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Expert
Posts: 1477
  
Location: In the land of peanuts and cotton | My story- Ive never really shared my story with anyone unless they ask. I was born with a rare genetic eye condition that leave me legally blind. I’m also mildly hearing impaired. For quite some time I’ve battled very bad anxiety and mild depression. I’ve gotten to the point I don’t care much about anything other than my dogs and family. I want, to want to ride and run but I just can’t. I have 0 want to anymore. Anytime I tried explaning how I felt I just got brushed off and even told I was just wanting attention. For years. I even mentioned wanting to see a councler but was made to feel as if I was weak for wanting that. So I dealt with it on my own and never said another word about anything. I’m recently married and my husband sat me down last week and apologized for brushing g me off. He said he can tell I’m far from happy. He said he had noticed a change from when we first started dating. Said I never want to do anything anymore but lay in bed. I used to pride my self in keeping my horses in tip top shape and my house spotless. Now I wake up go feed them come home and go back to bed. I don’t sleep. I just lay there. Im stuggling with finding a job. I want to be able to help my husband contribute to bills and my horses shouldn’t be my dads responsiblity at this point. I hate it and I can feel my self slipping further and further into depression. I’ve decided I won’t let depression take ahold of me like it has in the past. My husband is a teacher and I’ve kicked it around for a while but I’ve decided I want to be a history teacher and actually do something with my life. I just can’t find the motivation to start doing it.
Edited by TessBelle 2018-03-13 11:12 PM
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | You’re going to get a lot of knowledgeable responses.
I can’t offer much. I just want to give you a hug. Read your signature on your own post. Don’t ever feel like you have to do something that is meant to be a source of enjoyment. If horses don’t bring you happiness, sell them off. Find what makes you smile. You’re newly married, have date nights. Make time to watch movies. Go on picnics. Eat lunch outside for no reason. Soak up some sun. Go on a road trip. Talk to people who matter in your life. Find things that make your heart happy, whether it’s painting, photography, hiking, biking, walking. Laugh. And yes, go get counseling. Do it. Don’t wait. Don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed. Your health is superior to other people’s thoughts. You are smart. You are loved. You are needed. You matter. Don’t make an exception. Don’t accept anything less than being who you want to be. | |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | ~BINGO~ - 2018-03-13 11:27 PM
You’re going to get a lot of knowledgeable responses.
I can’t offer much. I just want to give you a hug. Read your signature on your own post. Don’t ever feel like you have to do something that is meant to be a source of enjoyment. If horses don’t bring you happiness, sell them off. Find what makes you smile. You’re newly married, have date nights. Make time to watch movies. Go on picnics. Eat lunch outside for no reason. Soak up some sun. Go on a road trip. Talk to people who matter in your life. Find things that make your heart happy, whether it’s painting, photography, hiking, biking, walking. Laugh. And yes, go get counseling. Do it. Don’t wait. Don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed. Your health is superior to other people’s thoughts. You are smart. You are loved. You are needed. You matter. Don’t make an exception. Don’t accept anything less than being who you want to be.
I simply don't know what to add cause Bingo summed it up perfectly. I repeat, perfectly. . . Take care of you and do what you need to do to accomplish that. No matter what it is. Lean on people if you need to---cry, vent, talk, hug, laugh, or just let them hold you. And know that you have folks here at all times that will lift you up. Hugs to you  | |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Agree with Bingo, you matter! Go to conseling, people go to medical professionals when they need help-that is not a weakness. Hugs and prayers. | |
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 Owner of a ratting catting machine
Posts: 2258
| Run, don’t walk, to the nearest mental health facility. There should not be the stigma that there is about getting help. Often there’s a chemical imbalance in the brain and body caused by stress and nutrition, exercise, blah blah blah, that can be remedied and put you back on track.
Get to a psychiatrist and get a scrip, then spend some time with a psychologist and get talking.
I would drive you there myself if I could, that’s how firmly I believe in my words.
We go to the dr when our bodies are sick, but fall short on self care when our minds are struggling. That’s stupid and dangerous.
Get some help. | |
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 The One
Posts: 7997
Location: South Georgia | Throwing another thing out there....I am 33 and for the last year or so, I felt like I was in a mental fog. I was always tired, had no motivation, had no desire to socialize, etc. My neighbor was telling me about this doctor she visited for hormones. Hormones are all this doctor handles. I made an appointment to see if it was worth a shot. She ran a bunch of blood on me (14 vials between AM and PM sessions) and evaluated all of my levels. When I went for my followup, she told me she was surprised I ever got out of bed. Nearly all of my levels were way off base. She gave me hormones and supplements and after about 6 weeks, I felt like a new person. I go to her every 4 months to have new bloodwork and for her to tweak my hormones, but I never in a million years would have thought the depressed state I was in was due to hormones! I no longer stress like I used to, my back no longer tenses up (was caused by the stress), I no longer get stress headaches, I feel like I can concentrate, I have energy, and I have motivation to be active. Our bodies are crazy machines and if the levels are not right for whatever reason, they cannot function. Most doctors just prescribe meds. She went to the root. | |
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  Witty Enough
Posts: 2954
Location: CTX | The ladies already gave you great advice, so I just want to give you some virtual hugs! | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 542
| My motivation for horses---- My family says quit playing around with those horses you'll never make any money settle down and have a family.
My motivation for my job---- I need fuel, entry fees, to make payments on things I owe for, and to make the feed bill.
Daily out of bed----- I have a brother that is a druggie, piece of crap person, and I don't want to be like him.
Find your why. Sometimes you need to talk to people. Sometimes you need to get involed with a project of helping others. Sometimes you need to find a church family.
AND sometimes you need meds to level you out. I'm pro meds....me, horses, dogs....if we need em we take em! Everything is better slightly sedated and mood elevated. Seeing a professional is not shameful whatsoever!! Neither are meds. Do you and screw everyone else's thoughts. My fav quote: "Race horses wear blinkers so they can focus on their race not others"
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 575
| Seeking counseling was the best thing I ever did for myself. It will be for you too.
Big hugs. I know it feels hopeless and like there's no easy way out. If meds will help you, take them. I did. And with the right counseling I was able to get off of them and find healthy coping mechanisms.
And I actually really like horsegirl's suggestion as well. Your hormones could easily be out of tune! | |
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