I am thinking of you as well.I struggled with this situation all day :( Hugs and prayers for you.

Hey guys, I wanted to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Just an update: I have stood my ground. I have offered moral support but thats it. I spoke to them yesterday and they told me that " I didn't know what it was like to be in their situation and I apparently didn't care". I have a lengthy spreadsheet that suggests otherwise. I guess sometimes you have to let people figure it out for themselves. It isnt fair to drain yourself. They got their job back, just working through some other issues.

Good for you---and we all know otherwise on the "apparently you don't care" statement. Hugs and continued prayers to you 

I feel your pain. I have been helping my partner who had weed addiction. Besides from the marijuana addiction, he has also hidden his financial issues from me (i.e. getting loans that he cannot afford). Our most recent argument, he mentioned again that he'll be quitting once we have children. Having read many resources like https://addictionresource.com/drugs/marijuana/ , I understand that he may never quit and I feel that he is only using that as an excuse to keep me from leaving him.

Not nearly the same as marijuana, but my husband promised he would quit chewing tabacco when we got married, then it was after we had our first born, then our second child, now our third. People quit habits when they want to, not because of timelines. I wouldn't hold my breath. 

Exactly.... I quit smoking cigarettes cold turkey 4 years ago. I just up and decided I wanted it to be over. It wasnt easy at first.  I had cravings, I wanted to be around the smell... now I absolutely cannot stand it..  makes me sick! My husband dips and I hate it. He quit for about a month and started back up again.  I cannot make him do it. I leave him alone, he says hes going to quit again though. He just says hes not as strong as I am. But I had it set in my mind it was over and each hour without, sometimes, minutes,  was a victory 

Thats his excuse for you not leaving but what is YOUR excuse for not leaving?  Its easier said than done to leave but its much simpler to leave before youve brought children into the mix.  

just me but no way in hades i be aroundr some that does drugs  

I 'remind' my husband on occassion that it bothers me so that it stays in the back of his mind, but I don't bug him about quitting anymore. He wants to quit too, but he's not there yet. 

I'd love to hear an update from the OP how her family member is doing. 

One of my favorite crusty old sayings:    " Neither a borrower nor a lender be."

I have a nephew like this.  Even his own mother quit trying to help him.  He panhandled at Christmas parties using his kids to try to extract money from his relation.  

Kudo's for standing your ground!  You may not realize it yet but that is the best thing you could do for them.  They have to learn to do for themselves.  It is very hard to watch someone hit rock bottom but that is exactly what they need to do.  I would however make sure that the child is ok.  Prayers that everything works out for all

I'm sorry - my mom is in the same predicament with family member who has NEVER been in control of her life. She had two children in the mix, which is why my mom, dad, and other family members were helping for years. Now the youngest is graduating with a great opportunity for college. Family member will probably be cut off at that point. A long time coming. At the end of it, throwing money at her has never really help and has only created heartache.