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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 357
 
Location: Canada | My friend and I were discussing weddings over the weekend and I'm looking for some insight by those that have "been there, done that." I am thinking of taking off and getting hitched, just the 2 of us. I have never been the type that dreamed about my wedding, thought of it as a big deal, etc. I have no desire to spend a ton of time and $ planning one day and I don't enjoy being the centre of attention. The only part that I would look forward to is my Dad giving me away and the fun times with the bridal party. My friend thinks that I'd be missing out on a big thing in life and that I'd regret it later.
Thoughts? Advice?
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 Midget Lover
   
Location: Kentucky | If I have one regret about my wedding, it's NOT taking off to do it! I should have listened to those who told me to go to Vegas and get hitched.
A big wedding was not for me, but I did it anyways to please a bunch of people. I think it would be a blast to elope and then come back and plan a big celebration with family and friends. |
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 Bulls Eye
Posts: 6443
Location: Oklahoma | My first wedding at 23 was the whole shebang... Church wedding, expensive dress, lovely reception. $$$$$. Ended in divorce less than 3 years later. 2nd wedding was parents, siblings, grand parents (if they wanted to come), and my daughter. We got married at a lovely chapel in Las Vegas. Had our reception/going away party a week later at my in laws house... it was fun and I would do it all over again |
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 Money Eating Baggage Owner
Posts: 9586
Location: Phoenix | I'm in the same boat.....I have no desire to plan a wedding. I'd rather just go to the court house!! |
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Rad Dork
Posts: 5218
Location: Oklahoma | I had a big wedding to please my family (not big as in bridal party wise, husband and I each just has BM and MOH). My dad is one of twelve and to have a big Catholic wedding in our family is mostly expected. It was great getting to see everyone on both my mom and dad's sides that I hadn't seen in a few years, but I hated the planning process. I procrastinated soo much and was ready to elope by the time the wedding actually happened. I had ten months to plan, but I don't think any amount would have been right for me since I am person who very much likes to be in control of every detail. You sound a lot like me (never really dreamed about your wedding, no desire to spend a ton of time and money planning..) and I think you're a perfect canidiate to elope! Or have a small destination wedding with your dad giving you away and you can still have a bridal party and those fun times (I will never forget all the fun that my MOH and I had planning. She was and still is my best friend and I can't wait for our roles to be reversed) and then have a causual reception once you get back with all your family and friends! |
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 Expert
Posts: 2457
| This is why we are planning our wedding to take place in a pasture. We aren't big wedding people. I have never dreamed of my day. So, literally, my dad will give me away in a small, quick ceremony followed by a big party in a pasture under some tents with live music. The end. |
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 Popped
Posts: 20421
Location: LuluLand~along I64 Indiana | my only advise is this..... sometimes marriage gets tuff.... sometimes i have had to look back at that day and say.... i loved that man then and i love him more today. the memories from that wedding experience have regrouped me and softened hurt feelings. He has said the same thing also.
So what ever you decide to do make it something that you can look back on and remember. My memories are of a small chappel in gattlinburg with my family and a couple close friends in tow. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 357
Location: Canada | luluwhit - 2015-01-05 12:36 PM
my only advise is this..... sometimes marriage gets tuff.... sometimes i have had to look back at that day and say.... i loved that man then and i love him more today. the memories from that wedding experience have regrouped me and softened hurt feelings. He has said the same thing also.
So what ever you decide to do make it something that you can look back on and remember. My memories are of a small chappel in gattlinburg with my family and a couple close friends in tow.
This is very interesting, I never would have thought of that so will keep it in mind.
If we didn't do a wedding and took off, it would be for a few weeks of just "us" time away so we'd have that to look back on.
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 Googly Goo
Posts: 7053
| Don't cheat your dad out of the opportunity to walk his little girl down the aisle. You don't have to spend a lot of money to make that happen. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1028
| TwistedK - 2015-01-05 12:24 PM My first wedding at 23 was the whole shebang... Church wedding, expensive dress, lovely reception. $$$$$. Ended in divorce less than 3 years later. 2nd wedding was parents, siblings, grand parents (if they wanted to come), and my daughter. We got married at a lovely chapel in Las Vegas. Had our reception/going away party a week later at my in laws house... it was fun and I would do it all over again
This is also my experience, almost to a T. |
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 Serious Snap Trapper
Posts: 4275
Location: In The Snow, AZ | Hubby and I were going to elope. Just the two of us. Partially because we didn't want a big hassle of a wedding. And because we didn't want, nor wanted anybody else, to have to dish out a ton of dough to have a big wedding. The extravagancy is not what we wanted. Nor did we eish to burden others. My mom found out of our plans to elope, and asked we reconsider. We ended up still getting married in Vegas, The Little White Wedding Chapel. Had close family, there were 10 people total, I believe. Nice, simple ceremony. Didn't break anyones bank. Still small and easy.
