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Never Named
Posts: 1837
   
Location: Southern Alabama | Thank you, all of you. You don't know how much it really means to me. It is hard, that is anunderstatement. I have all these worries... will he ever have any friends? Will he be able to drive? Is he going to be made fun of when he goes to school? The list goes on and on. I have actually considered homeschooling him because I am so worried about how he will be treated when he goes. He is a little socially awkward, along with not being able to speak. But, I don't blame him. I have been trying to work with him more over the past couple of weeks, really getting him to talk. So far... it goes good some days, other days... I want to curl up under a rock. | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 575
| TURNNBURNCOWGIRL - 2017-01-12 2:17 PM Thank you, all of you. You don't know how much it really means to me. It is hard, that is anunderstatement. I have all these worries... will he ever have any friends? Will he be able to drive? Is he going to be made fun of when he goes to school? The list goes on and on. I have actually considered homeschooling him because I am so worried about how he will be treated when he goes. He is a little socially awkward, along with not being able to speak. But, I don't blame him. I have been trying to work with him more over the past couple of weeks, really getting him to talk. So far... it goes good some days, other days... I want to curl up under a rock.
I worked as an Instructional Aide in SpEd classes for the last 5 years at a semi 'rough' high school (lots of gang activity, stints in juvenile hall, etc). I will tell you that our kids had OODLES of friends throughout the school. Staff, other SpEd students, and a ton of GenEd students as well. Everyone loved them and they were so well received no matter where on campus we went. One of our kids even won Homecoming King last year. There are so many programs in place to help them integrate themselves. Some of our kids get to go out twice a week to their 'jobs' at local grocery stores, they learn how to use public transportation, etc. I know high school is a good ways away for you guys, but take comfort in knowing that there are so many young people who just don't judge the way we see so often. Your little man will absolutely have friends. | |
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Never Named
Posts: 1837
Location: Southern Alabama | rpreast - 2017-01-12 4:39 PM TURNNBURNCOWGIRL - 2017-01-12 2:17 PM Thank you, all of you. You don't know how much it really means to me. It is hard, that is anunderstatement. I have all these worries... will he ever have any friends? Will he be able to drive? Is he going to be made fun of when he goes to school? The list goes on and on. I have actually considered homeschooling him because I am so worried about how he will be treated when he goes. He is a little socially awkward, along with not being able to speak. But, I don't blame him. I have been trying to work with him more over the past couple of weeks, really getting him to talk. So far... it goes good some days, other days... I want to curl up under a rock. I worked as an Instructional Aide in SpEd classes for the last 5 years at a semi 'rough' high school (lots of gang activity, stints in juvenile hall, etc). I will tell you that our kids had OODLES of friends throughout the school. Staff, other SpEd students, and a ton of GenEd students as well. Everyone loved them and they were so well received no matter where on campus we went. One of our kids even won Homecoming King last year. There are so many programs in place to help them integrate themselves. Some of our kids get to go out twice a week to their 'jobs' at local grocery stores, they learn how to use public transportation, etc. I know high school is a good ways away for you guys, but take comfort in knowing that there are so many young people who just don't judge the way we see so often. Your little man will absolutely have friends.
Thank you. It's a really hard pill to swallow, just thinking about the ridicule he may face. He is so sweet and sensitive, it just breaks my heart thinking about these things. I can't even begin to tell any of you how many times I have sat up at night and just cried. For my baby. | |
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 To the Left
Posts: 1865
Location: Florida | Around 20 years ago I sold a litter of Springer Spaniel puppies. There was one I was thinking about keeping so I named him Davie. A couple with a young boy came to look at the puppies and picked him. The mother was holding the boy, maybe 4 years old and I brought up the puppy and told him this was his puppy and his name is Davie. The little boy smiled and said Davie. The mother started crying. I felt bad, didn't know what I had done. The father pulled me aside and told me that this was the first word he had said in his life, he was autistic (not well understood back then). Considering I did want to keep that puppy, it made me feel that this was what was meant to be.
You never know when you will have a milestone, keep the faith.
