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| Hi everyone, I dont post a whole lot , mainly just read & learn from ya'll.. but I figured since we're all equestrians , we have surely seen or had our fare share of horse wrecks ..
I'm trying to deal with this fear I have, it's been with me for the past 16 months, since seeing a dear friend get critically injured in an awful, awful horse wreck. I have always been an adventurous rider, and finally got my hands on a nice horse to run barrels on. She's a good mare, knows her job, works the pattern nicely for me, and I enjoy her.Im no 2D rider, more like 3D or 4D and my goals are just to have fun and beat my own times (and maybe grab a check here n there
lol ). Here's my problem: ever since that day,seeing my friend's accident, my confidence is gone. But its only when I'm riding my mare(the horse I was on when I witnessed the wreck). I can ride my other horses all just fine, I have no fear with them. My mare has never done a single thing to give me reason to be afraid, its all in my head and its so frustrating! I'm currently taking lessons on her, and trainer understands my issues, so we're taking it all nice & slow, but I feel like I'm a changed rider and I really miss my old self lol. I know my friend has suffered immensely and im not making light of her situation in any way, I just never thought I would be such an in-confident rider, especially after finally finding a good,athletic horse to help me pursue my dreams. Anyone else in my shoes?
Thanks ?? | |
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| We've all witnessed incidents that leave us rattled. I know that 's different than witnessing a friend get terribly injured during a riding incident. Many years ago, we had a gal get critically injured in our area and many people, including her best friend, witnessed it. The best friend, who was always a super aggressive and confident rider had a real issue for a while. She tearfully confided to me at a very big barrel race that she was scared and didn't know what to do about it. The best I could say then, and now, is this: You have to think of how many hundreds (thousands?) of runs and/or horse riding moments that you've witnessed that did not have a bad outcome...it's like thinking of car wrecks...they happen BUT of the thousands of cars on the road each day the majority make it to their destinations fine...same with airplanes, etc....so THINK of the positive...every time you see that negative image, use a mental eraser and replace the image with a positve one...i.e. one of the best, prettiest runs that puts a smile on your face that you can visualize.
If riding is something that brings you a lot of joy and is something that is on your heart to do...do not let this incident steal it from you. It will take a few times of riding or making a run to maybe get over it but eventually you will...but you have to MAKE yourself just do it, to get to that point.
The girl that I referenced above is once again an aggressive, confident and winning barrel racer!!! I'm sure the incident she witnessed will never be forgotten by her but she's put it's proper perspective and didn't let it steal her passion...not for long at least. | |
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 Accident Prone
Posts: 22277
Location: 100 miles from Nowhere, AR | My sister witnessed my really bad wreck in 2002 and hasn't been on a horse since. You get over it by riding--at this point I doubt she will ever get past it. I had panic attacks for a while myself after that, but only if I was on the horse I was injured on. I never did ride him quite the same, partly because it took a long time before my leg was functioning normally and he was a very physical horse to ride, and partly out of a niggling fear. It wasn't even his fault that it happened, but the association was there in my head. I'm still more cautious than I used to be because I had 3 ugly wrecks in 2 years and learned that I'm not invincible after all. BUT, last night I did a leg lift for the first time in over a decade, almost fell off doing it, refused to quit hustling my horse, and giggled the whole way. It was great. | |
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 Thread Killer
Posts: 7545
| Three 4 Luck - 2015-06-27 10:26 AM
My sister witnessed my really bad wreck in 2002 and hasn't been on a horse since. You get over it by riding--at this point I doubt she will ever get past it. I had panic attacks for a while myself after that, but only if I was on the horse I was injured on. I never did ride him quite the same, partly because it took a long time before my leg was functioning normally and he was a very physical horse to ride, and partly out of a niggling fear. It wasn't even his fault that it happened, but the association was there in my head. I'm still more cautious than I used to be because I had 3 ugly wrecks in 2 years and learned that I'm not invincible after all. BUT, last night I did a leg lift for the first time in over a decade, almost fell off doing it, refused to quit hustling my horse, and giggled the whole way. It was great.