Good luck with your decision. It is for you and your spouse. Do what will make you two happy. |
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 Expert
Posts: 2276
Location: ohio-in my own little world with pretty ponies :) | I haven't gotten married but I am in October. Personally, I wanted to elope and then come back and celebrate with everyone BUT I kept having a voice in the back of my head saying I would regret it in the future if I didn't have an actual wedding. We aren't doing a big fancy thing..pretty cheap actually. We are doing a lot of things ourselves. Our only more expensive things were the venue and our photographer(if we're going to do it I want a good photographer to document it) I got my dress on mega sale( a family friend is hemming it for me), my sister has taken bakingn classes and is making cupcakes, my mom and dad are growing our flowers, I'm good willing like crazy for mason jars and plates(we are doing mix and match) my grandma has a lot of old fabric from my great grandma and is sewing mix and match table napkins, a friend is making food and smoking a pig for the meal and we have a friend that is a dj that is doing it for a bottle of whiskey and $50 hahah. I'm actually having a lot more fun planning than I thought I would which is making me more excited to have the wedding.
But it what's important is what you will be happy with. At the end of the day it's about who your marrying and yourself. |
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Red Hot Cardinal Fan
Posts: 4122
| I had the big country wedding, 300 plus people, great food, great time. We had an amazing day, but if I could do it over again, it would be a small wedding with immediate family only followed by a larger reception. I would have never missed out on the opportunity to have my dad walk me down the isle, but I could have done without it being in front of so many people.
I don't think I've ever spoke with someone who went away to get married, and then they later regretted it. Although I know several people, myself included, who wish they would have had something smaller or eloped with a few family members.
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 Cute Little Imp
Posts: 2747
Location: N Texas | Murphy - 2015-01-05 12:23 PM
If I have one regret about my wedding, it's NOT taking off to do it! I should have listened to those who told me to go to Vegas and get hitched.
A big wedding was not for me, but I did it anyways to please a bunch of people. I think it would be a blast to elope and then come back and plan a big celebration with family and friends.
Ditto! You don't sound like you'd regret it, so spend your money elsewhere. You'd be surprised how many people go through with a big wedding just to please other people, and wish they could have just eloped instead. |
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Location: Saskatchewan | Well we just returned from our wedding in Jamaica with 12 family members/close friends. Best decision ever!!! We both lead extremely busy lives, hubby works 10 hours from home in shifts as a welder, I run our welding business from home, work a full time job and take care of everything else under the sun in between. Planning a huge wedding was not our cup of tea, we wanted immediate family there and everyone got a vacation out of it too, minus the 3 days of monsoon rain we got, had to bump the big day, but we still had a blast and do not regret it one bit. Granted we had a few rude comments from family about no reception, not fair to everyone else blah blah blah. It's your day and to each to their own but I don't regret what we did at all. I hate being the center of attention as well just wasn't our thing.Good Luck!! |
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I keep my change in my pockets
Posts: 2985
Location: MN | We have two sons who are 26! Yes old, yes twins. One eloped this last Labor Day weekend to Las Vegas. My hubby and I wished at we could've been there but this was their choice. They are having a reception in Feb. Nothing fancy serving bar-b-que pork sandwiches, salads and chips, cash bar and a DJ.
Second son is greeting married in April with the big wedding and all the trimmings. |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 794
| I went to the courthouse and I have regretted it every day of my 30 years of marriage. I HATE. That my family was not there to share that time with me. I allowed my husband to talk me into it and I HATE it to this day. Just don't do something someone else wants you to do. With Pinterest and all the crafty ideas out there today you can have a small very nice wedding for little expense. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 357
Location: Canada | Thanks for all the replies! Cost isn't a huge issue, as we're late 20's and established but I'm thinking a small wedding may be the right choice for us and our families. |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 302
Location: TX | I got married in October and had the big wedding with family and friends. I loved it and wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Our wedding was outside at a friend's big barn out in the country. We stood under an old wood arbor with a steer head on it and the guests sat on hay bales - which turned out to be good for me because my daddy gave us all of the hay lol. It was perfect. We went the cheap way and made everything or borrowed stuff from family and friends.. My dad walked me down the isle and I wouldn't trade that for anything. I think he would have been heart broken if he wouldn't have been able to do that and the daddy-daughter dance. (even though the daddy-daughter dance was the hardest thing I've ever done)... It definitely was a very special day and having everyone come and celebrate with you creates memories that will last a lifetime.
Now, with all that being said, there's nothing wrong with going away for a wedding.. but make sure you give your family and close friends a chance to be there with you. :) |
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 Thick and Wavy
Posts: 6102
Location: Nebraska | We actually did both, lol. We got engaged, set the date (May 2012) and began preparing for a wedding. December 2011 came and my husband decided that we should just go to the courthouse. By that time, we had already had a lot of the stuff planned so we just went to the courthouse and planned to continue on with the wedding. I'm so glad we did. No one was there but a close friend and my cousin for our actual marriage. The majority of people still don't know about it to this day.
Our wedding was really simple. We had a small ceremony in the neighbor's pasture where only close family and friends attended. Our reception was much bigger (we invited 300). We did a lot of the stuff ourselves and the most expensive part was the food. It was one giant party and was nothing short of awesome! The DJ didn't even want to leave by the end of the night! The only thing I regret is not having a real photographer. We had a family friend do our pictures and while they were great, they just didn't have the artsy aspect. |
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