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  Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | TURNNBURNCOWGIRL - 2017-01-12 3:17 PM Thank you, all of you. You don't know how much it really means to me. It is hard, that is anunderstatement. I have all these worries... will he ever have any friends? Will he be able to drive? Is he going to be made fun of when he goes to school? The list goes on and on. I have actually considered homeschooling him because I am so worried about how he will be treated when he goes. He is a little socially awkward, along with not being able to speak. But, I don't blame him. I have been trying to work with him more over the past couple of weeks, really getting him to talk. So far... it goes good some days, other days... I want to curl up under a rock.
Even though it is a mother's fear that wants to insulate and protect him, please don't keep him home ..... you will be surprised at what interactions with other children will do to help him. | |
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Never Named
Posts: 1837
Location: Southern Alabama | NJJ - 2017-01-12 6:27 PM TURNNBURNCOWGIRL - 2017-01-12 3:17 PM Thank you, all of you. You don't know how much it really means to me. It is hard, that is anunderstatement. I have all these worries... will he ever have any friends? Will he be able to drive? Is he going to be made fun of when he goes to school? The list goes on and on. I have actually considered homeschooling him because I am so worried about how he will be treated when he goes. He is a little socially awkward, along with not being able to speak. But, I don't blame him. I have been trying to work with him more over the past couple of weeks, really getting him to talk. So far... it goes good some days, other days... I want to curl up under a rock. Even though it is a mother's fear that wants to insulate and protect him, please don't keep him home ..... you will be surprised at what interactions with other children will do to help him.
That's the thing.... I want to protect MY baby... shelter him from all the cruel, demented, mean things in this world. But, how healthy is that? Just hanging with Mom, all day, every day. It isn't. He needs friends and to learn to do things on his own and gain some independence, right? Am I rambling? But... in the same sense, I want to keep him all to myself and keep him safe, physically, mentally, emotionally, everything. | |
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Never Named
Posts: 1837
Location: Southern Alabama | Vickie - 2017-01-12 6:24 PM Around 20 years ago I sold a litter of Springer Spaniel puppies. There was one I was thinking about keeping so I named him Davie. A couple with a young boy came to look at the puppies and picked him. The mother was holding the boy, maybe 4 years old and I brought up the puppy and told him this was his puppy and his name is Davie. The little boy smiled and said Davie. The mother started crying. I felt bad, didn't know what I had done. The father pulled me aside and told me that this was the first word he had said in his life, he was autistic (not well understood back then). Considering I did want to keep that puppy, it made me feel that this was what was meant to be.
You never know when you will have a milestone, keep the faith.
That's the thing... we have a milestone yesterday. I'll explain.... Memphis is very picky about what he eats. He only really eats waffles. I mean, he will eat other things, but, very seldom. And, it's only things like macaroni and cheese, pizza, pudding... things like that. Well, the last few weeks, I have really been working with him on talking. Even to just say one syllable of a word. I asked him what he wanted to eat.... he said WAFFLE. Well, it wasn't as if you or I said it... it was more like 'waaa-few' but, he tried. And, he was so proud of himself. All I could do was sit in the floor and cry, with him looking at me like I was crazy. I see all these other mothers talking about how they would love their kids to shut up... I want to grab them and SHAKE THEM. Tell them my son has never said 'Moma'... has never said 'I love you' to me. I have never got to hear his sweet little voice. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 3815
Location: The best kept secret in TX | Bear with me:
I have three beautiful family members in my life who are autistic. My cousin is almost 30 and functions like he is about 12. The other cousin is high functioning and non verbal. The third is my second cousin. He is high functioning and verbal.
The first was kept at home. Homeschooled and has no friends. No memories. Barely graduated highschool and lives with his mother. He has no idea how to do things himself and will never learn from the mother he has. Why? She shelters him and treats him like he has no idea how to even think for himself.
The second was also homeschooled and given no therapy. He can do lots of things on his own because his mother taught him. However, he has no idea how to make friends. He still does not say a word even at 10 years old. He will run away from his mother INSIDE A STORE to hide if she asks him to say hi or she tries to introduce him to someone new.
