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 Veteran
Posts: 134
 
| I am struggling to buy the right horse for my 11 yo daughter and in the mean time, i was thinking she could ride mine. She does not ride as much as I do with other activities and time at her Dad's house so im torn on what to do for her. My horse is intimidating but my daughter has the ability to ride her once they get past the "gotta work" moment in the alley. She is a safe safe safe horse. but is all business in the alley. Is it hard on the horse to have multiple riders? Thoughts? i dont want to buy the wrong horse (again, trying to sell that one now!) but dont want my daughter sitting on the sidelines, either! | |
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 Straight Shooter
Posts: 5725
 
Location: SW North Dakota | My daughter is 13. Last fall her barrel horse was sore and not firing hard enough to place at the Jr High Rodeos... I thought about loaning her my horse but I didn't think he was ready for her level of aggressive riding. It's funny, because I bought the horse to train for her as a High School horse, but as it turns out, I like him too much and have decided not to share him (at least not yet).
In my opinion, the benefits would be that I can force my kid to keep my horse legged up for me, avoid the cost of a new horse- plus one less to haul, feed, shoe, etc.
The detriments would be, depending on how hard your daughter rides and in what classes... having to make tack changes in a hurry, potentially having to "fix" your horse due to the mistakes of a young rider, arguments about who gets to go to what with the horse (the kid always wins), and the real possibility that she'll steal your horse forever if she likes him! haha.
For me it was a "no," but my horse is still pretty green- she could probably make a nice run on him, but I think all his feathers would fall out! HA
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Veteran
Posts: 285
| When I was younger I had a apply I use to playday with. My mom bought herself a pretty little mare for herself and I was ready for something faster so she let me playday on her. Of course she ended up being mine. :) funny thing is when she bought her she put her in my name so I guess she kind of expected I would end up riding her anyways. | |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 929
| My stepdaughter and I share a horse. Well...actually she pretty much rides her right now and I keep her tuned up occasionally. But we have 4 horses so it's hard for me to keep them all legged up, especially with a 1 year old baby and one of the horses now just having turned 4.
The only drawbacks are that the horse does not respect her as much as she does me and knows the difference. However, the horse isn't mean...quite the opposite and won't lope or run the pattern as she should because my daughter doesn't ask correctly. I could get on and we could blister down the alley if we wanted. She lets the kid hang off her, jump on and off her like a rock, paint her, do stupid things that kids do to horses and is totally okay with it. She also acts like an idiot tied to the trailer with her but not with me caus she knows I will whack her with the crop.
If you can deal with stuff like that it might work out for you if you are super busy and need to keep your horse legged up. Next I am going to have my daughter start riding our other mare too so I can soley focus on our colt and can transition the baby to being led around on the mare she rides now.  | |
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 I too, shall remain nameless!
Posts: 2248
Location: Wearing a winter coat...... | Confidence....that is most important at that age. If you feel she will have it still and the mare will not be bothered by so many runs. The issue I have seen most run into is- the horse is nice and quiet to begin with but after a summer of two different style riders on them- they aren't the same horse. I would try to get an older- been there- done that type. Kids seem to do best when they feel confident on their horse and grow as a rider. JMO | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 629
| I do not believe its a good idea for parents to share their horses with their kids.
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Expert
Posts: 1586
Location: west of East Texas | I have had to do this over the last year. My 12yo daughter's horse is healing and I couldn't afford to buy another horse. It has worked out well for my daughter but honestly it had put me on the sideline more as I'd rather see her riding in her 'formative' years more than I want to ride myself. We have other horses so we both ride when we are home together (she also goes to her dad's) but she rides the barrel horse because they need time together. I can go to races on dad's weekend. It does the horse good for me to 'tune' on her while the kid is away. It does the kid good to learn a completely different style of horse (the first six months were not that pretty). It has worked well for us. I would say try it and just pay attention to the horse's attitude about it. | |
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 Expert
Posts: 1367
Location: mi | My niece and I share a horse. He is a done that been there awesome older boy. We ride totally different. She is a novice and only lets him go so fast. I am a more experienced rider and will ask him for all he has. He does what ever we ask and has no problem running mulitple times. But I am sure not every horse is as good as him. We have had some HOT shows that we didn't go in every event as we felt it was too much. But we keep in him great shape and it saves us a ton of money verses having two horses. I would say go for it if you think your horse can handle it. And she is capable of dealing with your horse. | |
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 Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| OutlawsLastDance - 2016-01-15 12:08 PM
I do not believe its a good idea for parents to share their horses with their kids.
I'd like to understand why you feel this way... not flaming just curious because it's recently come up in my household. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 629
| want2chase3 - 2016-01-15 2:36 PM
OutlawsLastDance - 2016-01-15 12:08 PM
I do not believe its a good idea for parents to share their horses with their kids.
I'd like to understand why you feel this way... not flaming just curious because it's recently come up in my household.
I think my opinion comes from 2 places. One scenario, I've witnessed as an outsider, and the other just general observations about myself and typical parent/child relationships.
So, the 1st part. I have a friend who has a daughter. Daughter is very active in other sports, but started riding "first". As she got older and got more into other sports and less so the horses, it turned very much into a "I'll ride, if I can just run at the shows" type of situation. She rarely rode at home, especially if it was to really get one legged up. Basically, didn't put in the grunt work. But, she wanted to run at the shows, because she usually could pick up a check, on horses that mom rode, worked, fed, cleaned up, and took care of. I don't agree with this situation. I think having horses is a privilege for kids, and they have to earn it. If they don't put in the hard work, they don't get the easy reward. I do realize, it's not usually EASY to go win a check, but in this type of scenario, it was.
