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Veteran
Posts: 225
 
Location: Montgomery TX | Yes, yes and yes! I was fearless on a horse back in the day! lol Then life happened and I didn't ride for 15 years or so other than an occasional trail ride. I had just started riding to get back to competing when my friend who was helping me had a freak riding accident that left her paralyzed. I've been on a horse twice I think in the last few years since it happened. I'm not scared to be around horses or get on one, but there's something......
Anyway, this morning, I e-mailed a trainer in the area and am meeting with her this weekend to schedule a lesson. Here's to getting back in the saddle, I'm super excited.  Even if it is this speed to start  | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 595
Location: North Dakota | You aren't alone!
I went from my 16 year old cowbred mare who I knew too well to a racebred QH 5 year old who is slightly nutty and lots all my confidence. It is hard sometimes. I found my confidence with her by stepping away from riding and doing more of the everyday stuff with her and not riding for awhile. Brushing, picking feet, leading, going over logs on the ground, lunging, just feeding her and staying around while she ate. I needed to find a bond with her because I thrive off of that relationship with a horse. In the process of all that she gained alot of confidence in me which has allowed me to get my confidence with her. Sometimes, atleast in my case...you just need to get to know a horse like the back of your hand to really enjoy that time in the saddle with them.
Good luck! But just know you aren't alone! | |
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My Steak better Kick!
Posts: 1627
Location: trying not to melt | I don’t know if this helps much but when I bought my new mare in February I had zero confidence.I was overweight and I’m not the bravest rider out there.I had been using a magic seat and wearing a helmet on my horse I sold.I made up my mind to just do this thing.Five days after I bought her I rode her.Im not used to riding outside of an arena.I haven’t rode at the house for years cause I have no place to really work.But I did it anyway.I have since rode her several times.Nothing bad has happened but the last time I got on her I noticed my shoulders were up to my neck and my heals were up not down.I forced myself to relax.And breath.I am wearing my helmet every time I get on her even tho she has not even offered to do anything.So just know you are not alone.Im sorry you r going thru this also.Good luck with finding your confidence!!
Edited by run3 2018-04-04 4:46 PM
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 The best bad guy on the internet
Posts: 3519
Location: Arizona | I'm on the same road. So mad at myself with the way I have been riding. I retired my one mare and I have a new mare (2 yrs now) and I can't seem to ride her the way I used to ride. I just sit on her like a sack of potatoes. I know I need to drive her, I know I need to kick her, push her. I KNOW!! But do I do it, NO! UGH!! So frustrating! Blah! | |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | love2ridepre - 2018-04-04 9:23 AM
Liana D - 2018-04-03 7:11 PM
My first question would be, “what are you afraid of ?” ( not meant to be mean), is it something in you’re riding ? What other people think ? Disappointing your spouse ? If there are specific things that are making you apprehensive I’d go to a clinic or take some lessons and work,on your weak points (we all have them).
A clinic is great since you can watch people that are probably having the same problems as you. You not only get to work on yourself but you get to see other people do it.
My other question is, “what’s the worst that can happen ?” You might make some mistakes but you’ll learn from them. You shouldn’t worry bout what other people think.
The other thing people tend to do is over complicate things, they second guess themselves and end up frustrated and confused (along with the horse). Make your plan and stick with it. Find out what works for you. Be careful about taking advice from too many people.
Growing up I really never had an opportunity to own my own horse so I rode whatever it was offered to me and most of the time were horses than I had not business riding but that's another story. I had pretty bad wrecks, one in particular I was in the hospital for over a month about to lose my kidneys but all turned out well Thank God. I guess after so many my confidence got pretty shaken up but hey, I kept on going and the desire of riding not only did not go away but got stronger.
I am a pretty decent rider with a good balance but I panic, yep, I admit it, I do panic and my skills go out of the window when I do. It doesn't happen all the time but it does happen. If I am comfortable on a horse and I feel like I can trust him then I am fine but if I am getting used to it, I am a basket case. I will still ride and push myself but I sure could use some ace when I do!
What is the worse that it can happen?, well.... getting dump is not fun, mostly now when I don't longer fall but I splatter LOL. And then my confidence getting even worse and those demons taking over!
Yes, I am afraid of disappointing my hubby and friends that have been helping me but mostly I am afraid of disappointing myself. And you nailed it! I second guess myself ALL THE TIME!!! total mental case, right?
So after admitting all this in a public forum (embarrassed to no end ), I am still going to keep working at it. I will take one day at a time, or better yet, one ride at a time! Quitting is never an option and besides, " courage is being scared to death but still saddling up anyways"
Don't you dare be embarrassed---I think you are very brave and have so much respect for you for asking questions. I say GOOD FOR YOU
Good luck and best wishes to all of you on getting those nerves and that low confidence conquered.
