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 Expert
Posts: 1631
   
Location: Somewhere around here | So I've had a journey with my 8 year old horse. Broke him and been riding him since he was 3, started him on barrels, and he was hitting the 3D his 5 year old year. Since then I've had two kids and have tried getting back in sync with him but we've just been miserable in the barrel pen and can't even do well in the 4D. We've treated him for ulcers, made sure he wasn't sore (or if he was we fixed it), and I just don't want to go to jackpots anymore because I never have fun anymore. I still do some at home but it's not the same. My husband decided today that we should find a good barrel racing trainer, have them ride him for about a month/two months/three months and see if it's just him not wanting to be a barrel horse anymore or if we just aren't compatible, which I have a strong feeling it's that. I feel like I've lost all confidence to compete or train with future horses. I don't want this horse anymore and I feel terrible about it. I've trained all my other horses to be successful in the barrel pen but I hate myself that I can't work it out with the horse I've trained myself from start to finish. I'm sorry I'm ranting here, but my friends don't care much for horses or barrel racing. I'm not usually down in the dumps but after having my own husband say that my barrel horse should go to an actual barrel racing trainer instead of myself felt really defeating, even if he is right. All I want to do is say goodbye to this chapter of my life and try again with another horse. | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 460
| I am so sorry you are in this spot =[ These decisions are never fun or easy. When it stops being fun, though... that's where I draw the line =/ It may be very refreshing to have a clean slate with a different horse! | |
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 Firecracker Dog Lover
Posts: 3175
| Life changes - and so do our priorities and time available. Horses are supposed to be fun and life is too short - so sell this one, get a nice horse (in whatever D you and your checkbook feel comfortable) that you can jump on and ride and compete when you can and I guarantee the fun factor will come back. I know because I've been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt. Best decision I ever made. My only regret? Not doing it sooner. Good luck to you. | |
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 Shelter Dog Lover
Posts: 10277
| Don’t feel defeated, we don’t know what we don’t know. The best money I ever spent was sending mine to a great trainer, not only did the horse learn but I learned too. This is a great opportunity to further your skills, find a really great one and send the horse and then go take a few lessons on him and let them teach you. | |
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Go Get Em!
Posts: 13503
Location: OH. IO | rodeomom3 - 2017-12-14 6:41 PM
Don’t feel defeated, we don’t know what we don’t know. The best money I ever spent was sending mine to a great trainer, not only did the horse learn but I learned too. This is a great opportunity to further your skills, find a really great one and send the horse and then go take a few lessons on him and let them teach you.
I agree with this. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1718
Location: Southeast Louisiana | You have nothing to feel bad about. You’ve done right by your horse by giving him skills that will help him to be a good horse for someone. I know you wish it could be you, but admitting you’re not compatible is better than beating your head against the wall trying to force something to work. | |
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The Advice Guru
Posts: 6419
| Not all horses fit the same program, not all people fit every horse.
It doesn't make the person better or worse if they click with one or don't click with another.
What makes a great horseman is admitting things aren't working, asking for help, and even saying I have done everything I can, this horse needs to find a different home to succeed.
Not all horses are cut out to be barrel horses, maybe yours doesn't want to be one. | |
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Expert
Posts: 1631
Location: Somewhere around here | Thanks everyone. I was talking to Tana R. last night and she suggested I do Horse Hair Analysis with him before going to a trainer, just to see if there's anything we can fix internally before we go back to training ideas. I was pretty surprised at how low the cost was going to be and how quick I would get results, so were snipping hairs today and should get results back within 8-10 days. Then if we do sell him we can say for a fact that there's nothing wrong with him, and if there is something wrong or off balance then we can fix it.
I want to apoligize for typing this up. Thank you for listening to me, but yesterday was just a plaid ol bad day with multiple things going wrong or happening. I don't want symphathy for that, everyone has bad days, I just think I could've handled mine better lol.
Edited by cecollins0811 2017-12-15 7:40 AM
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Expert
Posts: 1280
Location: Texas | I would not do the horse hair analysis thing again. I did it, wasted some time & money (the analysis was cheap, but the supplements were not, and the supplements didn't help), and I learned from that. I like science. I would say that if you do decide to do it, check into the actual science behind the analysis. I agree with the idea of sending the horse to a trainer though. | |
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| I agree with the other BBs about sending him to a trainer. As humans, we have to know our limitations, and that's why there are experts in every field. Don't take it as a personal slight if you decide to send him off, take it as a good thing that you recognize he needs more help than you are able to provide at this point. After having two kids (or doing anything that changes your body composition), your riding style may be different without you even realizing it. Like you said, you two aren't in sync anymore- maybe you need to slow it back down to basics and build up your confidence in each other (and yourself) again. Don't beat yourself up, but don't just throw in the towel without figuring out your options first. If you do decide to sell him, it might be good to send him to a trainer for a month or two anyway, to tune him up and getting him running nice so you can advertise him. It's never fun to try and sell a horse you don't get along with- the trainer might be able to show him off in a better light.
On a side note, if you've been feeling kind of down and out and punky for awhile now, especially after having two kids- have you thought at all about the possibility of post partum depression? I don't know you from Adam, but I do know that it is real, and can take a HUGE toll on every day life, including things you used to love and enjoy doing.
