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Member
Posts: 22
Location: Kansas | dianeguinn - 2014-12-10 10:33 AM
troubledracer - 2014-12-09 9:10 PM
Another question. Why does marriage have to be work? My friendships aren't. They just happen. Shouldn't love just happen if it's the real deal?
I think I'm probably just naive to think it could be simple
IMO, the answer to this is that REAL love doesn't just happen. Lust happens, but we all know that it can die pretty quickly. Love is a choice. It's choosing to love another person even when they are unlovable. Without you having your own children, it's hard to describe. When you choose to love someone, you want them to be the very best they can be and you want to help them be, and even if they never get there, you still love them, no matter what. You don't want to change them; you want to love them with all their faults. By the same token, you want them to love you the same way.....with all your faults, including horses, if that's one of them. For the one who said the horses really do come ahead of her husband, I feel for you....if God saw fit to take every one of my horses, I would certainly be sad, but there's always another horse. If God saw fit to take my husband, I don't know if I could survive. As irritating as he can be, I love everything that he is, and I believe he loves me the same way. I KNOW I am unlovable a lot of the time, but he usually just grins and knows that the next minute, I won't be like that. I waited until I was 37 for a love like that, and although he's not perfect, and we've certainly had our rough patches, I know that I would have a very hard time (if not impossible time ) living without him or replacing him. I can always replace a horse. JMO
I wish there was a love button for this post.
I am not married yet but we're headed that way. And Diane's post is what I aspire for my marriage to be like. I know he would never ask me to give up my horses but God forbid something were to happen to them, I would be devastated but I would survive. I had horses before our relationship started and he understands how much they mean to me. He's not a horse person at all but he's learning. Just like I'm not a car/truck girl, besides the basics of maintaining my car and truck. But I'm learning, I now enjoy going to truck and tractor pulls with him and he goes with me to jackpots here and there. But I never expect him to go to every single one with me just as he doesn't expect me to go to every single pull or car show with him. The same way that I can sit a rodeo/jackpot etc. and never get bored he can spend all day at a car show. We compromise and go with each other but not all the time. I know it's said over and over again but I really believe communication and compromise are the 2 biggest things in creating a lasting and loving relationship. | |
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Member
Posts: 23
| Thank you guys. I love hearing how each of you think on this. Interesting how opposite some answers are. Sad thing is, I agree with them all in different ways.
Maybe I'm just lost. I don't even know what to think at this point. | |
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Member
Posts: 23
| teressa - 2014-12-10 9:30 AM
Because you don't sleep with your friends!! whole different kinda love and emotions....JMHO
Well.. Actually I do!!! You can fit atleast three in the need of my horse trailer!! Hahahaha! Not what you meant but I needed to smile.     | |
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 Expert
Posts: 4121
 
Location: SE Louisiana | troubledracer - 2014-12-10 7:16 PM teressa - 2014-12-10 9:30 AM Because you don't sleep with your friends!! whole different kinda love and emotions....JMHO Well.. Actually I do!!! You can fit atleast three in the need of my horse trailer!! Hahahaha! Not what you meant but I needed to smile.
Is it like???
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 A Somebody to Everybody
Posts: 41354
 
Location: Under The Big Sky Of Texas | komet. - 2014-12-10 7:36 PM
troubledracer - 2014-12-10 7:16 PM teressa - 2014-12-10 9:30 AM Because you don't sleep with your friends!! whole different kinda love and emotions....JMHO Well.. Actually I do!!! You can fit atleast three in the need of my horse trailer!! Hahahaha! Not what you meant but I needed to smile.
Is it like???
Now thats funny  | |
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 Ace Ventura Pet Detective
Posts: 2411
Location: Wisconsin | I think he is being very imature by bringing up your horses in your arguments, he knows thats what gets to you. If he really did love you, he would support what makes you happy. I met my husband at the age of 15 and we going on 35 yrs marriage. I started rodeoing and won my card at age of 19 and he has been nothing but supportive. Yes Im fortunate, but i was riding when i met him, and from the go, he knew that was my passion, and i made that clear that i had goals. I can tell you this...I listen to many peeps talk about how their husbands are and how they have to tip toe around going somewhere. I already had a parent that told me what to do, so thats not what i wanted in a marriage and frankly would have been divorced had i had to answer to someone....Now, i have also from the beginning included him, and he is more into than ever. Hates to miss anything. When i did go to rodeos, i wasnt the one who went to party and dance, and whenever to this day want to do something, I realized there is a respectful way of running it by my husband. I have never said "I am heading south for a couple weeks to so and so place" I have always said "Steve, you care if i head down to so and so place for a couple weeks and ride?" ..Sometimes including they figure they best join em rather than fight em. Life too short ladies, enjoy what you love to do with the person that loves you to do it! P.S. I have kept my Gold or should i say Old Card and plan on trying again with my futurity horse..We are both excited to see what new year gonna bring. Good Luck | |
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Ace Ventura Pet Detective
Posts: 2411
Location: Wisconsin | And thats really a funny video of the cats!! | |
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 Ms Bling Bling Sleeze Kitty
Posts: 20917
Location: LouLouVille, OK | troubledracer - 2014-12-09 8:42 PM To the people who say dump and run... I've considered that too. But if I do that and when I quit running and look back, can I say I gave it my all and truly tried? Nope. It's important to me to know if I become a statistic of the big d, that I tried and did not just easy out. I've done so many things "wrong" in life, I'd like to knowi did the best I can on something this big.
I think that is a big thing... if you exhaust every effort you got... you walk away knowing that... and while all the advice in the world is easy to say... it's hard to do, even if it's the right thing.
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 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | Murphy - 2014-12-10 11:30 AM
troubledracer - 2014-12-09 10:10 PM Another question. Why does marriage have to be work? My friendships aren't. They just happen. Shouldn't love just happen if it's the real deal? I think I'm probably just naive to think it could be simple
My marriage isn't work. I'm at work for 10 hours a day, I don't want to "work" when I get home. That doesn't mean that we just let each other do whatever, but I never understood why someone says they have to work at their relationship either. That sounds terrible. I'd avoid it too if it was work.
I look at it as you have to put effort into it, and that's hard work for some people 
Meaning you take each other's feelings into consideration and realize it's not always ME, ME, ME. It's hard to compromise sometimes and deal with not getting your way all the time. But yeah, if I felt like I was going to a second job when I get home, I don't think I'd stick around very long. | |
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