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 Ima Fickle Fan
Posts: 3547
   
Location: Texas | It sounds like he is trying to offer constructive criticism and it's not being taken as such. My husband and I have the same problem. He thinks he's helping, and I think he's nit-picking. The other problem is that this horse is his hard work, blood, sweat, and probably a few tears. It would be hard to hand that over and watch someone not ride the horse as he trained it to be ridden.
Like others have said, get his input, have him show you how he trained the horse, and go from there. Also, I like hubby getting on every now and then and tuning up on my horse for me. He's a stronger rider and all of our horses are much better for me after he's been on. | |
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 Experienced Mouse Trapper
Posts: 3106
Location: North Dakota | winwillows - 2014-10-05 9:39 AM Why create a problem between you over this horse? Sounds like you already have an open horse to run, right? Two weeks is not enough time to turn a finished competitive Reiner into a barrel horse. Especially, if he has not been used for a while. If your husband started, trained and won on this horse he may have some valid input. I am sure that you know that riding reiners is different, and based on very light leg and seat signals along with a looser rein and lighter hands. I think you are asking a lot of both your husband and his horse in too short a time. Asking him, in a nice way, to ride his horse and show you what he feels you are missing, was good advice. If you insist on making his horse your project, try to do it together. That sounds like a fun project. Think about how you would feel if he decided to make your barrel horse into a Reiner that ge could show.
This AND speaking from experience, A little bit of appreciation and gratitude towards those that are truly helping and or creating a great situation for you goes a looooong way. | |
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 Do You Feel Lucky Punk?
Posts: 3156
Location: NM...the Land of Manana | jayb - 2014-10-04 7:48 PM Can I suggest you get your husband to ride the horse himself and realize that he isn't responding to the cues that your giving him as well as hubby thinks he is.. that's what I made my husband do when he critiqued me.. he shut up fast 
Agreed! | |
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 I Chore in Chucks
Posts: 2882
Location: MD | whenever I'm getting unwarranted advice from my SO, I always say, "I love you very much." It's always in a tone that says, I really do love you but I can't handle what you're telling me right now. Either I can't deal with it, I don't want to deal with it, or I'd rather figure it out on my own. Then when I'm done I always apologize and say why I couldn't deal at that time, then it's done and over with and we can move on to something that isn't creating friction. I feel it's kind of a humorous way to avoid conflict and give out a warning without me acting like a jacka$$.
It's always worked, granted he doesn't ride horses and this is a different circumstance obviously but it can be applied in different ways.
I do agree though, why make that horse he doesn't want to hand the reins over for a problem between the two of you? | |
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