The third is my second cousin. He didn't say a word until he was 4. And it was a whole sentence. He has attended therapy, both speech and physical, at a therapy center in LA. His mom used to have to pin him down to brush his hair, teeth, and bathe him. Why? He screamed bloody murder because of a sensory processing disorder. He now attends a public school and was placed in a special education class. He is now 7 and can read, write, and even brushes his own teeth and hair. He will still have a meltdown every now and again. In fact his mom sent me a snapchat video over the Christmas break of him pushing himself around he kitchen island. He was laying on his back and pushing himself with his feet and SCREAMING saying he wanted to go to school and learn and that his teacher was going to miss him if she didn't take him to school. She said Baby there isn't school because it's Christmas. He said No Momma School please school! He was made fun of. He was picked on. And my cosuin was picked on by the other Moms at the school. But she held her head high, waved and said good morning every single day and taught her son to treat others with kindness even when they are mean.
It's all in how you raise them my dear. You are doing a wonderful job. No Mother does it better than the other. It makes it 100 times harder to raise one with Autism but unless they have exposure to life they will never learn anything. The other two family members I have are going to be heart broken, angry, sad, and lost when their mothers die. They will know nothing. They won't be able to live alone. My secind cousin may be so high functioning that he is able to go to college, drive, and even live alone. His therapist is amazed at how well school has been for him. You'll make the right decisions for him. Teach him. Laugh with him. Play with him. And never ever think you are a terrible mom or a terrible person. It's all going to be okay. You aren't alone.   | |
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Fact Checker
Posts: 16572
Location: Displaced Iowegian | IRunOnFaith - 2017-01-13 9:21 AM Bear with me:
I have three beautiful family members in my life who are autistic. My cousin is almost 30 and functions like he is about 12. The other cousin is high functioning and non verbal. The third is my second cousin. He is high functioning and verbal.
The first was kept at home. Homeschooled and has no friends. No memories. Barely graduated highschool and lives with his mother. He has no idea how to do things himself and will never learn from the mother he has. Why? She shelters him and treats him like he has no idea how to even think for himself.
The second was also homeschooled and given no therapy. He can do lots of things on his own because his mother taught him. However, he has no idea how to make friends. He still does not say a word even at 10 years old. He will run away from his mother INSIDE A STORE to hide if she asks him to say hi or she tries to introduce him to someone new.
The third is my second cousin. He didn't say a word until he was 4. And it was a whole sentence. He has attended therapy, both speech and physical, at a therapy center in LA. His mom used to have to pin him down to brush his hair, teeth, and bathe him. Why? He screamed bloody murder because of a sensory processing disorder. He now attends a public school and was placed in a special education class. He is now 7 and can read, write, and even brushes his own teeth and hair. He will still have a meltdown every now and again. In fact his mom sent me a snapchat video over the Christmas break of him pushing himself around he kitchen island. He was laying on his back and pushing himself with his feet and SCREAMING saying he wanted to go to school and learn and that his teacher was going to miss him if she didn't take him to school. She said Baby there isn't school because it's Christmas. He said No Momma School please school! He was made fun of. He was picked on. And my cosuin was picked on by the other Moms at the school. But she held her head high, waved and said good morning every single day and taught her son to treat others with kindness even when they are mean.
It's all in how you raise them my dear. You are doing a wonderful job. No Mother does it better than the other. It makes it 100 times harder to raise one with Autism but unless they have exposure to life they will never learn anything. The other two family members I have are going to be heart broken, angry, sad, and lost when their mothers die. They will know nothing. They won't be able to live alone. My secind cousin may be so high functioning that he is able to go to college, drive, and even live alone. His therapist is amazed at how well school has been for him. You'll make the right decisions for him. Teach him. Laugh with him. Play with him. And never ever think you are a terrible mom or a terrible person. It's all going to be okay. You aren't alone.
^^^^^ one hundred percent TRUE ......  | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1612
Location: Cocoa, Florida | Anyone that has raised or is raising an autistic child or any child with a disability is a hero in my book, so many people gave up just like my step daughters mother did. You'll never do wrong as long as you're trying your best. Animals are the best thing that has happened to our daughter. My 3 year old golden doodle is her service dog right now, he adores her, follows her around, she plays with him for hours, it's so good for them. Now that she's having seizures it's hard to keep her on a horse but even just taking her out to brush, groom and feed is so good for them! I can't even brush her hair without a struggle and screaming seasion but the most precious thing about autistic children is their quick forgiveness and love for others. They don't hold grudges and they love unconditionally! You'll never meet anyone more special then an autistic child! | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1718
Location: Southeast Louisiana | TURNNBURNCOWGIRL - 2017-01-13 7:51 AM
Vickie - 2017-01-12 6:24 PM Around 20 years ago I sold a litter of Springer Spaniel puppies. Â There was one I was thinking about keeping so I named him Davie. Â A couple with a young boy came to look at the puppies and picked him. Â The mother was holding the boy, maybe 4 years old and I brought up the puppy and told him this was his puppy and his name is Davie. Â The little boy smiled and said Davie. Â The mother started crying. Â I felt bad, didn't know what I had done. Â The father pulled me aside and told me that this was the first word he had said in his life, he was autistic (not well understood back then). Â Considering I did want to keep that puppy, it made me feel that this was what was meant to be.
