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Elite Veteran
Posts: 616
 
Location: Texas | Bug Is Alive - 2014-04-26 2:26 PM
Oh wow, this man is 48? How old are you? Somehow, it sounded like he was younger in the story, but he is mature in age, but never grew up emotionally. He sounds self centered, especially when he retaliated against you by filing for a divorce to get even and lying to the judge. Two can play that game, so get your finances straight first, have your own bank account that he doesn't have access to, since you work. If you can afford to keep the place where you live, ask him to move out and have a good attorney first who is in your corner, but get prepared first. Don't you leave, make him leave, you've been married long enough to get 1/2. Don't let him bully you, stand up for yourself, you sound much younger than him, I think. I feel sorry for his next wife, she will have to deal with the same crap, and you will have learned a valuable lesson that will help you move on to someone who respects and cherishes you, and you will always wonder why you didn't do this sooner.
Yes 48 and so am I. I feel he is self centered, but he has always called me shelfish and tells me everything has to be about me. I have been working on all my affairs for the last 4 years, I didn't know if things would pan out for us so I have been trying to look out for myself. Thank you so much for your advice!!! | |
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Location: East of the Pecos | I've been in your shoes when I was in my late 30's but we divorced after he had an affair. Actually I moved out because we were renting at the time and the place wasn't ours and I had a better job offer about 100 miles away, so I took it and basically started over myself. I wish I prepared better back then, that was 20 yrs. ago, but no internet to get good advice from others. Him and the girl he cheated with only stayed together for about a year, and now he's divorced again from the next one. It was hard on me because like you, I was in love with him, but I feel so much better about myself and my life has greatly improved without him. I endured verbal abuse like you and then I even found out after I left that when we were at a rodeo and he disappeared for an hour or so that he was in the other girls trailer. I wish someone had told me all that at the time, but I guess they didn't want to feel nosy. When it's all over, I hope you don't find things out that people kept from you. If I had known all that, I would have made my move a lot sooner, but I trusted him, bad choice. good luck. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 616
Location: Texas | Bug Is Alive - 2014-04-27 9:36 AM
I've been in your shoes when I was in my late 30's but we divorced after he had an affair. Actually I moved out because we were renting at the time and the place wasn't ours and I had a better job offer about 100 miles away, so I took it and basically started over myself. I wish I prepared better back then, that was 20 yrs. ago, but no internet to get good advice from others. Him and the girl he cheated with only stayed together for about a year, and now he's divorced again from the next one. It was hard on me because like you, I was in love with him, but I feel so much better about myself and my life has greatly improved without him. I endured verbal abuse like you and then I even found out after I left that when we were at a rodeo and he disappeared for an hour or so that he was in the other girls trailer. I wish someone had told me all that at the time, but I guess they didn't want to feel nosy. When it's all over, I hope you don't find things out that people kept from you. If I had known all that, I would have made my move a lot sooner, but I trusted him, bad choice. good luck.
There is no telling what I don't know about, i just so wished the last time I left I would have stayed gone, I let my feeling overcome and my heart rule me instead of using my head. I would have been past all the pain and had a new life by now. It's so hard to make your heart stop loving even when someone has done bad things to you | |
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  Ms. Marine
Posts: 4641
Location: Texas | I'm wondering why you're still with that guy. Even though you still love him, he clearly doesn't love you enough to give a rats @$$ about what he's doing to you psychologically. He probably figures since you took him back twice, you'll take him back a third time. I think your best bet would be to send him packing and find someone who will actually treat you right. | |
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 Member
Posts: 42
Location: BFE | you said you have been married 12 years GET OUT NOW don't do what I did and waste 24 YEARS | |
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