|
|
 Ms. Poutability
Posts: 2362
  
Location: In my own world | candyloveshorses - 2015-06-15 4:21 PM
livinonlove&horses - 2015-06-15 4:11 PM candyloveshorses - 2015-06-15 4:07 PM If I was in your Dad's shoes I would take my kids and go to a real estate attorney and have all my possessions  put in their name and my kids could start paying taxes on it.
I would re-write my will stating all personal possessions, naming exactly who gets what.  The house is to be sold at his death to pay his funeral, bills in his name only and  distributed equally with a clause stating if any of his possessions are missing and if anyone contest the will all proceeds will go to a 501c3 organization of his choice.
Trust me, your Dad has legal rights while he is alive.  He knows he is married to an evil *****.  He needs his power given back to him because she has abused it right out of him and he is afraid of being alone.  I already tried getting him to deed my part to me. I even offered to buy it take that $ and put it in an IRA so he would have it for retirement. I knew if he got the $ wife would spend it. But wife threw a fit and said I was just trying to screw her and the daughter over. Buying my own inheritance?  Yeah that's really hurting her. Part of this farm has been in my family 70 years. We want to see a Century sign put on it someday. Edited to add Have you met my dad? Lol because I have heard those words out of his mouth. Afraid to be alone. I don't get it
I would get the whole family together and talk to your Dad.
Lay it all out there. Â He needs to hear what will happen after he is gone if he goes before her and how you want to keep the heritage together.
You have to remember... Â he has the legal right to will his possessions to anyone he wants. Â Morally it might not be right but legally it is his choice. Â
I know he does. But as she informed me the other day they are half hers because she married him. My dad has low self esteem and when she gets him cornered she gets in his head. I don't get to see him enough to keep him above water emotionally. This past Christmas wa when the step daughter hit him while in the car. He called me and was at McDonald's and wanted me to come get him to take him home. The next time I saw him he said it was his fault? I said she it you how is that your fault? He said "well I told her too if she was so mad at me to hit me". I said so, you don't hit people period. That is wrong and disrespectful. I told him that he had made me plenty mad raising me but hitting him was not something that had ever crossed my mind. |
|
| |
|
 Roan On The Range
Posts: 7889
 
Location: Stephenville, TX | livinonlove&horses - 2015-06-15 4:32 PM candyloveshorses - 2015-06-15 4:21 PM livinonlove&horses - 2015-06-15 4:11 PM candyloveshorses - 2015-06-15 4:07 PM If I was in your Dad's shoes I would take my kids and go to a real estate attorney and have all my possessions put in their name and my kids could start paying taxes on it.
I would re-write my will stating all personal possessions, naming exactly who gets what. The house is to be sold at his death to pay his funeral, bills in his name only and distributed equally with a clause stating if any of his possessions are missing and if anyone contest the will all proceeds will go to a 501c3 organization of his choice.
Trust me, your Dad has legal rights while he is alive. He knows he is married to an evil *****. He needs his power given back to him because she has abused it right out of him and he is afraid of being alone. I already tried getting him to deed my part to me. I even offered to buy it take that $ and put it in an IRA so he would have it for retirement. I knew if he got the $ wife would spend it. But wife threw a fit and said I was just trying to screw her and the daughter over. Buying my own inheritance? Yeah that's really hurting her. Part of this farm has been in my family 70 years. We want to see a Century sign put on it someday. Edited to add Have you met my dad? Lol because I have heard those words out of his mouth. Afraid to be alone. I don't get it
I would get the whole family together and talk to your Dad.
Lay it all out there. He needs to hear what will happen after he is gone if he goes before her and how you want to keep the heritage together.
You have to remember... he has the legal right to will his possessions to anyone he wants. Morally it might not be right but legally it is his choice. I know he does. But as she informed me the other day they are half hers because she married him. My dad has low self esteem and when she gets him cornered she gets in his head. I don't get to see him enough to keep him above water emotionally. This past Christmas wa when the step daughter hit him while in the car. He called me and was at McDonald's and wanted me to come get him to take him home. The next time I saw him he said it was his fault? I said she it you how is that your fault? He said "well I told her too if she was so mad at me to hit me". I said so, you don't hit people period. That is wrong and disrespectful. I told him that he had made me plenty mad raising me but hitting him was not something that had ever crossed my mind.