You never know when you will have a milestone, keep the faith.
Â
That's the thing... we have a milestone yesterday. I'll explain.... Memphis is very picky about what he eats. He only really eats waffles. I mean, he will eat other things, but, very seldom. And, it's only things like macaroni and cheese, pizza, pudding... things like that. Well, the last few weeks, I have really been working with him on talking. Even to just say one syllable of a word. I asked him what he wanted to eat.... he said WAFFLE. Well, it wasn't as if you or I said it... it was more like 'waaa-few' but, he tried. And, he was so proud of himself. All I could do was sit in the floor and cry, with him looking at me like I was crazy. I see all these other mothers talking about how they would love their kids to shut up... I want to grab them and SHAKE THEM. Tell them my son has never said 'Moma'... has never said 'I love you' to me. I have never got to hear his sweet little voice. Â
Those two stories made me cry... I have no experience with this, but I want to just give you a big hug right now.
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 My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | TURNNBURNCOWGIRL - 2017-01-11 8:31 AM
A lot of times, when I take Memphis somewhere... people stare. He gets overwhelmed sometimes but, that's okay. We try, every day to learn something new. This week I have been trying to teach him how to say easy words - Okay. No. Please. Good. Bad. - things like that. We work on one word a day. He is trying, so hard. And, that is all that matters to me. The people who stare, I just always tell them 'Thank you' even if they don't say anything. They don't know the daily struggles my baby goes through... to just make his needs and wants understood. Â
But for the grace of God, it could be their child or grandchild---people just don't get it to be thankful for the many blessings they have and what it would be like to walk in someone else's shoes. . . . | |
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My Heart Be Happy
Posts: 9159
Location: Arkansas | TURNNBURNCOWGIRL - 2017-01-13 7:51 AM
Vickie - 2017-01-12 6:24 PM Around 20 years ago I sold a litter of Springer Spaniel puppies. Â There was one I was thinking about keeping so I named him Davie. Â A couple with a young boy came to look at the puppies and picked him. Â The mother was holding the boy, maybe 4 years old and I brought up the puppy and told him this was his puppy and his name is Davie. Â The little boy smiled and said Davie. Â The mother started crying. Â I felt bad, didn't know what I had done. Â The father pulled me aside and told me that this was the first word he had said in his life, he was autistic (not well understood back then). Â Considering I did want to keep that puppy, it made me feel that this was what was meant to be.
You never know when you will have a milestone, keep the faith.
Â
That's the thing... we have a milestone yesterday. I'll explain.... Memphis is very picky about what he eats. He only really eats waffles. I mean, he will eat other things, but, very seldom. And, it's only things like macaroni and cheese, pizza, pudding... things like that. Well, the last few weeks, I have really been working with him on talking. Even to just say one syllable of a word. I asked him what he wanted to eat.... he said WAFFLE. Well, it wasn't as if you or I said it... it was more like 'waaa-few' but, he tried. And, he was so proud of himself. All I could do was sit in the floor and cry, with him looking at me like I was crazy. I see all these other mothers talking about how they would love their kids to shut up... I want to grab them and SHAKE THEM. Tell them my son has never said 'Moma'... has never said 'I love you' to me. I have never got to hear his sweet little voice. Â
You are breaking my heart. You've also made me want to go wake my 18 year old "baby" up even tho he wouldn't appreciate it and just hold him and tell him I love him. Memphis is a blessed young man because God gave him the most wonderful momma---you and that baby are gonna hit milestone after milestone and we're all gonna cry and cheer with y'all every time you update us. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 777
Location: South Texas | Sounds like you're doing everything possible, and that it's working! Horses are great therapy! Count your blessings, including your son and husband, and rock on. God bless! ?? | |
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