I hope you are doing better today! | |
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 pressure dripper
Posts: 8699
Location: the end of the rainbow | tracies - 2017-12-15 7:08 AM
I would not do the horse hair analysis thing again. I did it, wasted some time & money (the analysis was cheap, but the supplements were not, and the supplements didn't help), and I learned from that. I like science. I would say that if you do decide to do it, check into the actual science behind the analysis. I agree with the idea of sending the horse to a trainer though.
Who did you use? | |
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Location: in the ozone | what kind of things is he doing? Have you checked him for Lymes or PSSM2 variants? | |
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Expert
Posts: 1631
Location: Somewhere around here | madredepeanut - 2017-12-15 8:49 AM
I agree with the other BBs about sending him to a trainer. As humans, we have to know our limitations, and that's why there are experts in every field. Don't take it as a personal slight if you decide to send him off, take it as a good thing that you recognize he needs more help than you are able to provide at this point. After having two kids (or doing anything that changes your body composition), your riding style may be different without you even realizing it. Like you said, you two aren't in sync anymore- maybe you need to slow it back down to basics and build up your confidence in each other (and yourself) again. Don't beat yourself up, but don't just throw in the towel without figuring out your options first. If you do decide to sell him, it might be good to send him to a trainer for a month or two anyway, to tune him up and getting him running nice so you can advertise him. It's never fun to try and sell a horse you don't get along with- the trainer might be able to show him off in a better light.
On a side note, if you've been feeling kind of down and out and punky for awhile now, especially after having two kids- have you thought at all about the possibility of post partum depression? I don't know you from Adam, but I do know that it is real, and can take a HUGE toll on every day life, including things you used to love and enjoy doing.
I hope you are doing better today!
Thanks everyone :) both of my parents have had depression (among other issues) and I've had depression in the past. It's not a fun thing to go through. But how I'm feeling now and for the years that I've had my girls it's definitely not depressive. I've kept myself in check and payed attention to the signs or thoughts of PPD and I've stayed clear of that. Funny enough, the "me time" I get to have fun outside of the house and to keep my spirits up if I'm having a tough day is riding lol! Thank you for being concerned about that, I think more people should be.
As for the horse, I think we have a pretty good idea of trainers who we contacted or will contact and we're narrowing it down to price, quality, and who might be the best as selling him for us. | |
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Expert
Posts: 1631
Location: Somewhere around here | willrodeo4food - 2017-12-15 2:37 PM
tracies - 2017-12-15 7:08 AM
I would not do the horse hair analysis thing again. I did it, wasted some time & money (the analysis was cheap, but the supplements were not, and the supplements didn't help), and I learned from that. I like science. I would say that if you do decide to do it, check into the actual science behind the analysis. I agree with the idea of sending the horse to a trainer though.
Who did you use?
Does that mean you didn't buy the supplements or you bought them and they didn't work? | |
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Expert
Posts: 1631
Location: Somewhere around here | slipperyslope - 2017-12-15 3:26 PM
what kind of things is he doing? Have you checked him for Lymes or PSSM2 variants?
For Lyme's, I would be pretty surprised if he did because he doesn't show any of those symptoms and for PSSM2 he hasn't shown any signs of that either. He's not sluggish in any way, never tyed up, and overall he's a pretty happy-go-lucky type of horse. The only thing that I can think of with him is that he was born with clubby hooves but he 8 now and has had correct trimming for years and years now  | |
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| cecollins0811 - 2017-12-16 5:38 AM
madredepeanut - 2017-12-15 8:49 AM
I agree with the other BBs about sending him to a trainer. As humans, we have to know our limitations, and that's why there are experts in every field. Don't take it as a personal slight if you decide to send him off, take it as a good thing that you recognize he needs more help than you are able to provide at this point. After having two kids (or doing anything that changes your body composition), your riding style may be different without you even realizing it. Like you said, you two aren't in sync anymore- maybe you need to slow it back down to basics and build up your confidence in each other (and yourself) again. Don't beat yourself up, but don't just throw in the towel without figuring out your options first. If you do decide to sell him, it might be good to send him to a trainer for a month or two anyway, to tune him up and getting him running nice so you can advertise him. It's never fun to try and sell a horse you don't get along with- the trainer might be able to show him off in a better light.
On a side note, if you've been feeling kind of down and out and punky for awhile now, especially after having two kids- have you thought at all about the possibility of post partum depression? I don't know you from Adam, but I do know that it is real, and can take a HUGE toll on every day life, including things you used to love and enjoy doing.
I hope you are doing better today!
Thanks everyone : ) both of my parents have had depression (among other issues ) and I've had depression in the past. It's not a fun thing to go through. But how I'm feeling now and for the years that I've had my girls it's definitely not depressive. I've kept myself in check and payed attention to the signs or thoughts of PPD and I've stayed clear of that. Funny enough, the "me time" I get to have fun outside of the house and to keep my spirits up if I'm having a tough day is riding lol! Thank you for being concerned about that, I think more people should be.
As for the horse, I think we have a pretty good idea of trainers who we contacted or will contact and we're narrowing it down to price, quality, and who might be the best as selling him for us.
That is great you are able to keep yourself in check- mental health is paramount, and some people don't realize that until it is too late. My step dad always told me to "keep my highs low and my lows high", and instead of getting way up or down on the spectrum, try and maintain some middle ground. Spending time outside does wonders for our mental and physical health, especially this time of year (I'm not sure where you're located, but we have to supplement a lot of vitamin D due to the lack of sunlight we get up here).
You sound to be headed in the right direction with your horse, I hope it all works out and you continue to have peace through this decision, knowing you are doing what's best for you and your horse!  | |
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