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Expert
Posts: 2531
  
Location: WI | Help! My Dad has been seeing someone on and off for the last 5 years. Their relationship is tumultuous at best, but I think he keeps taking her back because he enjoys the company (divorced since '99 and retired). He has said he feels like he's walking on eggshells when she's around. This last weekend, 3 of us were over to visit for Thanksgiving. She wasn't there, didn't even come up - I knew she had recently moved out - again. We all get a text message from her after we left that she was not out shopping like my dad told us (he didn't), she asked him to tell us that she wanted to leave so we could have alone time with our dad. I don't even know how to respond to that?
I honestly think she keeps going back for his money. She even once told my dad 'you should take the girls off your will, so I can be the main benficiary. They are all married, they don't need your money' He told us this - then wonders why we don't like her? Her name is on the title to the house, even though she currently doesn't live there. It's not about the money - all of us have very successful professional careers. He will not marry again, and has been clear about this with her. My dad put her and my sister down as equal medical power of attorney, and she was upset that she wasn't the main.
I don't know how to deal with her - I want my dad to be happy. Try to like her? Just not so sure I can fake it! |
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 Undercover Amish Mafia Member
Posts: 9991
 
Location: Kansas | gold digger |
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 Expert
Posts: 1857
| You don't have to fake liking her. You do have to be respectful because it's your dads gf. None of us kids are fans of my mom's husband. He's dumber than a box of rocks BUT we are respectful of our mom so we are nice to him. We don't go out of our way to speak to him but we don't go out of our way not to either. She knows how we feel and I've made it clear that she shouldn't try to make us like or have anything to do with him. She married him, not us! She doesn't try to and all is well! |
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 Dog Resuce Agent
Posts: 3459
Location: southeast Texas | ^^^. Yep, just be respectful and don't get drawn into their drama. If she try's to draw you in, just say that she will have to talk to your dad, that you don't know. |
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 I'm Cooler Offline
Posts: 6387
Location: Pacific Northwest | Yeah like everyone else said, be respectful but you don't have to like her. My parents don't like my GF but they don't say anything negative when I talk about her and my mom didn't have a problem with me being late to Thanksgiving to do something with her/her family.
When I don't like someone, as long as I'm not forced to be around them all the time, I'm pretty good at being a decent human being. One thing I have learned about relationships is you can't make someone stop dating someone, no matter how awful/toxic/crappy the other person is. Unless there's a risk of actual physical harm, I just don't like those kind of things bother me anymore. |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 695
Location: Missouri | Sorry you are going thru this, BUT your dad should remove her from any power of attorney because if they are not together at that time when it is needed that could cause a lot of trouble and loss of valuable time to get her approval. Not sure if both her and your sister have equal say or how that works. good luck and I'm sure you dad probably knows deep down how you all feel about her but maybe waiting on you all to tell him. |
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