Edited by Chandler's Mom 2018-04-04 7:16 PM
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| Thanks everyone for sharing your own stories. Like I said before, I hate to hear that you guys go through the same but at the same time it is encouraging to know that I am not alone in this struggle.
This coming weekend I am going to really step out of my comfort zone. We are heading to a whole weekend barrel race and we are taking both horses (which they are buddied up something awful and they act like idiots but the young one needs to be hauled, he hasn't left the farm much and there's no time like the present to start seeing the world) I am very nervous about riding the young one as he hasn't been hauled much, but my husband (who doesn't run barrels but he is a heck of a rider and an excellent horseman) is going to be riding him around and maybe even do a trainer on him just so he can see the arena. If he does well, then I will get on him and try to do trainers . I know it is silly but I am just trying to find ways were my lack of confidence doesn't hinder my horses.
I'll let you all know how it went! I might need lost of
 by the time the weekend is over LOL | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| Chandler's Mom - 2018-04-04 7:10 PM
love2ridepre - 2018-04-04 9:23 AM
Liana D - 2018-04-03 7:11 PM
My first question would be, “what are you afraid of ?” ( not meant to be mean), is it something in you’re riding ? What other people think ? Disappointing your spouse ? If there are specific things that are making you apprehensive I’d go to a clinic or take some lessons and work,on your weak points (we all have them).
A clinic is great since you can watch people that are probably having the same problems as you. You not only get to work on yourself but you get to see other people do it.
My other question is, “what’s the worst that can happen ?” You might make some mistakes but you’ll learn from them. You shouldn’t worry bout what other people think.
The other thing people tend to do is over complicate things, they second guess themselves and end up frustrated and confused (along with the horse). Make your plan and stick with it. Find out what works for you. Be careful about taking advice from too many people.
Growing up I really never had an opportunity to own my own horse so I rode whatever it was offered to me and most of the time were horses than I had not business riding but that's another story. I had pretty bad wrecks, one in particular I was in the hospital for over a month about to lose my kidneys but all turned out well Thank God. I guess after so many my confidence got pretty shaken up but hey, I kept on going and the desire of riding not only did not go away but got stronger.
I am a pretty decent rider with a good balance but I panic, yep, I admit it, I do panic and my skills go out of the window when I do. It doesn't happen all the time but it does happen. If I am comfortable on a horse and I feel like I can trust him then I am fine but if I am getting used to it, I am a basket case. I will still ride and push myself but I sure could use some ace when I do!
What is the worse that it can happen?, well.... getting dump is not fun, mostly now when I don't longer fall but I splatter LOL. And then my confidence getting even worse and those demons taking over!
Yes, I am afraid of disappointing my hubby and friends that have been helping me but mostly I am afraid of disappointing myself. And you nailed it! I second guess myself ALL THE TIME!!! total mental case, right?
So after admitting all this in a public forum (embarrassed to no end ), I am still going to keep working at it. I will take one day at a time, or better yet, one ride at a time! Quitting is never an option and besides, " courage is being scared to death but still saddling up anyways"
Don't you dare be embarrassed---I think you are very brave and have so much respect for you for asking questions. I say GOOD FOR YOU
Good luck and best wishes to all of you on getting those nerves and that low confidence conquered.
thank you so very much!  | |
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Veteran
Posts: 225
Location: Montgomery TX | Good Luck!!!  I'm so glad your husband will be with you for moral support and to keep the youngster busy so you can concentrate on doing your thang!!
Don't forget to update us - I know I will be stalking BHW for an update - and I'm sure I won't be the only one!   | |
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Expert
Posts: 1599
| Update: Swearing at yourself can work! I literally said to myself "Stop being a %^&^* pansy and get your a$$ in there and ride like you know you can." And probably repeated several iterations of that a few times lol! Literally my mind changed from defensive to offensive and I felt my entire body change. I remembered my whole run and actually RODE thru it. | |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | love2ridepre - 2018-04-06 8:44 AM
Chandler's Mom - 2018-04-04 7:10 PM
love2ridepre - 2018-04-04 9:23 AM
Liana D - 2018-04-03 7:11 PM
My first question would be, “what are you afraid of ?” ( not meant to be mean), is it something in you’re riding ? What other people think ? Disappointing your spouse ? If there are specific things that are making you apprehensive I’d go to a clinic or take some lessons and work,on your weak points (we all have them).
A clinic is great since you can watch people that are probably having the same problems as you. You not only get to work on yourself but you get to see other people do it.
My other question is, “what’s the worst that can happen ?” You might make some mistakes but you’ll learn from them. You shouldn’t worry bout what other people think.