I also don't think its fair to the horse, to have breaks and recovery time taken away, and I don't think it's fair that they have to "put up with" the different riding styles. Whether we know it or not, every single person rides slightly different and has different habits they may not even be aware of. Having a horse competing trying to compensate for the possible differences in rider styles, can be big, depending on the horse. More often than not, kids don't want to listen to their parents telling them what to do, no matter what it is. Don't put a horse that's just doing what it either knows, or what it's being told in the middle of a ****ing contest between parent and child. And, I've seen a lot of kids let bad habits develop because they just don't have the experience or know how to stop them before they get started. And, it's not always fun to the parent to have to always be schooling and tuning on a horse that wouldn't need tuning if it weren't put in that situation to begin with.
I also am extremely, extremely particular about who rides my horses and how they ride them. Clicking with a horse takes time, I realize that. But I don't have the patience for a kid to figure out the kinks, so I prefer to avoid the situation all together.
I just know myself well enough to know, my nerves couldn't take it. I see the advantages. I wish I could let a youth run my horse before my run in the open and see if she gets faster on a 2nd run. I had to take about 6 months off when my dad got sick 2 summers ago, and I wish I could have let some youth ride them to keep them ridden and finish out the season instead of letting them sit for 6 months in the pasture. I just couldn't do it. | |
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Warrior Mom
Posts: 4400
| I agree with all of the above. My reasons for not wanting to "share" my horse could be seen as me being selfish by some and I've been told I'm being ridiculous the way I see it, I am a mother, a wife, a caretaker, basically I do everything for everyone in my family, above and beyond ... my horse is my happy place, just for me. I feel he's the only "thing" that's truly just mine and I am not wanting to give that up. I have a wonderful bond with my horse and I've waited several years and been thru a few bad horses to get to this one. Two things I wish they'd leave alone and understand the way I feel ... my horse and my saddle lol! (Been thru a few bad saddles too) | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 1096
| My daughter and I don't necessarily "share"...That being said she is almost 12. We are working on a 5 yo. We've had him since he was a baby. She has shown him in all kind of 4-H and Rodeo Queen Events. OUr plan is to have me ride him at jackpots the first run and her the second run. The hope being that she can "learn" how to ride him and transition over to him in the speed events quicker. | |
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 Saint Stacey
| I don't believe in sharing. It's not fair to the horse or the kid.
We have our children for a very short time. I've always felt that as a parent, my job was to give my daughter the best childhood I could (providing she earned it by being responsible, respectful and worked hard). I took this so seriously that when she was 10, I gave her my good rodeo horse and my life took a backseat to hers. Seeing her succeed and do good on my horse gave me more joy than doing it myself. Sure, at times it was hard. But it was the right thing to do.
My daughter is now 22 and rodeoing professionally. I am finally starting to get back into it myself. I have a really fancy 3 year old I plan on futuritying. I still love watching her and wouldn't have changed a thing about what I did. The tears flew by too fast and giving her Sidekick helped shape her into a pretty remarkable adult that I'm proud of. | |
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Nut Case Expert
Posts: 9305
Location: Tulsa, Ok | There have been times in the past when my daughter and I shared a horse. In our case it did not cause issues between us or for the horses. I will say that we have very similar riding styles, although my daughter is a little more aggressive. You have to have a horse that is very well conditioned and has the mind to handle the runs. I would not consider it a good long term situation, but sometimes you work with what you have. | |
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Elite Veteran
Posts: 629
| want2chase3 - 2016-01-16 7:05 AM
I agree with all of the above. My reasons for not wanting to "share" my horse could be seen as me being selfish by some and I've been told I'm being ridiculous the way I see it, I am a mother, a wife, a caretaker, basically I do everything for everyone in my family, above and beyond ... my horse is my happy place, just for me. I feel he's the only "thing" that's truly just mine and I am not wanting to give that up. I have a wonderful bond with my horse and I've waited several years and been thru a few bad horses to get to this one. Two things I wish they'd leave alone and understand the way I feel ... my horse and my saddle lol! (Been thru a few bad saddles too)
It's not selfish. Kudos to you, and you are not alone. I think sharing our horses, is something some of us horse women just can't do. | |
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 Extreme Veteran
Posts: 434
Location: Northwest Florida | When I was younger my mom and I shared a horse for a very short amount of time. When we first got horses we were more into trail riding and ranch riding shows. I took an interest in barrels and made my mare I had purchased at an auction, into a pretty competitive little barrel and pole horse with some time. My mom didn't enjoy hauling me to the races and not participating, so she started to sign up on my mare some also. It caused so much drama and fighting among us that I didn't want to go to a race if it meant I had to share my horse. I made it my life's mission to find my mom a barrel horse and by the end of that year she had purchased her own that she still competes on to this day. It is so much more fun when you go together and each have your own horse. Perhaps I was a bratty, selfish teenager, but I felt that I had put the work into my mare and we were very tightly bonded. I hated having to hand her off and go sit alone and watch. It also made it less fun, because when two people ride the same horse I feel it makes it much more competitive between you two. If you're on your own horses, you can ride and warm up together, and cheer each other on and mean it, but when you're riding the same horse you have to secretly hope that you rode it better and their time won't beat your own, lol. Not to mention the hassle of tack change and twice the wear and tear on your horse, the horse having to carry two different riders who ride differently at the same race... It's my personal opinion that the cons outweigh the pros. | |
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