ride with the trainer on weekends, ride closer to home during the week--even in that means working off lessons with a different trainer. IMO, you would learn even more by riding more horses with insight from different professionals--even if it is in a different discipline! Everything crosses over, and if you are truly looking at an end goal of being a true horseman, you will be well versed. I believe it all crosses over in various ways anyway! In college, I rode English on the Equestrian team just to be on the back of a horse during those months I couldn't ride my own...something today I look back on and am so glad I did- I made great new friends, got to ride different horses, learn vital skills which helped me to be a better barrel racer, and had accomplishments I never even considered when I started! |
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Location: Texas | Both the schools are pretty equal in education and I will for sure graduate and go to collage and get a degree in equine. I guess if barrel racing does not work out I will have that degree and can go teach or something. I can also go live with my father or mom if I have to for a while. I can't drive but I can this summer once I take the test. |
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 Don't Wanna Make This Awkward
Posts: 3106
Location: Texas | Tiffany1261 - 2015-01-12 7:58 PM Both the schools are pretty equal in education and I will for sure graduate and go to collage and get a degree in equine. I guess if barrel racing does not work out I will have that degree and can go teach or something. I can also go live with my father or mom if I have to for a while. I can't drive but I can this summer once I take the test.
I have to say coming from someone who is in college as an equine production & management major and on one of the best rodeo teams in tx, I am not keeping that major or anything horse related. I also don't know anyone on the rodeo team getting a horse related degree. Everyone is going business or medical... If you are just starting out please look into other degree's because chances are you will not stick with that, it is just not smart in today's world. Horse skills come naturally, not through a textbook and the WPRA and big futurities don't care if you have a degree or not.
As for where to live, if you want to be barrel racing competively you have to be riding everyday. In high school, college, and professional. You will pick things up much faster and you have to work harder than everyone else if you want to win. If your mom understands your passionate she should understands. Once you can drive you could meet her halfway for dinner once a week and she could come to your rodeo's on the weekend. I would try and move in with your dad as soon as school lets out. Give the summer a trial run, if things aren't working reconsider going back to your moms..
You won't know how everythings gonna go until you try
Edited by outrundaizy 2015-01-12 10:14 PM
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Posts: 1384
Location: Kansas | Dreams can happen soon, a year from now, 10 years from now. Just keep trying and working towards it. Can you go stay with your father in the summer and on school breaks and holidays? When in college, choose one close to your horse.
I know you want it now, but you do have a lifetime in front of you to barrel race and live your dream
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| outrundaizy - 2015-01-12 10:12 PM
Tiffany1261 - 2015-01-12 7:58 PM Both the schools are pretty equal in education and I will for sure graduate and go to collage and get a degree in equine. I guess if barrel racing does not work out I will have that degree and can go teach or something. I can also go live with my father or mom if I have to for a while. I can't drive but I can this summer once I take the test.
I have to say coming from someone who is in college as an equine production & management major and on one of the best rodeo teams in tx, I am not keeping that major or anything horse related. I also don't know anyone on the rodeo team getting a horse related degree. Everyone is going business or medical... If you are just starting out please look into other degree's because chances are you will not stick with that, it is just not smart in today's world. Horse skills come naturally, not through a textbook and the WPRA and big futurities don't care if you have a degree or not.
As for where to live, if you want to be barrel racing competively you have to be riding everyday. In high school, college, and professional. You will pick things up much faster and you have to work harder than everyone else if you want to win. If your mom understands your passionate she should understands. Once you can drive you could meet her halfway for dinner once a week and she could come to your rodeo's on the weekend. I would try and move in with your dad as soon as school lets out. Give the summer a trial run, if things aren't working reconsider going back to your moms..
You won't know how everythings gonna go until you try
Agree! I rodeo for A&M (when i don't have a hurt horse) and I'm an aerospace engineering major. Lol i know im crazy  |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13502
Location: OH. IO | SMART GIRLS studying outside the horse world!!! Wow im impressed with a few of you!!!! AS A MOM......I would have laid down and died if my daughter would have moved out at 15 or 16. THERE IS SO MANY things you need your mom for.It may not seem like it because of your love for horses but trust me you need your mom . TRY TALKING TO YOUR PARENTS TOGETHER IF POSSIBLE. Be calm and honest with your feelings and see where things go from there.