I'd be far less concerned with how your father's assets will be divided when he's gone and MUCH MORE concerned with how he's being treated while he's still alive. A very sad situation and I hope he finds the strength to make some changes. |
|
| |
|
Ms. Poutability
Posts: 2362
Location: In my own world | LMS - 2015-06-15 4:27 PM Here's a new twist on this whole inheritance thing.....I am independent and make my own way. I DO NOT expect anything from my parents or in-laws for that matter, that is their money they've earned it! It's up to them to utitilize their possessions as they see fit-keep in mind I'm an only child! The place my folks live on has been in the family since 1904-deep roots and IMO if they have to sell it to pay their way through nursing care-fine-if I can afford to buy it I will.
I have found that life is what we make of it-if you choose to continue to pursue the will issue with the "dreadful" step mom it is going to ruin the relationship with your dad and isn't that what is important??
I sure hope that someone doesn't tell me how to distribute the things I've worked hard to acquire some day.
Honestly, I do feel bad that you are in this situation and I'm not trying to point out faults, what I'm trying to do is bring another perspective that maybe you could live with and let yourself and your dad off the hook.
People generally suck and will drain the good out of us if we let them
Please read the original post. I don't care if their is or isn't an inheritance. I'm tring to help my dad not making him go in. The current wife started this it me |
|
| |
|
Ms. Poutability
Posts: 2362
Location: In my own world | Running Roan - 2015-06-15 4:56 PM livinonlove&horses - 2015-06-15 4:32 PM candyloveshorses - 2015-06-15 4:21 PM livinonlove&horses - 2015-06-15 4:11 PM candyloveshorses - 2015-06-15 4:07 PM If I was in your Dad's shoes I would take my kids and go to a real estate attorney and have all my possessions put in their name and my kids could start paying taxes on it.
I would re-write my will stating all personal possessions, naming exactly who gets what. The house is to be sold at his death to pay his funeral, bills in his name only and distributed equally with a clause stating if any of his possessions are missing and if anyone contest the will all proceeds will go to a 501c3 organization of his choice.
Trust me, your Dad has legal rights while he is alive. He knows he is married to an evil *****. He needs his power given back to him because she has abused it right out of him and he is afraid of being alone. I already tried getting him to deed my part to me. I even offered to buy it take that $ and put it in an IRA so he would have it for retirement. I knew if he got the $ wife would spend it. But wife threw a fit and said I was just trying to screw her and the daughter over. Buying my own inheritance? Yeah that's really hurting her. Part of this farm has been in my family 70 years. We want to see a Century sign put on it someday. Edited to add Have you met my dad? Lol because I have heard those words out of his mouth. Afraid to be alone. I don't get it
I would get the whole family together and talk to your Dad.
Lay it all out there. He needs to hear what will happen after he is gone if he goes before her and how you want to keep the heritage together.
You have to remember... he has the legal right to will his possessions to anyone he wants. Morally it might not be right but legally it is his choice. I know he does. But as she informed me the other day they are half hers because she married him. My dad has low self esteem and when she gets him cornered she gets in his head. I don't get to see him enough to keep him above water emotionally. This past Christmas wa when the step daughter hit him while in the car. He called me and was at McDonald's and wanted me to come get him to take him home. The next time I saw him he said it was his fault? I said she it you how is that your fault? He said "well I told her too if she was so mad at me to hit me". I said so, you don't hit people period. That is wrong and disrespectful. I told him that he had made me plenty mad raising me but hitting him was not something that had ever crossed my mind.
I am concerned but I can't get anything done. We just try to be there when he needs something. Sometimes he just comes over and hangs out. We know something is going on at home but don't ask unless he wants to talk. If he just wants to relax we visit and such. Feed him if he needs it or whatever. But I can't fix their problems at home |
|
| |
|
 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | livinonlove&horses - 2015-06-15 2:12 PM
Southtxponygirl - 2015-06-15 1:48 PM Red Raider - 2015-06-15 1:44 PM livinonlove&horses - 2015-06-15 1:11 PM Red Raider - 2015-06-15 9:55 AM livinonlove&horses - 2015-06-14 12:41 PM My dad has an old will, from 30 years ago when I was a baby. I'm pretty sure it leaves everything to his sisters. He is now remarried and has a wife and step daughter. She informed me yesterday everything was half hers since she was his wife and everything would go to her when he died. I don't think she knows about his will. So what happens? I thought his will would take presidence? Every state is different so it's hard to say without knowing where your father lives and how that would apply. Have you seen the will lately or definitely know it's still in existence and kept somewhere safe? You would be amazed at the people who know they had a will prepared but can't find it after some time. It would probably be best for him to have an attorney review his whole estate plan at this time to make sure it will do what he wants it to with everybody in mind.   , I would want him checking up on it too if he were my dad.Â
She sounds like a real piece of work. I hope your daddy gets this worked out the way HE wants it for HIS kids. Best of luck to you and him both. |
|
| |
|
Elite Veteran
Posts: 794
| livinonlove&horses - 2015-06-15 5:47 PM
LMS - 2015-06-15 4:27 PM Here's a new twist on this whole inheritance thing.....I am independent and make my own way. I DO NOT expect anything from my parents or in-laws for that matter, that is their money they've earned it! It's up to them to utitilize their possessions as they see fit-keep in mind I'm an only child! The place my folks live on has been in the family since 1904-deep roots and IMO if they have to sell it to pay their way through nursing care-fine-if I can afford to buy it I will.Â
I have found that life is what we make of it-if you choose to continue to pursue the will issue with the "dreadful" step mom it is going to ruin the relationship with your dad and isn't that what is important??
