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 Don't Wanna Make This Awkward
Posts: 3106
  
Location: Texas | NJJ - 2016-02-24 5:44 PM Cowpony64 - 2016-02-24 4:38 PM Wow....just wow.
The OP may have not used the best judgement in mixing social media with work but the bottom line is that it is ALWAYS the manager that is responsible for making sure no lines are crossed. Even if she did give off inappropriate signals, its still the manager's responsibility to behave in a professional manner.
OP, you got some great advice on learning to be more assertive about boundries and honestly, while none of this is your fault, if you were my daughter I'd advise you to be very careful about social media usage, especially with the opposite gender. It's just too easy for the line to get crossed. You did the right thing in reporting your manager's behavior to his superiors. I believe you are legally obligated to share inappropriate behavior as this puts you, your co-workers and the company at risk. If he retaliates in any way, shape or form, you need to report that as well. Unfortunately, I think you missed this part of her post.......probably the reason that she is getting a "little" of the blame.......
I've had 6 jobs over the last 4 years, this will be my 2nd manager to get fired over harrassment reasons, the other one also mainly dealt with me as well, and every other job i've also left due to unprofessional circumstances.
Just to clarify- the other manager was way worse than this one. He clearly wanted a real relationship with me and I did set boundaries and no lines were ever crossed it was just the comments that he would consistently say. Until he crossed a line with another co worker of mine who then reported it. The others I labelled as "unproffesional circumstances" because they were in no way shape or form harrasment or sexual of any means. Just managers that were unprofessional to the point that I did not want to be associated with.
I am a very innocent girl and do not promote any kind of unprofessional behavior or act in any way that I believe would give off a vibe of flirting or something more than that.
I do agree I should have 1. Never accepted any of his requests to follow/add me on things and 2. Never let the friendship become personal/outside of work. I have fully accepted blame on my part for this.
Also in my own defense this situation was nothing like the first and didn't have any of the same kind of red flags. Totally new scenario and served as a great learning lesson.
Anyways maybe I didn't make my point clear enough in the thread, but just wanted to know if people dealt with this in all kinds of jobs and not just entry level/minimum wage type work. Thank you everyone for the advice, it is much appreciated.
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| I didn't miss it Norma. Let me repeat, despite ANY of the OP's behaviors, she is not to blame. The burden of responsibility falls solely on her manager. Suggesting she is to blame in any capacity is like blaming a rape victim because she/he was wearing suggestive clothing. I do believe the OP should make sure her behavior isn't suggestive, but from a work perspective, this falls completely on her manager.
Edited by Cowpony64 2016-02-24 6:53 PM
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 Strong Willed Woman
Posts: 6577
 
Location: Prosser, WA | Cowpony64 - 2016-02-24 4:49 PM
I didn't miss it Norma. Let me repeat, despite ANY of the OP's behaviors, she is not to blame. The burden of responsibility falls solely on her manager. Suggesting she is to blame in any capacity is like blaming a rape victim because she/he was wearing suggestive clothing. I do believe the OP should make sure her behavior isn't suggestive, but from a work perspective, this falls completely on her manager.
This. Exactly. | |
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Folks on-line