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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 349
 
| So my best friend just asked me to be my maid of honor. I am thrilled, but have never been in a wedding. Any tips from any former maid of honors? brides? I am doing all the research I can so I can be the biggest help that I can. Thanks guys <3 |
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 Expert
Posts: 1631
 
Location: Somewhere around here | When I was getting married I had a lot of people from my husbands side of the family "we should do this" or "we should do that" without really asking if it was something I wanted to do. They weren't rude, just got really excited for a wedding. But I let it get out of hand and stopped caring for a little while but my MOH (maid of honor) reminded me that it is my wedding and asked me what I wanted to do, and kind of reminded other people of that too.
What type of personality is the bride; shy or outgoing? |
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 Expert
Posts: 2097
Location: Deep South | I think a lot of it depends on the personality of the bride. I was a pretty hands off bride. I explained my overall "vision" I guess you could call it, of what I wanted, helped with the major decisions, then left the rest of my wedding planning up to my mom and wedding coordinator. I trusted them and knew it was in excellent hands. I'm terrible with decisions and just didn't want the stress of it.
With that being said, I depended on my MOH to be responsible for planning the bachelorette party. Pretty much by herself. Lol! She coordinated the other girls to see what weekend worked best for everyone, she booked the hotel, she did it all. I literally just showed up. Which works perfect for my personality type!
She was also there the day before, and day of helping with set up, decorating,etc. Helped with take down and clean up too.
I have a best friend that is the exact opposite of me. She had her entire wedding planned by herself literally down to the minute. I'm talking a schedule that said at 4:05 this song title will play, at 4:09 this song title will play, at 4:12 this song, etc.... She is the definition of obsessive compulsive and wanted to do everything herself, including plan the bachelorette party.
You know your friend. Ask her what you can do to take some of the stress off of her. |
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Rad Dork
Posts: 5218
Location: Oklahoma | Your primary duties (without other things that she asks you to do) are to plan a bachelorette party/get together and plan a shower for her.
A lot of what you will be doing depends a lot on the bride, like Bama said. I'm MOH for a wedding in three weeks and I've done much more than just planning a bachelorette and a shower. She doesn't want to plan all the details and attend all the appointments, so that's what I do for her. I gave her props for her bridal pictures, meetings with florists and am in charge of getting her a photo booth set up. She lives about three hours away from where the wedding is being held, so it's much easier for me. I, however, was the total opposite. I made all the decisions and just handed out a couple of tasks.
theknot.com is a good resource with a good timeline and checklist of what you can expect. The biggest thing is just helping out wherever your needed at the moment. |
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Location: Not Where I Want to Be | All good advice so far.
First and most important duty of the MOH is to not have a fling with the groom.
After that it's all cake. |
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Rad Dork
Posts: 5218
Location: Oklahoma | 1DSoon - 2016-03-28 1:22 PM
All good advice so far.
First and most important duty of the MOH is to not have a fling with the groom.
After that it's all cake.
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 Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| I am 8 dresses into 27 dresses, 3 being maid of honor. But yes, know your bride and get to know the wedding party if you don't already. Family too (mom's of bride or anyone else close to the bride/groom).
I was expected to help with some of the planning, dress shopping, assembling center pieces, planning the bachelorette party and the wedding shower. In each of these weddings, things were a bit different and people were involved in different capacities.
I also made sure to have things covered for emergencies. Some of this can go on the personal attendant if they have one. But one wedding, I expected rain and I bought a few umbrellas. I brought bobby pins, hair spray, make-up, dress tape, etc to the wedding to make sure all ran smoothly. I was also in charge of minimizing drama. It never fails something happens when big groups gather.
Be positive and helpful and expect there is a cost involved.
ETA: the speech was my least favorite part... I don't wanna ever be a maid of honor again if there is a speech involved.
Edited by stayceem 2016-03-28 2:05 PM
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 Three in a Bikini
Posts: 2035
| Be prepared to give a speech. Do not think you can wing it!
I have been a MOH and I figured this would be fine. I had known her for so long I would be able to provide some historical mementos and it would be okay. Unfortunately I had one to many drinks before it was my turn and the speech was unremarkable to say the least.  |
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Extreme Veteran
Posts: 349
| Haha well thats easy the groom is basically my adopted brother  |
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 Elite Veteran
Posts: 899
Location: Idaho | I have been in 3 weddings.. all 3 I was maid of Honor. Really a lot of it depends on the bride, but I was also extremely close to the people I was MOH too. They were all like my best friends/adopted sisters. So I didn't plan the wedding showers or bachelorette parties.. but I did everything else. From my experience, the MOH is being the bride's right hand lady. They look to you for support, to help them plan, to help them pick of their dresses and just about everything to go with it. They want you there, planning everything with them. Because if you'r the maid of honor.. well there is a reason for that! and Wedding's can be soo stressful tool! And to be honest, once the wedding's came I was so happy it was over with lol The first wedding I was a part of, I was seriously still in my tom-boyish stage so I was little help when it came to the dress picking thing.. but it all worked out ;) I have since improved in that department. lol
ETA: Oh.. and the speech! Work on that.. I lucked out, the two out of three weddings I was not required. The second one I was apart of, I did but it was very short and to the point. I was really bad at public speaking.. another thing I have since improved on due to how my college was designed.
Good luck!
Edited by DashNDustem 2016-03-28 9:33 PM
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Not Afraid to Work
Posts: 4717
| Kry5ta1 - 2016-03-28 2:12 PM
Be prepared to give a speech. Do not think you can wing it!
I have been a MOH and I figured this would be fine. I had known her for so long I would be able to provide some historical mementos and it would be okay. Unfortunately I had one to many drinks before it was my turn and the speech was unremarkable to say the least.
Yeah my best friend put my on an alcohol limitation until I gave my speech |
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