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  Playing the Waiting Game
Posts: 2304
 
| I was told by my heart dr that if my leaking valve got any worse he would have to do surgery. This would require cracking me open like a lobster AGAIN! I'm having a struggle with myself on wether I want to go through another surgery. Most of you remember my latest health issues with my breast cancer and multiple surgeries on that. Some of you know about my other MANY health issues. All totaled I've been under general anestisia (sp) 32 times.
I have already told my boys that if I get cancer again (I've lived through 3 cancers) I wouldn't go through any type of treatment again, and they are fine with that. Well this isn't cancer so of course they aren't prepared for me to throw in the towel on another heart surgery.
I pretty much raised both my boys alone (divorced). Thier dad was available in body but not real good emotionally. I guess I'm looking for insight on what some of you would do in the same situation. Not really looking for "You can do it" or Hang in there... I'm thinking I'd like to just live until I die and not have to go through all that pain and expense again.
Lay it on my what's all ya's opinions? |
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 "Mom"
| I think it is normal for you feel as you do. You have proven already that you are a fighter and we admire your courage.
There are alot of advances in heart surgery. Perhaps there is miminally invasive surgery available for your condition. Please be assured all of us at BHW will be praying for you and will support you through any decision you make.
Shouldn't your son be returning from Kuwait soon? Aaron is coming home tonight. (Yippee!) He left Iraq on Saturday and is enroute at this moment. We are just waiting word to hear when he lands in Chicago. |
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 More bootie than waist!
Posts: 18425
 
Location: Riding Crackhead. | Don't give up. Never give up. I understand you feeling the way you do but no matter how old those boys get - they still need their mom. |
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 Expert
Posts: 4121
Location: SE Louisiana | Ya know Suzy... any time I start to think I have it bad.... I think about you and all you have been though. You are an inspiration to me... I think about all the miseries you have suffered through and my problems seem miniscule. I love you to death...  |
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 BHW Resident Surgeon
Posts: 25351
Location: Bastrop, Texas | You are a tough bird. Ask yourself if there's anything left to live for.....then decide. |
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 Total Germophobe
Posts: 6437
Location: Montana | Suzy, prayers for you. I can't say what is right or not right in your case, and I won't. You know better than any doctor how you feel. So prayers for you. |
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 Angel in a Sorrel Coat
Posts: 16030
Location: In a happy place | Suzy I am sorry you are facing this now. There just comes a time when keeping on just seems so overwhelming considering the toll it takes on a person. I think Doc is right. Do you have somethng you really want to live for? I know your sons love you so much. I have no answers but I will be praying for you daily. |
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | sorrel horse ranch - 2015-03-06 11:17 PM
Suzy I am sorry you are facing this now. There just comes a time when keeping on just seems so overwhelming considering the toll it takes on a person. I think Doc is right. Do you have somethng you really want to live for? I know your sons love you so much. I have no answers but I will be praying for you daily.
I think this says it perfectly. Prayers to you in this tough time and tough decision. God is still in the miracle business and could make this a moot discussion! |
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Expert
Posts: 3147
| One of my college classmates works in a cath lab in OKC. She told me that they are putting in mitral valves using catheters similar to those they use in angioplasties, stent placements, etc. No chest cracking. i don't know if your heart problem can be fixed less invasively, but it's worth looking into. Good luck. |
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I AM being nice
Posts: 4396
Location: MD | My mother has also endured many health issues. She was also a single mother for most of my childhood. After the divorce, Mom went back to work as a psych nurse. One of her patients violently attacked her, causing severe brain damage and damage to her nervous system. She also had heart conditions. While rehabbing from the brain damage, her Mitro valve was closing at a very rapid rate. The Dr's informed her that she would have to undergo a replacement within the next 6 months. Mom sat us all down, I was 10 at the time (1990), my sister 15 and my brother 22 and explained to us that she just could not endure yet another major surgery and recovery. I accepted it more easily than my siblings.
My mother has a very strong faith and always believed then when it was her time to go, she would be at peace with that. She didn't have the valve replacement and over the course of the next 10 years, the valve actually opened a bit. Fast forward to 2013. Mom was living in an assisted living community. She called to tell me that she was having some troubles, was very lethargic and spent much of her time in bed. After going to the Dr, it was discovered that her Mitro valve had once again closed to a critical point. We spoke for hours about what she wanted to do. I expected that she would say that she wouldn't have surgery, but to my surprise, she was contemplating it. In the end, she did have surgery. After a year of recovery, she wound up back under the knife, this time to have her Aortic valve replaced. I was totally astounded that she had elected to have those two surgeries after everything that she had already suffered.