I sure hope that someone doesn't tell me how to distribute the things I've worked hard to acquire some day.
Honestly, I do feel bad that you are in this situation and I'm not trying to point out faults, what I'm trying to do is bring another perspective that maybe you could live with and let yourself and your dad off the hook.Â
People generally suck and will drain the good out of us if we let them
Â
 Please read the original post. I don't care if their is or isn't an inheritance. I'm tring to help my dad not making him go in. The current wife started this it me
I agree 100 percent. Like I said in an earlier post my mil just passed away 3 weeks ago. For years and I mean like 25 years my husband has worked on his dad's farm in order to inherit it. That is the only reason he would go see them at times. I always thought in my mind that he was very selfish and that he should help because they needed the help. Now he has no parents left and he has the farm but guess what? He told someone yesterday he would give all that land for one more year with both his parent.
PEOPLE it is just things. Make your own inheritance but let your parents do what they want with there property enjoy your time with them they will be gone WAYYYYYY to soon. |
|
| |
|
Ms. Poutability
Posts: 2362
Location: In my own world | cavlier - 2015-06-16 9:42 AM
livinonlove&horses - 2015-06-15 5:47 PM
LMS - 2015-06-15 4:27 PM Here's a new twist on this whole inheritance thing.....I am independent and make my own way. I DO NOT expect anything from my parents or in-laws for that matter, that is their money they've earned it! It's up to them to utitilize their possessions as they see fit-keep in mind I'm an only child! The place my folks live on has been in the family since 1904-deep roots and IMO if they have to sell it to pay their way through nursing care-fine-if I can afford to buy it I will.Â
I have found that life is what we make of it-if you choose to continue to pursue the will issue with the "dreadful" step mom it is going to ruin the relationship with your dad and isn't that what is important??
I sure hope that someone doesn't tell me how to distribute the things I've worked hard to acquire some day.
Honestly, I do feel bad that you are in this situation and I'm not trying to point out faults, what I'm trying to do is bring another perspective that maybe you could live with and let yourself and your dad off the hook.Â
People generally suck and will drain the good out of us if we let them
Â
 Please read the original post. I don't care if their is or isn't an inheritance. I'm tring to help my dad not making him go in. The current wife started this it me
I agree 100 percent. Like I said in an earlier post my mil just passed away 3 weeks ago. For years and I mean like 25 years my husband has worked on his dad's farm in order to inherit it. That is the only reason he would go see them at times. I always thought in my mind that he was very selfish and that he should help because they needed the help. Now he has no parents left and he has the farm but guess what? He told someone yesterday he would give all that land for one more year with both his parent.
PEOPLE it is just things. Make your own inheritance but let your parents do what they want with there property enjoy your time with them they will be gone WAYYYYYY to soon.
Been there and done that and my husband sold the that farm because of the emotion it caused. My MIL passed away and then my FIL passed away 18 months later. We inherited a very nice farm. My husband was the only child that farmed, had been since he was 9 yrs old. He was soooo close to his dad. He farmed it another 2 years and then we sold it a year ago Feb. I was shocked. But he said he couldn't do it without his dad. He didn't enjoy it anymore. I loved my FIL to pieces and I miss him dearly too. And our kids, ugh to have both of the grandparents back. We made a nice fortune selling it. But both would give it all back to have PePa and Granny Susan with us again and live dirt poor and never complain. |
|
| |
Folks on-line