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Location: That part of Texas | Something fun to read if you are like me and stuck in the cold today:
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's
a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their
eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross
the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the
chicken crossed the road.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.
The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle
ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road
before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What
we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not
taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which
is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the
chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of
life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just
drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my
friends, that chicken was gay. If you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the Liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's
as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will
be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart
warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and
went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and
balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
Chicken 2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? |
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