Edited by jake16 2015-01-13 5:04 PM
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
Location: Kansas | I think I would want to finish school first, you can still barrel race.....but you need a diploma to get somewhere in life now. |
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 The Vaccinator
Posts: 3810
Location: Slipping down the slope of old age. Boo hoo. | Fairweather - 2015-01-12 7:32 PM
Stuff like this takes a lot of soul searching, praying and a lot of thought -- we never know what impact our decisions will have a long ways down the road.
Here's the thing -- IMO, breaking your mom's heart shouldn't factor into it all.
What should factor into it is what is best for your ultimate future and outcome-- Where will you have the most stable environment to make sure that you graduate from school? Where is it that will give you the best chance for your future?
A little dose of reality too.... it's great to have dreams but it's also good to have a backup plan to keep a roof over your head. It pays to think long term down the road. Don't make rash decisions on what you want right now when it could impact your life long term.
Good advice. We have to remember that our lives can change in the blink of an eye. If horses are your only life and you get injured and cannot ride again -- what do you have you can do to survive? I always encourage young people who love horses to study hard in school and select a career that pays VERY well -- get your schooling -- your education and get established in a job that will support you well --talk with a Financial Advisor about your goals to get a great financial plan -- and then you can support yourself well in your hobby / passion. And then if it all works out for you to only barrel race and make a living -- well, that's gravy! You have a great background with education that will only serve to make you a better barrel racer -- you will have learned the importance of setting realistic goals, developing a realistic plan to reach those goals and understand the financial side of life.... I would think both parents would be very supportive of a well-thought out "life" plan -- that includes barrel racing and education.
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 Expert
Posts: 4121
Location: SE Louisiana | Lets make this short and sweet... Yes!!!
So may people focus on making a living.... and forget about making a life...
Edited by komet. 2015-01-13 6:38 PM
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 Miss Laundry Misshap
Posts: 5271
| My question is what do you DO for your mom? You said she's always busy. Are you in charge of lots of the chores so she can go off and be busy?? I know parents are sad when their kids grow up and move out, but they shouldn't be heartbroken to the point of keeping you from living. Plus it's not like you'd be that far away. Does your mom feel like your dad is competing with her for your attention, since he's keeping your horse or is that a joint deal? |
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 The Original Cyber Bartender
Location: Washington | At your age not sure I was allowed an option from my parents. Finish high school, then think about a change of address. |
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Posts: 1857
| Nateracer - 2015-01-13 7:25 PM
My question is what do you DO for your mom? You said she's always busy. Are you in charge of lots of the chores so she can go off and be busy?? I know parents are sad when their kids grow up and move out, but they shouldn't be heartbroken to the point of keeping you from living. Plus it's not like you'd be that far away. Does your mom feel like your dad is competing with her for your attention, since he's keeping your horse or is that a joint deal?
My thoughts too! |
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Location: Texas | IMO I kinda feel a little left out living with my mom. My mom and stepdad barely spend any time helping me and are always busy taking the other kids to sports and stuff. During the day after school my moms normally asleep because of her work schedule and my stepdad is busy cleaning and taking care of the kids. So I guess i don't really get much attention and with my father i get that attention. I know it will make my mom sad but I'm not forgetting her I'm just trying to live my life and all I ever do at my moms is sit in my room all day. I still will come visit her on weekends and holidays and breaks. I guess to her it feels like there competing but i honestly don't know. Also I want to get a degree to be a ag teacher but i also want one in equine. When I'm in collage i plan on getting a job and start saving that up for a house. I will live with my father for collage cause he lives close to it. I think that answered all the questions. |
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 Take a Picture
Posts: 12838
| I think that if you want to ride your horse you need to go for it. You need to have someone who will make sure that you get to do things like the other kids in your family. I have always been hooked on horses but everything that I have accomplished, I did on my own. I will say this, I always had a goal to have a job that would fund my habit. I got a teaching certificate and have taught 39 years. Seriously, I DO NOT recommend going into the teaching field and if you want to do something in the equine field, go into agribusiness. You can do so much more with that. Just remember that whatever you decide to do that you love it and that you will be able to afford you horses. I have the crappiest teaching job in the entire school district but I get up every morning loving my job AND I work 4 miles from Josey's. I can run down to the western store after school or take my horse to school and go ride down there if I want. |
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Location: Texas | Thanks so much for the answers so far |
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