Another year of rehab and Mom is back to living a life that she hasn't been able to for many, many years. She tells me that she will not have anything else done and I believe her. I have been at peace with my mother's wishes for so many years now that I can't truly remember the emotions that I struggled with back then. I do know that even in situations where I might not have agreed with her choices, I always respected them. My siblings hate me for this fact. They argued with our mother during so many difficult discussions. I never understood that. It is her body, her pain. Only she knew what she could endure and I have always felt that it would be selfish of me to ask her to suffer through even more for my sake. |
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Playing the Waiting Game
Posts: 2304
| Gail - 2015-03-06 7:18 PM I think it is normal for you feel as you do. You have proven already that you are a fighter and we admire your courage.
There are alot of advances in heart surgery. Perhaps there is miminally invasive surgery available for your condition. Please be assured all of us at BHW will be praying for you and will support you through any decision you make.
Shouldn't your son be returning from Kuwait soon? Aaron is coming home tonight. (Yippee!) He left Iraq on Saturday and is enroute at this moment. We are just waiting word to hear when he lands in Chicago.
Yes he is we are driving to Ft Riley tonight to see him... he suppose to be in Sun 5am |
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 Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | Not to offend you but the title of the thread made me giggle a little, I was expecting a “toilet issue”……
I have followed your health struggles and have admired your courage and strength. You are a very strong lady and only you can make the decision put before you. I agree with Scott…..look at your life and consider what you have to live for and the quality of that life before deciding your own fate. Please know that whatever you decide, you will be in the thoughts and prayers of everyone here……
Give your son a big ol' welcome home and Thank you for his service!!!
Edited by NJJ 2015-03-07 11:10 AM
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Playing the Waiting Game
Posts: 2304
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Well that made me laugh!! |
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Cold hands and Warm Heart
Location: oklahoma | suzy2qtee - 2015-03-07 7:45 AM Gail - 2015-03-06 7:18 PM I think it is normal for you feel as you do. You have proven already that you are a fighter and we admire your courage.
There are alot of advances in heart surgery. Perhaps there is miminally invasive surgery available for your condition. Please be assured all of us at BHW will be praying for you and will support you through any decision you make.
Shouldn't your son be returning from Kuwait soon? Aaron is coming home tonight. (Yippee!) He left Iraq on Saturday and is enroute at this moment. We are just waiting word to hear when he lands in Chicago. Yes he is we are driving to Ft Riley tonight to see him... he suppose to be in Sun 5am
Ft. Riley was our first duty station, almost 30 years ago. Prayers for you. Please tell your son thank you and you guys enjoy the time together, beautiful weekend. |
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Angel in a Sorrel Coat
Posts: 16030
Location: In a happy place | Give your son a huge hug for me. So glad you are going to get to see him. Thank him for his service for me. |
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 Twin Sister to Queen Boobie
Posts: 13315
Location: East Tennessee but who knows?! | Bear - 2015-03-06 9:47 PM You are a tough bird. Ask yourself if there's anything left to live for.....then decide.
Hate you're feeling discouraged but I understand it and you're the only one that can make that decision. Sometimes you just get tired. Hugs and prayers. |
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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | Prayers to you...I hope you find peace in your decision. |
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Angel in a Sorrel Coat
Posts: 16030
Location: In a happy place | Just know I am here for you whatever you decide. Continued prayers. |
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Veteran
Posts: 195
| Have you looked into whether there are any options for a different procedure to correct a valve leaking? My mom just had an aortic valve replacement done at Mayo Clinic and was able to have a TAVR procedure that did not involve breaking the breastbone? They were able to go through the groin and place a new valve inside the leaking aortic valve. They do have pretty strict qualification procedures that involve prior heart surgery and fraility issues. She has bounced back amazingly and is back to being active again within two months.
Best of luck! |
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 I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
Location: MD | Bear - 2015-03-06 10:47 PM
You are a tough bird. Ask yourself if there's anything left to live for.....then decide.
Bear is on point here. You are one tough chick and if you don't have the answers, I know of someone who does |
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