The other thing people tend to do is over complicate things, they second guess themselves and end up frustrated and confused (along with the horse). Make your plan and stick with it. Find out what works for you. Be careful about taking advice from too many people.
Growing up I really never had an opportunity to own my own horse so I rode whatever it was offered to me and most of the time were horses than I had not business riding but that's another story. I had pretty bad wrecks, one in particular I was in the hospital for over a month about to lose my kidneys but all turned out well Thank God. I guess after so many my confidence got pretty shaken up but hey, I kept on going and the desire of riding not only did not go away but got stronger.
I am a pretty decent rider with a good balance but I panic, yep, I admit it, I do panic and my skills go out of the window when I do. It doesn't happen all the time but it does happen. If I am comfortable on a horse and I feel like I can trust him then I am fine but if I am getting used to it, I am a basket case. I will still ride and push myself but I sure could use some ace when I do!
What is the worse that it can happen?, well.... getting dump is not fun, mostly now when I don't longer fall but I splatter LOL. And then my confidence getting even worse and those demons taking over!
Yes, I am afraid of disappointing my hubby and friends that have been helping me but mostly I am afraid of disappointing myself. And you nailed it! I second guess myself ALL THE TIME!!! total mental case, right?
So after admitting all this in a public forum (embarrassed to no end ), I am still going to keep working at it. I will take one day at a time, or better yet, one ride at a time! Quitting is never an option and besides, " courage is being scared to death but still saddling up anyways"
Don't you dare be embarrassed---I think you are very brave and have so much respect for you for asking questions. I say GOOD FOR YOU
Good luck and best wishes to all of you on getting those nerves and that low confidence conquered.
thank you so very much!
You are so welcome!! Can't wait for your to let us know how it went. Good thoughts and wishes sent your way  | |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 408
| ***UPDATE***
Well, I did put my big girl panties on and rode my young one at the big barrel race! My husband rode him all over Saturday and he did awesome! so yesterday after my run on my to go guy, I got on him and rode him in the warm up pen. He handled all the commotion, the music, the speakers, tractors etc like A CHAMP! I want to believe that with time, we might actually make a pretty good team!
Fighting those demons is for sure exhausting but so well worthed
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| love2ridepre - 2018-04-09 2:31 PM ***UPDATE*** Well, I did put my big girl panties on and rode my young one at the big barrel race! My husband rode him all over Saturday and he did awesome! so yesterday after my run on my to go guy, I got on him and rode him in the warm up pen. He handled all the commotion, the music, the speakers, tractors etc like A CHAMP! I want to believe that with time, we might actually make a pretty good team! Fighting those demons is for sure exhausting but so well worthed
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | love2ridepre - 2018-04-09 2:31 PM
***UPDATE***
Well, I did put my big girl panties on and rode my young one at the big barrel race! My husband rode him all over Saturday and he did awesome! so yesterday after my run on my to go guy, I got on him and rode him in the warm up pen. He handled all the commotion, the music, the speakers, tractors etc like A CHAMP! I want to believe that with time, we might actually make a pretty good team!
Fighting those demons is for sure exhausting but so well worthed
Yep, Like I was saying the more rides the better the confidence | |
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Defense Attorney for The Horse
Location: Claremore, OK | love2ridepre - 2018-04-09 2:31 PM
***UPDATE***
Well, I did put my big girl panties on and rode my young one at the big barrel race! My husband rode him all over Saturday and he did awesome! so yesterday after my run on my to go guy, I got on him and rode him in the warm up pen. He handled all the commotion, the music, the speakers, tractors etc like A CHAMP! I want to believe that with time, we might actually make a pretty good team!
Fighting those demons is for sure exhausting but so well worthed
Yes !
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 545
Location: Texas | love2ridepre - 2018-04-09 2:31 PM ***UPDATE*** Well, I did put my big girl panties on and rode my young one at the big barrel race! My husband rode him all over Saturday and he did awesome! so yesterday after my run on my to go guy, I got on him and rode him in the warm up pen. He handled all the commotion, the music, the speakers, tractors etc like A CHAMP! I want to believe that with time, we might actually make a pretty good team! Fighting those demons is for sure exhausting but so well worthed
I was hoping to hear it went great. So glad you had a great weekend and it went well. Keep pushing you'll get it. I tell myself that all the time. I know also how great it feels when things like that go right! | |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | love2ridepre - 2018-04-09 2:31 PM
***UPDATE***
Well, I did put my big girl panties on and rode my young one at the big barrel race! My husband rode him all over Saturday and he did awesome! so yesterday after my run on my to go guy, I got on him and rode him in the warm up pen. He handled all the commotion, the music, the speakers, tractors etc like A CHAMP! I want to believe that with time, we might actually make a pretty good team!
Fighting those demons is for sure exhausting but so well worthed
Woo hoo  | |
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