I'm pretty sure that I'm in your sister's position, so I'm not thr best for motivational talk.... My younger sister had a good number of spills, but there's that "one" that still haunts me. Honestly, I'm not sure I'll ever ride again. The fear of what could happen is too much anymore. On top of that I've found other interests that are cheaper and less stressful. I'll still keep up with the sport/horses in general, but it's takes to much out of me. I wouldn't trade being a horse kid for the world, though. | |
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 Chicken Chick
Posts: 3562
Location: Texas | I have witnessed horse wrecks but they never seemed to get me scared about riding though.
For me it was different. One day I was on my 18 year old trusty gelding. We were just walking around the arena. I started shaking, I don't know if it was like a panic attack or what but I was terrified and he gave me no reason to feel that way at all. I had ridden this horse since he was about 5 and he never once did anything that would make me not trust him. Anyway I started shaking and I just wanted him to stop. Even in his old age he had a lot of get up and go and was just waiting for you to turn him loose. Well my legs were shaking so hard he thought I was wanting him to go, I did not. So we had a little prancing WTH do you want from me moment and I finally got control of my legs enough to get him settled down. I had to get off of him. I did eventually get back on and finish my ride with no problems. These panic attacks or whatever started happening more often, it didn't matter what horse I was on from a green asshat of a horse to a world champion sorting horse. Then... I got bucked off of my young horse. That just made it worse. I haven't felt comfortable on a horse since. My best friend talked me into getting on her almost 30 year old horse, and I sat on her and cried I think the horse went to sleep lol. I felt like a huge idiot but I was terrified and I wished I had drank half a bottle of Tequila before I got on lol.
So while I have no advice, just know that you aren't alone. Mine literally came out of no where. I was once a fearless rider that always pushed myself to be better, faster, stronger. Now I'm a crybaby in the bleachers lol. | |
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 Hog Tie My Mojo
Posts: 4847
Location: Opelousas, LA | Three 4 Luck - 2015-06-27 9:26 AM My sister witnessed my really bad wreck in 2002 and hasn't been on a horse since. You get over it by riding--at this point I doubt she will ever get past it. I had panic attacks for a while myself after that, but only if I was on the horse I was injured on. I never did ride him quite the same, partly because it took a long time before my leg was functioning normally and he was a very physical horse to ride, and partly out of a niggling fear. It wasn't even his fault that it happened, but the association was there in my head. I'm still more cautious than I used to be because I had 3 ugly wrecks in 2 years and learned that I'm not invincible after all. BUT, last night I did a leg lift for the first time in over a decade, almost fell off doing it, refused to quit hustling my horse, and giggled the whole way. It was great.
This is so true, there really is no other way. Instead of focusing on your lack of confidence, focus on the fact that every single time you face your fear and swing up in your saddle, you have won one more small victory. Many people do quit, and there is no shame in that, but you have not and you need to give your self credit for every single baby step you take. | |
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| Thanks you guys for the responses, makes me feel better knowing if I just push through, maybe I'll get somewhere back to feeling more secure in myself. Its hard to explain though - I can breeze her on the local track without ( much) fear, trail ride for hours, high lope a practice run,
but put us at the race in the next 15 and im literally falling apart, which puts my mare waay on edge..which..well, you know, turns into me projecting the worst case scenario at that point. Sure we all get nervous when we're in the hole but I am now a fearful frazzled mess an I never used to be.
Tomorrows another race, had a lesson last night, hope I can retain at least some of what we went over, and maybe at least be in the top of the 4D. No, better change that to : at least try to keep myself together . I got butterflies just typing this and to make matters worse, there's a handful of my work buddies coming to watch tomorrow!!
