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 You get what you give
Posts: 13030
   
Location: Texas | That's what happens when you move away. My family moved away after high school and I lost almost all of my childhood friends. The fact is, they are going to live their life as normal… we are the ones that left. And I got tired of trying to make plans on holidays and no one following through- so guess what- Good Riddance.
I have a small group of friends now, and can always find someone to chat with at the races. You don't need A TON of friends, and you shouldn't compare yourself to those who have a bunch. I just need a few good friends and I am set. I am really close with my family as well.
I think the biggest thing with me and making friends at new places… I wasn't afraid of getting shot down or looking dumb. When I got into vet school I knew ONE person out of the 133 of us. It took lots of awkward conversation starters, and I admit anytime I would hear "horse" in someone else's conversation I would jump in and run the risk of someone accusing me of eaves dropping.. but I ended up making a ton of friends and a few really close ones in this semester. It's a risk of rejection and I was okay with looking like an idiot a time or two. | |
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 Ms Bling Bling Sleeze Kitty
Posts: 20904
 
Location: LouLouVille, OK | Three 4 Luck - 2013-12-12 9:17 AM cindyt - 2013-12-12 9:15 AMWhen I moved 13 hrs from "home" 9 yrs ago, I felt pretty alone for a while.. and the only friends I really had were the few people I worked with and one neighbor that I didn't give a choice, she was going to be my friend like it or not! lol
now, 9 yrs later, I am blessed with a wonderful group of friends... met a few at races, met some through work, some through other friends and some online (three 4 luck ;) and they are all stuck with me... I have also had a friend for some 38 years... :) I find good ones and I hang onto um... the trick is weeding out the crappers LOL
Don't worry, strike up conversatins at the farm stores, wally where ever you are... eye contact is a big thing and you never know where it will go :) I love our text conversations. You never know where those suckers are going. Hehe
And I agree about eye contact. And smile. Ask people about themselves. I have a hard time with that because I feel nosy but most people love to talk about themselves.
LOL... Yea... you and me... we can sure venture off the beaten path on text....LOL
and I love every min of it!
When I was at my lowest point... I listened to a preacher, and she said pick your head up, make eye contact with people and smile and you would be amazed at what a bright smile and a good morning does for people. It did just as much for me as it prob did for them (prob even more for me) but I can usually start a conversation anywhere... yes... it's a gift lol
I love to talk, but I also love my alone time... so maybe its the choice I have between the 2? Idk but I do enjoy myself no matter what.
Biggest thing I think is just being approachable... smile  | |
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 Pork Fat is my Favorite
Posts: 3791
Location: The Oklahoma plains. | I understand how you feel. My husband is my best friend. Im pretty direct and that often offends people even though that is not my intention so I just try and remain quiet which then seems aloof. I feel I cant win so Id rather be alone as far as girlfriends. When I hear how bad they talk about the people the DO like and haul with- I can only imagine what they say about me.
Our time at home is so limited that it is very hard for us to feel the need to get away. We dont have a lot in common with many people that arent horse people. So that sums it up.  | |
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 Balance Beam and more...
Posts: 11493
Location: 31 lengths farms | I have 2 friends, friends since grade school and I'm now 48. One I do my horsey stuff with and the other I do my workout and shoe shopping with ( I give her a bad time about sucking as an Indian, terrified of horses and no sense of direction, LOL, only thing she got right was the permanent tan part...) My horse buddy friend and I dont' get to see each other all that much in reality, she lives 2 hours away and has a little girl, she is on the road to races way more than I can go but I know if I need something or to just talk she's there. My workout buddy and I had quit hanging out for awhile, she got busy with her girls in HS sports and I got busy with my mom and taking care of her and my fiancé and trying to keep our relationship fresh while living at home, working and taking care of an elder ill parent, doesn't leave time for a lot of "girl time" but when her youngest went to college I knew she would need some distractions and I needed some me time so I called her up after a 5 year absence and told her we were "getting the Band back together..." LOL!!!
Basically you dont' have to have a multitude of friends but good ones never go out of style. You can call them up just like I did Chari and you are back where you were 5 years before. We have supported each other thru my loss of 2 brothers, my mom's illness, her marriage ending and the loss of her mom here a few months ago.
I know for me my horses make my life okay more so than friends do, even my fiancé recognizes that. When life starts to get to be overwhelming he always say "you NEED to go ride" and really that is what gets me on track more so than a day of shopping with Chari or even riding with Annette, just me and my horses. | |
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