Edited by canchaserdreams 2015-06-27 10:43 AM
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Miracle in the Making
Posts: 4013
| i was the wreck my son was videoing he said the hardest part was going as i could not fat chance had some issues as she had flashbacks to her wreck
she was there and saw it but seriously i still rode afterwards and would now in a heartbeat if someone one would put me on one
its kinda like spilt milk and if you dwell on what could happen you miss out on life
with that said i am not jumping off a tall building not gonna happen | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1131
| I've witnessed and been IN my fair share of bad horse wrecks. One of the most memorable that I've seen that still puts a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach thinking about it now was when a friend of mine was running flags on his nice barrel horse, and the horse slipped and did the splits with his back legs, and sent the guy supermaning off of him. The wreck itself wasn't that bad, but watching that horse flop around in pain and get up and not be able to walk was (and still is) just sickening. Luckily, he did walk out of most of it, and ended up not doing any serious damage (he just needed some rest and was fine).
I still think of that accident any time I run flags simply because we still don't really know what caused him to do it, but I just suck it up and run, and have to trust my horse to do what she needs to do. It's a dangerous sport, and stuff happens. I know that probably doesn't help, but that's what I do. | |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | canchaserdreams - 2015-06-27 10:41 AM
Thanks you guys for the responses, makes me feel better knowing if I just push through, maybe I'll get somewhere back to feeling more secure in myself. Its hard to explain though - I can breeze her on the local track without ( much) fear, trail ride for hours, high lope a practice run,
but put us at the race in the next 15 and im literally falling apart, which puts my mare waay on edge..which..well, you know, turns into me projecting the worst case scenario at that point. Sure we all get nervous when we're in the hole but I am now a fearful frazzled mess an I never used to be.
Tomorrows another race, had a lesson last night, hope I can retain at least some of what we went over, and maybe at least be in the top of the 4D. No, better change that to : at least try to keep myself together . I got butterflies just typing this and to make matters worse, there's a handful of my work buddies coming to watch tomorrow!!
Be sure and post tomorrow and let us know how well you did!
Edited by Chandler's Mom 2015-06-27 10:27 PM
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| Ok I did it ! I raced today, and although my heart was basically jumping out my throat and my legs were noodles and I wanted to throw up.. I made a mostly clean run with one bobble at 1st, (pilot error as I watched my video like 37 times already lol.)
My mare was good as gold, nothing bad happened, I didn't get hurt... it was good. And, to make it all come together even better, I won a check being 4th in the 4D yaay :)
I have a lesson next week again, hoping this good feeling sticks with me. I just need to keep on keeping on :D | |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | canchaserdreams - 2015-06-28 9:54 PM
Ok I did it ! I raced today, and although my heart was basically jumping out my throat and my legs were noodles and I wanted to throw up.. I made a mostly clean run with one bobble at 1st, (pilot error as I watched my video like 37 times already lol.)
My mare was good as gold, nothing bad happened, I didn't get hurt... it was good. And, to make it all come together even better, I won a check being 4th in the 4D yaay :)
I have a lesson next week again, hoping this good feeling sticks with me. I just need to keep on keeping on :D
Woo hoo!!! Good for you----go girl!! | |
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Expert
Posts: 5321
Location: Texas |  glad you had a good time! | |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| canchaserdreams - 2015-06-28 9:54 PM Ok I did it ! I raced today, and although my heart was basically jumping out my throat and my legs were noodles and I wanted to throw up.. I made a mostly clean run with one bobble at 1st, (pilot error as I watched my video like 37 times already lol.) My mare was good as gold, nothing bad happened, I didn't get hurt... it was good. And, to make it all come together even better, I won a check being 4th in the 4D yaay :) I have a lesson next week again, hoping this good feeling sticks with me. I just need to keep on keeping on :D
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  The Original Cyber Bartender
Location: Washington | vjls - 2015-06-27 11:21 AM i was the wreck my son was videoing he said the hardest part was going as i could not fat chance had some issues as she had flashbacks to her wreck
she was there and saw it but seriously i still rode afterwards and would now in a heartbeat if someone one would put me on one
its kinda like spilt milk and if you dwell on what could happen you miss out on life
with that said i am not jumping off a tall building not gonna happen
It changed me that's for sure Vicky. I never did though go back to that arena to compete. I did though continued to compete, just found my priorities a little different and that was a good thing. | |
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